Sunday, August 31, 2008

Coming Down The Mountain - Part 6 Final Chapter

As the snow on the path started to become more sparse and there were just little patches here and there, he stuck with me. One time, feeling a little independent, I let go, only to fall right down on the path. When you think you can “go it alone now, thank you very much,” you usually fall right down on life’s slippery path too. Independence is quite a touted virtue today, but you must resist the temptation to become independent from God!

After hours of this exercise, the snow on the path came to an end. The rest of the path was lovely, I’m sure. But I hurt so badly. Every step forward was painful. Even to take the smallest step down from one rock to another took the gathering of all my willingness. My legs shook. I felt like I had the flu. Something in my knee started to pull tight with pain at every step. I wondered if it was possible to break your knees!

Think about the people you meet in life that “ seem” to be on a pleasant enough part of the path, and yet they struggle so. You might wonder now what mountain they have just traversed. How many icy steps on the mountain have they taken? How ill equipped were they for what life dealt them? And who has helped them to this point? Always remember that on the pleasant part of the path you were exhausted by what had come before. I felt sick to my stomach, and all I wanted to do was lie down on the path and go to sleep. I imagined people seeing me on the path for the first time at this point saying, “What is her problem?” I vowed to have more sensitivity toward the travelers I meet on life’s path.

As in real life, there was no “wimp wagon” to rest on like I had experienced on mock pioneer treks. I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other, knowing there would be an end. Finally Mel and I found ourselves driving home in a toasty warm car, visiting and rejoicing. We had come to this experience in the dark and now it was dark again. What would have been a half-day bit of creative exercise for her had taken us all day. Your friends willingness to walk you, the novice hiker through this experience with enthusiasm and patience, with never a condescending word, speaks more than any sermon. Be more willing to go the distance with others!

I slipped into a nice warm bathtub that calmed my chills, and then onto the living room couch prepared by my daughter Jenny with pillow, blanket and heating pad. Marv warmed my dinner. I was home safe and I had learned some remarkable things about “coming down The Mountain.”

The End.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, August 31, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Coming Down The Mountain - Part 5

As we left the shed and started to descend the trail, I was feeling very frightened. As I looked down the trail we had come up and thought of the steep inclines and slippery snow, I could imagine how I would keep from falling and possibly being seriously hurt. How could we ever make it down? Back down the mountain we started. This is how it went. Step, step, fall. Hold Mel’s hand. Step, step, slip. Step, step, fall. We did this little exercise long enough to realize that our return journey was going to be even longer and harder than our hike up.

All of a sudden, I became aware of a man standing just below me on the trail. I didn’t notice where he came from, but there he stood, holding his hand out to me. I remember thinking, “What a friendly person.” I looked at his mountain-wise attire including his high and dry hiking boots. “How kind of him to shake everyone’s hand as he zooms down the mountain decked out in his ‘four-wheeling’ boots.” I took his hand and shook it, smiling. As I tried to withdraw my hand from his grasp, he refused to let go of it. “Hold on. I’m going to help you down this mountain. You’ve taken more steps on this mountain, today, than anyone.”

For the next several hours we inched our way down the steep, icy trail. Often we were side-stepping. Always, he was ahead of me, planting himself and allowing me slide my slick tennis shoe into the side of his big boots. Sometimes I just held onto his backpack and skied down behind him. At other times I held onto his back pack, looked down at the small patch of snow covered ground between him and I, and put my feet carefully into his footprints. Over and over again, step after tedious and often dangerous step, he supported me. From the moment he took my hand and for all the hours it took for us to work our way down the mountain, I kept thinking, “I can’t believe he’s really doing this for me!”

In humility, I heard the Spirit of Truth whisper to me: “I can’t believe he is doing this for me!” How often in life, when people are struggling do you simply give them a hearty handshake and a good wish and send them on their way, when what they really need is constant, painstaking, time-consuming help getting off the mountain, whatever that mountain is for them. With each step I hoped that I could become more prepared and willing to go the distance with the people the Lord brings into my life.

This next message, I suppose, was the most profound message that came to me during this experience. The spirit spoke, "This strong selfless man who somehow knows your need and is willing to sacrifice himself in your behalf is doing for you what the Lord Jesus Christ will do for you at all times, if you allow Him. He knows you. He knows how many steps you have taken on life’s treacherous path. He knows what your handicaps are, and He loves you. He loves you so much that he bled from every pore to receive the power from the Father to bring you down life’s mountain, not just having survived the ordeal, but changed and prepared for Eternal life.

