Please forgive me for returning to a learning ground I have visited in the past, but a soccer field full of five year olds is such a rich spot of ground for being taught at all levels. Carson seems to have a little more energy for the game this season. In last weeks game he actually made two goals – He scored one for his team and one for the opposing team.” When his mom asked him what happened he answered back, “I Forgot!”
I can relate to your experience Carson. I’ve never played a game of soccer, but I have scored for the other team, for “the enemy” in the game of life. After I come to my senses I often question myself. “What were you thinking Nannette? What happened?” My answer is almost always, “I forgot.”
The ability to remember must be a very important part of our progress. The word “remember” is used 275 times in scripture, not by accident. Being forgetful seems to be one of the greatest handicaps among the children of Heavenly Father.
My tendency is to forget all kinds of important things: Spiritual confirmations I have felt when doing good; The pain I have felt as I have made a poor choices; Things I’ve committed to do; Reasons I’ve made commitments in the first place; Promises I’ve made to God and to others; Gifts I’ve received; Miracles I’ve witnessed; Sacrifices that have been made for me. I forget that people mean well, that people are forgiving. I forget that it’s about progress and not about perfection. I forget that the Atonement is for me, today. I forget that I can repent and start clean. I forget that God promises to forget. I forget that God loves me no matter what.
A question comes to my mind. It’s a question that Nephi asks his brothers after a particularly rough day. He say, “How is it that you have forgotten?” (1 Nephi 7:10). One day I was reading these words and it struck me that this is a good question to ask myself. So often I ask myself in disgust, “Why did you forget?” This question is usually not very helpful. It leads me to either self-loathing, as I beat myself up for being stupid, or it leads me to be self justifying, as I look for someone else to blame for my memory lapse.
Nephi doesn’t ask “why?” He asks, “How is it that you have forgotten?” “How” means “in what condition?” or “for what reason?” The answer calls me to inventory what I did or did not do that diminished my personal ability to remember the things that are important to my progress. How was it that I came to be in such a state of forgetfulness that I ran a play and score for the Devil.
I usually don’t have to look very far. In fact if I ask the Lord He will tell me. He’ll remind me that I have neglected to do those things that enable Him to bless me with a magnificent memory. Remembering is actually a gift of revelation. Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ can and will help us recall, deep inside of our hearts, powerful understandings, feelings, and experiences that seem to be easily forgotten or set aside without His help. Early morning prayer and study from the scriptures, and a heart full of prayer throughout the day are not duties. They are invitations, the act of giving the Lord permission to bring images or ideas to our minds, from the past, that will keep our heads in the game, keep our legs running in the right direction, and keep our feet from the temptation to kick to ball across enemy lines.
The idea is to live this day so I do not score against myself, and when I do (because I inevitable will), I will learn from the experience by asking the right question. “Nannette, how is it that you have forgotten?” Better yet, “Lord, how is it that I have forgotten?” And then do those things that invite Him to fix my “rememberer!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
“So…What Do You Eat For Breakfast?”
One afternoon last week I answered the phone and the voice on the other end of the line said, “This is Brother ______, the man in your ward who said he was interested in loosing weight. You said you’ve lost 92 pounds. So, what do you eat for breakfast?”
The question caught me completely off guard, maybe because it was a man, and he was so direct. Usually when women inquire they’re a little more vague. They say things like, “So tell me what you’ve been doing.” I understand that they want to know what food plan I found to be so successful and if I go to the gym twice a day. I always explain that my weight loss is due to treating my struggle with food as an addiction, the same way an alcoholic, who wants recovery, treats his or her alcoholism. I try to live each day applying the spiritual based, gospel based 12 Steps to my life and I attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 12 Step support group meetings.
For some reason when this gentleman called and asked what I eat for breakfast everyday I told him. As I hung up I imagined how ridiculous it would be for a disparate alcoholic to call an alcoholic living in recovery and say him, “Hey, I’m struggling with alcohol and I need help. So what do you drink now that your not drinking alcohol?”
I imagined the man in recovery answering back, “Well, I have orange juice with my breakfast, milk at lunch, ice water with my dinner and a little apple juice in the afternoon.”
No one in his or her right mind would even begin to think that this information would be helpful to the struggling alcoholic. My experience is that, “What do you eat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner?” is likewise the wrong question for the compulsive eater!
Generally, people know what to eat, drink, spend, play, and view. We know what moderate work, exercise, spending, and frustration look like. We know what other people take for pain and how much. But knowing what is right and choosing the right are two different things for the addict. For the person wanting lasting relief from addiction there is only one question. “What must I do to receive the power to change my destructive use and excess behaviors?”
I too use to ask recovering compulsive eaters what they ate for breakfast. Now I understand that the information I really needed was, “How do you live between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and until you go to bed to receive the power to eat meal after meal in health and moderation.
