Monday, December 29, 2008

Walking Around With My Eyes Wide Open! – Having Had A Spiritual Awakening

My little redheaded firecracker grandchild Gracie went through a comical phase as she was perfecting that art of getting around in the upright position. Shortly after learning to walk this half-pint adventurer decided it wasn’t daring enough just to balance on two feet. So, she added the “fear factor” of toddling around with her eyes closed. All about the house she’d go, blind by choice, bumping into door jams and walls and anything that stood in her way. Sooner or later she’d run into something that would take her down. Then this little clown would open her eyes, look around to see which member of her family was watching, and giggle! Gracie’s primary motivation was to do something entertaining, something that would make her older siblings laugh – So innocent and at the same time potentially dangerous.

As I observed Gracie I was reminded of several things in connection with recovery and healing. First, addiction provides a way to move through life with our eyes closed. I know I was blinded by excessive focus on food in tandem with a devastating degree of self-consciousness over my obesity.

Next, the sightless world of addiction is self-imposed. Like Gracie, we willfully close our eyes. Often we do so with good reason. Our separation from the presence of God in combination with difficult life circumstances makes the perfect recipe for fear. And, if you’re like me, when you’re afraid the first thing you want to do is close your eyes.

Finally, watching Gracie reminded me of the truth that for many of us “closing our eyes” start out in our innocents. Longing for adventure, a need for a thrill, entertainment, a way to get attention – these are all common seemingly harmless beginnings of a condition that is self-destructive, and potentially lethal, spiritually and often physically.

It doesn’t matter how young or old we were when we decided to “close our eyes,” or what our motivation was, or how many times we’ve run into the wall. When we apply the 12 Steps to our lives we finally have the courage to proceed with our eyes open. We find the courage to walk through life with our world in full view. As we practice these 12 spiritual principles we finally come to know that Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit can literally be our constant companions. In the reality of Their light and Their fellowship we become willing to look at the hard things of life.

To our great surprise and wonder the miracle doesn’t end there. With our eyes open we are now privy to all the beautiful, wonderful, stunning, lovely, magnificent, miraculous, delightful, precious aspects of this God given life. We begin to take notice. Moments like the one I had watching a little redheaded firecracker walk around the house with her eyes closed are not blindly passed over. It’s a new world, a world of vision, a world of courage and a world of beauty. In daily fellowship with God, I can choose to walk around with my eyes wide open!

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 29, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

No Apologies Necessary! - Step 12 - Carrying the Message

On a crispy December morning the day after Christmas 2002 my 23-year-old son called at 10:05 am and asked to speak to my 14-year-old son. I took the portable phone with me. As I began the task of waking the sleeping stretched out man/child his older brother said over the phone, “Oh mom don’t wake him up. You’re not waking him up are you?” I replied, “You know, it’s OK if he gets up. It’s 10:00 in the morning!” I proceeded to wake my son so that he could receive a message from his older brother.

As I walked away and left the two of them to chat I thought about the fact that I don’t actually like to wake up sleeping people either. I’m obviously kind of a softie when it comes to letting people “sleep in.”

I’m a little timid about encouraging people to wake up spiritually too. Step 12 is the challenge to be a spiritual wake up call to our brothers and sisters. It says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.” The invitation to wake up is issued by the Lord and His servants throughout the scriptures. Here is just a sampling:

Awake, awake, stand up (2 Nephi 8:17)
Awake awake, put on thy strength (2 Nephi 8:24)
O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep (2 Nephi 1:13)
Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness (2 Nephi 1:23)
Awake, and hear the words which I shall tell thee; for behold, I am come to declare unto you the glad tidings of great joy (Mosiah 3:2-3)
…now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed (Romans 13:11)
…awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words (Alma 32:27)
Yea, let the cry go forth among all people: Awake and arise and go forth to meet the Bridegroom; behold and lo, the Bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. Prepare yourselves for the great day of the Lord. (D&C 133:10)

As I proceed with the work of “carrying the message,” and inviting people to “get out of bed” spiritually speaking, I sometimes feel a little bad about interrupting their sleep. So why am I timid? Maybe it’s because I know that while being and remaining spiritually awake is very rewarding, it is also full of challenges.

Perhaps the things we need to take into account are the same things I considered the December morning I woke my young son to speak with his older brother. It’s getting late in the day - historically speaking. The message we bring is not our own. It is a message from our Older Brother. We should not feel sorry about waking up our heavenly siblings. We are waking them up to the personal love, direction and power of Jesus Christ and for the work of the Atonement in their lives. We are waking them up to Someone and for Something very wonderful. No apologies necessary!