Nannette, everyone is ill equipped to conquer this trail alone. Your savior on the mountain was capable of helping you down a trail miles long, but your Savior Jesus Christ has the love and power to help all who come unto Him. You who are aware of His love and power must direct other strugglers to Him in word and in deed. You can bear testimony of His assistance by telling others how He is helping us. You can move ahead each day with enthusiasm and faith in Him, so that others may “see your good works and glorify” not you, but Him. Finally, you can literally be empowered by Him to help others who cross your path. He often uses others as his hands and feet and voice. If you want to help Him you must know, like your friend on the mountain knew, that giving someone a hand, a real hand, requires the gift of self."


To be Continued. (one more time)
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, August 30, 2008

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Friday, August 29, 2008

Coming Down The Mountain - Part 4

Despite the added strain of walking on slippery packed snow, we kept going. We kept hoping the sun would grow warm enough to melt the snow. We kept hoping that each one of numberless bends in the trail would be the last before the lake. Hours passed. My legs were so shaky, by this time, I could hardly put one foot in front of another. With a bit of sarcasm in my voice, I suggested that Mel run up the next hill and see if the lake was just around the next bend. She did. She ran up the trail and turned to wave back. The lake was finally just ahead. Slowly, I hobbled up. It was 1:00 p.m.

We sat down and evaluated our situation. It was still quite cold. There was no hope of the snow melting. My exhaustion and the reality that we could never reach the top and come back in daylight finally pushed us to a decision. We would not go on to the top. Right here, only half way. This was “the top” for me! Again, another humbling thought came into my mind: Nannette, your “top” will always just be somewhere higher than you have ever been before, not as high as anyone has ever gone. Be grateful every time you out-do your old self! That’s the only standard you need to achieve to feel like it was all worthwhile."

To Be Continued.

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, August 29, 2008

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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Coming Down The Mountain - Part 3

About half way to the summit, there is a beautiful spot where most people pause to rest. It’s appropriately called “Emerald Lake.” Well, we weren’t even half way to the lake, when we found the trail covered with snow. I hadn’t expected snow and neither had any of the people who advised me that my old walking shoes would be sufficient for my needs. These were the shoes I’d worn around the block hundreds of times on my daily walks. Comfortable, yes. Tread, zero.

Another lesson appeared in my thoughts: Nannette, comfort and familiarity do not mean safety when it comes to the equipment you choose to help you along life’s path either! Taking the easier, more comfortable way today may actually hinder your progress later. Choose carefully!

As those words passed through my mind, I had no idea how true they would prove in the hours ahead.

To Be Continued.

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, August 28, 2008

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Coming Down The Mountain - Part 2

At first the trail was pleasant enough, but the air continued to be quite chilly, even after the dawn began. We had every hope of the sun coming up and warming us. The view became more and more breathtaking, but I had to balance looking at it with looking at where I was placing my feet on the narrow trail. I came to rely on Melanie–a much more experienced hiker–to tell me when to look up and see the beauty.

"You know you have to do that in life, too, Nan", came another whispered insight. “Your tendency in all areas of your life is to keep your eyes glued to the path. It would be good if you would allow yourself to travel through life with the Holy Spirit guiding you–just like Melanie is today. If you’ll trust Him , He will also say, “Hey, Nan, look at the view from here! It is so beautiful!”

To Be Continued.

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, August 27, 2008

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Coming Down The Mountain - Part 1

I always thought going up a mountain was the hard part–the part that required lots of effort and lots of help. Then, two years ago, on an unforgettable October day, I learned what it means to humble myself and accept the grace of God to help me come down a mountain.

It was early in the summer when my friend, Melanie, and I first started talking of hiking to the 14,000 foot summit of Mount Timpanogos. We weren’t sure when we could do it, but we decided it would get done before the summer was over. We both agreed to start preparing for the climb. As the summer passed, Melanie would report how she was training for the Chicago Marathon, and then ask if I still wanted to keep our date with the mountain. My answer was always, “Yes,” qualified with the admission that I needed to kick my 20-30 minute walks into a “higher gear.” Well, the truth is . . . I never “kicked in.”

Before we knew it, the summer had flown and fall was upon us. It was the first week in October before we could coordinate a time for the climb. Secretly, I was hoping that the weather would sabotage our plans, and it would be too cold, too rainy, too something–anything! When I called Melanie, the night before our big day, she was still all for it. She thought it would be a great day and “See ya at 6:00 am.”