I pray I will continually remember that my recovery is the result of the power I have received and continue to receive from God. It has not only changed my body, it has changed my life, and it most certainly is not simply about what I eat for breakfast!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, March 28, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The question caught me completely off guard, maybe because it was a man, and he was so direct. Usually when women inquire they’re a little more vague. They say things like, “So tell me what you’ve been doing.” I understand that they want to know what food plan I found to be so successful and if I go to the gym twice a day. I always explain that my weight loss is due to treating my struggle with food as an addiction, the same way an alcoholic, who wants recovery, treats his or her alcoholism. I try to live each day applying the spiritual based, gospel based 12 Steps to my life and I attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 12 Step support group meetings.
For some reason when this gentleman called and asked what I eat for breakfast everyday I told him. As I hung up I imagined how ridiculous it would be for a disparate alcoholic to call an alcoholic living in recovery and say him, “Hey, I’m struggling with alcohol and I need help. So what do you drink now that your not drinking alcohol?”
I imagined the man in recovery answering back, “Well, I have orange juice with my breakfast, milk at lunch, ice water with my dinner and a little apple juice in the afternoon.”
No one in his or her right mind would even begin to think that this information would be helpful to the struggling alcoholic. My experience is that, “What do you eat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner?” is likewise the wrong question for the compulsive eater!
Generally, people know what to eat, drink, spend, play, and view. We know what moderate work, exercise, spending, and frustration look like. We know what other people take for pain and how much. But knowing what is right and choosing the right are two different things for the addict. For the person wanting lasting relief from addiction there is only one question. “What must I do to receive the power to change my destructive use and excess behaviors?”
I too use to ask recovering compulsive eaters what they ate for breakfast. Now I understand that the information I really needed was, “How do you live between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and until you go to bed to receive the power to eat meal after meal in health and moderation.
I pray I will continually remember that my recovery is the result of the power I have received and continue to receive from God. It has not only changed my body, it has changed my life, and it most certainly is not simply about what I eat for breakfast!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, March 28, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A Lesson From The Garage Door – Acceptance Is The Answer - Step 3
Just home from his mission for two weeks, my son had spent the day looking for meaningful work and receiving guidance for the fall university semester. He had spent the evening trying to find his returned missionary social footing. Feeling a bit like a fish out of Uruguay waters he announced, with a hint of “Castiano,” that he was headed solo to Arctic Circle to get a shake. I’ve experience the transition between mission and civilian life with my other children. I know it doesn’t last forever, but my mother heart ached a bit for him.
As he was pulling the car out of the garage the phone rang. It was for him. “Yea! Social interaction!” I thought. I wanted to catch him before his drove off, so I grabbed the phone and headed for the garage. The garage door was headed down and my son was just turning out of the driveway and heading down the street. I hit the electric opener, sending the door up and ran for the opening. My son glanced back to make sure he had shut the door. Seeing the door going up and not seeing me, he hit the remote in the car again. Having no idea the door was now on the way down and wanting to catch the slow moving car I ran full force for the opening. The next thing I knew I was seeing stars. With great force and a lot of noise the garage door came crashing down on my head.
My son heard the noise, saw me and understood exactly what had occurred. Holding my hand to my head, in a bit of a daze, and having no idea how I could have misjudged so badly, I walked the phone out to the car and handed it to my son, who explained to me his view of the collision.
God must have wanted to get a message into my thick head that night. As I walked back into the house with my head ringing I thought, “Now that was the very picture of the truth that doing good is not a guarantee against bad, against pain, against being slammed in the head, in this case literally!”
This is very important information. Many of us spend years of our lives trying to “get it right” so that everything will go “just right.” The expectation proves debilitating. When things don’t go perfectly in accordance with the good we have done, when things come falling or crashing down, as the case may be, we often waste valuable energy wondering if we can really trust God and worrying about and doubting our ability to choose rightly.
Nephi tells us that a life full of affliction and a life full of the goodness of God can and do coexist. We do not have to look very far into his writings to find this truth expressed. The most read verse in the Book of Mormon is undoubtedly 1 Nephi 1:1. “… having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God…”
Elder Perry expresses it this way, “Those of us who have been around a while…have recognized certain patterns in life’s test. There are cycles of good and bad times, ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness, and times of plenty as well as scarcity. When our lives turn in an unanticipated and undesirable direction, sometimes we experience stress and anxiety. One of the challenges of this mortal experience is to not allow the stresses and strains of life to get the better of us. It is to endure the varied seasons of life while remaining positive, even optimistic…We can’t predict all the struggles and storms in life, not even the ones just around the next corner, but as persons of faith and hope, we know beyond the shadow of any doubt that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and the best is yet to come” (Ensign, Nov. 2008, 7).
The Alcoholic in recovery deals with the incongruence between the good we do and the trials that inevitably come, with this understanding; “…acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake” (Big Book Page 449 3rd Edition).
Not even a bump on the head!
