The other day my kids were joking around, thanking me with a little sarcastic good-humor for all the days they finished the school hours with, “that batch of chocolate chip cookies you always had baking in the oven.” They were kidding of course. My struggle with food addiction and all the bad press about sugar and children kept me from doing much baking.
Now I’m the Grandma of ten treat loving children and I do understand the fun of having something to share with them. However, the only homemade goodies at this grandma’s house are the ones their parents bring to Sunday dinner, or birthdays, or game nights. The sweets I personally keep in stock for “the Grands” are Fruit Snacks. They meet three important criteria. They don’t tempt me, they don’t make a mess, and the kids love them.
There are a few rules the children have come to understand about Grandma’s Fruit Snacks:
Lesson #1 The first rule is that the Fruit Snacks are a gift from Grandma and they are passed out spontaneously by Grandma or else given upon request by Grandma. Initially I kept the box full of the gummy treats in a place where little hands could reach, and reach they did. Now I keep them up high so the children cannot easily help themselves. I want them to know that they are a little present from me to them, not just something they can take, and take for granted, but something a little special. They all know exactly where they’re kept though, and every so often one of the little bandits drags a chair over to the cupboard, climbs up, and grabs a pack plus a few extras to pass out to the rest of the visiting siblings and cousins. That’s a no no!
Lesson #2 The second rule is that it’s not enough to simply remember the “ask first” rule. There’s the little matter of how you ask and when you ask. Fruit Snacks are not passed out to children who are grumpy, demanding, impatient, or who make an untimely request- before dinner, during dinner, or on the heels of some other family treat. Attitude and timing are definite considerations.
As you know by now I think it’s very instructive to watch and participate in earthly parenting and grand parenting and at the same time think about myself, a child of Heavenly Parents. I believe that with regard to Heavenly Father’s gifts the Fruit Snack rules also apply. Everything that’s good and good for me comes from God. Some things are given spontaneously without even asking and some are given by way of request. “Nannette” I can imagine Him saying, “There are many things in life I want to bless you with. I have placed them just out of reach. The solution is not to figuratively drag a chair to My shelf marked ‘for Nannette’ and then help yourself. Remember, ‘Ask and ye shall receive.’”
Next there’s the important matter of how to ask God. I am coming to understand that I can do the asking/seeking part and still miss the mark. Earthly parents work very hard to teach children the proper attitude for receiving assistance. When approached for help by a demanding, bossy, whiny child who wishes to be in charge of all the details, we have all been heard to say, “Now wait a minute. Maybe you need to think of a better way to ask. I think you’d better fix your attitude. Try that again.” Going to our Heavenly Father to have needs met is no different. I have to go to Him in humility, knowing that He knows best. I have to allow Him to set the terms. I have felt Him say to me at times, “Excuse me, could you think of a better way to ask?”
One of my daughters called me yesterday to tell me how things were going in her world with three children under six. “So mom, Jack is SO naughty! This morning while I was in folding laundry he went into the kitchen, pulled a chair over to the counter, and climbed up onto the counter. When I found him he was slathered in butter. The cube of butter was covered with little finger marks and the knobs of the kitchen sink faucet were all greasy. Apparently he’d tried to clean himself up by himself.” He's just 22-months-old and when she found him covered in butter all he could say is, “Ooooooh.”
My other daughter shares that 18-month-old Esters recently had her eyes on the cookies stored atop the kitchen cupboards in the little space between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling. To her mother’s horror Esther decided to see of she could get a bit closer to the treat using the oven door and cooking racks. Good Grief! Helping ourselves can be very dangerous!
It’s been a while since God found my fingerprints all over something sitting on the counter that I shouldn’t be eating, but when I think about it, hardly a day goes by that I don’t drag the kitchen chair over the counter and try to help myself (figuratively speaking) to something I want immediately and think I deserve, while imagining that God is in some far off corner of the universe doing His housekeeping. I wonder if God ever calls one of His angle friends over to see what I’ve gotten myself into? Today I want to live by the Fruit Snack rules. I want to ask and ask with humility and with respect.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above...” above my reach, “and cometh down from the Father of lights...” (see James 1:17) from my Heavenly Father and my Savior, who see in perfect light exactly what will, in the end, bring me the greatest measure of joy.
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Only Real Gift in the Room – Steps 6 and 7
A good friend of mine invited me to a party over the holidays. It was a gift exchange. Each woman invited was asked to purchase an ornament and bring it to the party wrapped. Having had no experience with this kind of an activity I asked the hostess, “What kind of an ornament?”
“Oh, you know, one you think everyone in the room will want when they see it! And of course, it’s all about the packaging.” Those were my only instructions. A few days later I found myself browsing in a Christmas shop when suddenly it dawned on me, the procrastinating Christmas elf, that this was the perfect moment to find my ornament.
I walked around the shop for a long time. There were hundreds of ornaments, every kind imaginable. I started collecting my favorites as I walked about. I soon had them hanging in all ten fingers, unable to make any kind of a choice. “I need some help,” I thought. I called my daughter and started describing the type of party I had been invited to and the ornament choices swinging from each of my fingers, with hopes that she could help me. It didn’t take me long to see that this was not going to help at all. I’m sure she thought I was crazy, calling her about such a little decision and no way for her to actually tell what I was looking at!
Finally I walked up to the check out desk. Maybe these people have some kind of experience with other indecisive women coming in on this kind of errand. Happily they knew just what I was talking about and even which ornament had been most widely chosen for such an occasion. I finally made my purchase!
The hostess, my friend, had created a beautiful, very inviting atmosphere. Her home was luscious with Christmas everywhere. Each woman placed her unmarked wrapped package under the tree. We snacked and chatted until the time for opening arrived. We each picked a number out of a hat and then the games began. Woman number one went to the tree, choose a gift, and unwrapped it. There were lots of oohs and aahs. Then woman number two had the opportunity to either take a gift from under the tree or from woman number one. Which would it be - the known and the unknown? We proceeded like that until every woman had a gift and had had the opportunity to steal a gift from a friend (or someone who use to be her friend). It was a lot of fun! Christmas was wonderful.
It’s January now. I stayed up very late Saturday night getting my after Christmas personal finances back in order and making a budget for January. “Wow, I’m glad to have made it through one more year,” I thought as I closed the books. “The gift giving frenzy of Christmas is all over, or is it?” a little jingle bell went off in my mind:
“Nannette, the world gives gifts at Christmas to symbolize the Savior’s gifts to the world, but the Savior’s gifts to the world are not limited just to Christmas. For Him, gift giving is a year round activity.”