I got up the next morning and prepared to go–ready or not. I dressed, packed my fanny pack with a few supplies, pulled on my oldest, most comfortable walking shoes and was waiting for her when she pulled up. With high spirits we drove the half-hour to the trail head where we would leave the car. It was still dark when we got there. No problem, right? Thousands of people climb this trail every year. Right? What we didn’t take into account is that the spot from which we started our hike was the trail head for several other trails, besides the one to the top of the mountain. It was about 45 minutes after we started hiking that we realized that we were on the wrong trail. Mel informed me that the one we were on, not only didn’t go to the top of the mountain, it went off to the south, through the mountains and all the way into New Mexico!! I laughed and said, “Well, it’s good we turned around before we walked all the way to New Mexico, isn’t it?” As we chuckled over that thought, I felt the Spirit whisper into my mind what was to be the first of a multitude of spiritual lessons reserved for that day–lessons I pray I will never forget. I perceived His words, “Nannette, sometimes in life when you get on the wrong trail, you behave like there is no turning back, but there is. It costs you time and requires you to be humble but not nearly as much time and humbling as it calls for to return from New Mexico or wherever the wrong trail has taken you. Don’t ever delay reversing your course!"

To Be Continued.

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, August 26, 2008

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Sunday, August 24, 2008

“Oh, Besides Him”

One day I had the occasion to sit in on a Young Women lesson being taught by one of the Young Women. She was teaching a lesson on what the girls could do to avoid immorality. “So, what are some of the things we can do to keep ourselves morally clean?” she asked the class.

There was a long silence. Then one hand went up. “We can go the Lord and pray for strength.”

The youthful teachers response was, “Oh, besides Him!”

The children in my life must see that for me the Lord is the first resort, not the last and that I try to never take His power to direct and protect and enable me to do His will for granted. “Oh, Besides Him!”

Deuteronomy 4:35 “Unto thee is was shewed, that thou mightest know that the Lord he is God; there is none else beside him.”

When it comes to getting through today’s struggles, big and small, I want to show that this is what I believe. I cannot share a message I don’t live.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, August 24, 2008

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

“Surfer Girl”

I know that thismorning is two words, not one, but I don’t ever seem to know it in the middle of writing it. Lots of things are like that for me. I can teach it, sing about it, pray about it, write about it, see it in the lives of others ancient and modern, but when it comes right down to life, my life, my thoughts, my deepest feelings, sometimes I forget. The it that I forget is my knowledge of the love of the Lord for me, my love of Him, and the massive evidence compiled in all the moments prior to this one, that He has the love and direction and power necessary to care for me and enable me to do His will in the present moment.

I can always tell when my rememberer is on low power. There are signs. It shows in the scrambled way I feel: anxious, frightened, angry, overwhelmed and under qualified, confused…the list is probably endless. My inability to recall the divine also shows in what I do: I panic, I start collecting opinions from anyone and everyone on the best course to take, and I do anything but the task that seems absolutely daunting, last years mending, cleaning the drawer under the oven etc. Finally, when my memory of the divine starts shutting down I crave my drug of choice, excess food, something, anything for comfort.

Thismorning (there I go again) as I began to make an account of my day on paper and feeling some of the above signs, the melody to an old 50s song came into my mind. Would the Lord really speak to me through an old 50s song? I guess so! As I began to put words to the tune that was playing in my mind suddenly and to my surprise I had tears in my eyes. “Do you love me? Do you surfer girl?”

“What? Is that what I am Lord, a surfer girl? How so?”

I immediately thought of the modern activity of “surfing the net,” where one browses the Internet endlessly for needed information or help with a problem. We browse broadly through a dumping ground of information contributed by experts and con artists, searching for any answer to meet our particular need.

“Dearest Lord, though I have very little experience with the Internet and none with a surfboard, I have been a surfer girl haven’t I. I have years of experience “surfing” or searching for the perfect answer, the perfect activity, the perfect plan, the perfect day. And just like an Internet search, there is no end to it, always searching and never satisfied.” One of the great blessings of living the principles of recovery is that I am coming to know that the answer doesn’t lie in a day where everything on my list is finally checked off.

In closing this little thought I have to do a 5th Step right here and admit to all of you that my curiosity got the best of me. After all, I was a little girl when this song was popular and I wanted to see if any of the words to the song went along with the message in the title, so...I went to the Internet and had a look!