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
As he was pulling the car out of the garage the phone rang. It was for him. “Yea! Social interaction!” I thought. I wanted to catch him before his drove off, so I grabbed the phone and headed for the garage. The garage door was headed down and my son was just turning out of the driveway and heading down the street. I hit the electric opener, sending the door up and ran for the opening. My son glanced back to make sure he had shut the door. Seeing the door going up and not seeing me, he hit the remote in the car again. Having no idea the door was now on the way down and wanting to catch the slow moving car I ran full force for the opening. The next thing I knew I was seeing stars. With great force and a lot of noise the garage door came crashing down on my head.
My son heard the noise, saw me and understood exactly what had occurred. Holding my hand to my head, in a bit of a daze, and having no idea how I could have misjudged so badly, I walked the phone out to the car and handed it to my son, who explained to me his view of the collision.
God must have wanted to get a message into my thick head that night. As I walked back into the house with my head ringing I thought, “Now that was the very picture of the truth that doing good is not a guarantee against bad, against pain, against being slammed in the head, in this case literally!”
This is very important information. Many of us spend years of our lives trying to “get it right” so that everything will go “just right.” The expectation proves debilitating. When things don’t go perfectly in accordance with the good we have done, when things come falling or crashing down, as the case may be, we often waste valuable energy wondering if we can really trust God and worrying about and doubting our ability to choose rightly.
Nephi tells us that a life full of affliction and a life full of the goodness of God can and do coexist. We do not have to look very far into his writings to find this truth expressed. The most read verse in the Book of Mormon is undoubtedly 1 Nephi 1:1. “… having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God…”
Elder Perry expresses it this way, “Those of us who have been around a while…have recognized certain patterns in life’s test. There are cycles of good and bad times, ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness, and times of plenty as well as scarcity. When our lives turn in an unanticipated and undesirable direction, sometimes we experience stress and anxiety. One of the challenges of this mortal experience is to not allow the stresses and strains of life to get the better of us. It is to endure the varied seasons of life while remaining positive, even optimistic…We can’t predict all the struggles and storms in life, not even the ones just around the next corner, but as persons of faith and hope, we know beyond the shadow of any doubt that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and the best is yet to come” (Ensign, Nov. 2008, 7).
The Alcoholic in recovery deals with the incongruence between the good we do and the trials that inevitably come, with this understanding; “…acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake” (Big Book Page 449 3rd Edition).
Not even a bump on the head!
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, March 20, 2009
“I Know Because My Mother Tried” - Step 1 Honesty
Tonight my daughter and I were having the usual, “How was your day?” exchange over the telephone. I told her my day was great and then I added my predictable un-recovered, perfectionist addendum, some comment about something I hadn’t accomplished. She replied musically, using a phrase from a Michael McLean song, only her version had a little twist. The actual words are, “I can’t do everything. I know because I’ve tried …” My daughters words were, “I can’t do everything. I know because my mother tried.”
That made me smile. There are things about me, ways I’ve behave toward life that I don’t want to pass on to my children and grandchildren. Because I work on recovery in the open, in front of my family, they are aware of my weaknesses. That’s OK. There is obvious value when parents pass down righteous traditions. There is also tremendous merit in humbly demonstrating to those we love that we are aware of and desire to address our weaknesses. There are things about our characters that we are not proud of, and things we do not wish to pass down through the generations. Perhaps the most righteous tradition we can pass down to our children has to do with the way we address our own unrighteousness. Jesus gives us the following understanding:
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
If I practice, in the open, in front of my family, coming unto Christ, in my weakness, and work toward becoming perfected in Him, through Him, and because of Him, perhaps the promise found in Ether 12:27 will not only bless me but my loved ones as well. Maybe my weakness, well addressed, will become their strength! Maybe there are things my kids will know “because their mother tried.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, March 20, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
That made me smile. There are things about me, ways I’ve behave toward life that I don’t want to pass on to my children and grandchildren. Because I work on recovery in the open, in front of my family, they are aware of my weaknesses. That’s OK. There is obvious value when parents pass down righteous traditions. There is also tremendous merit in humbly demonstrating to those we love that we are aware of and desire to address our weaknesses. There are things about our characters that we are not proud of, and things we do not wish to pass down through the generations. Perhaps the most righteous tradition we can pass down to our children has to do with the way we address our own unrighteousness. Jesus gives us the following understanding:
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
If I practice, in the open, in front of my family, coming unto Christ, in my weakness, and work toward becoming perfected in Him, through Him, and because of Him, perhaps the promise found in Ether 12:27 will not only bless me but my loved ones as well. Maybe my weakness, well addressed, will become their strength! Maybe there are things my kids will know “because their mother tried.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, March 20, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
When First Gear Fails - Step 3 Trusting in God in All Things
Early this morning I received a call from a friend for support in recovery. When I hung up I knew that this was not going to be an easy day in her recovery. It would be a day of physical withdrawal. I was fill with the feelings of, “If only there were something I could do so that her day might not be so difficult. I called the two local temples and had her name placed on the prayer roll. I too offered a prayer in her behalf and turned her over to the care of the Lord.