My mind wandered back to my first Christmas party of this season, the “Ornament Exchange.” I dedicate the following thought to all of us who are so in need of the blessings of Christmas the through out the year:
“The great gift of Christmas is The Christ and the great gift of The Christ is His power to help us endure the trials of life and make progress toward Him, day after day after day, every day of the year. The Lord wants to give you the best gift in the room, the one that will be fought over, the one that you are willing to fight for. Fight for it today my friend. The Lord wants you to have it! He brought it to the party hoping you would want it more than anything else under the tree. His gift is wrapped in His flesh and in His blood. He spent everything He had for the right to extend it to you. It’s yours for the taking, if you want it. Don’t trade it for something unknown or something that seems more glamorous. Hold it tight. There is nothing worth the trade. It’s the only real gift in the room.”
Have A Merry Christmas Every Day Of The Year!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, January 11, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“Oh, you know, one you think everyone in the room will want when they see it! And of course, it’s all about the packaging.” Those were my only instructions. A few days later I found myself browsing in a Christmas shop when suddenly it dawned on me, the procrastinating Christmas elf, that this was the perfect moment to find my ornament.
I walked around the shop for a long time. There were hundreds of ornaments, every kind imaginable. I started collecting my favorites as I walked about. I soon had them hanging in all ten fingers, unable to make any kind of a choice. “I need some help,” I thought. I called my daughter and started describing the type of party I had been invited to and the ornament choices swinging from each of my fingers, with hopes that she could help me. It didn’t take me long to see that this was not going to help at all. I’m sure she thought I was crazy, calling her about such a little decision and no way for her to actually tell what I was looking at!
Finally I walked up to the check out desk. Maybe these people have some kind of experience with other indecisive women coming in on this kind of errand. Happily they knew just what I was talking about and even which ornament had been most widely chosen for such an occasion. I finally made my purchase!
The hostess, my friend, had created a beautiful, very inviting atmosphere. Her home was luscious with Christmas everywhere. Each woman placed her unmarked wrapped package under the tree. We snacked and chatted until the time for opening arrived. We each picked a number out of a hat and then the games began. Woman number one went to the tree, choose a gift, and unwrapped it. There were lots of oohs and aahs. Then woman number two had the opportunity to either take a gift from under the tree or from woman number one. Which would it be - the known and the unknown? We proceeded like that until every woman had a gift and had had the opportunity to steal a gift from a friend (or someone who use to be her friend). It was a lot of fun! Christmas was wonderful.
It’s January now. I stayed up very late Saturday night getting my after Christmas personal finances back in order and making a budget for January. “Wow, I’m glad to have made it through one more year,” I thought as I closed the books. “The gift giving frenzy of Christmas is all over, or is it?” a little jingle bell went off in my mind:
“Nannette, the world gives gifts at Christmas to symbolize the Savior’s gifts to the world, but the Savior’s gifts to the world are not limited just to Christmas. For Him, gift giving is a year round activity.”
My mind wandered back to my first Christmas party of this season, the “Ornament Exchange.” I dedicate the following thought to all of us who are so in need of the blessings of Christmas the through out the year:
“The great gift of Christmas is The Christ and the great gift of The Christ is His power to help us endure the trials of life and make progress toward Him, day after day after day, every day of the year. The Lord wants to give you the best gift in the room, the one that will be fought over, the one that you are willing to fight for. Fight for it today my friend. The Lord wants you to have it! He brought it to the party hoping you would want it more than anything else under the tree. His gift is wrapped in His flesh and in His blood. He spent everything He had for the right to extend it to you. It’s yours for the taking, if you want it. Don’t trade it for something unknown or something that seems more glamorous. Hold it tight. There is nothing worth the trade. It’s the only real gift in the room.”
Have A Merry Christmas Every Day Of The Year!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, January 11, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Reindeer Resistance – All Steps
On the Monday morning before Christmas I went to the gym for my usual first day of the week work out, water aerobics, a class I love. I was fully prepared to swim, but as I walked past the pool and glanced at my classmates who had already entered the water I had second and even third thoughts.
Now believe me, I’m fully aware that water aerobics is not now and likely never will be an Olympic sport. “Real athletes” and “gym regulars” have been known to poke fun at all those splashing about in the shallow end of the pool who seem to be suffering from the delusion that they are actually “working out.” We use things like Styrofoam weights and “noodles” to facilitate our workout, not exactly the equipment you’d love to have your picture taken with for the latest fitness magazine. For many reasons it would be nice if water aerobics were a private affair instead of an activity surrounded by window glass walls and situated in the corner of a very busy gym. Putting all self-consciousness aside, I’m a regular, and water aerobics has been a very real and effective form of exercise for me.
So what was the cause of my resistance on this particular day before Christmas 2009? As I walked toward the door I glanced in at my classmates and recognized right away that a new piece of equipment had been added. Placed atop the head of each swimmer was a bold set of reindeer felt antlers, some red, some green, and all sets complete with jingling bells. Front and center was our teacher whose noggin was covered in a red fluffy Santa hat. She was the “Little Saint Nick” and we were apparently to be her “Run, Run, Running Reindeer.”
Though I love our well-meaning teacher and knew this was her contribution to our holiday cheer, I was mortified. As I walked past the window toward the dressing room the whole silly looking class of women smiled and waved to me. There was no discrete way out of this. They had all seen my swim bag and I needed to exercise. I entered the pool area. Maybe if I completely ignore the obvious they’ll forget. But oh no! The teacher immediately exited the pool, reached into her little bag, and brought forth a set of red felt jingling Christmas dress ups for me. Apparently there were plenty to go around.
For the next hour we exercised hard and we laughed hard too! It was all very good for me I’m sure (the exercise and the “antlers”). I tend to be too self-conscious and to take myself a bit too seriously. In recovery I’m learning that as I live right there is always the possibility that I will look foolish to others.
Recently in my scripture study I ran across a phrase I have not understood and have previously passed over. This time for some reason I stayed with it until I had a better understanding. It was in 2 Nephi 9:18 which says: “But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.”
The concept I couldn’t grasp was what it meant to “despise the shame” of the world? So, I got out my dictionary. The word despise means “to regard as beneath one’s notice and unworthy of consideration or interest.” The shame of the world is the guilt or disgrace that the world tries to lay on us as we try to “choose the right.”
In short we “despise the shame of the world” when we are willing to go forward and take action based not on how we might come across to “the world” but based on our best understanding of God’s will for us. We let go of the reaction of the world and of those who are of the world, even at the risk of looking silly, foolish, naive, or even down right ridiculous.