There were three lines that continued to speak to me. First, "Little surfer, little one, make my heart come all undone." Peace and real joy are arrived at when I remember to remember every new day that my wandering about, my incessant search outside of Him does “make His heart come all undone.” Second, "I have seen you on the shore, standing by the ocean's roar." He is aware of me and my every situation. He sees me on the shore of any daunting task and is aware like no other of the "oceans roar.” And third, "So I say from me to you, I can make your dreams come true." That is His promise to me. My real dreams, the ones I've dreamed for an eternity, only He can make "come true.”

I want to show Him by the direction I turn for the answers to life’s daily quandaries and the place I run when the |oceans roar becomes frightening, that my answer to the question, “Do you love Me, do you surfer Girl?” is a resounding yes!

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, August 21, 2008

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

“Honesty is the Best Policy” What an Understatement! – Step 1

Honesty Because It’s No Secret, Not Really

Our Bishop is a law enforcement officer, a sheriff. On Sunday he talked to the youth about the preliminary testing he does to see if someone is under the influence of a drug. Sometimes people lie about their sobriety, but he can tell if someone is sober and being truthful by some pretty simple observations. He says he can’t always tell exactly what they are taking but he can always tell the category of the drug. Sometimes I think that I can fool the world, but I’m sure the signs are readily observable to the trained eye. I need to remember that if sobriety or lack of it in others is no secret then mine surely isn’t either.

Absolute Honesty About the Sacrifice the Lord Asks of Me

There is a story in the New Testament of a man and women who sold some land and then brought the supposed tithing on their increase to the Prophet of the church, who at that time was Peter. When asked if they were paying a full tithe they both lied and then they both keeled over dead. Rather severe, don’t you think. I wonder if these two souls lost their physical lives to teach me this spiritual lesson. When my sacrifice (my abstinence) is less than what is being asked of me by the Lord, it is deadly (spiritually, physically, emotionally) for me to pretend. Though my desire is to live according to His will, when I fall short I need to be honest with myself, honest with another human being, and honest with Him.

By Nannette W.
Written 11-18-01
Posted Tuesday, August 20, 2008

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Monday, August 18, 2008

“Come, Come Ye Saints” - The Tool of “Likening”

Learning to “liken,” the scriptures unto myself, as Nephi calls it, has been a huge blessing in my life. When I liken I look for something in the verse or scripture story that has to do with me. As I read along I prayerfully ask questions, and then write down those thoughts that come into my mind. As I take the time to do this work the Spirit teaches me what the verse or story has to do with me and my situation today. I have learned over the years that the Spirit will also help me liken the words to hymns and even thoughts from great literature to my own situation. I thought it might be kind of fun to share an example of the kinds of questions that come to me as I go through this learning process. I often use a dictionary to help me understand the various meanings of words. I’m not going to share the answers to the questions that came to me as I studied the words to this hymn. They're personal and sacred to me. I am going to use the favorite hymn “Come, Come Ye Saints.” As you read the following I invite you to use your journal to “liken” this hymn to yourself.

“Come, come ye Saints.”
This seems to be an invitation to the Saints to come along. Could this be an invitation to me too?
I am not being asked to cross the plains, so where am I being invited to go today?
What am I being invited to do today?

“No toil (long, hard work) nor labor (physical or mental effort) fear.”
Am I ever afraid of hard, long work?
What are some examples of “toil and labor” that I am afraid of today?
Most people deal with the fear of doing something hard by feeling, thinking and then behaving in a certain way. Sometimes the things we do are destructive to ourselves and others. In fact, they may be compulsive or addictive. What are some of the things I do when I come upon a required task that seems too hard or like it will take too long?

“But with joy wend (go) your way”
So instead of being afraid of long, hard work, according to this inspired song I am supposed to be joyful. How is it possible to do hard things that I am afraid of and feel happy instead of fearful?

“Though hard to you this journey may appear, grace shall be as your day”
My journey sure seems hard sometimes. Maybe “grace” is the answer! I looked up the word “grace” in the Bible Dictionary and found these words. “…It is the divine means of help or strength given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ…It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the atonement and repentance of their sins receive strength and assistance to do good works they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means.” What is it about “grace” that might make a difference in whether I have fear or joy today?

“Grace shall be as your day.”
How much grace can I count on receiving? It’s a challenge to live one day at a time but according to this song a days worth of grace is what I can watch for.