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 26, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Re-Wrapping - Living In Gratitude

A friend of mine attended a Pre-Christmas, family party the other night where gifts were exchanged. Each person had the fun of unwrapping one gift from Santa. Her three-year-old little girl, Katie, along with all the little girl cousins received a Barbie Doll. At the close of the event Katie attentively carried the early present to the car and into the house, obviously pleased with her Christmas surprise. The next day my friend sat wrapping gifts in preparation for the big day ahead. As she wrapped Katie brought her the Barbie she’d received the night before and wanted it re-wrapped. After wrapping it again Katie placed it under the family tree. Throughout the wrapping time Katie disappeared time after time. Back and forth she went from the place in the house where her toys were kept, to the place where her mom was wrapping. Each time she brought with her something she had been given in the past to be re-wrapped and placed under the tree.

Being only three, I’m sure Katie was simply taken with the whole wrapping/unwrapping process and excitement, but for Katie’s mommy this little exercise was the inspiration for a very poignant thought about herself and the gifts she has received from God. She shared with me that she wished she could take all the gifts she had ever received from the Lord and wrap them up and place them under the tree.

While it’s true that part of the Christmas Spirit is being grateful for everything we unwrap on Christmas day, Katie had it right! In her own childlike way, she demonstrated her appreciation for all she has ever received in the past.

What a wonderful picture. When I live “in gratitude” it’s like taking notice of God’s daily gifts, re-wrapping them and placing them one at a time under the Christmas tree. Every gift I receive is in direct connection with the birth and life and death of Jesus Christ. It all belongs under the Christmas tree - really. Like the three-year-old who found such delight in re-wrapping and revisiting her gifts we can re-wrap and open again and again with equal delight and to our hearts desire!

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 26, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve Instruction on Finding the Perfect Gift – Step 1, 2, 3, and Perfectionism

If I wasn’t “finishing up” at Target or All-A-Dollar or Kmart at 5:45 on Christmas Eve I guess the season wouldn’t be quite the same. One December 24, 2002 I was given the following insight. It has made a difference in every Christmas Eve thereafter.

Exhausted and touching on frantic, I completed my Christmas buying that year by going to three stores just as the 24th sun of December was setting, trying to find that perfect, within my budget, healthy (at the request of the children) stuff to stuff in the…(well you know). First, I flew in and out of some store with the word dollar in the name but obviously not geared for the authentic “I’ve got no money left” shopper! Then it was on to The Dollar Store with a big finish at Kmart.

I miraculously ended the Christmas shopping within budget, but as I pulled into the garage I had a sinking feeling that what I had purchased was just not right at all. I entered the kitchen, helloed everyone, turned on the Christmas music and declared that the Holiday could now begin. I noticed my daughters had removed the unfinished chicken, thankfully, from the crock-pot and put it into the ever-faithful oven “in hopes that the dinner soon would be there.” (Is that a line from a famous Christmas poem?)

As I stood at the sink working toward perfection in the kitchen, I pondered as I often do while cycling the dishes. “Just why Nannette, why is gift giving so completely unsettling to you? Why do you put off the thinking of, looking for, purchasing, wrapping and giving of gifts? Why are you so “anxietous” (a family word) over every phase of this activity? I’ll tell you why,” spoke the Messenger to my mind. “It’s because you always want to give the perfect gift, isn’t it. You want it to be just the right thing and there is never enough time or money or creativity or understanding to pull it off. That’s it, isn’t it?”

Then came the instruction. “Nannette, there is only one perfect gift and it will not matter how early you line up at Shopko the day after Thanksgiving or whether or not you have a wheel barrow full of money with which to fight off the crowds and pay at the register. You will not be able to buy it.

Your Heavenly Father already conceived of it and His first born and only begotten Son already volunteered to be it and it has been offered to every one on your Christmas list! So let go of the notion of reinventing the magnificent and allow your humble giving of the less than perfect to be a perfect reminder. Let it bring to your philanthropic heart and near empty hands the testimony that His gift is The Gift that makes up for all lesser offerings. There is no other gift beside Him. Allow the contrast to be a symbol of your humble station and His abundant, priceless, perfect present.

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Five

This is the forth and final part of a set of posts dedicated to looking for 12 Step principles taught through the people, events, and symbols of the story of the birth of Jesus Christ. Today we will look at The Journey to the Manger.

The Journey to the Manger – Steps 1, 2 and 3 “I can’t! He can! I think I’ll let Him!

“And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.” (Luke 1)

There seem to have been only a hand full of ancient people who took the journey to see the newborn King on that first Christmas night. The journey required of the rest of God’s children is not the journey to Bethlehem, but it is a journey to the King. Moroni describes our travel to the Lord as “coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him,” (see Moroni 10:32)

In early application of the 12 Steps the number one question in our minds is “I wonder how long this is going to take?” Many of us are convinced that the distance between Jesus and us is literally insurmountable.

My witness is that the journey to Him is not long. In fact is it’s as short as taking Steps 1, 2, and 3. Step 1 - I can’t. Step 2 - He (Jesus Christ) can! Step 3 - I think I’ll let Him. That’s the journey to Him, Our Heavenly King!