We are called to do good and let go of the reaction of others. In the world there will be never ending opportunities to work on our ability to focus on the Lord and proceed, unashamed. So don’t you worry! Your next opportunity to practice this principle is probably just around the corner, inside the gym, the restaurant, the theater, at church, at the mall, or right in your own home.
My desire is to set aside pride wherever it exists within me. I think I should keep a set of those reindeer antlers around as a funny reminder of a very real, very serious divine challenge. Figuratively speaking what each of us has to do is practice placing those reindeer antlers on our heads and jumping in the pool in every aspect of our lives.
Happy New Year to all!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, January 7, 2010
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Now believe me, I’m fully aware that water aerobics is not now and likely never will be an Olympic sport. “Real athletes” and “gym regulars” have been known to poke fun at all those splashing about in the shallow end of the pool who seem to be suffering from the delusion that they are actually “working out.” We use things like Styrofoam weights and “noodles” to facilitate our workout, not exactly the equipment you’d love to have your picture taken with for the latest fitness magazine. For many reasons it would be nice if water aerobics were a private affair instead of an activity surrounded by window glass walls and situated in the corner of a very busy gym. Putting all self-consciousness aside, I’m a regular, and water aerobics has been a very real and effective form of exercise for me.
So what was the cause of my resistance on this particular day before Christmas 2009? As I walked toward the door I glanced in at my classmates and recognized right away that a new piece of equipment had been added. Placed atop the head of each swimmer was a bold set of reindeer felt antlers, some red, some green, and all sets complete with jingling bells. Front and center was our teacher whose noggin was covered in a red fluffy Santa hat. She was the “Little Saint Nick” and we were apparently to be her “Run, Run, Running Reindeer.”
Though I love our well-meaning teacher and knew this was her contribution to our holiday cheer, I was mortified. As I walked past the window toward the dressing room the whole silly looking class of women smiled and waved to me. There was no discrete way out of this. They had all seen my swim bag and I needed to exercise. I entered the pool area. Maybe if I completely ignore the obvious they’ll forget. But oh no! The teacher immediately exited the pool, reached into her little bag, and brought forth a set of red felt jingling Christmas dress ups for me. Apparently there were plenty to go around.
For the next hour we exercised hard and we laughed hard too! It was all very good for me I’m sure (the exercise and the “antlers”). I tend to be too self-conscious and to take myself a bit too seriously. In recovery I’m learning that as I live right there is always the possibility that I will look foolish to others.
Recently in my scripture study I ran across a phrase I have not understood and have previously passed over. This time for some reason I stayed with it until I had a better understanding. It was in 2 Nephi 9:18 which says: “But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.”
The concept I couldn’t grasp was what it meant to “despise the shame” of the world? So, I got out my dictionary. The word despise means “to regard as beneath one’s notice and unworthy of consideration or interest.” The shame of the world is the guilt or disgrace that the world tries to lay on us as we try to “choose the right.”
In short we “despise the shame of the world” when we are willing to go forward and take action based not on how we might come across to “the world” but based on our best understanding of God’s will for us. We let go of the reaction of the world and of those who are of the world, even at the risk of looking silly, foolish, naive, or even down right ridiculous.
We are called to do good and let go of the reaction of others. In the world there will be never ending opportunities to work on our ability to focus on the Lord and proceed, unashamed. So don’t you worry! Your next opportunity to practice this principle is probably just around the corner, inside the gym, the restaurant, the theater, at church, at the mall, or right in your own home.
My desire is to set aside pride wherever it exists within me. I think I should keep a set of those reindeer antlers around as a funny reminder of a very real, very serious divine challenge. Figuratively speaking what each of us has to do is practice placing those reindeer antlers on our heads and jumping in the pool in every aspect of our lives.
Happy New Year to all!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, January 7, 2010
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
With One or With All - Steps 1, 2, and 3
I clearly remember the day I sent my first child off to public school. She wasn’t the traditional child of five. She was a teenager entering junior high school after being taught at home for six years. She was the first of five to leave my little educational nest. I prepared her that day with all the things you’d expect: a sack lunch, pocket folders, new pencils and pens, a spiral notebook, a map of the school, and a lot of “You’ll be OK! You’re going to do just fine!”
I waved good-bye as she headed out into the fall air to catch the school bus. As I turned to go into the house and face the new day with my home school class, smaller by one, something very painful tightened in my throat and tears started to spill from my eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute!” I called through the opening in the door to the little group of four, who were giggling and eating Cheerios and bananas around the kitchen table.
I didn’t venture too far off, but that morning I walked around the block a good many times before going back in the house to be the mother and teacher. I cried and I talked to God. “Lord, if I can’t teach all of them, I’m not sure I can or want to teach any of them. It feels sad. It feels incomplete.”
That was the morning the Spirit told me I had to become forever willing to be fully present with the members of my family at hand. “Work with the ones you are with Nannette. The family is not an all or nothing proposition, not the Lord’s vast family or your little family.” He reminded me that my all or nothing mother mentality extended into subjects other that education. It threatened the way I felt about spiritual family activities, recreational family activities, celebrations and holidays. This was the morning the Lord invited me to accept the truth that as my family grew I would not always have everyone at family prayer, family night, family scripture study, family dinner, on the family vacation, at the wedding, sitting around the table at Thanksgiving dinner, or at the yearly Christmas Sing Along.
I remember finally pulling myself together that morning and gathering my group for opening prayer, the Pledge of Allegiance, a brand new scripture and a poem to memorize, new books, and a new schedule. Without missing too many beats we were off and running. Since that day I’ve had many “family” experiences with three out of five, two out of five, and even one out of five. I have felt the Lord smile at my willingness to participate with Him in family activities with all those willing and able to be present.
For many of us the joy of the holidays is threatened by the sadness we feel over the ones who are missing for whatever reason. Today, when I’m tempted to allow the joy I might experience, with the ones I’m with, to be overshadowed by the emptiness of a less than perfect attendance, I get honest with the Lord. I say to Him, “Lord, I just want everyone present and accounted for.” “Me too!” I seem to hear my Heavenly Father whisper. “Me too. But just like you, though my heart longs for the presence of all my children, I can’t hold myself back from the ones who are present. I give myself fully to being, teaching, loving, and celebrating with one or with all.
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 31, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I waved good-bye as she headed out into the fall air to catch the school bus. As I turned to go into the house and face the new day with my home school class, smaller by one, something very painful tightened in my throat and tears started to spill from my eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute!” I called through the opening in the door to the little group of four, who were giggling and eating Cheerios and bananas around the kitchen table.
