My husband served as a university librarian for forty years. Since the library contains a record of all the world’s knowledge and since the world’s librarians spend most of their waking hours surrounded by all the world’s knowledge we expect a lot of them.
Over the years my children have come to their father for help with questions of many varieties. After all, a good librarian should know everything. I’ve heard him respond many times, “A librarian doesn’t need to know everything. They just need to know how to find everything.” My husband did not spend forty years learning everything that could be learned in the library. He spent forty years helping individual students find the best resources available and showing them how they might best be used. He’s a research specialist.
When we married, my five children were ages five through seventeen and one of the best things about their new dad was realized just before any report was due at school. I remember him coming home from the university one day early in our marriage and sitting down with my youngest daughter who had been assigned to write a report for her science class on an animal. She had chosen to study and report on bears. She explained to him that one of her sources could be the “encyclopedia.” He patiently sat next to her and helped her understand that she could not simply copy word for word out of the reference. He taught her to read and then close the book, pick up her pencil, and put the concepts in her own words.
Since that day there have been countless reports due. Most often the kids came to him in crisis mode. “Oh Marv, I have to do a report. It’s going to be OK though because the report’s not due yet. I just need to turn in all my resources by tomorrow. Can you help me!!!!”
Marv was a great one for not offering to do the work for the kids, but if they would find a few hours to spend with him in the library he was more than willing to help out. I remember the time he helped my son find just what he needed for a report on a World War II fighter squadron. Several days later my son went to use the resources they had gathered and discovered he had accidentally left all the books sitting on a desk at the library after a hard day of study. The fear of losing library books is ingrained in each of us at an early age. But they weren’t lost. My son’s librarian dad soon discovered that they were still checked out to them and had simply been re-shelved. Together they looked up the call numbers in the book stacks and re-found each book.
The Lord reminded me of my children and their library experiences with their dad just the other day in an effort to teach me an important truth.
I had just gotten off of the phone from sponsoring someone struggling with addiction. I was filled with regret because I didn’t know the exact advice to give this person in regard to a particular issue.
The question crossed my mind, “So who do you think you are, offering to give support to other struggling mortals?”
I answered back, “So who do I think I am?”
So many times my discussions with those I sponsor or support involve questions about how to solve a current problem, what choice to make in a given life situation, or the truth about a some aspect of life. I receive queries every day that I am ill equipped and unqualified to address, not to mention my complete lack of authority, being wholly unauthorized by God or man to give others their marching orders. And then there’s the matter of my own imperfect behavior, sometimes in the exact thing that’s troubling the person needing assistance!
Then my husband’s words came into my mind. “Nannette, a good librarian doesn’t know everything. A good librarian knows how to find everything. He’s a research specialist.”
That’s it!!! I see!!! He’s an expert on how best to seek, and like a good librarian, a good sponsor doesn’t have to know everything either. They’re not experts on the details of how other struggling mortals should solve every problem. They are not all knowledgeable about all things, but they have come to know the One who is. They know how and where to seek. They’ve discovered that God is the greatest of all resources when it comes to solving problems, overcoming sin, and enduring trials.
One of my husband’s greatest frustrations as a university librarian is the student who sees the “Google” search as the answer to all his or her research needs. We live in a world where instant answers that require a simple search are the order of the day. He says that the easy search never results in the finest, most current scholarly findings. With no filter the simple search brings confusion because the results come by the hundreds and thousands and have to be sorted out by the hours in order to find the materials of greatest value. On the other hand Marv can work with a student for an hour and at the end of their time together they don’t have three thousand possibilities to check out for value. No, they have the twenty very best sources available.
We are surrounded by individuals who are wasting their time and their lives searching out answers to their problems, “Google style.” We have been there ourselves. Finally we ran out of money and room for one more self-help book on our library shelf. Finally someone introduced us the very best Resource available, the Authority on how to navigate life’s struggles and solve life’s most difficult problems. We turned to Him and found Him ready and willing to assist us with any search. Now our great desire is to help others.
I came across these words in the book Alcoholics Anonymous or the Big Book. These words represent the humility and understanding necessary in giving effective support. “We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.” With this simple understanding you and I can assist anyone with his or her search for answers.
We don’t ever have to shy away from giving support because we’re not omniscient! In fact it’s critical to realize that “we know only a little.” What a relief! As demonstrated by the “good librarian,” our work is to lead those who are seeking to the One Resource that will never fail them and then to live in faith that, “God will constantly disclose more to [them] and to us.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, May 24, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
“Help” – Step 11 and Prayer
At my coxing Esther wiggled out of her mother’s arms and crawled over her daddy’s legs onto my lap. She soon recognized that her Grandma was ill prepared with the standard equipment traditionally used for entertaining toddlers during Sacrament Meeting, ie. Cheerios, Sippy Cup, board books etc.
I quickly inventoried the contents of my empty-nester church bag for anything that might possibly capture her attention. I put a squeeze of lotion onto her baby girl palm and rubbed her hands together. Next I used a few pages in my steno pad/journal and to the best of my pitiful ability drew simple familiar objects for her which she practiced recognizing: tree, flower, house, cat, ice cream, and truck. That was the extent of what my purse had to offer and the benediction was not in sight.
With resources running out and wanting to enjoy her company as long as possible I remembered I was wearing my missionary badge. This badge is attached to my Sunday clothes and held in place with set of magnet. I removed it from my blazer and succeeded in fascinating her with the magic of the two magnets. I placed the badge along with the second magnet in her little hand. For a few minutes she was quite captivated. She pulled the magnets apart and then observed the mystery of having them snap back together. Then the fun came to an end. The magnets snapped together in such a way that it was impossible for her to use her little fingers to pull them apart.
I was sure she would soon break into a toddler tantrum. Time for Grandma to help! She was sitting face forward in my lap, and before I made my move to rescue her from frustration she turned her little head so her blue eyes met mine. “Help” she simply said in the most peaceful trusting voice I have ever heard.
I have many times been taken aback by the over the top response of a child to a simple frustration. The sound of the wining that escalates into an outright inconsolable uncontrollable tantrum (theirs and mine) seems to linger and sometimes cloud the atmosphere of the home long after the problem is resolved. When my grown kids and I sit around on a Sunday night and reminisce, these loud, intense, crazy moments in our past are easily remembered.
Curiously I don’t know if I will ever forget Esther’s pure, trusting, simple request for help that day in church. It made a striking impression on my mind and on my heart. I leaned back on the bench and thought about how difficult it is to help a child who is beyond help. They become so worked up over their need and so very sure they aren’t going to receive help fast enough or maybe not at all, that they couldn’t recognize it if the National Guard showed up to solve their problem.
I’ve been that child at times in relation to my earthly parents and to my Heavenly Father, so over wrought, and so overcharged that I am emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually incapable of receiving assistance.
Esther’s humble and faith-filled rendering of the word “help” still hangs in the air over my conscience. Her calm voice was evidence that she had absolutely no doubt about my willingness and ability to help her.
Now, I recognize that earth life is full of some very serious challenges. I do not fault myself or any one else for feeling the pain and the desperate need and the insecurity that comes naturally with the grave trials and struggles we are called to experience as we walk “through the valley of the shadow of death” so to speak. Crying out to the Lord for help certainly has its place.
On the other hand, I find myself facing countless frustrations, problems, and struggles every day that vary in degree of seriousness. Today I want to keep in mind that the Lord is willing and capable of helping me with anything, and I mean ANYTHING large or small. I want to remember Esther’s blue eyes looking with complete trust into mine. I want to remember how she simply and quietly spoke the word “Help” knowing I was not across the universe or even across the room. I was right there by her. I was holding her. And so it is with God. He hears me and He responds.
Sometimes a simple, trusting “Help” is many times more effective than the cry for “Help” followed by hundreds of exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...............................