“Tis better far for us to strive our useless cares from us to drive.”
This is another help for living in joy instead of fear on this journey. What are useless cares? Do I have any of them? What are some of the ones I am dealing with today?

Hear are some ideas that come to my mind. Do I ever worry about things I can’t do anything about? What are some examples?

Sometimes I see the Lord helping me and I am grateful but instead of feeling “joy” in the Lord today I worry about tomorrow. Could this be a useless care? Is this a problem for me? Write down an example.

So if we will allow the Lord to help me (grace), and if I will strive to drive away those things I worry about, the things I have no power over, by turning them over to the Lord, this is the promise. This is how I feel today:

“Do this, and joy your hearts will swell. All is well. All is well."

Wow! What a great song. It’s not just of pioneers of 1847. It’s for us, pioneers of the year 2008.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, August 18, 2008

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Tuning My Voice to His – Step 11

I belong to a musical family. Most of us sing in the Church choir and some of us have done some singing in Community Theater, with an occasional solo or vocal recital to keep us on our toes. One of my brothers is a true professional, and because he loves us, he likes to involve us in his musical projects. Several years ago my mother and I found ourselves making the one hour journey to a Salt Lake City studio to sing in the chorus for my brother’s new musical project. This is always a little bit scary for Mom and me because we don’t have a lot of experience with studio singing–you know, headphones, microphones, silencing the vibrato in our classical voices. We were looking forward to several hours of being totally intimidated by twenty-five other selected chorus singers who were apparently brought up in a recording studio and don’t even know the meaning of the word vibrato. It’s always wonderful because the music is so beautiful, but it’s always a bit stressful. This night was no exception.

We finished the chorus parts and were about to leave for home when, unexpectedly, my brother asked if I could stay and sing a solo. He told me this solo was for me, that it was my voice he could hear performing this particular part. I agreed to stay and try. So there I was, decked out in headphones, standing in the middle of a sound stage ALONE!!! This was definitely a new level of intimidation. My brother took his place in the control room ready for “take off,” but it didn’t take off. For hours we worked over my part. Each new “take” as they call it, promised to be the last, but time after time my singing was lacking in one way or another.

My brother would patiently tell me one of three things after each attempt: 1) It lacked feeling or heart; 2) It was too flat or too sharp; or 3) My timing was off. I would focus on one element and the others would suffer. For example, I would focus intently on the timing and do it perfectly, yet lose all the emotion. So I would focus on the feeling and the notes would suffer. I would give every ounce of concentrated effort I could muster to staying on key and completely forget whether to be loud and forceful or soft and tender. Singing with a pre-recorded orchestra being miked into my head was a new ball game. My experience as sacrament meeting soloist had not prepared me for this.

Hour after hour until the wee hours of the morning, he worked with me. He would save anything, any part, any small set of notes that were beautiful in all three ways hoping to piece it all together later. Anything I did right he kept on tape. But there were sections that were not coming together.

Finally he left the control room from which he had been taping and coaching and said, “We’re going to get this, but we will have to do something drastic.” I couldn’t imagine what he had in mind. My brother disclosed his plan. “I think if you were singing to a single note and a click giving you the beat in every measure, you would get it.”

So he listened to the orchestra and played and recorded a perfectly coordinated piano part note by note. Then we went back to work. This time there was no beautiful orchestra singing into my headphones. He played and I sang along with just that single note and a clicking sound to mark the beat. Finally I was getting it. It was a miracle! But if I didn’t focus on that single note, even for a second, I was off again.

Every once in a while he would call me in and say, “Listen to this.” He would let me hear how it sounded with the orchestra. We would get so excited. Then I would go out again and sing a few more bars with my single note and click track. It was the hardest musical work I had ever done.

I was very tempted to quit. Over and over I thought to myself, “This is humiliating. This is embarrassing. I’m wasting my brother’s time, and I’m keeping my poor mother up all night. He must be feeling frustrated and disappointed in me. There are dozens of girls he could call in, and they could do this in a flash. This doesn’t need to be me.” But my sweet brother wanted it to be me. He was willing to pay any price for it to be my voice. So I prayed and focused and sang until it finally came together at 2:00 am. Three hours of work for a handful of measures.