I didn’t venture too far off, but that morning I walked around the block a good many times before going back in the house to be the mother and teacher. I cried and I talked to God. “Lord, if I can’t teach all of them, I’m not sure I can or want to teach any of them. It feels sad. It feels incomplete.”
That was the morning the Spirit told me I had to become forever willing to be fully present with the members of my family at hand. “Work with the ones you are with Nannette. The family is not an all or nothing proposition, not the Lord’s vast family or your little family.” He reminded me that my all or nothing mother mentality extended into subjects other that education. It threatened the way I felt about spiritual family activities, recreational family activities, celebrations and holidays. This was the morning the Lord invited me to accept the truth that as my family grew I would not always have everyone at family prayer, family night, family scripture study, family dinner, on the family vacation, at the wedding, sitting around the table at Thanksgiving dinner, or at the yearly Christmas Sing Along.
I remember finally pulling myself together that morning and gathering my group for opening prayer, the Pledge of Allegiance, a brand new scripture and a poem to memorize, new books, and a new schedule. Without missing too many beats we were off and running. Since that day I’ve had many “family” experiences with three out of five, two out of five, and even one out of five. I have felt the Lord smile at my willingness to participate with Him in family activities with all those willing and able to be present.
For many of us the joy of the holidays is threatened by the sadness we feel over the ones who are missing for whatever reason. Today, when I’m tempted to allow the joy I might experience, with the ones I’m with, to be overshadowed by the emptiness of a less than perfect attendance, I get honest with the Lord. I say to Him, “Lord, I just want everyone present and accounted for.” “Me too!” I seem to hear my Heavenly Father whisper. “Me too. But just like you, though my heart longs for the presence of all my children, I can’t hold myself back from the ones who are present. I give myself fully to being, teaching, loving, and celebrating with one or with all.
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 31, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, December 7, 2009
“Michael’s Thanksgiving Day Prayer” - Abstinence
It was finally pie time. So many pies! So many flavors! So many decisions! Pie with whip cream? Pie with ice cream? “Maybe just a little of both,” I heard someone say. The turkey and rolls started to make their way back out onto on counter, something to balance out all that pie I suppose. “Hey, who brought the eggnog and seven-up?” questioned one of the uncles with great excitement!
The Thanksgiving Day sun was setting. The cousins were starting to get a little wound up. My grown children, the parents, were starting to say things like, “Stop! Remember we don’t run in Grandma’s house!” and “No you may not have a fourth piece of pie!” In our family, generally speaking, the later it gets the more energy the children have. With 17 children and 21 adults we were almost outnumbered and it was time to either mesmerize them by playing The Santa Clause 1, 2, 3, and 4 videos, or for the adults to gather up all the energizer turkeys and head toward home for a long post pie nap.
I stood at the kitchen sink visiting with my brother. “Before we leave,” he said, “I’ve got a story to tell you: This morning before driving down to your house for dinner I gathered every one for family prayer. I called on Michael (age 14)to pray for the family and this is what he prayed, ‘Heavenly Father,Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick.’”
We had a good laugh. I’ve prayed that prayer myself a thousand times. I’ve been so certain Heavenly Father would hear my prayer and grant me my wish that I’ve gone ahead and put him to the test. Time and time again I have hoped for a negligible outcome as I’ve taken in more food and more calories than my body has the capacity to deal with in a healthy way only to be shocked at the after pains. Without exception I felt sick not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.
I don’t think you have to be a compulsive eater to relate to Michael’s prayer. In many Addiction Recovery Meetings I’ve heard participants say, “Hi, I’m _____ and I’m addicted to MORE.” It doesn’t seem to matter if our destructive practices center around the computer, the bar, the refrigerator, the Mall, or the neighborhood pharmacy, our prayer has been much like Michaels Thanksgiving Day request. “Dear Heavenly Father, Please, just this time, grant me the miracle of indulging without consequence.”
This year I am happy to be a compulsive eater who is a grateful Thanksgiving Dinner survivor, ninety-seven pounds down from my top weight, but I certainly have not finished my course work on the subject of cause and effect. I had to smile at the Lord’s sense of humor the other night. I started developing this little piece of writing late in the evening. Before climbing into the covers and without thought of what I had just finished writing, I knelt at the foot of my bed and said, “Dear Heavenly Father, Once again I’ve stayed up much too late. I know I should have been in bed a long time ago, but please bless me with the ability to wake up early, feeling great, and with energy to accomplish good thing in the morning.” As I whispered these words Heavenward I could almost see the corners of the Lord’s mouth turn up just a bit, and with a twinkle in his eye, and His brows slightly raised He seemed to whisper back, “Oh, I see Nannette, might you be asking for the miracle of indulging without consequence? It reminds me a of the Thanksgiving prayer of a little by I know, ‘Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick?’”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 7, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The Thanksgiving Day sun was setting. The cousins were starting to get a little wound up. My grown children, the parents, were starting to say things like, “Stop! Remember we don’t run in Grandma’s house!” and “No you may not have a fourth piece of pie!” In our family, generally speaking, the later it gets the more energy the children have. With 17 children and 21 adults we were almost outnumbered and it was time to either mesmerize them by playing The Santa Clause 1, 2, 3, and 4 videos, or for the adults to gather up all the energizer turkeys and head toward home for a long post pie nap.
I stood at the kitchen sink visiting with my brother. “Before we leave,” he said, “I’ve got a story to tell you: This morning before driving down to your house for dinner I gathered every one for family prayer. I called on Michael (age 14)to pray for the family and this is what he prayed, ‘Heavenly Father,Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick.’”
We had a good laugh. I’ve prayed that prayer myself a thousand times. I’ve been so certain Heavenly Father would hear my prayer and grant me my wish that I’ve gone ahead and put him to the test. Time and time again I have hoped for a negligible outcome as I’ve taken in more food and more calories than my body has the capacity to deal with in a healthy way only to be shocked at the after pains. Without exception I felt sick not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.
I don’t think you have to be a compulsive eater to relate to Michael’s prayer. In many Addiction Recovery Meetings I’ve heard participants say, “Hi, I’m _____ and I’m addicted to MORE.” It doesn’t seem to matter if our destructive practices center around the computer, the bar, the refrigerator, the Mall, or the neighborhood pharmacy, our prayer has been much like Michaels Thanksgiving Day request. “Dear Heavenly Father, Please, just this time, grant me the miracle of indulging without consequence.”