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, May 8, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I quickly inventoried the contents of my empty-nester church bag for anything that might possibly capture her attention. I put a squeeze of lotion onto her baby girl palm and rubbed her hands together. Next I used a few pages in my steno pad/journal and to the best of my pitiful ability drew simple familiar objects for her which she practiced recognizing: tree, flower, house, cat, ice cream, and truck. That was the extent of what my purse had to offer and the benediction was not in sight.
With resources running out and wanting to enjoy her company as long as possible I remembered I was wearing my missionary badge. This badge is attached to my Sunday clothes and held in place with set of magnet. I removed it from my blazer and succeeded in fascinating her with the magic of the two magnets. I placed the badge along with the second magnet in her little hand. For a few minutes she was quite captivated. She pulled the magnets apart and then observed the mystery of having them snap back together. Then the fun came to an end. The magnets snapped together in such a way that it was impossible for her to use her little fingers to pull them apart.
I was sure she would soon break into a toddler tantrum. Time for Grandma to help! She was sitting face forward in my lap, and before I made my move to rescue her from frustration she turned her little head so her blue eyes met mine. “Help” she simply said in the most peaceful trusting voice I have ever heard.
I have many times been taken aback by the over the top response of a child to a simple frustration. The sound of the wining that escalates into an outright inconsolable uncontrollable tantrum (theirs and mine) seems to linger and sometimes cloud the atmosphere of the home long after the problem is resolved. When my grown kids and I sit around on a Sunday night and reminisce, these loud, intense, crazy moments in our past are easily remembered.
Curiously I don’t know if I will ever forget Esther’s pure, trusting, simple request for help that day in church. It made a striking impression on my mind and on my heart. I leaned back on the bench and thought about how difficult it is to help a child who is beyond help. They become so worked up over their need and so very sure they aren’t going to receive help fast enough or maybe not at all, that they couldn’t recognize it if the National Guard showed up to solve their problem.
I’ve been that child at times in relation to my earthly parents and to my Heavenly Father, so over wrought, and so overcharged that I am emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually incapable of receiving assistance.
Esther’s humble and faith-filled rendering of the word “help” still hangs in the air over my conscience. Her calm voice was evidence that she had absolutely no doubt about my willingness and ability to help her.
Now, I recognize that earth life is full of some very serious challenges. I do not fault myself or any one else for feeling the pain and the desperate need and the insecurity that comes naturally with the grave trials and struggles we are called to experience as we walk “through the valley of the shadow of death” so to speak. Crying out to the Lord for help certainly has its place.
On the other hand, I find myself facing countless frustrations, problems, and struggles every day that vary in degree of seriousness. Today I want to keep in mind that the Lord is willing and capable of helping me with anything, and I mean ANYTHING large or small. I want to remember Esther’s blue eyes looking with complete trust into mine. I want to remember how she simply and quietly spoke the word “Help” knowing I was not across the universe or even across the room. I was right there by her. I was holding her. And so it is with God. He hears me and He responds.
Sometimes a simple, trusting “Help” is many times more effective than the cry for “Help” followed by hundreds of exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...............................
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, May 8, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
“Now and Later” - Service
My mother taught second grade while I was raising my children. Every year she would make very clever homemade Valentines for the children in her class and extras for her grandchildren. A home school Valentine’s Day is never quite as grand as the public school production and my kids were always surprised and grateful for Grandma’s Valentines.
This year the holiday marked by hearts and flowers and candy fell on a Sunday. Saturday night something out of the ordinary struck me and I found myself at Seven-Eleven trying to follow in my mother’s footsteps by putting together a creative idea of my own for my grandkids. I finally settled on the “Now and Later” candies.
Sunday afternoon while dinner was cooking I created a cardstock Valentine for each of the “Grands” that read, “We Love You ‘Now’ and We’ll Love You ‘Later’ and Later and Later…FOREVER!!! Happy Valentines Day Love, Grandma Nan and Grandpa Marv.” Then I put five “Now and Later” candies in ten small baggies and stapled one to the back of each card. I placed the Valentines in my red purse and after the family dinner I passed out the little love notes.
At the close of the day there were several cards left in the bag. I saved them and sent them to the four grandchildren living out of town via an aunt and uncle currier. Better late that never!
My daughter, the mother of three, called to tell me how her little guy T.J. (age four) responded to his Valentine. He had been playing in the yard with four friends. The minute he received the card and candy he ran back outside, opened the little baggie stapled to the back of the card and distributed all the “No and Laters” to his friends. Feeling very good about what he had done he ran back into the house and said, “Mom, I shared my candy with all my friends. That’s the way we get back to Heavenly Father.” Of course his mother gave him an affirming smile.
As she told me the story I thought, “Imagine feeling the joy of service and self-sacrifice at such a young age and with such an Eternal goal in mind! That’s my boy!”
Then she described a scene that occurred later that afternoon. With all his candy philanthropically dispersed T. J. walked in from the yard just in time to observe his siblings hanging out and eating their entire sweet treat with nary a thought of sharing. She described the look on his little face as quite downcast with a less than Eternal perspective in his eyes.
T. J. is good at playing make-believe when it comes to cowboys and cars, but when it comes to his feelings there is no pretending.
Don’t worry T. The “Now and Later Principle” takes a lifetime and maybe beyond to master. Believe me, all the grownups in your world are still working on it. We do something good “now” because we know it will be a blessing “later,” much “later” as in Eternally “later.” What we struggle with is the way we feel just a little “later,” when the pain of the sacrifice kicks in.
Doing what’s right, right “now”, something hard, and something with a price, something that hurts, in hopes of better things “much later” takes years of practice. It requires that we maintain a telescopic view of things. T. J. gave his candy to his friends because, “That’s the way we get back to Heavenly Father.” That’s quite the perspective for a four-year-old little guy. It’s the Heavenly view. It’s a far off view that’s hard to keep hold of. It’s a view I continually work on, because I know it’s one of the keys to continual happiness.
Our lives are full of opportunities to give “now.” Today as I give of myself I want to keep my focus on the “much later” so I can be happy “just a little later,” when all my candy has been generously dispersed and my baggie is empty. “Now and Later,” a big principle in a chewy little package!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
This year the holiday marked by hearts and flowers and candy fell on a Sunday. Saturday night something out of the ordinary struck me and I found myself at Seven-Eleven trying to follow in my mother’s footsteps by putting together a creative idea of my own for my grandkids. I finally settled on the “Now and Later” candies.
Sunday afternoon while dinner was cooking I created a cardstock Valentine for each of the “Grands” that read, “We Love You ‘Now’ and We’ll Love You ‘Later’ and Later and Later…FOREVER!!! Happy Valentines Day Love, Grandma Nan and Grandpa Marv.” Then I put five “Now and Later” candies in ten small baggies and stapled one to the back of each card. I placed the Valentines in my red purse and after the family dinner I passed out the little love notes.
At the close of the day there were several cards left in the bag. I saved them and sent them to the four grandchildren living out of town via an aunt and uncle currier. Better late that never!
My daughter, the mother of three, called to tell me how her little guy T.J. (age four) responded to his Valentine. He had been playing in the yard with four friends. The minute he received the card and candy he ran back outside, opened the little baggie stapled to the back of the card and distributed all the “No and Laters” to his friends. Feeling very good about what he had done he ran back into the house and said, “Mom, I shared my candy with all my friends. That’s the way we get back to Heavenly Father.” Of course his mother gave him an affirming smile.
As she told me the story I thought, “Imagine feeling the joy of service and self-sacrifice at such a young age and with such an Eternal goal in mind! That’s my boy!”
Then she described a scene that occurred later that afternoon. With all his candy philanthropically dispersed T. J. walked in from the yard just in time to observe his siblings hanging out and eating their entire sweet treat with nary a thought of sharing. She described the look on his little face as quite downcast with a less than Eternal perspective in his eyes.
T. J. is good at playing make-believe when it comes to cowboys and cars, but when it comes to his feelings there is no pretending.
Don’t worry T. The “Now and Later Principle” takes a lifetime and maybe beyond to master. Believe me, all the grownups in your world are still working on it. We do something good “now” because we know it will be a blessing “later,” much “later” as in Eternally “later.” What we struggle with is the way we feel just a little “later,” when the pain of the sacrifice kicks in.