There is nothing more beautiful to me than a warm almost spring winter day. The sun shining on the snow packed mountains framed in sky-blue was irresistible to me. I took my bike out of hibernation, put on my serious biker helmet and gloves and took off. No gym for me today. I knew I didn’t have more that 45 minutes to ride and I wanted to get some good exercise so I headed downhill for fun knowing that once down the only way back home would be up.
Several times, as I pedaled along, I thought of my early morning call. Finally I’d had all the fun going downhill there was time for. I played around with the gears on my bike in hopes of adjusting them for a challenging ride up a very long, steep hill. Apparently God had something else in mind today, because I could not get my bike to shift into first gear no matter what I tried. I was very frustrated, but there was nothing to do but work with the middle gear and keep peddling. I tried the first gear again and again. I even offered up a little “Please fix my bike” prayer.
As I huffed and puffed and submitted to the reality of my condition my friend’s situation entered my mind once again. At that very minute I knew she was experiencing the excruciating side effects of withdrawal from drugs. At that moment I had the thought, “Nannette, it is not a bad thing to go through something hard. At the top of this hill you will be stronger than you were at the bottom. Likewise, at the end of the day your friend will have experienced something very challenging, but she will be stronger for it.
I know the Lord can and will lighten our burdens, but He doesn’t always provide us with “first gear” travel. Trusting God in all things means to proceed up the hill He has placed in my path no matter what gear I am required to use. Jesus speaks to the prophet Joseph in the middle of one of his most challenging climbs with these words, “…know thou, my son, that all these things shall give the experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7).
It’s critical to remember, when my own muscles, physical and spiritual, start to burn, or when my heart aches over the painful experiences people I love are passing through, that the Lord allows us to go through hard things for our good, for our growth, and for our increased strength. The Lord’s work is not to provide the easy way through this life, but the sure way Home.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
There is nothing more beautiful to me than a warm almost spring winter day. The sun shining on the snow packed mountains framed in sky-blue was irresistible to me. I took my bike out of hibernation, put on my serious biker helmet and gloves and took off. No gym for me today. I knew I didn’t have more that 45 minutes to ride and I wanted to get some good exercise so I headed downhill for fun knowing that once down the only way back home would be up.
Several times, as I pedaled along, I thought of my early morning call. Finally I’d had all the fun going downhill there was time for. I played around with the gears on my bike in hopes of adjusting them for a challenging ride up a very long, steep hill. Apparently God had something else in mind today, because I could not get my bike to shift into first gear no matter what I tried. I was very frustrated, but there was nothing to do but work with the middle gear and keep peddling. I tried the first gear again and again. I even offered up a little “Please fix my bike” prayer.
As I huffed and puffed and submitted to the reality of my condition my friend’s situation entered my mind once again. At that very minute I knew she was experiencing the excruciating side effects of withdrawal from drugs. At that moment I had the thought, “Nannette, it is not a bad thing to go through something hard. At the top of this hill you will be stronger than you were at the bottom. Likewise, at the end of the day your friend will have experienced something very challenging, but she will be stronger for it.
I know the Lord can and will lighten our burdens, but He doesn’t always provide us with “first gear” travel. Trusting God in all things means to proceed up the hill He has placed in my path no matter what gear I am required to use. Jesus speaks to the prophet Joseph in the middle of one of his most challenging climbs with these words, “…know thou, my son, that all these things shall give the experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7).
It’s critical to remember, when my own muscles, physical and spiritual, start to burn, or when my heart aches over the painful experiences people I love are passing through, that the Lord allows us to go through hard things for our good, for our growth, and for our increased strength. The Lord’s work is not to provide the easy way through this life, but the sure way Home.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
“There’s The Killer Right There” - Putting Things Into Perspective - Steps 8 and 9
I arrived at Ethan’s basketball game just in time for the forth quarter. As I entered I looked around the gym and found Ethan sitting “on the bench” (on the folding chair next to his mother). There was a tear rolling down his cheek.
“What’s goin’on buddy?” I asked as he gave me his chair and sat his sweaty little 7-year-old body down on my lap.
“The kid I’m guarding is so mean. He keeps elbowing me and he also kicked my leg. I don’t want to guard him any more.”
I thought I’d get my head in the game and see if I could pick out the big kid who was causing my grandson such anxiety. I didn’t have to wait long. The ball moved down to our end of the court and so did the ten 7-year-olds.
“There’s the killer, right there, Grandma!!!” Ethan said with passion. The “killer” was a very fair, baby faced, little blue-eyed blond kid. To me he just looked like somebody’s little boy playing his first season of basketball. His skinny little arms were raised up toward the basket hoping to get the rebound. There was absolutely nothing frightening about this little fellow.
I watched him (the killer) until Ethan was put back into the game. Then I turned my eyes to the little man I had come to watch. Ethan was guarding someone else now and boy was he ever in this kids face.