This year I am happy to be a compulsive eater who is a grateful Thanksgiving Dinner survivor, ninety-seven pounds down from my top weight, but I certainly have not finished my course work on the subject of cause and effect. I had to smile at the Lord’s sense of humor the other night. I started developing this little piece of writing late in the evening. Before climbing into the covers and without thought of what I had just finished writing, I knelt at the foot of my bed and said, “Dear Heavenly Father, Once again I’ve stayed up much too late. I know I should have been in bed a long time ago, but please bless me with the ability to wake up early, feeling great, and with energy to accomplish good thing in the morning.” As I whispered these words Heavenward I could almost see the corners of the Lord’s mouth turn up just a bit, and with a twinkle in his eye, and His brows slightly raised He seemed to whisper back, “Oh, I see Nannette, might you be asking for the miracle of indulging without consequence? It reminds me a of the Thanksgiving prayer of a little by I know, ‘Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick?’”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 7, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, November 23, 2009
“Pray As If…” Step 3 Trust In God
There’s old saying goes something like this: “Pray as if everything depends on God and then get up and go to work as if everything depends on you.” The point of this adage is to remind us that we shouldn’t pray and then simply sit around and wait until God takes action. I get the point, and I don’t want to offend anyone who has used this thought in a motivational talk, but I have a problem with this advise.
My problem is that any notion that I am alone in my work either paralyzes me into inaction or terrifies me into a workaholic frenzy. I absolutely cannot do the work of the Lord, in the Lord’s way, if I entertain the idea that it all depends on me. I have to go to work knowing I can absolutely, thoroughly, completely, without doubt, with out question depend on God to help me!
King Benjamin shares the secret of his power “to do” when he says he has served the people with “all the might, mind, and strength which the Lord hath granted unto” him. (Mosiah 2:11). Those words are among the most hopeful in all scripture. Sometimes a good old saying brings good old-fashioned wisdom, but sometimes a good old saying brings the “same old, same old” behavior that keeps me going in non-productive circles.
I believe I work harder knowing He is with me then I do trembling in perceived loneliness. Today I pray as if everything depends on God and then I get up and go to work as if the Lord is completely dependable.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 23, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
My problem is that any notion that I am alone in my work either paralyzes me into inaction or terrifies me into a workaholic frenzy. I absolutely cannot do the work of the Lord, in the Lord’s way, if I entertain the idea that it all depends on me. I have to go to work knowing I can absolutely, thoroughly, completely, without doubt, with out question depend on God to help me!
King Benjamin shares the secret of his power “to do” when he says he has served the people with “all the might, mind, and strength which the Lord hath granted unto” him. (Mosiah 2:11). Those words are among the most hopeful in all scripture. Sometimes a good old saying brings good old-fashioned wisdom, but sometimes a good old saying brings the “same old, same old” behavior that keeps me going in non-productive circles.
I believe I work harder knowing He is with me then I do trembling in perceived loneliness. Today I pray as if everything depends on God and then I get up and go to work as if the Lord is completely dependable.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 23, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Potato Peels Are Just The Beginning - Steps 4-10
Who knew a few potato trimmings could cause such trauma in the kitchen! The day of rest turned into the day of the big mess with just a flick of the disposal switch. With chicken gravy on the stove and the taters my daughter had cleaned and seasoned baking in the oven, Sunday dinner looked like it was going to be a great success. I glanced into the sink as I passed by and noticed a few potato trimmings way down in the disposal. “Oh, it doesn’t look like there’s much there. I bet it will go down the drain just fine,” I said to myself as I flipped the disposal switch. I had an immediate second thought about my decision, but it was too late. Within seconds I knew I had created a giant problem. “Why oh why hadn’t I just reached down and pulled those scraps out and put them into the trash?”
My husband walked through the kitchen just as water with hundreds of little tiny potato peelings began welling up on one side of the double sink. The memory of the Sunday I put brown rice down the drain came to my mind. My husband just shook his head. He was silent, but “here we go again” was written all over his face. “Don’t you worry!” I assured him and invited him to leave the kitchen. I grabbed the plunger, ran the water and the disposal and plunged for all I was worth. Nothing! “Maybe if I just let it sit for a while something will break through,” I thought as I worked toward dinner. I could see that I was getting nowhere.
Eventually my husband and my son-in-law got into it. We did all the things people do. We ran more and more water. We ran the disposal again and again and of course, we plunged and plunged. We stopped up the disposal side of the sink to create some resistance and plunged and plunged some more. Nothing!
We used a pail and got all the water out of the sink, disinfected the area around the sink and sat down to Sunday dinner. We took a short break and for thirty minutes and we all pretended there was no problem. I sat and visited and ate and hoped that something miraculous was going on down in those pipes.
I won’t bore you or disgust you with all the details of the next two days. Suffice it to say that today our sink works. No small thing. One husband, one son-in-law, one neighbor, two plumbers and a lot of money later, the water flows freely.
I’ve learned a thing or two about our plumbing. A little disposal worth of potato peals can a very large mess make if those peals are trying to get down a small already mucked up pipe. The plumber says that once a month we should fill the sink with water, turn on the disposal and run water through the line to keep the pipes cleaned out!
This little experience with a plugged up pipe in the house made me think of the brilliance of Steps 4-10. I am like that pipe! Many of us come to apply the 12 Steps because in some aspect of our lives we are stuck. We can’t move forward and it isn’t for lack of trying. We are aware of many of our imperfections. Most of us have done some confessing. We’ve told God we wish we were making greater progress. We’ve said we were sorry and asked for forgiveness on several occasions, and we try not to go to bed angry. But we are still stuck.
When I first read through the 12 Steps I thought to myself, “Well, I kind of like the first three and the last three, but I’m not doing the ones in the middle. The following are the Gospel principles represented by the middle Steps:
Step 4 “Truth”
Step 5 “Confession”
Step 6 “Change of heart”
Step 7 “Humility”
Step 8 “Seeking forgiveness”
Step 9 “Restitution and Reconciliation”
Step 10 “Daily Accountability”
Today I see that not being willing to take those steps thoroughly and dabbling about with repentance is like using a plunger on a plugged up drain that is ultimately going to require a fifty-foot plumbing snake and daily maintenance.
The fellow that unplugged the sink was finally able to get to the root of the problem. Tuesday morning I woke up to a sink where the water could run freely, something I won’t take for granted again.
That’s the purpose of Steps 4-10 too. As I do the work required I discover a kind of water that runs more freely in me too. It’s the “Living Water”, the life changing water the Lord promised to that ancient “Woman at the Well” in John 4:10.
Now I truly don’t mean to offend by comparing our emotional and spiritual inner workings to the plumbing in my house. I know it’s not a very pretty picture, but it’s a picture the Spirit used to get my attention.