Doing what’s right, right “now”, something hard, and something with a price, something that hurts, in hopes of better things “much later” takes years of practice. It requires that we maintain a telescopic view of things. T. J. gave his candy to his friends because, “That’s the way we get back to Heavenly Father.” That’s quite the perspective for a four-year-old little guy. It’s the Heavenly view. It’s a far off view that’s hard to keep hold of. It’s a view I continually work on, because I know it’s one of the keys to continual happiness.
Our lives are full of opportunities to give “now.” Today as I give of myself I want to keep my focus on the “much later” so I can be happy “just a little later,” when all my candy has been generously dispersed and my baggie is empty. “Now and Later,” a big principle in a chewy little package!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Phone Mail Treasure, More Than Please and Thank You - Prayer
My mother recorded a prayer I said independent of her prompting when I was two and a half. These were my words, “We thank Thee for this nice family night and for the gospel and for the Holy Spirit with us and for the good in our hearts, the smiles in our hearts, and that I’ll get better, and for my friends. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
One of the earliest things we are introduced to is prayer. We first learn by listening to the prayers offered over the food, family prayer, and the prayers offered each week at church. We also learn about prayer by practicing as our mothers, fathers and teachers whisper prayerful words in our ear, which we repeat as best we can.
It’s important to grow in our ability to communicate with God. By the time I was a teenager I think I had actually digressed. Prayer became something I did because I was supposed to and not because I was really trying to communicate openly and honestly with my Father. My prayers became same-ish, the kind of prayer referred to as a “parrot prayer” in old Family Home Evening Lessons. I was bored and I was sure Heavenly Father was bored. In addition I had not been successful at being “perfect” so I was sure I was not only dull but I was also a disappointment to Him.
My little sister and I shared a double bed until I went to college. I remember some nights lying there in the darkness saying to her with great older sister authority, “Did you say your prayers?” “Oh no,” she would innocently admit. “I forgot.” Then she would kneel up in bed and pray while I stared face up toward the ceiling barrier between God and me, having no intention of “saying my prays”.
In order to survive adulthood of necessity I’ve had to take a good strong look at my prayer life. In the early days of recovery from compulsive addictive behavior I remember having a prayer with a sponsor or support person, a convert to the Church. At the close of my prayer she said, “Oh, you pray like all the rest, like you’re not really talking to someone.” She proceeded to teach me that in order to really connect with the Lord she had to be free to go outside the “thank you” and “please bless” box and express herself openly, honestly, and with great candor to the Lord. Today as I pray I practice believing that He loves me, that it gives Him great joy to hear from me, that He knows me, that He wants to help me, and that He has power to assist me with anything that’s disturbing me, big or small. I try to pray without perfectionism knowing that He is perfect and I am not. And it’s embarrassing to admit, but even today it’s easy for me to slip back into my same old thoughtless prayer patterns.
I’m still learning to pray, and once again the Lord has used the voice of children to instruct me. Over the past few months I’ve received many calls from my grandchildren. Sometimes I’m not at home to receive the calls so they have learned to leave me a phone message. I love these little communications so much that it’s hard for me to erase them. Recently I’ve been saving them so I can listen more than once to their little bits of communication. There are actually getting to be so many of them I’m in danger of running out of space on my answering machine and it won’t be many more day before I have to go through and push the delete button.
One day while I was listening to a new message from one of ‘the grands” I felt instructed by the Lord. “Nannette” the thought came, “Communication with me can and should be more than ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Just as you value all of the varying phone messages your grandchildren choose to leave for you I treasure the great variety of things you might want to communicate to me.”
I immediately pushed the play button on the answering machine and began to listen. This is what I heard and what I learned:
Sammy Age 5 - “Hello Grandma and Grandpa. This is me, Sammy. Were on the mountain right now, walking down it. Were looking at the sunset. It’s so beautiful! And Grandma Bye Bye.” – The Lord wants us to express the joy we find in the view as we hike up and down the mountains of life.
Gracie age 2 - “Grandma, got “poopies.” Then repeating after her mom, she says, “I went poopies on the potty. Yea Gracie! Bye Bye.”– The Lord wants us to fill Him in on our progress no matter how indelicate the subject matter.
TJ Age 4 and Madeline Age 6 - “Hi Grandma. Happy Birthday yesterday,” TJ says enthusiastically. “Ya… Happy Birthday yesterday,” Madeline concurs. “We’re going to sing you a song” The whole family then chimes in together. “Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you etc….” Then came TJ coda: “We love you love you love you. We love you love you thank you.” – The Lord always appreciates it when we celebrate Him.
Carson Age 5 - “Hi! This is Carson. I just wanted to say that I lost my first tooth, so give me a call. Bye.” The Lord wants to hear about all the firsts, all of the milestones in our lives.
Eliza Age 11 – “ Hi Grandma, I’m calling to invite you to a special Activity Day at the church where we’re all inviting our Grandmas. We’re going to have dinner and play a game. Can you come?” – The Lord loves to be invited along wherever we go.
Matthew, Jack and Esther Age 1 – These little one’s leave messages with the aid of their mothers that sound like this one:
“Say, ‘Hello, Hello.’”
“Say, ‘Hi, I love you Grandma.”
“Say, ‘Grandma.’”
“Say, ‘Hello.’”
“Say, ‘I love you.’”
“Say, ‘Miss you.’”
“Say, ‘Bye.’”
“Say, ‘Happy, sleepy, doggy, bird, tree.’”
“Say, ‘Bye Love you.’”
Following each prompt from the mom came the sweet voice of a baby learning to put sounds and meaning together for communication. I love to hear the sound of their voices. I think the Lord loves the sound of our individual voices. I believe He loves to hear from us even when all we can manage to voice is His name.
Carson Age 5 – For Carson’s Birthday I bought him two new big puzzles with themes I thought he would enjoy (Cars and Curious George). I’m not sure what he was expecting, but to his mother’s dismay his response to the gift was less that enthusiastic. Later I received this message on my machine. “Sorry Grandma that I was being such a twit and I did that puzzle and it’s really big but not bigger than me. Thank you. Bye. Give me a call.” – The Lord needs to hear that we recognize it when we’ve been less than appreciative.
Ethan Age 8 – After Church and before the Sunday family dinner I pushed the play button and heard, “Grandma, this is Ethan. We’re going to tithing settlement and choir practice at 4:00 and then my mom will come home and turn the beans on to heat so I don’t know what time we’ll be there. We might be there at 5:30 and not 5:00…just so if there’s a problem call my dad’s cell phone.” – The Lord loves to hear what we have planned.
Carson Age 5 – “Hi Grandma. This is Carson. I just wanted to read you a story and its really funny…so bye…give me a call.” – The Lord has a sense of humor. He likes to have us share things in life that bring a smile and a chuckle, the things that bring us joy.
My mother tells another story about my early prayer life. I was not quite three years old. She was kneeling next to me listening as I prayed before jumping into bed. We had just moved into a very small house my parents affectionately referred to as “the Chalet.” Apparently we were not quite settled in. Perhaps I had heard my parents discussing the “how to’s” of moving their family of four, with a third baby on the way, into such small quarters. In the middle of the prayer mother says I started sharing with Heavenly Father in great detail exactly how we were going to arrange various pieces of furniture and household items in the tiny space so that everything would fit.
As I went on and on my mother, who had her eyes closed, says that the way I was speaking to Heavenly Father was so real, so authentic, that she knew if she opened up her eyes she would see Him standing in the room, taking in with great interest all that I was sharing. She remembers that at the conclusion of the prayer I said with great expectation, “Good idea Heavenly Father?” There was apparently no doubt in my mind that He was there and that He was interested in the details of my little girl life.