In the book Alcoholics Anonymous on page 58-59 we read, “Remember that we deal with alcohol -- cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power -- that one is God. May you find Him now!” We are invited by the recovering alcoholic to believe in the immediate availability of God.

Although the work of recovery is life long, I find that once I turn to Him, He joins me on the road. It’s really not so very far to “Bethlehem,” to that place where we meet up with Jesus. The imagined mile between the Lord and us shortens every time we admit our need and turn our minds and our hearts to Him for direction and power. Every time we do so we invite Him to be our traveling companion!

“May we find Him now!” That is my Christmas wish for all of us weather we struggle with addiction or with any other hardship mortality has to offer. Every day I have to let go once again of the fear and pride that reduce my speed, delay my progress, and keep Him at arms length, unable to work in my life. Our recovery, our healing, our progress on the road to Bethlehem and thereafter was His sole purpose in coming to earth that Christmas night so long ago. My work is to not stand in His way. You and I can take the trip to Bethlehem as we Admit Our Need and Turn Our Minds and Our Hearts To Him For Direction and Power.

Conclusion

As children acting out the nativity story on Christmas Eve our understanding is very limited, but we know by the way we feel that this story, this little drama we present is different from all others. It is later, when we have experienced much of mortality that we come to know that recovery, healing, and all progress are made possible through the Atoning sacrifice of this little baby in the manger bed. The elements that were closest to Him at His birth: Angel, Mary, Joseph, Stable, Shepherds, star, and Wise Men each teach us something we need to understand in order to fully receive the blessings of the life He gave for us.

The last several posts have been dedicated to likening the story of the birth of Jesus Christ unto ourselves and our application of the 12 Steps. I’m sure the things we might learn from the people, events and symbols of this story are endless. My thoughts on this subject are my Christmas gifts to each of you. I know the Holy Spirit delights to teach us of Him in all things. May our lives be filled with the blessing of personal, divine insight and all the blessings of Christmas!

Merry Merry Christmas to you all!

Nannette

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Four

This is the forth part of a set of posts dedicated to looking for 12 Step principles taught through the people, events, and symbols of the story of the birth of Jesus Christ. Today we will look at The Shepherds.

The Shepherds – Step 11 Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour which is Christ the Lord…” (Luke 1)

The angelic words to the Christmas Shepherds that stand out to me are, “For unto you is born this day…” It is in the fields with the sheep and their caretakers that we learn that God sends angels to ordinary people like you and me.

When we are new and so imperfect at applying the 12 Steps most of us are filled with amazement, even shocked at feel the presence, love, direction and power of the Lord in our lives. Quoting from one who has struggled much: “Could this feeling I feel possible be the Light of Christ or the Holy Ghost? I haven’t been to Church or prayed or read the scriptures in years. I’ve done so many things I’m ashamed of. I know I must be a complete disappointment to God. But this feeling I have in my heart is so hopeful! What is it?”

Those who have been where we are and have worked hard to “live in recovery” by applying these principles help us begin to understand. They share with us that this feeling we are experiencing is the result of the Lord’s desire to help us and evidence that He is at work in our hearts and in our lives. After we have begun to feel His love and see His hand the great challenge is to continue to believe and receive. I find I have to consciously push away the doubt that threatens my ability to act on my newfound connection with divine help.

The shepherds are the symbol and sweet reminder of God’s very real interest in ordinary people. I’m so grateful they didn’t doubt their own experience. They didn’t stand around after the angels departed saying, “Wait a minute! This kind of thing doesn’t happen to shepherds?” No, they sought out the Christ child. The scriptures say they went with hast. I must seek Him too, and immediately, no matter how ordinary or unfit I think I am, because the Lord reveals himself to shepherd and other ordinary people such as myself. You and I can be like the Shepherds as we Do Not Doubt and Go With Hast!

Wise Men – All Steps

“When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh.” (Matthew 2)

These earthly kings offer their riches to the Christ. That’s what I wish I could take to Jesus too, things that are beautiful, all shined up and smelling lovely. But He asks me to offer my whole soul. Some of that package isn’t very pretty. He asks me to offer Him my sins as well as my talents. Will I offer Him the best I have along with the worst? Will I offer Him all I have, all I am? He says He is like a refiners fire and can turn me into gold. To the Lord, you and I are the most important gold in the universe, gold in the making, gold in process. You and I can be like the Wise Men as we Offer Our Whole Souls As An Offering Unto Him!

Tomorrow the conclusion of this series.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 22, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Three

This is the third part of a set of posts dedicated to looking for 12 Step principles taught through the people, events, and symbols of the story of the birth of Christ. Today we will look at The Stable and The Star.

The Stable – Step 7 Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove you shortcomings.