“I wouldn’t want Ethan to be guarding me!!!” I thought. I could picture the boy Ethan was guarding being the next one on the sidelines with a tear rolling down his cheek pointing out my grandson to his Grandma saying, “There’s the killer, right there!”
Steps 8 and 9 of the 12 Steps are the steps of forgiveness, reconciliation and restitution. They are the steps we take to free ourselves of cankering feelings that threaten our peace. They are the steps that help us do what ever we can to heal our relationships. One of the miracles I have experienced and heard described over and over is the miracle of being given a new perspective by the Lord, a perspective that allows us to see ourselves and the people and circumstances in our past in the light of truth.
One day the grown man, Ethan, will be sitting and watching his little 7-year-old boy play basketball. Perhaps he will remember “the killer” he had to guard that winter day in 2009. As he looks the situation over, with grown up eyes and a heart that has been touched by God, he’s going to rethink things. “Wait a minute. We were only 7. No 7 year-old is a “killer” on the court!”
It may seem like a little unimportant moment of clarity regarding a very insignificant event in Ethan’s history. However, it’s just such moments of divine perspective over time and over issues great or small that bring to pass in our lives the Savior’s promise. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you …” (John 14:27)
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, March 14, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“What’s goin’on buddy?” I asked as he gave me his chair and sat his sweaty little 7-year-old body down on my lap.
“The kid I’m guarding is so mean. He keeps elbowing me and he also kicked my leg. I don’t want to guard him any more.”
I thought I’d get my head in the game and see if I could pick out the big kid who was causing my grandson such anxiety. I didn’t have to wait long. The ball moved down to our end of the court and so did the ten 7-year-olds.
“There’s the killer, right there, Grandma!!!” Ethan said with passion. The “killer” was a very fair, baby faced, little blue-eyed blond kid. To me he just looked like somebody’s little boy playing his first season of basketball. His skinny little arms were raised up toward the basket hoping to get the rebound. There was absolutely nothing frightening about this little fellow.
I watched him (the killer) until Ethan was put back into the game. Then I turned my eyes to the little man I had come to watch. Ethan was guarding someone else now and boy was he ever in this kids face.
“I wouldn’t want Ethan to be guarding me!!!” I thought. I could picture the boy Ethan was guarding being the next one on the sidelines with a tear rolling down his cheek pointing out my grandson to his Grandma saying, “There’s the killer, right there!”
Steps 8 and 9 of the 12 Steps are the steps of forgiveness, reconciliation and restitution. They are the steps we take to free ourselves of cankering feelings that threaten our peace. They are the steps that help us do what ever we can to heal our relationships. One of the miracles I have experienced and heard described over and over is the miracle of being given a new perspective by the Lord, a perspective that allows us to see ourselves and the people and circumstances in our past in the light of truth.
One day the grown man, Ethan, will be sitting and watching his little 7-year-old boy play basketball. Perhaps he will remember “the killer” he had to guard that winter day in 2009. As he looks the situation over, with grown up eyes and a heart that has been touched by God, he’s going to rethink things. “Wait a minute. We were only 7. No 7 year-old is a “killer” on the court!”
It may seem like a little unimportant moment of clarity regarding a very insignificant event in Ethan’s history. However, it’s just such moments of divine perspective over time and over issues great or small that bring to pass in our lives the Savior’s promise. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you …” (John 14:27)
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, March 14, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
“Lord, What Do You Think Is Best?” – Step 11 Personal Revelation
My algebra teacher was a bit of a character. He name was Mr. Michaelisco. I remember only three things about him: the plaid jacket he wore every day, his heavy rimmed glasses with extra thick lenses, and the fact that he was very unhelpful if we had questions during tests or quizzes. The answer to any and every question during such events was always the same. In a low monotone voice his response was, “Do whatever you think is best.”
From the time I was a little girl I was taught that this life is a test. I admit that I have been tempted to imagine my Heavenly Teachers giving me the same answer as Mr. Michaelisco when I ask questions in the middle of “the test.” “Do whatever you think is best, Nannette”
Today I’m learning that God’s exercises, quizzes, and tests are not the quickly made, quickly graded, true-false, or multiple-choice variety. Each test is perfectly created with my individual progress in mind. I am also learning that the point of the Lord’s tests is not to see what I can figure out by myself. Each test is open book, open heart, and open notes. And each test is administered by a God who loves nothing more than to discuss the answers with me, right in the middle of the test. In fact, the question He most loves to hear is, “Lord, what do You think is best?”