Tonight when I kneel to pray I want to be as real with my Heavenly Father as I was back then. I think I’ll imagine that my communications to Him are so precious that they are filling up all the endless space in His phone mail and He just can stand the idea of pushing the delete button and never will.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, March 7, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
One of the earliest things we are introduced to is prayer. We first learn by listening to the prayers offered over the food, family prayer, and the prayers offered each week at church. We also learn about prayer by practicing as our mothers, fathers and teachers whisper prayerful words in our ear, which we repeat as best we can.
It’s important to grow in our ability to communicate with God. By the time I was a teenager I think I had actually digressed. Prayer became something I did because I was supposed to and not because I was really trying to communicate openly and honestly with my Father. My prayers became same-ish, the kind of prayer referred to as a “parrot prayer” in old Family Home Evening Lessons. I was bored and I was sure Heavenly Father was bored. In addition I had not been successful at being “perfect” so I was sure I was not only dull but I was also a disappointment to Him.
My little sister and I shared a double bed until I went to college. I remember some nights lying there in the darkness saying to her with great older sister authority, “Did you say your prayers?” “Oh no,” she would innocently admit. “I forgot.” Then she would kneel up in bed and pray while I stared face up toward the ceiling barrier between God and me, having no intention of “saying my prays”.
In order to survive adulthood of necessity I’ve had to take a good strong look at my prayer life. In the early days of recovery from compulsive addictive behavior I remember having a prayer with a sponsor or support person, a convert to the Church. At the close of my prayer she said, “Oh, you pray like all the rest, like you’re not really talking to someone.” She proceeded to teach me that in order to really connect with the Lord she had to be free to go outside the “thank you” and “please bless” box and express herself openly, honestly, and with great candor to the Lord. Today as I pray I practice believing that He loves me, that it gives Him great joy to hear from me, that He knows me, that He wants to help me, and that He has power to assist me with anything that’s disturbing me, big or small. I try to pray without perfectionism knowing that He is perfect and I am not. And it’s embarrassing to admit, but even today it’s easy for me to slip back into my same old thoughtless prayer patterns.
I’m still learning to pray, and once again the Lord has used the voice of children to instruct me. Over the past few months I’ve received many calls from my grandchildren. Sometimes I’m not at home to receive the calls so they have learned to leave me a phone message. I love these little communications so much that it’s hard for me to erase them. Recently I’ve been saving them so I can listen more than once to their little bits of communication. There are actually getting to be so many of them I’m in danger of running out of space on my answering machine and it won’t be many more day before I have to go through and push the delete button.
One day while I was listening to a new message from one of ‘the grands” I felt instructed by the Lord. “Nannette” the thought came, “Communication with me can and should be more than ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Just as you value all of the varying phone messages your grandchildren choose to leave for you I treasure the great variety of things you might want to communicate to me.”
I immediately pushed the play button on the answering machine and began to listen. This is what I heard and what I learned:
Sammy Age 5 - “Hello Grandma and Grandpa. This is me, Sammy. Were on the mountain right now, walking down it. Were looking at the sunset. It’s so beautiful! And Grandma Bye Bye.” – The Lord wants us to express the joy we find in the view as we hike up and down the mountains of life.
Gracie age 2 - “Grandma, got “poopies.” Then repeating after her mom, she says, “I went poopies on the potty. Yea Gracie! Bye Bye.”– The Lord wants us to fill Him in on our progress no matter how indelicate the subject matter.
TJ Age 4 and Madeline Age 6 - “Hi Grandma. Happy Birthday yesterday,” TJ says enthusiastically. “Ya… Happy Birthday yesterday,” Madeline concurs. “We’re going to sing you a song” The whole family then chimes in together. “Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you etc….” Then came TJ coda: “We love you love you love you. We love you love you thank you.” – The Lord always appreciates it when we celebrate Him.
Carson Age 5 - “Hi! This is Carson. I just wanted to say that I lost my first tooth, so give me a call. Bye.” The Lord wants to hear about all the firsts, all of the milestones in our lives.
Eliza Age 11 – “ Hi Grandma, I’m calling to invite you to a special Activity Day at the church where we’re all inviting our Grandmas. We’re going to have dinner and play a game. Can you come?” – The Lord loves to be invited along wherever we go.
Matthew, Jack and Esther Age 1 – These little one’s leave messages with the aid of their mothers that sound like this one:
“Say, ‘Hello, Hello.’”
“Say, ‘Hi, I love you Grandma.”
“Say, ‘Grandma.’”
“Say, ‘Hello.’”
“Say, ‘I love you.’”
“Say, ‘Miss you.’”
“Say, ‘Bye.’”
“Say, ‘Happy, sleepy, doggy, bird, tree.’”
“Say, ‘Bye Love you.’”
Following each prompt from the mom came the sweet voice of a baby learning to put sounds and meaning together for communication. I love to hear the sound of their voices. I think the Lord loves the sound of our individual voices. I believe He loves to hear from us even when all we can manage to voice is His name.
Carson Age 5 – For Carson’s Birthday I bought him two new big puzzles with themes I thought he would enjoy (Cars and Curious George). I’m not sure what he was expecting, but to his mother’s dismay his response to the gift was less that enthusiastic. Later I received this message on my machine. “Sorry Grandma that I was being such a twit and I did that puzzle and it’s really big but not bigger than me. Thank you. Bye. Give me a call.” – The Lord needs to hear that we recognize it when we’ve been less than appreciative.
Ethan Age 8 – After Church and before the Sunday family dinner I pushed the play button and heard, “Grandma, this is Ethan. We’re going to tithing settlement and choir practice at 4:00 and then my mom will come home and turn the beans on to heat so I don’t know what time we’ll be there. We might be there at 5:30 and not 5:00…just so if there’s a problem call my dad’s cell phone.” – The Lord loves to hear what we have planned.
Carson Age 5 – “Hi Grandma. This is Carson. I just wanted to read you a story and its really funny…so bye…give me a call.” – The Lord has a sense of humor. He likes to have us share things in life that bring a smile and a chuckle, the things that bring us joy.
My mother tells another story about my early prayer life. I was not quite three years old. She was kneeling next to me listening as I prayed before jumping into bed. We had just moved into a very small house my parents affectionately referred to as “the Chalet.” Apparently we were not quite settled in. Perhaps I had heard my parents discussing the “how to’s” of moving their family of four, with a third baby on the way, into such small quarters. In the middle of the prayer mother says I started sharing with Heavenly Father in great detail exactly how we were going to arrange various pieces of furniture and household items in the tiny space so that everything would fit.
As I went on and on my mother, who had her eyes closed, says that the way I was speaking to Heavenly Father was so real, so authentic, that she knew if she opened up her eyes she would see Him standing in the room, taking in with great interest all that I was sharing. She remembers that at the conclusion of the prayer I said with great expectation, “Good idea Heavenly Father?” There was apparently no doubt in my mind that He was there and that He was interested in the details of my little girl life.
Tonight when I kneel to pray I want to be as real with my Heavenly Father as I was back then. I think I’ll imagine that my communications to Him are so precious that they are filling up all the endless space in His phone mail and He just can stand the idea of pushing the delete button and never will.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, March 7, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Fruit Snack Rules – Step 3 Trust in God
The other day my kids were joking around, thanking me with a little sarcastic good-humor for all the days they finished the school hours with, “that batch of chocolate chip cookies you always had baking in the oven.” They were kidding of course. My struggle with food addiction and all the bad press about sugar and children kept me from doing much baking.
Now I’m the Grandma of ten treat loving children and I do understand the fun of having something to share with them. However, the only homemade goodies at this grandma’s house are the ones their parents bring to Sunday dinner, or birthdays, or game nights. The sweets I personally keep in stock for “the Grands” are Fruit Snacks. They meet three important criteria. They don’t tempt me, they don’t make a mess, and the kids love them.
There are a few rules the children have come to understand about Grandma’s Fruit Snacks:
Lesson #1 The first rule is that the Fruit Snacks are a gift from Grandma and they are passed out spontaneously by Grandma or else given upon request by Grandma. Initially I kept the box full of the gummy treats in a place where little hands could reach, and reach they did. Now I keep them up high so the children cannot easily help themselves. I want them to know that they are a little present from me to them, not just something they can take, and take for granted, but something a little special. They all know exactly where they’re kept though, and every so often one of the little bandits drags a chair over to the cupboard, climbs up, and grabs a pack plus a few extras to pass out to the rest of the visiting siblings and cousins. That’s a no no!