There was no room for Joseph and Mary in the Inn and so they found refuge in a stable. Sometimes my heart feels like a stable, not nearly clean enough, pure enough to provide a dwelling place for the Son of God! Am I humble enough to invite Him in anyway, with my heart in disarray, so cluttered and imperfect? I find myself filled with embarrassment at the thought! “Please, just give me a little more time and maybe I can get my heart all spruced up and ready for divine occupancy!”

But try as I may I can’t do it. It’s a job beyond my single-handed mortal ability. Will I invite the Son of God to come in and dirty His perfectly clean hands with the work of my salvation. Will I allow the Lord to empty my heart of all the things that crowd Him out, the things that are “outside of Him,” all the lesser things I have come to depend on, instead of Him? You and I can be like the humble stable as we Let Him In!

The Star – Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.

“… behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem… and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.” (Matthew 2)

If there was a star in the heavens with my name on it and it hung over and illuminated the principle object of my love and worship (the thing of greatest importance to me) would it be a Christmas star? Would it shine on the Jesus Christ? Would it illuminate His live and His mission? Would it serve those who are lost and weary? Would it point others toward Him? You and I can be like the star as we Point The Way!

Tomorrow we’ll visit the Shepherds.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, December 21, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Two

It was a great experience to look at the people, events, and symbols of the Christmas Story with the 12 Steps in mind. I share these thoughts with you knowing that this is just a sampling of many possible impressions. These were the things that came to me…

The Angel Gabriel - Step 12 Carrying the Message

The first individual to speak in the Christmas story is the Angel Gabriel. Addressing Mary he said, “…the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women… Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest…” (Luke 1)

The message we are called to carry to those who suffer on this earth is not unlike the Angel Gabriel’s message to Mary. The message is that the Lord loves us. He desires to be with us. We don’t need to be afraid, and we each have a unique work to do on the earth. You and I can be like Gabriel. As we Carry the Message!

Mary – Step 3 Turning my life and will over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ

Mary’s reply to the Angel Gabriel was, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1). Mary is the picture of complete surrender to the will God.

Her submissive reply causes me to inventory my own response when the Lord requires hard things of me? I wish it were always, “be it unto me according to they word,” but it’s not. Today I know I can practice being the handmaid of the Lord one day at a time, one hour at a time. You and I can be like Mary as we grow in the ability to Trust Him Absolutely!

Joseph – Step 11 Seeking through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out

When Joseph takes Mary as his wife he is literally saying, “I care for my Heavenly Father and his plan more that I care for any earthly honor. I will be shamed in a way that will affect the rest of my life, but my life is His and I will do His will.”

Joseph surrenders his reputation and literally becomes the hands of his Heavenly Father in the earthly care of His divine Son. Am I willing to be the hands of God no matter what the cost? You and I can be like Joseph as we become willing to Bear the Shame of the World!

The Inn – Step 6 Change of Heart – Become willing to have God remove all you character weaknesses.

As Joseph searched for shelter these words are recorded. “There was no room for them in the inn.” I always feel so sad at this part of the story. I just know I would have given them my room if I’d had the opportunity.

Although I wasn’t there, the opportunity to provide a dwelling place for the Lord is still very much available. The room He has asked me to give Him is my heart. That’s the place He longs to dwell in today. He can only “move in” with my permission, at my invitation. As the words in “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” say “Where meek souls will receive Him still, the Dear Christ enters in.” You and I can be willing to Make Room for Him Today!

As you can see this exercises seems to lead to personal inventory. Tomorrow we will look at the stable, the shepherds, the star, and the wise men.

By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, December 19, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part One

For many years we re-enacted the Christmas Story at my mother’s house. As young girls my sister and I traded off taking the part of Mary, the Angel, or a shepherd and my brothers filled in all the male roles. Being the oldest I was the narrator for several years.

During my motherhood years I didn’t usually take a part, but every year, on Christmas Eve about the time all the other adults had collapsed on sofas and in chairs, being overcome with preparation and food, my sister and I called all the cousins into Grandma’s bedroom and we costumed for the Nativity Scene.

“Mom, my shepherd hat won’t stay on!”
“You were the wise man last year, give me grandma’s jewelry!”
“Where’s Uncle _____ robe?”
“Sheets, we need more sheets.”

My mother totally left this preparation (which was always more dramatic that the presentation itself) to my sister and I. I’m sure she determined that she had put in enough time as director of this yearly pageant. I doubt if she enjoyed her retirement, as she heard the sound of 15+ children in her bedroom fighting over her beads and robes and rummaging through her drawers for this or that important prop.

The issue of who was to take the role of baby Jesus was usually pretty clear-cut, but one year we had to line up four baskets, two baby boys, and a set of twin girls. We even tried to involve some of the adult men, uncles taking the part of camels and donkeys.

Today the tradition lives on, only now it’s my jewelry and towels and robes they’re using. I’m the Grandma who allows her daughters to opportunity to do the directing.