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, March 12, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
From the time I was a little girl I was taught that this life is a test. I admit that I have been tempted to imagine my Heavenly Teachers giving me the same answer as Mr. Michaelisco when I ask questions in the middle of “the test.” “Do whatever you think is best, Nannette”
Today I’m learning that God’s exercises, quizzes, and tests are not the quickly made, quickly graded, true-false, or multiple-choice variety. Each test is perfectly created with my individual progress in mind. I am also learning that the point of the Lord’s tests is not to see what I can figure out by myself. Each test is open book, open heart, and open notes. And each test is administered by a God who loves nothing more than to discuss the answers with me, right in the middle of the test. In fact, the question He most loves to hear is, “Lord, what do You think is best?”
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, March 12, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, March 9, 2009
10th Step Symptoms – It’s Not Rocket Science
Madeline, age five, was outside trimming leaves off the bushes with her little friends. They were within view of their mommies and were being allowed to use the kid scissors. One of the adults looking on saw Maddie open the scissors up and place them as though she was about to give herself a new and quite extreme hairdo. Before Maddie had a chance to take action on her long blond wavy locks the adult onlooker called out to Maddie’s mom. Maddie was immediately corrected. She took the scissors down from her hair, rolled her eyes as if to say, “just kidding mom” and went on playing.
One night, about five days later, after being put to bed Maddie wandered into her mommy’s room. She announced herself by saying, “We need to talk about something Mom.”
Her weary mother replied, “What do we need to talk about Maddie?”
“Well, I really was going to cut my hair that day and I’m feeling really bad about it in my heart and I can’t stop thinking about it in my head."
Step 10 challenges us to, “Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it.” Sometimes at the end of the day I’m not exactly sure what things need to be set right or what amends need to be made. Madeline’s words to her mother are instructive to me. It’s not rocket science. There are signs or symptoms that 10th Step work needs to be done. A symptom is, an indication, evidence, or a sign (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
All we really need to do each day is ask ourselves this question. “Is there anything that, ‘I’m feeling really bad about in my heart and I can’t stop thinking about in my head?’”
If so we can be assured that it is the work of the Holy Spirit. His work is to signal or reveal to us, in our minds and in our hearts our need to take care of business.
Thanks for being my teacher Madeline! You are five and this year I’ll be fifty-five. The only thing I can contribute to what you taught me is that neither of us has to go five days feeling bad in our heart and bothered in our mind. We can take a daily look at just what’s going on and then take immediate action.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, March 9, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
One night, about five days later, after being put to bed Maddie wandered into her mommy’s room. She announced herself by saying, “We need to talk about something Mom.”
Her weary mother replied, “What do we need to talk about Maddie?”
“Well, I really was going to cut my hair that day and I’m feeling really bad about it in my heart and I can’t stop thinking about it in my head."
Step 10 challenges us to, “Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it.” Sometimes at the end of the day I’m not exactly sure what things need to be set right or what amends need to be made. Madeline’s words to her mother are instructive to me. It’s not rocket science. There are signs or symptoms that 10th Step work needs to be done. A symptom is, an indication, evidence, or a sign (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
All we really need to do each day is ask ourselves this question. “Is there anything that, ‘I’m feeling really bad about in my heart and I can’t stop thinking about in my head?’”
If so we can be assured that it is the work of the Holy Spirit. His work is to signal or reveal to us, in our minds and in our hearts our need to take care of business.
Thanks for being my teacher Madeline! You are five and this year I’ll be fifty-five. The only thing I can contribute to what you taught me is that neither of us has to go five days feeling bad in our heart and bothered in our mind. We can take a daily look at just what’s going on and then take immediate action.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, March 9, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The Gold Records – Scripture Study
For Christmas this year I received a new piece of technology with a retro flair. It’s a combination radio, tape player, CD player/burner, and record player. For years I’ve had a stack of records in storage, waiting for their fate to be decided. Down to the family room they came this year, just in time for the holidays. It took me way back to listen to the Christmas albums that use to announce the arrival of the season when we were kids. (Tennessee Ernie Ford, Perry Como, Julie Andrews, Barbara Streisand, and of course Bing Crosby).
I couldn’t wait to play some of the old records for my grandkids. Surprisingly to me, none of them had ever seen a record before. “Is that a giant CD Grandma?” was the comment made several times. They were all quite fascinated as they gazed down into the phonograph and watched the record go round and round.
As I enjoyed my new fangled machine it sparked my memory of some other records I’d grown up with, records that have long since gone to the Deseret Industries. Family scripture study was a Sunday morning activity for my family. This dedicated time often involved the playing of a very impressive set of beautiful Gold Records. On Sunday mornings the nine of us would gather in the living room and listen to the Book of Mormon being read through the phonograph in a beautiful and most majestic manner.
The last time I remember having anything to do with the Gold Records was as a freshman at BYU. I had taken the freshman Book of Mormon class but failed to actually read the Book of Mormon. So the day before the final I went home and got the Gold Records and brought them back to Heritage Halls. I figured that if I listened night and day I could finish before the final exam. I remember being in my dorm room and putting on the first record. My first thought was, “This will never do!” The reading certainly was still majestic but it was far too slow for my goal. “I can fix this problem,” I thought. “I’ll just turn up the speed on the record player.” For the next many hours I listened to the Book of Mormon being read in the voice akin to Alvin the Chipmunk. I’m sure I accomplished my goal, which was to be able to answer honestly to my professor that I had read The Book, but it was far from being a spiritual experience. Although I was closer to getting a descent grade, I was no closer to God when I finished than I was when I began.