Lesson #2 The second rule is that it’s not enough to simply remember the “ask first” rule. There’s the little matter of how you ask and when you ask. Fruit Snacks are not passed out to children who are grumpy, demanding, impatient, or who make an untimely request- before dinner, during dinner, or on the heels of some other family treat. Attitude and timing are definite considerations.
As you know by now I think it’s very instructive to watch and participate in earthly parenting and grand parenting and at the same time think about myself, a child of Heavenly Parents. I believe that with regard to Heavenly Father’s gifts the Fruit Snack rules also apply. Everything that’s good and good for me comes from God. Some things are given spontaneously without even asking and some are given by way of request. “Nannette” I can imagine Him saying, “There are many things in life I want to bless you with. I have placed them just out of reach. The solution is not to figuratively drag a chair to My shelf marked ‘for Nannette’ and then help yourself. Remember, ‘Ask and ye shall receive.’”
Next there’s the important matter of how to ask God. I am coming to understand that I can do the asking/seeking part and still miss the mark. Earthly parents work very hard to teach children the proper attitude for receiving assistance. When approached for help by a demanding, bossy, whiny child who wishes to be in charge of all the details, we have all been heard to say, “Now wait a minute. Maybe you need to think of a better way to ask. I think you’d better fix your attitude. Try that again.” Going to our Heavenly Father to have needs met is no different. I have to go to Him in humility, knowing that He knows best. I have to allow Him to set the terms. I have felt Him say to me at times, “Excuse me, could you think of a better way to ask?”
One of my daughters called me yesterday to tell me how things were going in her world with three children under six. “So mom, Jack is SO naughty! This morning while I was in folding laundry he went into the kitchen, pulled a chair over to the counter, and climbed up onto the counter. When I found him he was slathered in butter. The cube of butter was covered with little finger marks and the knobs of the kitchen sink faucet were all greasy. Apparently he’d tried to clean himself up by himself.” He's just 22-months-old and when she found him covered in butter all he could say is, “Ooooooh.”
My other daughter shares that 18-month-old Esters recently had her eyes on the cookies stored atop the kitchen cupboards in the little space between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling. To her mother’s horror Esther decided to see of she could get a bit closer to the treat using the oven door and cooking racks. Good Grief! Helping ourselves can be very dangerous!
It’s been a while since God found my fingerprints all over something sitting on the counter that I shouldn’t be eating, but when I think about it, hardly a day goes by that I don’t drag the kitchen chair over the counter and try to help myself (figuratively speaking) to something I want immediately and think I deserve, while imagining that God is in some far off corner of the universe doing His housekeeping. I wonder if God ever calls one of His angle friends over to see what I’ve gotten myself into? Today I want to live by the Fruit Snack rules. I want to ask and ask with humility and with respect.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above...” above my reach, “and cometh down from the Father of lights...” (see James 1:17) from my Heavenly Father and my Savior, who see in perfect light exactly what will, in the end, bring me the greatest measure of joy.
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Now I’m the Grandma of ten treat loving children and I do understand the fun of having something to share with them. However, the only homemade goodies at this grandma’s house are the ones their parents bring to Sunday dinner, or birthdays, or game nights. The sweets I personally keep in stock for “the Grands” are Fruit Snacks. They meet three important criteria. They don’t tempt me, they don’t make a mess, and the kids love them.
There are a few rules the children have come to understand about Grandma’s Fruit Snacks:
Lesson #1 The first rule is that the Fruit Snacks are a gift from Grandma and they are passed out spontaneously by Grandma or else given upon request by Grandma. Initially I kept the box full of the gummy treats in a place where little hands could reach, and reach they did. Now I keep them up high so the children cannot easily help themselves. I want them to know that they are a little present from me to them, not just something they can take, and take for granted, but something a little special. They all know exactly where they’re kept though, and every so often one of the little bandits drags a chair over to the cupboard, climbs up, and grabs a pack plus a few extras to pass out to the rest of the visiting siblings and cousins. That’s a no no!
Lesson #2 The second rule is that it’s not enough to simply remember the “ask first” rule. There’s the little matter of how you ask and when you ask. Fruit Snacks are not passed out to children who are grumpy, demanding, impatient, or who make an untimely request- before dinner, during dinner, or on the heels of some other family treat. Attitude and timing are definite considerations.
As you know by now I think it’s very instructive to watch and participate in earthly parenting and grand parenting and at the same time think about myself, a child of Heavenly Parents. I believe that with regard to Heavenly Father’s gifts the Fruit Snack rules also apply. Everything that’s good and good for me comes from God. Some things are given spontaneously without even asking and some are given by way of request. “Nannette” I can imagine Him saying, “There are many things in life I want to bless you with. I have placed them just out of reach. The solution is not to figuratively drag a chair to My shelf marked ‘for Nannette’ and then help yourself. Remember, ‘Ask and ye shall receive.’”
Next there’s the important matter of how to ask God. I am coming to understand that I can do the asking/seeking part and still miss the mark. Earthly parents work very hard to teach children the proper attitude for receiving assistance. When approached for help by a demanding, bossy, whiny child who wishes to be in charge of all the details, we have all been heard to say, “Now wait a minute. Maybe you need to think of a better way to ask. I think you’d better fix your attitude. Try that again.” Going to our Heavenly Father to have needs met is no different. I have to go to Him in humility, knowing that He knows best. I have to allow Him to set the terms. I have felt Him say to me at times, “Excuse me, could you think of a better way to ask?”
One of my daughters called me yesterday to tell me how things were going in her world with three children under six. “So mom, Jack is SO naughty! This morning while I was in folding laundry he went into the kitchen, pulled a chair over to the counter, and climbed up onto the counter. When I found him he was slathered in butter. The cube of butter was covered with little finger marks and the knobs of the kitchen sink faucet were all greasy. Apparently he’d tried to clean himself up by himself.” He's just 22-months-old and when she found him covered in butter all he could say is, “Ooooooh.”
My other daughter shares that 18-month-old Esters recently had her eyes on the cookies stored atop the kitchen cupboards in the little space between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling. To her mother’s horror Esther decided to see of she could get a bit closer to the treat using the oven door and cooking racks. Good Grief! Helping ourselves can be very dangerous!
It’s been a while since God found my fingerprints all over something sitting on the counter that I shouldn’t be eating, but when I think about it, hardly a day goes by that I don’t drag the kitchen chair over the counter and try to help myself (figuratively speaking) to something I want immediately and think I deserve, while imagining that God is in some far off corner of the universe doing His housekeeping. I wonder if God ever calls one of His angle friends over to see what I’ve gotten myself into? Today I want to live by the Fruit Snack rules. I want to ask and ask with humility and with respect.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above...” above my reach, “and cometh down from the Father of lights...” (see James 1:17) from my Heavenly Father and my Savior, who see in perfect light exactly what will, in the end, bring me the greatest measure of joy.
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Only Real Gift in the Room – Steps 6 and 7
A good friend of mine invited me to a party over the holidays. It was a gift exchange. Each woman invited was asked to purchase an ornament and bring it to the party wrapped. Having had no experience with this kind of an activity I asked the hostess, “What kind of an ornament?”
“Oh, you know, one you think everyone in the room will want when they see it! And of course, it’s all about the packaging.” Those were my only instructions. A few days later I found myself browsing in a Christmas shop when suddenly it dawned on me, the procrastinating Christmas elf, that this was the perfect moment to find my ornament.
I walked around the shop for a long time. There were hundreds of ornaments, every kind imaginable. I started collecting my favorites as I walked about. I soon had them hanging in all ten fingers, unable to make any kind of a choice. “I need some help,” I thought. I called my daughter and started describing the type of party I had been invited to and the ornament choices swinging from each of my fingers, with hopes that she could help me. It didn’t take me long to see that this was not going to help at all. I’m sure she thought I was crazy, calling her about such a little decision and no way for her to actually tell what I was looking at!