As it turns out, the potato peels were not the real culprit. The real problem was a pipe with years and years of build up that had to be cleaned out. It’s the same with our personal cleansing. Eventually, if we want to get unstuck we have to surrender to the process that promises to clean out the years and years of accumulation and free us to move forward.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
My husband walked through the kitchen just as water with hundreds of little tiny potato peelings began welling up on one side of the double sink. The memory of the Sunday I put brown rice down the drain came to my mind. My husband just shook his head. He was silent, but “here we go again” was written all over his face. “Don’t you worry!” I assured him and invited him to leave the kitchen. I grabbed the plunger, ran the water and the disposal and plunged for all I was worth. Nothing! “Maybe if I just let it sit for a while something will break through,” I thought as I worked toward dinner. I could see that I was getting nowhere.
Eventually my husband and my son-in-law got into it. We did all the things people do. We ran more and more water. We ran the disposal again and again and of course, we plunged and plunged. We stopped up the disposal side of the sink to create some resistance and plunged and plunged some more. Nothing!
We used a pail and got all the water out of the sink, disinfected the area around the sink and sat down to Sunday dinner. We took a short break and for thirty minutes and we all pretended there was no problem. I sat and visited and ate and hoped that something miraculous was going on down in those pipes.
I won’t bore you or disgust you with all the details of the next two days. Suffice it to say that today our sink works. No small thing. One husband, one son-in-law, one neighbor, two plumbers and a lot of money later, the water flows freely.
I’ve learned a thing or two about our plumbing. A little disposal worth of potato peals can a very large mess make if those peals are trying to get down a small already mucked up pipe. The plumber says that once a month we should fill the sink with water, turn on the disposal and run water through the line to keep the pipes cleaned out!
This little experience with a plugged up pipe in the house made me think of the brilliance of Steps 4-10. I am like that pipe! Many of us come to apply the 12 Steps because in some aspect of our lives we are stuck. We can’t move forward and it isn’t for lack of trying. We are aware of many of our imperfections. Most of us have done some confessing. We’ve told God we wish we were making greater progress. We’ve said we were sorry and asked for forgiveness on several occasions, and we try not to go to bed angry. But we are still stuck.
When I first read through the 12 Steps I thought to myself, “Well, I kind of like the first three and the last three, but I’m not doing the ones in the middle. The following are the Gospel principles represented by the middle Steps:
Step 4 “Truth”
Step 5 “Confession”
Step 6 “Change of heart”
Step 7 “Humility”
Step 8 “Seeking forgiveness”
Step 9 “Restitution and Reconciliation”
Step 10 “Daily Accountability”
Today I see that not being willing to take those steps thoroughly and dabbling about with repentance is like using a plunger on a plugged up drain that is ultimately going to require a fifty-foot plumbing snake and daily maintenance.
The fellow that unplugged the sink was finally able to get to the root of the problem. Tuesday morning I woke up to a sink where the water could run freely, something I won’t take for granted again.
That’s the purpose of Steps 4-10 too. As I do the work required I discover a kind of water that runs more freely in me too. It’s the “Living Water”, the life changing water the Lord promised to that ancient “Woman at the Well” in John 4:10.
Now I truly don’t mean to offend by comparing our emotional and spiritual inner workings to the plumbing in my house. I know it’s not a very pretty picture, but it’s a picture the Spirit used to get my attention.
As it turns out, the potato peels were not the real culprit. The real problem was a pipe with years and years of build up that had to be cleaned out. It’s the same with our personal cleansing. Eventually, if we want to get unstuck we have to surrender to the process that promises to clean out the years and years of accumulation and free us to move forward.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
My God in Simple Terms – Addiction Prevention
Several months ago my nephew received the Priesthood. As a special surprise for him my sister-in-law asked each member of our extended family to write him a note. In this note we were supposed to share something of ourselves. She gave us several ideas. The option I chose was to put into words some of the most important things I have ever learned. I’ve decided to share my letter with you:
Dear ______,
As you know your Uncle and I are serving a mission. Our work is to help members of the Church who have become addicted to substances and behaviors that are destroying their lives. We have seen many miracles in our own lives and in the lives of others. I want to share some of the most important things I have learned about the Gospel during my mission.
1. Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit love me and you more than we can even imagine. Even though we have not been perfect, even though we make mistakes they still love us.
2. They are “omniscient.” That means they know everything in the universe. That includes everything about you and me. They know exactly what we need in order to continue to learn and grow.
3. They are “omnipotent.” That means that they have all the power. Any power you and I have comes from them. Any power we need must come from them.
4. So, when I do anything good (accomplish a goal, repent of a sin, serve another person) I am being directed and given power by God.
5. They will help me with anything I need help with - Nothing is too small and nothing is too big. I use to think that maybe some things were too insignificant, too small to bother my Heavenly Father about. I use to think that some things in my life were too hard, that even God couldn’t help me with some things. Today I know that if I am filled with worry and care over anything, Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit care too.
6. I use to think that they would only help me with “good kid problems” like if I lost my keys or I needed to find a job or had the flue. I’ve learned that they want to help me especially with things that cause me to feel bad about myself, things in my life I need to repent of, ways I need to change. In fact, I have learned that I can’t change without their help.
7. I have learned that I can go to them and be honest about any of my weaknesses and admit that I can’t change, or solve a particular problem, or endure a trial, or accomplish a goal by myself. I can ask them to change my heart and help me know what to do and to give me the power to do the right thing. They will always respond.
8. I have learned that when I live the commandments to the best of my ability it’s a way of telling them I love them and that I need their help. When I pray, or read the scriptures, or go the church it’s like sending them a little invitation giving them permission to help me.
9. Finally I have come to appreciate the life and work of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. It is because of the Atonement that I can receive help from Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The help we receive because of the Atonement is called Grace. Grace is the “enabling power” that can help us do something we would not be able to do by ourselves. I need this power every day in small things and in big things. You will too.
10. One of my favorite songs is “Choose the Right.” Choosing the right is more than just knowing right from wrong. There are many people in the world who know what they should do. Today I know that the Jesus will not only help me know what is right but that He can give me the strength to actually do what is right.
I love you. You are going to be a great man. I hope the things I have shared with you will help you on your way.
With much love,
Aunt Nan
The things I shared with my nephew are foundational to Addiction Recovery, so why would I share them with a 12-year-old young man who is about to receive the Priesthood? I shared them because I believe they are not only foundational to recovery; they are the foundation of addiction prevention. Addiction is what I turn to habitually, that’s destructive, instead of turning to God. I wanted to share with my nephew and now with each of you the things I know about God today that help me feel comfortable and willing to turn to Him instead of anything else. They can be taught in very simple terms. They can be taught to children of every age, and they can be demonstrated in the way we solve our own problems in front of children.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 24, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Dear ______,
As you know your Uncle and I are serving a mission. Our work is to help members of the Church who have become addicted to substances and behaviors that are destroying their lives. We have seen many miracles in our own lives and in the lives of others. I want to share some of the most important things I have learned about the Gospel during my mission.
1. Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit love me and you more than we can even imagine. Even though we have not been perfect, even though we make mistakes they still love us.
2. They are “omniscient.” That means they know everything in the universe. That includes everything about you and me. They know exactly what we need in order to continue to learn and grow.
3. They are “omnipotent.” That means that they have all the power. Any power you and I have comes from them. Any power we need must come from them.
4. So, when I do anything good (accomplish a goal, repent of a sin, serve another person) I am being directed and given power by God.
5. They will help me with anything I need help with - Nothing is too small and nothing is too big. I use to think that maybe some things were too insignificant, too small to bother my Heavenly Father about. I use to think that some things in my life were too hard, that even God couldn’t help me with some things. Today I know that if I am filled with worry and care over anything, Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit care too.
6. I use to think that they would only help me with “good kid problems” like if I lost my keys or I needed to find a job or had the flue. I’ve learned that they want to help me especially with things that cause me to feel bad about myself, things in my life I need to repent of, ways I need to change. In fact, I have learned that I can’t change without their help.
7. I have learned that I can go to them and be honest about any of my weaknesses and admit that I can’t change, or solve a particular problem, or endure a trial, or accomplish a goal by myself. I can ask them to change my heart and help me know what to do and to give me the power to do the right thing. They will always respond.
8. I have learned that when I live the commandments to the best of my ability it’s a way of telling them I love them and that I need their help. When I pray, or read the scriptures, or go the church it’s like sending them a little invitation giving them permission to help me.
9. Finally I have come to appreciate the life and work of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. It is because of the Atonement that I can receive help from Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The help we receive because of the Atonement is called Grace. Grace is the “enabling power” that can help us do something we would not be able to do by ourselves. I need this power every day in small things and in big things. You will too.
10. One of my favorite songs is “Choose the Right.” Choosing the right is more than just knowing right from wrong. There are many people in the world who know what they should do. Today I know that the Jesus will not only help me know what is right but that He can give me the strength to actually do what is right.
I love you. You are going to be a great man. I hope the things I have shared with you will help you on your way.
With much love,
Aunt Nan
The things I shared with my nephew are foundational to Addiction Recovery, so why would I share them with a 12-year-old young man who is about to receive the Priesthood? I shared them because I believe they are not only foundational to recovery; they are the foundation of addiction prevention. Addiction is what I turn to habitually, that’s destructive, instead of turning to God. I wanted to share with my nephew and now with each of you the things I know about God today that help me feel comfortable and willing to turn to Him instead of anything else. They can be taught in very simple terms. They can be taught to children of every age, and they can be demonstrated in the way we solve our own problems in front of children.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 24, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, October 19, 2009
A Big Message from the Loss of a Little Bunny
When I was eleven-years-old we had a Primary activity at my house. Each girl brought her mother. I don’t remember anything about it except the grand finale. Each young girl was supposed to stand and express their love to their mother and share some things they appreciated about her. I was part of a large class of young ladies. Girl after girl stood up and shared and cried and cried. Then it was my turn. I stood up, smiled, told the audience that I loved my mother very much. Then I shared some of the things I loved about her and sat down. No Tears! I was sure that for that reason alone my mother and everyone else doubted my sincerity.
Then it was on the Church’s Young Women’s camp. Traditionally, the last night of camp is devoted to sitting around the campfire and sharing testimonies. Summer after summer I shared an upbeat, sincere, optimistic but tearless testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon, my love for Heavenly Father and Jesus, and my gratitude for my family and my friends. As the other girls shared and cried and cried, mostly over their sorrow and remorse in connection to the damage they had done to each other during this week away from home, I waited for my turn. Sometimes I would try to think of something sad like, “What if I had a dog and it died?” It seemed that for absolutely everyone else this was a very wet event. I always went to sleep after this experience knowing that any testimony minus tears was suspect.
Last week my brother and his family had a sad experience. Their little pet, a lop-eared bunny rabbit named Ruby died. My brother and sister-in-law have four sons, age twelve and ten and twins age five. They held a little funeral for their pet and talked to the boys about the Spirit world where their little bunny was no doubt now nibbling on heavenly grass. My oldest nephew held back the tears until his just younger brother fell apart and gave him a hug. Then he lost it. Taking particular notice of one of the twins and wanting to assist him with this sad family event my sister-in-law said, “Landon, it’s OK if you don’t cry, but are you sad? Do you understand about Ruby? Are you doin’ OK? You know it’s alright to cry.” Landon replied, putting his hand on his heart, “Well, I feel it here.” Then pointing to his eyes he said, “But not here.” Landon’s heart hurt, but his eyes were OK.
“Out of the mouths of babes!” Something healed in me when I heard that story. Landon’s response awakened in me a new tenderness toward myself and all other people whose tear ducts are not constantly connected to their hearts. Someone well versed in psychology might want to delve deeper and discuss the grief cycle or repression of feelings. I choose to keep it simple. Sometimes my heart is full of pain, but my eyes are OK. Sometimes my heart is full to the brim with joy, but my eyes are OK, and that’s OK.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 19, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Then it was on the Church’s Young Women’s camp. Traditionally, the last night of camp is devoted to sitting around the campfire and sharing testimonies. Summer after summer I shared an upbeat, sincere, optimistic but tearless testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon, my love for Heavenly Father and Jesus, and my gratitude for my family and my friends. As the other girls shared and cried and cried, mostly over their sorrow and remorse in connection to the damage they had done to each other during this week away from home, I waited for my turn. Sometimes I would try to think of something sad like, “What if I had a dog and it died?” It seemed that for absolutely everyone else this was a very wet event. I always went to sleep after this experience knowing that any testimony minus tears was suspect.
Last week my brother and his family had a sad experience. Their little pet, a lop-eared bunny rabbit named Ruby died. My brother and sister-in-law have four sons, age twelve and ten and twins age five. They held a little funeral for their pet and talked to the boys about the Spirit world where their little bunny was no doubt now nibbling on heavenly grass. My oldest nephew held back the tears until his just younger brother fell apart and gave him a hug. Then he lost it. Taking particular notice of one of the twins and wanting to assist him with this sad family event my sister-in-law said, “Landon, it’s OK if you don’t cry, but are you sad? Do you understand about Ruby? Are you doin’ OK? You know it’s alright to cry.” Landon replied, putting his hand on his heart, “Well, I feel it here.” Then pointing to his eyes he said, “But not here.” Landon’s heart hurt, but his eyes were OK.