This yearly event gives each of us a few minutes to pretend we are there. Christmas time seems to shorten the years that have lapsed since the adult audience actually participated as part of the cast. Our childlike love for the pageant is easily accessed. For a few short minutes we have relived more that just a story. The thousands of miles and years that separate us from them, those ancient ones, are diminished.

But alas the Christ-child story and the evening must come to a close. The signs are always clear. The baby Jesus starts to cry because he or she just can’t lie there and be that good any longer, a strand of Grandma’s favorite beads breaks, someone’s costume completely falls apart, or one of the uncles who has been playing the part of a camel realizes that he may never walk upright again. We quickly sing one verse of “Silent Night” and then spend the next hour folding up towels and sheets and hanging up robes and searching for Grandma’s lost jewelry.

The magic of that night 2000 years ago is suddenly filled up with thoughts of getting home, hanging up stockings, and wrapping one last gift. We wonder if 7-11 sells anything that will do for neighbors we barely know who just dropped off a beef-jerky stick, assorted cheeses, and a bag full of homemade caramel popcorn balls. And finally, there is the fear that Santa might leave something that requires assembly.

The family nativity tradition has been revisited one more year. The children are satisfied; the childhood within each of us is satisfied. Now we can move forward with other traditions, feeling good about giving a prominent place to the true meaning of Christmas. We have reminded the children of the most wondrous people, events, and symbols in the history of man. This is a wonderful gift from us to our children, and from them to us (looking back and for a few minutes, placing ourselves in the middle of The Central Event of All History).

Re-enacting of the Christmas Story while mom or dad reads the scriptural rendition is often our earliest and most basic experience of likening the scriptures unto ourselves. Learning to “liken,” the scriptures unto myself, as Nephi calls it, has been a huge blessing in my life and in my recovery. Without fail the principles I am taught as I study correspond with the Gospel centered principles represented by the 12 Steps.

As grownups we don’t dress up like those ancients, in our daily scripture study, in order to learn from their experience. Instead we place ourselves figuratively in their shoes, and we consider the principles that are being taught from their experience. Then we seek the blessing of knowing through the Spirit how their experience applies to our own and how we might act on that understanding.

The verses telling of the birth of Jesus Christ represent the world’s most widely known set of scriptures. I wonder if God planned that such a universally known story might hold value for likening and learning for us.

What can I learn from the Christmas Story that might enlighten and inspire my application of the 12 Steps today? Over the next few days I would like to share some of the thoughts I have had about the people, events, and symbols of the Christmas Story and how they can be seen through the eyes of recovery.

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Our “Gratitudes” and Our Prayers – The Tools of Recovery

The family van rounded the corner moving towards home. Christmas fun and celebration at the Dickens’ Festival had come to a close. The car was filled with sounds of three “over-Christmas-ed” kids. My daughter (the mother) turned the radio up one more notch, but the children could not be out done or quieted even by Burl Ives and one more round of “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!” It was a car full of tired kids, not to mention the tired parents.

“When we get home we need to hurry really fast, have a snack and get into bed,” announced the Mother hopefully.

She anticipated that in less that twenty minutes time maybe, just maybe her three under six would be “nestled all snug in their wee little beds.” Never mind the “visions of sugar plums dancing in wee heads” as long as they get into bed and stay there!

Her plans were to be amended though. A voice of sanity came from the back of the car, from the car seat of the little blond boy with blue eyes that fade with the day. “But mom we need to remember to say our “gratitudes” and our prayers.”

Sometimes I’m tempted to allow my “dailies,” my daily traditions to fly out the window to make room for all the Christmas traditions. In my daughter’s home, every night before bed the family gathers. They go around and each family member shares something they are grateful for. Then they have a prayer together as a family. Finally each child kneels and speaks personally to Heavenly Father, the little ones with the help of a parent.

On tired long days this daily ritual may not seem time effective or energy efficient, but it is the most important tradition of all, beyond trees and lights and packages and Christmas lists. Even a three year old knows that.

After my “jamies” are on and I unplug the tree and switch off the lights that dawn our house, I want to remember the one critical tradition, the one that even a three year old knows is vital to the completion of the day. When I’m tempted to fall into bed may I hear the echo of a little voice saying, ““But Grandma, we need to remember to say our “gratitudes” and our prayers.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

“Am I Hungry Or Do I Just Want A Treat? Hmmm?” - Abstinence

This post is all about my experience, and others may not relate at all. Take what you like and leave the rest. I am sharing this thought to help myself, and others who do relate.

Tonight I have three separate Christmas parties to attend; all of them involve my drug of choice, food. No matter what our drug of choice, holidays always challenge my commitment to live in recovery, clean and sober. Again, I am very aware that there are many people in the world who are able to eat in moderation and with sanity. I am not.