After we listened to it in its entirety, I felt like crying over the loving patience of my brother and his gift to create such a beautiful musical score. I also felt I had experienced something very spiritual, but it was late at night, and the application did not become clear to me until I pondered the experience the next day. I had been given another opportunity to perform–this time in a stake meeting where I sang “O Divine Redeemer.” As I sang, I recognized how much I had learned musically from my experience the night before. When I got home, I decided to write in my journal about what had happened to me. I had been taught to liken scripture to my life, but this was a bit different. This time, as I prayerfully wrote, I was given the spiritual interpretation of a life experience. I was blessed to see how real life experiences can be likened unto scriptural principles when viewed through the eyes of the Spirit. It was a glorious thing to experience. The “translation” or interpretation of what I had learned spiritually began to pour into me.

The Lord seemed to call me by name, and to speak these words to my mind, “The experience you had last night was not just about singing. It was about living. It was about how to live. It is I who selected you to accomplish certain things here on earth. I can see you doing them. It’s your voice, your words I hear. It’s your face I see. It’s your heart I know. It’s your hands I feel. It’s a part I wrote just for you. I am your Brother in the control room. I am your Coach. I will tell you if you are performing without heart. I will tell you if your timing is wrong, or if you are off the note or task one way or the other. I am also the Great Orchestrator, taking all good, saving it, and making it part of a great whole.

But most important, I am that single note you must listen for as you seek to find your note. It is my voice that is perfectly individualized to play only your part, and if you focus on it, your performance will be perfect. Every once in awhile, I will allow you to hear your part, with the whole. You will hear or feel or see your contribution to the symphony in context. But for the most part you will be a single performer singing to a single note. It will take patience, and love, and humility.

There will be times when you will want to give up and let someone else take your part. You will feel embarrassed. You will think you are wasting your time. You will think you are wasting My time, but you are not. This is your part, and I want you to sing it. It is my work and my glory to help you sing it. Sometimes when your work is to do dishes or wipe a nose or figure out how to make dinner out of nothing, listen for the single note provided by My voice, giving you direction, and know that even these notes are vital. And someday when I play you this symphony in its entirety you will see that every beautiful note counted and is appreciated and is a part of the orchestration of all good.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, August 17, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
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Saturday, August 16, 2008

“Not Knowing Beforehand” An Adventure in Letting Go – Step 3

As Nephi sets out on a very difficult assignment from the Lord he says, “And I was led by the Spirit, not know beforehand the things which I should do.” When I study the scriptures I find it very instructive to use a dictionary and look up key words. “Beforehand” means: in advance, ahead, before.

One of the most important things I want to learn to submit to the Lord has to do with this business of “not knowing beforehand.” Clinging to the notion that I somehow have a right to “know” creates a great deal of anxiety. Letting go of the need for a bold vision of where I am headed, in full color, with intricate detail, is a move in the direction of peace and serenity. It also creates an environment within me conducive to immediate action. Turning all results or conclusions of my efforts over to the Lord opens the door and allows the Lord to fill me with instruction and power for the present moment. When I am willing to move forward “not knowing beforehand” my life ceases to be an anxious walk in the dark and becomes an adventurous journey with the Savior as my guide.

By Nannette W.
Written January 12, 2005
Posted Saturday, August 16, 2008

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Friday, August 15, 2008

The Hawk on the Temple Grounds

Two summers ago I was on the grounds of the temple taking a walk outside with my grandchild Sammy while her parents were inside. It was the picture of peace and beauty as usual. As we were walking I noticed a huge bird, the biggest bird I had ever been so close to, outside of a zoo. As we rounded a corner I looked ahead and saw that my daughter, who had come to join us, was standing on the walkway in the distance, observing the same bird.

I walked toward her telling her how amazing the bird was. She stopped me mid sentence and said, “Mom, it’s not wonderful. It’s a hawk and the hawk is taking the baby birds out of that mother robin’s nest one at a time.” I was horrified. “Lord here I am on the grounds of the most sacred place on earth. How can such devastation be encroaching here?”

I was immediately reminded of the tremendous struggles within the homes of the families in my own ward and community. The thought came to my mind, “Nannette, THE HAWK IS ON THE TEMPLE GROUNDS! We have got to protect our children from the hawk by arming them with the ability to come unto Christ for the very real direction and power and protection they can receive because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

By Nannette W.
Written Summer of 2006
Posted Saturday, August 15, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
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Thursday, August 14, 2008

“Is It Enough?” – Perfectionism

The opening song in Sacrament meeting was, “Come Follow Me.” During my fifty plus years, I have sung this song many times. This time was different. As I sang the first line of the second verse, tears came to my eyes.