Finally I walked up to the check out desk. Maybe these people have some kind of experience with other indecisive women coming in on this kind of errand. Happily they knew just what I was talking about and even which ornament had been most widely chosen for such an occasion. I finally made my purchase!
The hostess, my friend, had created a beautiful, very inviting atmosphere. Her home was luscious with Christmas everywhere. Each woman placed her unmarked wrapped package under the tree. We snacked and chatted until the time for opening arrived. We each picked a number out of a hat and then the games began. Woman number one went to the tree, choose a gift, and unwrapped it. There were lots of oohs and aahs. Then woman number two had the opportunity to either take a gift from under the tree or from woman number one. Which would it be - the known and the unknown? We proceeded like that until every woman had a gift and had had the opportunity to steal a gift from a friend (or someone who use to be her friend). It was a lot of fun! Christmas was wonderful.
It’s January now. I stayed up very late Saturday night getting my after Christmas personal finances back in order and making a budget for January. “Wow, I’m glad to have made it through one more year,” I thought as I closed the books. “The gift giving frenzy of Christmas is all over, or is it?” a little jingle bell went off in my mind:
“Nannette, the world gives gifts at Christmas to symbolize the Savior’s gifts to the world, but the Savior’s gifts to the world are not limited just to Christmas. For Him, gift giving is a year round activity.”
My mind wandered back to my first Christmas party of this season, the “Ornament Exchange.” I dedicate the following thought to all of us who are so in need of the blessings of Christmas the through out the year:
“The great gift of Christmas is The Christ and the great gift of The Christ is His power to help us endure the trials of life and make progress toward Him, day after day after day, every day of the year. The Lord wants to give you the best gift in the room, the one that will be fought over, the one that you are willing to fight for. Fight for it today my friend. The Lord wants you to have it! He brought it to the party hoping you would want it more than anything else under the tree. His gift is wrapped in His flesh and in His blood. He spent everything He had for the right to extend it to you. It’s yours for the taking, if you want it. Don’t trade it for something unknown or something that seems more glamorous. Hold it tight. There is nothing worth the trade. It’s the only real gift in the room.”
Have A Merry Christmas Every Day Of The Year!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, January 11, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“Oh, you know, one you think everyone in the room will want when they see it! And of course, it’s all about the packaging.” Those were my only instructions. A few days later I found myself browsing in a Christmas shop when suddenly it dawned on me, the procrastinating Christmas elf, that this was the perfect moment to find my ornament.
I walked around the shop for a long time. There were hundreds of ornaments, every kind imaginable. I started collecting my favorites as I walked about. I soon had them hanging in all ten fingers, unable to make any kind of a choice. “I need some help,” I thought. I called my daughter and started describing the type of party I had been invited to and the ornament choices swinging from each of my fingers, with hopes that she could help me. It didn’t take me long to see that this was not going to help at all. I’m sure she thought I was crazy, calling her about such a little decision and no way for her to actually tell what I was looking at!
Finally I walked up to the check out desk. Maybe these people have some kind of experience with other indecisive women coming in on this kind of errand. Happily they knew just what I was talking about and even which ornament had been most widely chosen for such an occasion. I finally made my purchase!
The hostess, my friend, had created a beautiful, very inviting atmosphere. Her home was luscious with Christmas everywhere. Each woman placed her unmarked wrapped package under the tree. We snacked and chatted until the time for opening arrived. We each picked a number out of a hat and then the games began. Woman number one went to the tree, choose a gift, and unwrapped it. There were lots of oohs and aahs. Then woman number two had the opportunity to either take a gift from under the tree or from woman number one. Which would it be - the known and the unknown? We proceeded like that until every woman had a gift and had had the opportunity to steal a gift from a friend (or someone who use to be her friend). It was a lot of fun! Christmas was wonderful.
It’s January now. I stayed up very late Saturday night getting my after Christmas personal finances back in order and making a budget for January. “Wow, I’m glad to have made it through one more year,” I thought as I closed the books. “The gift giving frenzy of Christmas is all over, or is it?” a little jingle bell went off in my mind:
“Nannette, the world gives gifts at Christmas to symbolize the Savior’s gifts to the world, but the Savior’s gifts to the world are not limited just to Christmas. For Him, gift giving is a year round activity.”
My mind wandered back to my first Christmas party of this season, the “Ornament Exchange.” I dedicate the following thought to all of us who are so in need of the blessings of Christmas the through out the year:
“The great gift of Christmas is The Christ and the great gift of The Christ is His power to help us endure the trials of life and make progress toward Him, day after day after day, every day of the year. The Lord wants to give you the best gift in the room, the one that will be fought over, the one that you are willing to fight for. Fight for it today my friend. The Lord wants you to have it! He brought it to the party hoping you would want it more than anything else under the tree. His gift is wrapped in His flesh and in His blood. He spent everything He had for the right to extend it to you. It’s yours for the taking, if you want it. Don’t trade it for something unknown or something that seems more glamorous. Hold it tight. There is nothing worth the trade. It’s the only real gift in the room.”
Have A Merry Christmas Every Day Of The Year!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, January 11, 2010.
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Reindeer Resistance – All Steps
On the Monday morning before Christmas I went to the gym for my usual first day of the week work out, water aerobics, a class I love. I was fully prepared to swim, but as I walked past the pool and glanced at my classmates who had already entered the water I had second and even third thoughts.
Now believe me, I’m fully aware that water aerobics is not now and likely never will be an Olympic sport. “Real athletes” and “gym regulars” have been known to poke fun at all those splashing about in the shallow end of the pool who seem to be suffering from the delusion that they are actually “working out.” We use things like Styrofoam weights and “noodles” to facilitate our workout, not exactly the equipment you’d love to have your picture taken with for the latest fitness magazine. For many reasons it would be nice if water aerobics were a private affair instead of an activity surrounded by window glass walls and situated in the corner of a very busy gym. Putting all self-consciousness aside, I’m a regular, and water aerobics has been a very real and effective form of exercise for me.
So what was the cause of my resistance on this particular day before Christmas 2009? As I walked toward the door I glanced in at my classmates and recognized right away that a new piece of equipment had been added. Placed atop the head of each swimmer was a bold set of reindeer felt antlers, some red, some green, and all sets complete with jingling bells. Front and center was our teacher whose noggin was covered in a red fluffy Santa hat. She was the “Little Saint Nick” and we were apparently to be her “Run, Run, Running Reindeer.”
Though I love our well-meaning teacher and knew this was her contribution to our holiday cheer, I was mortified. As I walked past the window toward the dressing room the whole silly looking class of women smiled and waved to me. There was no discrete way out of this. They had all seen my swim bag and I needed to exercise. I entered the pool area. Maybe if I completely ignore the obvious they’ll forget. But oh no! The teacher immediately exited the pool, reached into her little bag, and brought forth a set of red felt jingling Christmas dress ups for me. Apparently there were plenty to go around.
For the next hour we exercised hard and we laughed hard too! It was all very good for me I’m sure (the exercise and the “antlers”). I tend to be too self-conscious and to take myself a bit too seriously. In recovery I’m learning that as I live right there is always the possibility that I will look foolish to others.
Recently in my scripture study I ran across a phrase I have not understood and have previously passed over. This time for some reason I stayed with it until I had a better understanding. It was in 2 Nephi 9:18 which says: “But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.”
The concept I couldn’t grasp was what it meant to “despise the shame” of the world? So, I got out my dictionary. The word despise means “to regard as beneath one’s notice and unworthy of consideration or interest.” The shame of the world is the guilt or disgrace that the world tries to lay on us as we try to “choose the right.”
In short we “despise the shame of the world” when we are willing to go forward and take action based not on how we might come across to “the world” but based on our best understanding of God’s will for us. We let go of the reaction of the world and of those who are of the world, even at the risk of looking silly, foolish, naive, or even down right ridiculous.