One night after pajamas were on, teeth brushed, and story read, I over heard the following conversation between Sammy and her dad:

“Daddy, I’m hungry!” Sammy announced as she was being carried off to bed.
“Would you like a bowl of cereal?” Daddy asked.
Sammy replied, “No daddy, not that…something good!
Daddy responded, “Are you hungry Sam, or do you just want a treat?”

The thought immediately came to my mind, “Nannette, that’s a good question to ask yourself whenever the desire to eat comes up or the opportunity to eat comes along.”

I looked up the word “treat.” You knew I would! I laughed when I saw that one of the synonyms was “morsel.”

“What?” I said, “But a morsel is just a little bit!”

“Exactly, Nannette!”

I guess that for many people having a treat is having a little taste of something. For me the, “I’ll just have a little bit, thanks” or “Please cut my piece in half,” sets me up for a wrestle with cravings and a battle with the Adversary that is simply not worth the taste. For me, having a little is never the solution for wanting a lot.

Often as I visit with other people who struggle with unhealthy eating patterns I am asked if I think the Lord could extend to them the blessing the moderation with treats (those nutritiously empty calorie foods we consume for pure pleasure). I suppose the answer would have to be “yes.” The Lord can do anything that is for our best good. But moderation with what we term “junk food” in today’s society is a gift He has not given me. Although I have experienced years of the gift of abstinence, I have never experienced any lasting success in receiving the gift of moderation when it come to treats.

Every once in a while I have given the moderation in “all things” challenge a shot. An alcoholic, “living in recovery” calls this, “The Grand Experiment.” These are the thoughts I recorded in my journal after one such experimental spree:

“After eighteen years experience applying the principles of recovery I experienced some uncontrolled eating in connection with a party tonight. I’m not sure what to think? Was it relapse or was it recovery? Let’s see…my eating was filled with dishonest optimism…. “I’m only going to have a taste,” with the backup justification, “This is a celebration!” Any addict with more that thirty minutes of clean time would call this, “Stinkin’ Thinkin!” I certainly did not stop with a polite taste. It interrupted my peace. In fact, it contributed to my “un-peace.” Is un-peace over unhealthy eating choices something to recover from? It seems to be completely unhelpful for me to think of poor eating as some kind of recovery. The addict/alcoholic in recovery would tell me that to recover from addiction by learning to use in moderation has never ever been an effective path to recovery. In fact, striving for moderation in an area where one is truly addicted is a sweeping gateway toward relapse no matter what the addiction.

Addiction is triggered by an activity or substance that incites craving and unrest in the user. And while it’s true that alcoholics still drink something, over spenders still spend, and overeaters still eat. In recovery we do not drink, spend, or eat that which knocks at the door and threatens our sanity.

I’m sure that science and psychology have volumes of response to the feelings I have expressed. But for me, for today, I am going to stick with what’s working – abstaining under the direction and with the power of the Lord. I don’t do well with treats. I don’t want just a morsel. Living this way has blessed me with a ninety pound sustained weight loss, with greater serenity than I have ever known, and with a relationship with Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ I never dreamed possible. Hats off to all those “Oh I just couldn’t eat an other bite” folks, and I know there are many. I’m not one of them. As for me, when it comes to certain foods, having a little is never the solution for wanting a lot.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, December 14, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Fit Us For Heaven” – Step 7

My favorite Christmas Carol is “Away In A Manger.” I smile as I look at the Hymnbook for the name of the one who penned these words. “Anonymous” it says - of course. I love the third verse. It expresses perfectly my Christmas wish, my Christmas prayer:

“Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
And fit us for heaven, to live with Thee there.”
(Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 206)

My favorite word is in the last line. It’s the word “fit.” This verse is a prayerful invitation to the Lord to “fit” us for heaven. “To fit” means, “To make ready in advance, to prepare” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). It’s a humble appeal to the Lord to make us ready and to prepare us in every way for Eternal Life.

I am so grateful to understand that I’m not left to myself with the work of becoming “fit” for heaven and the preparation necessary to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ forever. Now that I know this truth for myself I see it taught everywhere, even in this humble little carol. My work is to nourish my desire to be “fitted” by Him so I might live with Him. Then I must draw near to Him in humble need, as represented by the words, “Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care.” With this prayer I give the Lord permission and make Him free to do all the ”fitting” necessary.

By Nannette W.
Posted, Friday, December 12, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

His “Master-piece!” Steps 1,2, and 3

Outside my fifth grade classroom door, in the hall, there was a glass case on the wall dedicated to showing off exceptional work from students in our room. Every Friday afternoon was devoted to “art” and after our projects were completed the very best were selected, placed in the glass case, and displayed before the entire student body. I don’t remember feeling one way or another about my apparent lack of talent until the end of my fifth grade year.

It was Friday afternoon. We had just finished a still life painting of a pot of flowers. The bell was about the ring when the teacher asked this question. “Which of you have not had a piece of art displayed in the hall this year. Five mortified ten year olds raised their hands. I was one of them. “I would like each of you to call home and tell your parents you will be staying after school to work on your art.”