I’m sure I’m not entirely unique. Like many other members of the Church I grew up with plenty of opportunities to connect with the word of God. I knew all the stories in the Old and New Testaments. My parents conducted regular Family Nights. There were four years of Seminary and four years of religion at BYU, not to mention the Gold Records, but something was definitely missing!
I vividly remember the day and the experience that set in motion a change in me, and in my desire to really connect with the word of the Lord in scripture. I had become miserable over my struggle with compulsive eating. I had been introduced to the 12 Steps as a way to come unto Christ and receive the help I so desperately needed. This way of life, this manner of living the Gospel promised to help me solve a problem that had baffled me for decades.
One Sunday I was sitting in Relief Society and my attention drifted from the teacher to the picture on the wall next to the blackboard. It was the picture of Mary and Martha, the one where Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus devouring His words to her, while Martha looks on in frustration. Thinking of Mary, I directed this thought toward Heaven. “I want to be like her Lord.” Deep inside I knew that in order to make any lasting change I needed to be like her. I needed to love the word of God more than anything or any one else. To my surprise, my divinely directed desire was greeted with a return feeling. If I were to put the feeling in word they would be, “Nannette, developing this kind of Mary-like, loving communication with the Lord is a very real possibility. The scriptures are the key”
I went to the office supply store and purchased 12-colored pencils, one for each of the 12 gospel principles represented by the steps. I took my new scriptures, the ones I had never marked, because I was afraid I might do it wrong and mess them up, and I began to color them for the steps that promised to change me. In my journal I recorded what the verses or the stories had to do with me and my life and the personal application of the 12 Steps. I did this day after day and as I did I began to change.
It doesn’t seem to matter how shiny the Gold Records are, or how majestically each verse is read, or how dressed up and leather bound our scriptures are. It doesn’t seem to matter whether we have Internet, I pod, MP3 or Palm pilot scripture capability or how many bells and whistles we have at our finger tips to help us reference and cross reference. The scriptures become new life to us only when they get inside us and wrap themselves around every aspect of our lives. The only completely reliable technology for that operation is the working of the Spirit of the Lord.
This miracle happened in my life when I became needy enough to want to devour the scriptures for myself. They finally penetrated my heart, and my life has been greatly blessed. Somehow those shiny Gold Records got inside of me, and when they did I became a different person than the girl who was satisfied to listen to the Book of Mormon at high speed for a grade.
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, March 5, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I couldn’t wait to play some of the old records for my grandkids. Surprisingly to me, none of them had ever seen a record before. “Is that a giant CD Grandma?” was the comment made several times. They were all quite fascinated as they gazed down into the phonograph and watched the record go round and round.
As I enjoyed my new fangled machine it sparked my memory of some other records I’d grown up with, records that have long since gone to the Deseret Industries. Family scripture study was a Sunday morning activity for my family. This dedicated time often involved the playing of a very impressive set of beautiful Gold Records. On Sunday mornings the nine of us would gather in the living room and listen to the Book of Mormon being read through the phonograph in a beautiful and most majestic manner.
The last time I remember having anything to do with the Gold Records was as a freshman at BYU. I had taken the freshman Book of Mormon class but failed to actually read the Book of Mormon. So the day before the final I went home and got the Gold Records and brought them back to Heritage Halls. I figured that if I listened night and day I could finish before the final exam. I remember being in my dorm room and putting on the first record. My first thought was, “This will never do!” The reading certainly was still majestic but it was far too slow for my goal. “I can fix this problem,” I thought. “I’ll just turn up the speed on the record player.” For the next many hours I listened to the Book of Mormon being read in the voice akin to Alvin the Chipmunk. I’m sure I accomplished my goal, which was to be able to answer honestly to my professor that I had read The Book, but it was far from being a spiritual experience. Although I was closer to getting a descent grade, I was no closer to God when I finished than I was when I began.
I’m sure I’m not entirely unique. Like many other members of the Church I grew up with plenty of opportunities to connect with the word of God. I knew all the stories in the Old and New Testaments. My parents conducted regular Family Nights. There were four years of Seminary and four years of religion at BYU, not to mention the Gold Records, but something was definitely missing!
I vividly remember the day and the experience that set in motion a change in me, and in my desire to really connect with the word of the Lord in scripture. I had become miserable over my struggle with compulsive eating. I had been introduced to the 12 Steps as a way to come unto Christ and receive the help I so desperately needed. This way of life, this manner of living the Gospel promised to help me solve a problem that had baffled me for decades.