“Is it enough alone to know that we must follow Him below?”

I heard, “Is it really, Nannette? Is it enough alone to know that you must simply follow Me?” The tears were in reaction to this tenderly expressed question, placed in my mind by my loving powerful Savior.

I have spent a Pharisaical lifetime adding to the list of detailed requirements for having what I refer to as “the true day.” I have whipped myself without mercy for not measuring up. It’s an exhausting way to live. How grateful I am for the simplified instruction to simply, moment by moment, follow Him. It’s Enough!

By Nannette W.
Written December 2005
Posted Thursday, August 14, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It’s Never Too Late, But It’s Also Never Too Early

I know it’s never too late to apply the principles of recovery and healing to our lives, but I also believe that it’s never too early. My granddaughter Eliza went through a tantrum phase that had us all baffled. One day she was spending the afternoon with me when she had occasion (and any occasion would do) to come apart at the seams. I sent her to a room to cool down.

After a few minutes I walked into the room and found a little girl full of remorse. “Grandma, I’m sorry. I won’t ever, ever, ever have a fit like that again.” Seeing my opportunity, I said, “Eliza, that’s not true. You have been trying and trying to fix this problem for a long time, and no matter how many promises you make or how many prizes you earn, you always do it again. You know what? You can’t fix this by yourself, but there is someone who can give you the power to change.”

Right there in the nursery, I sat with a four-year-old and explained that because of Jesus and His suffering, we can ask Heavenly Father to change our hearts and give us the power to change the way we act. Then we had a little prayer together and asked God to give Eliza the power to stop doing something that was destructive to her four-year-old self. We appealed to the Lord for the same enabling power that the recovering addict seeks every new day.

This life is full of opportunities to be with, play with, teach, serve and influence little children. Maybe the greatest service we can offer is to help them understand and act upon the truth that they are never alone when it comes to solving even the most child size problems of life. I want to remember that the grace of God is not just for grown people with big problems. I don’t have to wait until it’s a matter of life and death to share the availability of God with even my youngest heavenly brothers and sisters.


By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008

The High Price of Forgetting - Addiction: The Destructive Substance or Behavior I Consistently Turn To Instead of Turning to God

In The Book of Mormon 1 Nephi 7:11 Nephi asks his brothers, “How is it that ye have forgotten…?” I think it’s so funny that this verse is numbered 7:11 like that “convenience” store we find ourselves walking into for a quick fix, the thing we have forgotten. We kick ourselves as we drive to the mini meet all needs quickly and at any time of day store, in a panic, wondering how we neglected to purchase some important item during our weekly grocery-buying excursion. We use or nearly use Nephi’s very words. Perhaps in a less scriptural way we say to ourselves, “How did you forget?” There we are in the middle of the night paying three times the price for half as much. That’s usually how it is when we forget and want to fix the problem fast. The price exacted by the opportunist who is ready to meet the immediate needs of the forgetful is high.

It’s the same with spiritual forgetfulness too. Often when we forget our God and the things He has taught us in the past, we end up in a mess and feel the need to get ourselves out of it quickly and without too much effort, pain or embarrassment. So, we end up turning to sources that seem convenient but cost us too much in integrity, relationship with God and actual progress. We settle for the immediate and very high priced offer.

The good old fashioned, time tested ingredients for receiving direction, power, real peace, lasting joy and continued growth are always available but not always convenient. They can be had “without money and without price” but always require the surrender of my selfish, impatient, prideful nature as I humble myself and come unto Christ by kneeling by my bed, opening my scriptures, sharing with a friend, recording my feelings in my journal, attending my meetings etc. The next time I find cause to ask myself, “Nannette, how is it the ye have forgotten?” The first thing I need to remember is that when it comes to my spiritual needs there is no 7-11.

By Nannette W.
Written August 2, 2008
Posted August 3, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
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Saturday, August 2, 2008

The Dailies – Daily Devotion or Daily Deception?

The Dailies - Those things we do each day that help us access the knowledge and power needed to do God’s will are sometimes referred to in addiction recovery, as The Dailies. As I was raising my children I encouraged them to make such things as prayer, scripture study, and journal keeping a part of their daily routine, hoping they might form a habit in their youth that would bless them in the future. My kids used to play a game with me in regard to their own dailies, especially in the summer time. In the late evening, after they were tired from a day of fun in the sun, I would say, “It’s quiet reading time (time to read a book, read scripture, write in a journal, and pray).” Often the reply was, “Oh, I want to do those things in the morning.” The response to my morning re-invitation was the desperate plea for play now and the very sincere promise to read and write later. “Please, please mom! I promise I’ll do it tonight!”