There I sat at my little desk staring down at the Friday afternoon art project I thought I had finished. Apparently my attempt at capturing the pot of flowers in “still life,” on paper was not acceptable. I kept hoping that my teacher would bring me a clean piece of paper and that I could start fresh, but this was not her plan. For at least an hour I worked over my painting, trying to please my teacher and somehow make my picture worthy to be hung in the hall. The more I painted the worse it got. As the reds and yellows turned to brown I applied more paint hoping to cover up the mess. I worked so long that even the “mat,” which is the top layer of special art paper, started to lift. To my total dismay, mixed in with my paint were little balls of paper. I was half relieved and half mortified when the teacher finally announced that our opportunity to improve our picture was over and that we would find these pictures in the classroom display case on Monday morning. This experience definitely solidified my decision not to continue any further elective study of art. It also created an indelible memory of my seemingly insensitive teacher.

Although memories of the past interactions with grownups (teachers, parents, bosses, ecclesiastical leaders etc.) do not always represent the truth they can sometimes influence our current perceptions of those in authority. Sometimes our past experience affects the way we view God.

The first key to making progress in the area of need that brought us to a 12 Step application of Gospel principles is honesty about our inability to make lasting progress on our own. The second key is to develop hope that God can and will help us. Many of us grew up believing that God would help us with only certain kinds of things. I was of the understanding (or misunderstanding) that like my fifth grade teacher, He was surely disappointed in me, not as an artist of course, but as a person, and that He expected me to clean up and clear up all messes of my own making. Obviously this belief would never lead me to take my struggle with compulsive/addictive behavior to Heavenly Father and to His Son. My perception was that they would help me with “good girl” problems, like having and earache, loosing my keys, or remembering something I had spent hours learning. On the other hand, those struggles that represented my weaknesses or out right sins were up to me to take care of. I was to fix myself so I would be worthy of their love and acceptance.

Like the ten year who old worked over that painted pot of flowers, watching the beautiful colors turn more brown with every stroke, seeing it go from bad to worse until the paper nearly came apart, I worked on my self destructive behaviors until my heart for “self” improvement was broken. There were two options set before me. I could give up, or I could experiment with the idea that God is all loving, all knowing, and all-powerful and that His desire is to extend to me all the love, direction, and power necessary to clean up all messes of my own making.

I chose to practice believing in this very personal loving powerful God and to keep my eyes open for evidence of the reality of such a Being. Today I can testify of His reality. He does not resemble my fifth grade teacher (or my perception of her), bless her soul. He was willing to sacrifice His life for my success.

If we allow Jesus Christ to be the Master, He has all the paper, paint, and patience it will take to help us produce a Masterpiece! A “Master-piece” is anything we are able to do or create or become through the enabling power of our Master. And in the end we will find that His work and glory has been to make you and I His “Master-piece!”

By Nannette W.
Posted, Thursday, December 11, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

“An Effectual Struggle” - 12 Step Work

In all scripture the word “delivered” appears 939 times. I have come to understand that the scriptures, and specifically the Book of Mormon, are the Lord’s handbook of instructions for being delivered from captivity, from bondage of any kind, through His power. The Book of Mormon is the handbook for being released from the bondage of compulsive and addictive behavior. It is the most powerful recovery literature on the earth.

Early in my recovery experience I purchased a new copy of the Book of Mormon and 12 colored pencils and began to underline my scriptures for the 12 Steps. My study became delightful as the Spirit helped me see that the principles represented by the steps are taught on every page of the Book of Mormon.

I love the following verse. These are the words of Limhi to his people. They are people who have done things that have resulted in debilitating bondage. Because of the loss of their freedom and the severity of their conditions they finally humble themselves before the Lord. This is different than just being miserable, sad, and angry. The Lord responds and sends Ammon to fortify them with Gospel truth and direction that will eventually result in their being delivered out of the hands of their enemy.

These are Limhi’s words to his people as he gathers them together with newfound hope:
“…O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made”. (Mosiah 7:18)

I can’t say it any better that Limhi, so I take the liberty of taking his instruction to his enslaved people for myself: “Lift up your head and be comforted Nannette. The time is not far distant when you will not be in subjection to the enemy of compulsive/addictive behavior. Much of your past struggle has been in vain, “of no value, unsuccessful, conceited” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Your successes have been short lived at best.”

Limhi closes this verse by telling his people that there will be struggle ahead, but that this time the struggle will not be in vain. This time, their struggle, their work will be “effectual.” The word “effectual” means “producing or capable of producing desired results, effective, or efficient” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). What a wonderful promise.

When recovery WORK gets challenging I take heart from the words of Limhi, “…yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made.” A struggle - Yes! Work - Yes! But, this time will be different. This time my work, my struggle will be effective. It will bring freedom from the tyranny of addiction. 12 Step work is an “EFFECTUAL” struggle!