One Sunday I was sitting in Relief Society and my attention drifted from the teacher to the picture on the wall next to the blackboard. It was the picture of Mary and Martha, the one where Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus devouring His words to her, while Martha looks on in frustration. Thinking of Mary, I directed this thought toward Heaven. “I want to be like her Lord.” Deep inside I knew that in order to make any lasting change I needed to be like her. I needed to love the word of God more than anything or any one else. To my surprise, my divinely directed desire was greeted with a return feeling. If I were to put the feeling in word they would be, “Nannette, developing this kind of Mary-like, loving communication with the Lord is a very real possibility. The scriptures are the key”
I went to the office supply store and purchased 12-colored pencils, one for each of the 12 gospel principles represented by the steps. I took my new scriptures, the ones I had never marked, because I was afraid I might do it wrong and mess them up, and I began to color them for the steps that promised to change me. In my journal I recorded what the verses or the stories had to do with me and my life and the personal application of the 12 Steps. I did this day after day and as I did I began to change.
It doesn’t seem to matter how shiny the Gold Records are, or how majestically each verse is read, or how dressed up and leather bound our scriptures are. It doesn’t seem to matter whether we have Internet, I pod, MP3 or Palm pilot scripture capability or how many bells and whistles we have at our finger tips to help us reference and cross reference. The scriptures become new life to us only when they get inside us and wrap themselves around every aspect of our lives. The only completely reliable technology for that operation is the working of the Spirit of the Lord.
This miracle happened in my life when I became needy enough to want to devour the scriptures for myself. They finally penetrated my heart, and my life has been greatly blessed. Somehow those shiny Gold Records got inside of me, and when they did I became a different person than the girl who was satisfied to listen to the Book of Mormon at high speed for a grade.
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, March 5, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Go Ahead and Wave Back, What Can It Hurt! – The Unanticipated Blessings of Taking Step 10
One of the great results of taking the first nine steps is our increased desire to care for our relationships with other people, today. We don’t want to let our wrongs, big or little, pile up again, and so we take care of them daily. Step 10 is about daily accountability. It says, “Continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong promptly admit it.”
The challenge to be accountable for our actions toward others, in twenty-four hour increments, affects more than our taking stock and taking action every evening. Our desire is to do some damage control along the way. The need to clean things up at the end of the day tends to make us more careful as we live the day. It actually makes a positive difference in every interaction we have along the way.
We find ourselves striving to keep our slate clean or to clean it as we go; seeking to understand as well as to be understood; striving to be honest and kind at the same time. We find ourselves wanting to contribute to the peace of this world, not wanting to make more messes or make messes worse.
This week I was reminded of one other tendency that seems to reduce the number of necessary daily amends. Sunday during our church service I sat next to my grandson, Jack. He was having a rather difficult time lasting through the meetings. His happiest moments were during the singing of the hymns. He brightened up, stopped squirming and fussing, and watched the chorister. She waved in time and he waved to her. My daughter whispered in my ear, “He thinks she’s being friendly and waving to him. He loves it and spends the whole song waving back.”
Immediately I recognized this scene as the illustration of another tendency we adopt after taking the first nine steps. Watching Jack find great joy in assuming he was being waved at reminded me that in anticipation of taking Step 10 we find ourselves simply wanting to assume the best about other people
In doing so we run the risk of looking as naive as my baby grandson, who thinks the Sacrament Meeting chorister is the friendliest person in the ward. Who knows, maybe she is! Assuming the best is rarely a liability and it keeps our list of daily amends on the short side. Just like Jack, I think I’m going to wave back!
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The challenge to be accountable for our actions toward others, in twenty-four hour increments, affects more than our taking stock and taking action every evening. Our desire is to do some damage control along the way. The need to clean things up at the end of the day tends to make us more careful as we live the day. It actually makes a positive difference in every interaction we have along the way.
We find ourselves striving to keep our slate clean or to clean it as we go; seeking to understand as well as to be understood; striving to be honest and kind at the same time. We find ourselves wanting to contribute to the peace of this world, not wanting to make more messes or make messes worse.
This week I was reminded of one other tendency that seems to reduce the number of necessary daily amends. Sunday during our church service I sat next to my grandson, Jack. He was having a rather difficult time lasting through the meetings. His happiest moments were during the singing of the hymns. He brightened up, stopped squirming and fussing, and watched the chorister. She waved in time and he waved to her. My daughter whispered in my ear, “He thinks she’s being friendly and waving to him. He loves it and spends the whole song waving back.”
Immediately I recognized this scene as the illustration of another tendency we adopt after taking the first nine steps. Watching Jack find great joy in assuming he was being waved at reminded me that in anticipation of taking Step 10 we find ourselves simply wanting to assume the best about other people
In doing so we run the risk of looking as naive as my baby grandson, who thinks the Sacrament Meeting chorister is the friendliest person in the ward. Who knows, maybe she is! Assuming the best is rarely a liability and it keeps our list of daily amends on the short side. Just like Jack, I think I’m going to wave back!
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
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