We are called to do good and let go of the reaction of others. In the world there will be never ending opportunities to work on our ability to focus on the Lord and proceed, unashamed. So don’t you worry! Your next opportunity to practice this principle is probably just around the corner, inside the gym, the restaurant, the theater, at church, at the mall, or right in your own home.
My desire is to set aside pride wherever it exists within me. I think I should keep a set of those reindeer antlers around as a funny reminder of a very real, very serious divine challenge. Figuratively speaking what each of us has to do is practice placing those reindeer antlers on our heads and jumping in the pool in every aspect of our lives.
Happy New Year to all!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, January 7, 2010
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Now believe me, I’m fully aware that water aerobics is not now and likely never will be an Olympic sport. “Real athletes” and “gym regulars” have been known to poke fun at all those splashing about in the shallow end of the pool who seem to be suffering from the delusion that they are actually “working out.” We use things like Styrofoam weights and “noodles” to facilitate our workout, not exactly the equipment you’d love to have your picture taken with for the latest fitness magazine. For many reasons it would be nice if water aerobics were a private affair instead of an activity surrounded by window glass walls and situated in the corner of a very busy gym. Putting all self-consciousness aside, I’m a regular, and water aerobics has been a very real and effective form of exercise for me.
So what was the cause of my resistance on this particular day before Christmas 2009? As I walked toward the door I glanced in at my classmates and recognized right away that a new piece of equipment had been added. Placed atop the head of each swimmer was a bold set of reindeer felt antlers, some red, some green, and all sets complete with jingling bells. Front and center was our teacher whose noggin was covered in a red fluffy Santa hat. She was the “Little Saint Nick” and we were apparently to be her “Run, Run, Running Reindeer.”
Though I love our well-meaning teacher and knew this was her contribution to our holiday cheer, I was mortified. As I walked past the window toward the dressing room the whole silly looking class of women smiled and waved to me. There was no discrete way out of this. They had all seen my swim bag and I needed to exercise. I entered the pool area. Maybe if I completely ignore the obvious they’ll forget. But oh no! The teacher immediately exited the pool, reached into her little bag, and brought forth a set of red felt jingling Christmas dress ups for me. Apparently there were plenty to go around.
For the next hour we exercised hard and we laughed hard too! It was all very good for me I’m sure (the exercise and the “antlers”). I tend to be too self-conscious and to take myself a bit too seriously. In recovery I’m learning that as I live right there is always the possibility that I will look foolish to others.
Recently in my scripture study I ran across a phrase I have not understood and have previously passed over. This time for some reason I stayed with it until I had a better understanding. It was in 2 Nephi 9:18 which says: “But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.”
The concept I couldn’t grasp was what it meant to “despise the shame” of the world? So, I got out my dictionary. The word despise means “to regard as beneath one’s notice and unworthy of consideration or interest.” The shame of the world is the guilt or disgrace that the world tries to lay on us as we try to “choose the right.”
In short we “despise the shame of the world” when we are willing to go forward and take action based not on how we might come across to “the world” but based on our best understanding of God’s will for us. We let go of the reaction of the world and of those who are of the world, even at the risk of looking silly, foolish, naive, or even down right ridiculous.
We are called to do good and let go of the reaction of others. In the world there will be never ending opportunities to work on our ability to focus on the Lord and proceed, unashamed. So don’t you worry! Your next opportunity to practice this principle is probably just around the corner, inside the gym, the restaurant, the theater, at church, at the mall, or right in your own home.
My desire is to set aside pride wherever it exists within me. I think I should keep a set of those reindeer antlers around as a funny reminder of a very real, very serious divine challenge. Figuratively speaking what each of us has to do is practice placing those reindeer antlers on our heads and jumping in the pool in every aspect of our lives.
Happy New Year to all!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, January 7, 2010
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
With One or With All - Steps 1, 2, and 3
I clearly remember the day I sent my first child off to public school. She wasn’t the traditional child of five. She was a teenager entering junior high school after being taught at home for six years. She was the first of five to leave my little educational nest. I prepared her that day with all the things you’d expect: a sack lunch, pocket folders, new pencils and pens, a spiral notebook, a map of the school, and a lot of “You’ll be OK! You’re going to do just fine!”
I waved good-bye as she headed out into the fall air to catch the school bus. As I turned to go into the house and face the new day with my home school class, smaller by one, something very painful tightened in my throat and tears started to spill from my eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute!” I called through the opening in the door to the little group of four, who were giggling and eating Cheerios and bananas around the kitchen table.
I didn’t venture too far off, but that morning I walked around the block a good many times before going back in the house to be the mother and teacher. I cried and I talked to God. “Lord, if I can’t teach all of them, I’m not sure I can or want to teach any of them. It feels sad. It feels incomplete.”
That was the morning the Spirit told me I had to become forever willing to be fully present with the members of my family at hand. “Work with the ones you are with Nannette. The family is not an all or nothing proposition, not the Lord’s vast family or your little family.” He reminded me that my all or nothing mother mentality extended into subjects other that education. It threatened the way I felt about spiritual family activities, recreational family activities, celebrations and holidays. This was the morning the Lord invited me to accept the truth that as my family grew I would not always have everyone at family prayer, family night, family scripture study, family dinner, on the family vacation, at the wedding, sitting around the table at Thanksgiving dinner, or at the yearly Christmas Sing Along.
I remember finally pulling myself together that morning and gathering my group for opening prayer, the Pledge of Allegiance, a brand new scripture and a poem to memorize, new books, and a new schedule. Without missing too many beats we were off and running. Since that day I’ve had many “family” experiences with three out of five, two out of five, and even one out of five. I have felt the Lord smile at my willingness to participate with Him in family activities with all those willing and able to be present.
For many of us the joy of the holidays is threatened by the sadness we feel over the ones who are missing for whatever reason. Today, when I’m tempted to allow the joy I might experience, with the ones I’m with, to be overshadowed by the emptiness of a less than perfect attendance, I get honest with the Lord. I say to Him, “Lord, I just want everyone present and accounted for.” “Me too!” I seem to hear my Heavenly Father whisper. “Me too. But just like you, though my heart longs for the presence of all my children, I can’t hold myself back from the ones who are present. I give myself fully to being, teaching, loving, and celebrating with one or with all.
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 31, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I waved good-bye as she headed out into the fall air to catch the school bus. As I turned to go into the house and face the new day with my home school class, smaller by one, something very painful tightened in my throat and tears started to spill from my eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute!” I called through the opening in the door to the little group of four, who were giggling and eating Cheerios and bananas around the kitchen table.
I didn’t venture too far off, but that morning I walked around the block a good many times before going back in the house to be the mother and teacher. I cried and I talked to God. “Lord, if I can’t teach all of them, I’m not sure I can or want to teach any of them. It feels sad. It feels incomplete.”
That was the morning the Spirit told me I had to become forever willing to be fully present with the members of my family at hand. “Work with the ones you are with Nannette. The family is not an all or nothing proposition, not the Lord’s vast family or your little family.” He reminded me that my all or nothing mother mentality extended into subjects other that education. It threatened the way I felt about spiritual family activities, recreational family activities, celebrations and holidays. This was the morning the Lord invited me to accept the truth that as my family grew I would not always have everyone at family prayer, family night, family scripture study, family dinner, on the family vacation, at the wedding, sitting around the table at Thanksgiving dinner, or at the yearly Christmas Sing Along.
I remember finally pulling myself together that morning and gathering my group for opening prayer, the Pledge of Allegiance, a brand new scripture and a poem to memorize, new books, and a new schedule. Without missing too many beats we were off and running. Since that day I’ve had many “family” experiences with three out of five, two out of five, and even one out of five. I have felt the Lord smile at my willingness to participate with Him in family activities with all those willing and able to be present.