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 8, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Sledding with Sammy – Surprise! – Step 3 & 11

Sledding down the hill at the elementary school park with the “Grands” might be the extent of my winter games as a Grandma, but there is something potentially youthful and energizing about being the willing grandma of a three year old. This is for those of you who wish there was Christmas snow on the ground.

Last season Sammy and her mom were about played-out by the time I surrendered to their earlier invitation and put on my boots and coat, and ventured to the park to see if they were still enjoying the newly fallen snow. I found them heading home. They had gone down the hill numerous times and played together on all the playground equipment as though it were a summer day. But upon seeing me, Sammy was willing to give Grandma Nan the thrill of a few tandem runs down the little snow-packed rise her daddy had gone down a hundred times as a little kid. I had forgotten my gloves, and her little mittens were, by now, caked with ice, so we couldn’t stay long. We trudged up together, falling and laughing, and we sat nervously together anticipating the ride, and then we screamed with delight as we slid to the bottom. As I walked into the park I thought that I was doing Sammy a service. I was wrong. I think the few minutes of winter magic were indeed a present to me.

I tend to be more comfortable when life is routine, when there are no surprises. That’s one of the reasons I struggle with the advice to turn my life and will over the care of God. I have an inkling that God is like Sammy, and that He is going to invite me to go sledding, or something equal to or even more unusual and adventurous.

I think children must be God’s initiation bearers, into the world of the divine unknown. They break into our “adultish” routine and invite us to experiment with surprise, with hidden treasure, to brave the discomfort of the cold and the frozen in hopeful anticipation of upcoming delight. I’m grateful He sends children to prepare His way. I pray for the courage it takes to participate with these little adventurers. There is something about being with them that makes me want to be more like them, more willing to trust in Heaven’s care and simply enjoy the thrill not knowing.

By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, December 6, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

“______ ! The Herald Angels Sing” – Step 11 - Personal Revelation

Ethan, at age five, had his own version of the traditional Christmas Carol, “Hark, The Herald Angles Sing.” I find his rendition instructive any time of year. As he could not relate in any way to the word “Hark,” he filled in with a word that rhymed and also made perfect sense to him. Ethan simply exchanged the word “Hark” for the word “Park,” For Ethan, the Christmas Carol instructions, delivered in the opening line of the song were as follows, “Park, The Herald Angels Sing!”

My thought after catching his word substitution was, “Ethan, that’s brilliant! I can’t possibly “HARK” unless I slow down and quiet down and ‘PARK!’” The word “hark” is to akin the word we are familiar with in scripture, “hearken.” It means to “listen with careful responsive attention” (Merriam Webster Dictionary)

Some days I am so busy and distracted I don’t stop long enough to connect with the quiet, simple, daily manifestations of angelic assistance. If my heart is not full of “Glory to the new born King” maybe I need to stop a while, to PARK on my knees, or with my scriptures, or my journal, in an easy chair with sweet music playing in the background and prepare to give attention to and receive the tender help of His holy angels who are round about me and sent to bear me up. (D&C 84:88) “Park! The Herald Angels Still Sing.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Just Who Is On That “Naughty List?”

Eliza reminds me of myself sometimes. She’s the oldest grandchild on both sides of her family, very serious and quite responsible, as first children tend to be. She’s the “other mother” in her family, because from the view of the oldest child, one mother is never quite enough to keep everything and everyone in line, and who makes a better candidate for the “other mother” position than the oldest sister? I understand perfectly, Eliza!

One evening, just before Christmas one year, Eliza and Ethan were working on a project at my kitchen table. I had Christmas music playing in the background and they were singing along to the songs that were familiar to them.

In the middle of a song they both obviously found quite silly, Ethan laughed and hollered out, “Hey Liza, what if we really saw mommy kissing Santa Clause?”

Eliza’s all knowing response was, “She’d be on the Naughty List!”

So often I think I have things all figured out too, only to find later that I am missing a critical part of the picture. In recovery we often talk about the importance of being “honest, open minded, and willing.” These qualities are the humble path we take that allows the Lord to fill in missing information and replace false perceptions with truth that is critical to our progress. The “ah-ha” moments that come when we are honest before the Lord and open to His mind and His will are priceless.

I imagine I am being observed by the Spiritually more mature in Heaven and on the earth. I’m sure some of my childish perceptions must bring a shake of the head and knowing smile to their lips. Their reaction is probably very similar to my own. As my Grandchildren discussed the placement of their Mother on the “Naughty List” (should she ever fall and give Santa a kiss), I had every hope that in time their perception would change.

Today, even though I am the oldest child on all sides, I’m OK with not knowing everything. In recovery we “come to know” and we “come to believe.” Progress is a process, not an event. I am learning to welcome any change in perception that helps me grow. It makes every new day an adventure!

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 1, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.