It wasn’t too many days into the summer or into the years of motherhood before I became wise to this particular dance with integrity. After this pattern was repeated morning and evening for a few days and the evidence was clear, I would confront the children with their self-deception. Then I would to try to help them see that they were only fooling themselves, and that this time with the Lord was not something to avoid because great blessings would come into their daily lives as a result of consistent connection with God through study and prayer.

The Lord brought this little piece of family history to my remembrance just this week. I was battling in my mind over the fact that I had slept through the time I have committed to the dailies. I had once again stayed in bed and said to myself (the prideful name I use for God when I want to imagine that He is out and about and not listening), “I’ll pray and study later.” And about midday when life crowded in on my weak commitment to later, I imagined how I might possibly conclude the evening with devotion to and communication with my Heavenly Father and His Son. But alas, with the setting of the sun, weariness overtook me, and I became full of resolve for early morning “quiet study time.”

Somewhere in the middle of this delusional cycle the Lord used the vision of the past parent/ child experience to convict His own little girl (me). I guess He felt that the pattern had been repeated morning and evening long enough and that the evidence was clear, so He confronted me with my own self-deception. He is obviously not fooled. I believe he is very aware of my pitiful lack of integrity.

I don’t want to play this game with the Lord any more. I can’t imagine saying to Him, day after dishonest day, “We’ll talk in the morning.” And then when morning comes, “Hey, how about we try to connect tonight.” But that’s exactly what I do! I will never be the winner of this game of self-deceit. Prayer, prayerful scripture study, and making a record of the impressions that come through His Spirit are gifts of communication from Him to me. He is the prize I avoid. Relationship with Him is the reward I run from. To win is to connect every day all day by coming unto Him through the dailies.

By Nannette W.
Written Thursday, February 8, 2007
Posted Saturday, August 2, 2008

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Maybe Progress is Perfection

Today as I walked into school I was met with true elation. Five-year-old Ethan ran into my arms ecstatic over an event that had just occurred at recess. Jake, his hero, his older by 6 years and a near home school graduate had spent the thirty minute brake preparing Ethan to have a “first.” “Grandma, Grandma, I caught my first ball from far away! A baseball! I can’t believe it!” The event was so joyous to Ethan that he told his Heavenly Father about it during the home school closing prayer. Right after “Thanks that we could learn about Abraham” and before “Thanks for recess” Ethan thanked God for the monumental catch.

There was another “first” today, for Kylee. Age five is so full of them. The little band of learners had been challenged to express on paper, at their own one room schoolhouse level, the definition of the word covenant. There was a scurry as the children each worked to express theirs thoughts in sentences, or a few simple words, or with a simple drawing of a child and a Heavenly Father, together, making an agreement. Suddenly and unexpected a little girl squealed out with joy, “That’s the first word I ever spelled all by myself.” Words cannot do justice to the sound of her voice and the look on her face. It was so stunning a moment that all work ceased and all attention turned to her moment of joyful success. With eyes aglow and a smile extended to maximum she exclaimed, “I spelled the word ‘promise’ all by myself!”

How far was Ethan from the ball he caught. I don’t know. I only know that is was his best catch yet. I do however know a little more about the spelling of Kylee’s word. My adult curiosity got the best of me and during the excitement I snuck close enough to catch a peek at the celebrated word. Thinking that her excitement came over spelling the word perfectly I was taken back as I looked at the word on the paper. Promise spelled “parmas.” This was the first word she had ever attempted to sound out and put on paper…. and we were all there. A kind of joyful awe seemed to fill the space.

Kylee and Ethan know something that I’ve forgotten. I’m afraid I have a few too many years under my belt. For them progress is perfection. It’s the next perfection for them, and that is all that matters. In the moment of taking a brand new step forward there is no comparing, down playing or wishing for more, only joy and appreciation. The next time I take a mini step forward in some aspect of living I want to celebrate like a child, like it’s the biggest deal ever, because it is! It’s my biggest deal ever! Any progress is my next perfection.

AA Slogan- “We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” (Alcoholics Anonymous 60)

LDS Scripture – “… I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little...” (Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 28:30)

By Nannette W.
Written Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Posted Saturday August 2, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.
This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.