For many of us the joy of the holidays is threatened by the sadness we feel over the ones who are missing for whatever reason. Today, when I’m tempted to allow the joy I might experience, with the ones I’m with, to be overshadowed by the emptiness of a less than perfect attendance, I get honest with the Lord. I say to Him, “Lord, I just want everyone present and accounted for.” “Me too!” I seem to hear my Heavenly Father whisper. “Me too. But just like you, though my heart longs for the presence of all my children, I can’t hold myself back from the ones who are present. I give myself fully to being, teaching, loving, and celebrating with one or with all.
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 31, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, December 7, 2009
“Michael’s Thanksgiving Day Prayer” - Abstinence
It was finally pie time. So many pies! So many flavors! So many decisions! Pie with whip cream? Pie with ice cream? “Maybe just a little of both,” I heard someone say. The turkey and rolls started to make their way back out onto on counter, something to balance out all that pie I suppose. “Hey, who brought the eggnog and seven-up?” questioned one of the uncles with great excitement!
The Thanksgiving Day sun was setting. The cousins were starting to get a little wound up. My grown children, the parents, were starting to say things like, “Stop! Remember we don’t run in Grandma’s house!” and “No you may not have a fourth piece of pie!” In our family, generally speaking, the later it gets the more energy the children have. With 17 children and 21 adults we were almost outnumbered and it was time to either mesmerize them by playing The Santa Clause 1, 2, 3, and 4 videos, or for the adults to gather up all the energizer turkeys and head toward home for a long post pie nap.
I stood at the kitchen sink visiting with my brother. “Before we leave,” he said, “I’ve got a story to tell you: This morning before driving down to your house for dinner I gathered every one for family prayer. I called on Michael (age 14)to pray for the family and this is what he prayed, ‘Heavenly Father,Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick.’”
We had a good laugh. I’ve prayed that prayer myself a thousand times. I’ve been so certain Heavenly Father would hear my prayer and grant me my wish that I’ve gone ahead and put him to the test. Time and time again I have hoped for a negligible outcome as I’ve taken in more food and more calories than my body has the capacity to deal with in a healthy way only to be shocked at the after pains. Without exception I felt sick not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.
I don’t think you have to be a compulsive eater to relate to Michael’s prayer. In many Addiction Recovery Meetings I’ve heard participants say, “Hi, I’m _____ and I’m addicted to MORE.” It doesn’t seem to matter if our destructive practices center around the computer, the bar, the refrigerator, the Mall, or the neighborhood pharmacy, our prayer has been much like Michaels Thanksgiving Day request. “Dear Heavenly Father, Please, just this time, grant me the miracle of indulging without consequence.”
This year I am happy to be a compulsive eater who is a grateful Thanksgiving Dinner survivor, ninety-seven pounds down from my top weight, but I certainly have not finished my course work on the subject of cause and effect. I had to smile at the Lord’s sense of humor the other night. I started developing this little piece of writing late in the evening. Before climbing into the covers and without thought of what I had just finished writing, I knelt at the foot of my bed and said, “Dear Heavenly Father, Once again I’ve stayed up much too late. I know I should have been in bed a long time ago, but please bless me with the ability to wake up early, feeling great, and with energy to accomplish good thing in the morning.” As I whispered these words Heavenward I could almost see the corners of the Lord’s mouth turn up just a bit, and with a twinkle in his eye, and His brows slightly raised He seemed to whisper back, “Oh, I see Nannette, might you be asking for the miracle of indulging without consequence? It reminds me a of the Thanksgiving prayer of a little by I know, ‘Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick?’”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 7, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The Thanksgiving Day sun was setting. The cousins were starting to get a little wound up. My grown children, the parents, were starting to say things like, “Stop! Remember we don’t run in Grandma’s house!” and “No you may not have a fourth piece of pie!” In our family, generally speaking, the later it gets the more energy the children have. With 17 children and 21 adults we were almost outnumbered and it was time to either mesmerize them by playing The Santa Clause 1, 2, 3, and 4 videos, or for the adults to gather up all the energizer turkeys and head toward home for a long post pie nap.
I stood at the kitchen sink visiting with my brother. “Before we leave,” he said, “I’ve got a story to tell you: This morning before driving down to your house for dinner I gathered every one for family prayer. I called on Michael (age 14)to pray for the family and this is what he prayed, ‘Heavenly Father,Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick.’”
We had a good laugh. I’ve prayed that prayer myself a thousand times. I’ve been so certain Heavenly Father would hear my prayer and grant me my wish that I’ve gone ahead and put him to the test. Time and time again I have hoped for a negligible outcome as I’ve taken in more food and more calories than my body has the capacity to deal with in a healthy way only to be shocked at the after pains. Without exception I felt sick not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.
I don’t think you have to be a compulsive eater to relate to Michael’s prayer. In many Addiction Recovery Meetings I’ve heard participants say, “Hi, I’m _____ and I’m addicted to MORE.” It doesn’t seem to matter if our destructive practices center around the computer, the bar, the refrigerator, the Mall, or the neighborhood pharmacy, our prayer has been much like Michaels Thanksgiving Day request. “Dear Heavenly Father, Please, just this time, grant me the miracle of indulging without consequence.”
This year I am happy to be a compulsive eater who is a grateful Thanksgiving Dinner survivor, ninety-seven pounds down from my top weight, but I certainly have not finished my course work on the subject of cause and effect. I had to smile at the Lord’s sense of humor the other night. I started developing this little piece of writing late in the evening. Before climbing into the covers and without thought of what I had just finished writing, I knelt at the foot of my bed and said, “Dear Heavenly Father, Once again I’ve stayed up much too late. I know I should have been in bed a long time ago, but please bless me with the ability to wake up early, feeling great, and with energy to accomplish good thing in the morning.” As I whispered these words Heavenward I could almost see the corners of the Lord’s mouth turn up just a bit, and with a twinkle in his eye, and His brows slightly raised He seemed to whisper back, “Oh, I see Nannette, might you be asking for the miracle of indulging without consequence? It reminds me a of the Thanksgiving prayer of a little by I know, ‘Please bless us that we will be able to eat as much as possible without getting sick?’”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 7, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, November 23, 2009
“Pray As If…” Step 3 Trust In God
There’s old saying goes something like this: “Pray as if everything depends on God and then get up and go to work as if everything depends on you.” The point of this adage is to remind us that we shouldn’t pray and then simply sit around and wait until God takes action. I get the point, and I don’t want to offend anyone who has used this thought in a motivational talk, but I have a problem with this advise.
My problem is that any notion that I am alone in my work either paralyzes me into inaction or terrifies me into a workaholic frenzy. I absolutely cannot do the work of the Lord, in the Lord’s way, if I entertain the idea that it all depends on me. I have to go to work knowing I can absolutely, thoroughly, completely, without doubt, with out question depend on God to help me!
King Benjamin shares the secret of his power “to do” when he says he has served the people with “all the might, mind, and strength which the Lord hath granted unto” him. (Mosiah 2:11). Those words are among the most hopeful in all scripture. Sometimes a good old saying brings good old-fashioned wisdom, but sometimes a good old saying brings the “same old, same old” behavior that keeps me going in non-productive circles.
I believe I work harder knowing He is with me then I do trembling in perceived loneliness. Today I pray as if everything depends on God and then I get up and go to work as if the Lord is completely dependable.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 23, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
My problem is that any notion that I am alone in my work either paralyzes me into inaction or terrifies me into a workaholic frenzy. I absolutely cannot do the work of the Lord, in the Lord’s way, if I entertain the idea that it all depends on me. I have to go to work knowing I can absolutely, thoroughly, completely, without doubt, with out question depend on God to help me!
King Benjamin shares the secret of his power “to do” when he says he has served the people with “all the might, mind, and strength which the Lord hath granted unto” him. (Mosiah 2:11). Those words are among the most hopeful in all scripture. Sometimes a good old saying brings good old-fashioned wisdom, but sometimes a good old saying brings the “same old, same old” behavior that keeps me going in non-productive circles.
I believe I work harder knowing He is with me then I do trembling in perceived loneliness. Today I pray as if everything depends on God and then I get up and go to work as if the Lord is completely dependable.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 23, 2009
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