“Out of the mouths of babes!” Something healed in me when I heard that story. Landon’s response awakened in me a new tenderness toward myself and all other people whose tear ducts are not constantly connected to their hearts. Someone well versed in psychology might want to delve deeper and discuss the grief cycle or repression of feelings. I choose to keep it simple. Sometimes my heart is full of pain, but my eyes are OK. Sometimes my heart is full to the brim with joy, but my eyes are OK, and that’s OK.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 19, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
“I Don’t Want Jesus to Come and Visit Me!” Step 11 - Personal Revelation
Some time ago Ethan (then age 6) experienced some very real spiritual feelings one morning as he was reading the children’s version of the Book of Mormon. That evening Ethan lay snuggled in his bed thinking about Joseph Smith’s experience. He pondered how it was that the Prophet Joseph, while just a boy, received a visit from Heavenly Father and Jesus. Suddenly out of the darkness this little guy with some newly discovered spiritual feelings and curiosity about such things called out to his mom. It was not the standard, “Can I have a drink,” call, but “Mom, do you think that if I read the whole Bible that Jesus would come and visit me too?”
Eliza, his older sister and a real practical gal answered from the room next door in just the way you would expect from a serious minded first child. Her simple response was an emphatic, “NO!”
His little brother Carson rested quietly on the bottom bunk bed right below his very imaginative, very courageous, “excited about the scriptures and things of the Spirit” older brother. I’m sure he was trying to process just what the ramifications were of his brother’s apparent desire to have a Joseph Smith experience. Suddenly it dawned on him that he was sharing a room with this seeker of revelation. After a few minutes of silence Carson little voice rang out in the darkness, “Well, I don’t want Jesus to come and visit me!”
I think there must be something of Carson in me, and maybe in all of us, when it comes to things not commonly seen with the eye, things connected with the very real world of the Spirit. Sometimes I feel afraid like Carson, or unworthy, or lazy, or unprepared for the responsibility such interactions seem to command. Though I’m fascinated by the promised gifts of visions and personal revelation, when it comes right down to it I sometimes prefer that Divine interaction remain just outside my personal space, be it hearth or heart.
Things haven’t changed too much with Carson. Last week he lost his first tooth. After this developmental event, when all the kids were tucked into bed, I visited with my daughter on the phone. We had a good laugh when she told me, “Carson’s tooth is not under his pillow. It’s on the front porch. He says he doesn’t like the idea of the Tooth Fairy coming into his room.” We like the idea of fairies and such as long as they stay on the front porch.
Now I hope you don’t think that I’m somehow comparing communication with the Lord with a visit from the Tooth Fairy. I’m not. What I am saying is that sometimes I’m like Carson. I want the prize, but I don’t want to pay the price in closeness.
Joseph Smith taught, “God hath not revealed any thing to Joseph, but what he will make know unto the Twelve and even the least Saint may know all things as fast as he is able to bear them.”(Ehat and Cook, ed. The Words of Joseph Smith, p. 4; emphasis added).
We become “able to bear” the wondrous possibility of daily interaction with our Father and our Savior through the Spirit as we live for it and then practice it. We must become willing to open the front door of our homes and our hearts and invite them to come in. When we ask, “What would Jesus do?” it is very different than inviting Him in from the porch and saying, “Lord, what would Thou have me to do?” Wondering what it would be like to have Jesus with me all day long and trying hard to adjust my behavior to such a possibility is very different than really believing He is with me at all times.
I don’t know about anyone else, but for me keeping God at any distance for any reason will not do in these trying times. Sure I am tempted to feel embarrassed that I’m not all that He would want to be yet. But someday Carson and I have to climb up the ladder to the top bunk with Ethan and entertain the idea that God might just talk to us too. I need to know I’m loved and I need daily counsel and power, things I’ll never be able to receive from the front porch.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Eliza, his older sister and a real practical gal answered from the room next door in just the way you would expect from a serious minded first child. Her simple response was an emphatic, “NO!”
His little brother Carson rested quietly on the bottom bunk bed right below his very imaginative, very courageous, “excited about the scriptures and things of the Spirit” older brother. I’m sure he was trying to process just what the ramifications were of his brother’s apparent desire to have a Joseph Smith experience. Suddenly it dawned on him that he was sharing a room with this seeker of revelation. After a few minutes of silence Carson little voice rang out in the darkness, “Well, I don’t want Jesus to come and visit me!”
I think there must be something of Carson in me, and maybe in all of us, when it comes to things not commonly seen with the eye, things connected with the very real world of the Spirit. Sometimes I feel afraid like Carson, or unworthy, or lazy, or unprepared for the responsibility such interactions seem to command. Though I’m fascinated by the promised gifts of visions and personal revelation, when it comes right down to it I sometimes prefer that Divine interaction remain just outside my personal space, be it hearth or heart.
Things haven’t changed too much with Carson. Last week he lost his first tooth. After this developmental event, when all the kids were tucked into bed, I visited with my daughter on the phone. We had a good laugh when she told me, “Carson’s tooth is not under his pillow. It’s on the front porch. He says he doesn’t like the idea of the Tooth Fairy coming into his room.” We like the idea of fairies and such as long as they stay on the front porch.
Now I hope you don’t think that I’m somehow comparing communication with the Lord with a visit from the Tooth Fairy. I’m not. What I am saying is that sometimes I’m like Carson. I want the prize, but I don’t want to pay the price in closeness.
Joseph Smith taught, “God hath not revealed any thing to Joseph, but what he will make know unto the Twelve and even the least Saint may know all things as fast as he is able to bear them.”(Ehat and Cook, ed. The Words of Joseph Smith, p. 4; emphasis added).
We become “able to bear” the wondrous possibility of daily interaction with our Father and our Savior through the Spirit as we live for it and then practice it. We must become willing to open the front door of our homes and our hearts and invite them to come in. When we ask, “What would Jesus do?” it is very different than inviting Him in from the porch and saying, “Lord, what would Thou have me to do?” Wondering what it would be like to have Jesus with me all day long and trying hard to adjust my behavior to such a possibility is very different than really believing He is with me at all times.
I don’t know about anyone else, but for me keeping God at any distance for any reason will not do in these trying times. Sure I am tempted to feel embarrassed that I’m not all that He would want to be yet. But someday Carson and I have to climb up the ladder to the top bunk with Ethan and entertain the idea that God might just talk to us too. I need to know I’m loved and I need daily counsel and power, things I’ll never be able to receive from the front porch.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
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