My little redheaded firecracker grandchild Gracie went through a comical phase as she was perfecting that art of getting around in the upright position. Shortly after learning to walk this half-pint adventurer decided it wasn’t daring enough just to balance on two feet. So, she added the “fear factor” of toddling around with her eyes closed. All about the house she’d go, blind by choice, bumping into door jams and walls and anything that stood in her way. Sooner or later she’d run into something that would take her down. Then this little clown would open her eyes, look around to see which member of her family was watching, and giggle! Gracie’s primary motivation was to do something entertaining, something that would make her older siblings laugh – So innocent and at the same time potentially dangerous.
As I observed Gracie I was reminded of several things in connection with recovery and healing. First, addiction provides a way to move through life with our eyes closed. I know I was blinded by excessive focus on food in tandem with a devastating degree of self-consciousness over my obesity.
Next, the sightless world of addiction is self-imposed. Like Gracie, we willfully close our eyes. Often we do so with good reason. Our separation from the presence of God in combination with difficult life circumstances makes the perfect recipe for fear. And, if you’re like me, when you’re afraid the first thing you want to do is close your eyes.
Finally, watching Gracie reminded me of the truth that for many of us “closing our eyes” start out in our innocents. Longing for adventure, a need for a thrill, entertainment, a way to get attention – these are all common seemingly harmless beginnings of a condition that is self-destructive, and potentially lethal, spiritually and often physically.
It doesn’t matter how young or old we were when we decided to “close our eyes,” or what our motivation was, or how many times we’ve run into the wall. When we apply the 12 Steps to our lives we finally have the courage to proceed with our eyes open. We find the courage to walk through life with our world in full view. As we practice these 12 spiritual principles we finally come to know that Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit can literally be our constant companions. In the reality of Their light and Their fellowship we become willing to look at the hard things of life.
To our great surprise and wonder the miracle doesn’t end there. With our eyes open we are now privy to all the beautiful, wonderful, stunning, lovely, magnificent, miraculous, delightful, precious aspects of this God given life. We begin to take notice. Moments like the one I had watching a little redheaded firecracker walk around the house with her eyes closed are not blindly passed over. It’s a new world, a world of vision, a world of courage and a world of beauty. In daily fellowship with God, I can choose to walk around with my eyes wide open!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 29, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
No Apologies Necessary! - Step 12 - Carrying the Message
On a crispy December morning the day after Christmas 2002 my 23-year-old son called at 10:05 am and asked to speak to my 14-year-old son. I took the portable phone with me. As I began the task of waking the sleeping stretched out man/child his older brother said over the phone, “Oh mom don’t wake him up. You’re not waking him up are you?” I replied, “You know, it’s OK if he gets up. It’s 10:00 in the morning!” I proceeded to wake my son so that he could receive a message from his older brother.
As I walked away and left the two of them to chat I thought about the fact that I don’t actually like to wake up sleeping people either. I’m obviously kind of a softie when it comes to letting people “sleep in.”
I’m a little timid about encouraging people to wake up spiritually too. Step 12 is the challenge to be a spiritual wake up call to our brothers and sisters. It says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.” The invitation to wake up is issued by the Lord and His servants throughout the scriptures. Here is just a sampling:
Awake, awake, stand up (2 Nephi 8:17)
Awake awake, put on thy strength (2 Nephi 8:24)
O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep (2 Nephi 1:13)
Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness (2 Nephi 1:23)
Awake, and hear the words which I shall tell thee; for behold, I am come to declare unto you the glad tidings of great joy (Mosiah 3:2-3)
…now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed (Romans 13:11)
…awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words (Alma 32:27)
Yea, let the cry go forth among all people: Awake and arise and go forth to meet the Bridegroom; behold and lo, the Bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. Prepare yourselves for the great day of the Lord. (D&C 133:10)
As I proceed with the work of “carrying the message,” and inviting people to “get out of bed” spiritually speaking, I sometimes feel a little bad about interrupting their sleep. So why am I timid? Maybe it’s because I know that while being and remaining spiritually awake is very rewarding, it is also full of challenges.
Perhaps the things we need to take into account are the same things I considered the December morning I woke my young son to speak with his older brother. It’s getting late in the day - historically speaking. The message we bring is not our own. It is a message from our Older Brother. We should not feel sorry about waking up our heavenly siblings. We are waking them up to the personal love, direction and power of Jesus Christ and for the work of the Atonement in their lives. We are waking them up to Someone and for Something very wonderful. No apologies necessary!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 26, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
As I walked away and left the two of them to chat I thought about the fact that I don’t actually like to wake up sleeping people either. I’m obviously kind of a softie when it comes to letting people “sleep in.”
I’m a little timid about encouraging people to wake up spiritually too. Step 12 is the challenge to be a spiritual wake up call to our brothers and sisters. It says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.” The invitation to wake up is issued by the Lord and His servants throughout the scriptures. Here is just a sampling:
Awake, awake, stand up (2 Nephi 8:17)
Awake awake, put on thy strength (2 Nephi 8:24)
O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep (2 Nephi 1:13)
Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness (2 Nephi 1:23)
Awake, and hear the words which I shall tell thee; for behold, I am come to declare unto you the glad tidings of great joy (Mosiah 3:2-3)
…now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed (Romans 13:11)
…awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words (Alma 32:27)
Yea, let the cry go forth among all people: Awake and arise and go forth to meet the Bridegroom; behold and lo, the Bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. Prepare yourselves for the great day of the Lord. (D&C 133:10)
As I proceed with the work of “carrying the message,” and inviting people to “get out of bed” spiritually speaking, I sometimes feel a little bad about interrupting their sleep. So why am I timid? Maybe it’s because I know that while being and remaining spiritually awake is very rewarding, it is also full of challenges.
Perhaps the things we need to take into account are the same things I considered the December morning I woke my young son to speak with his older brother. It’s getting late in the day - historically speaking. The message we bring is not our own. It is a message from our Older Brother. We should not feel sorry about waking up our heavenly siblings. We are waking them up to the personal love, direction and power of Jesus Christ and for the work of the Atonement in their lives. We are waking them up to Someone and for Something very wonderful. No apologies necessary!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 26, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Re-Wrapping - Living In Gratitude
A friend of mine attended a Pre-Christmas, family party the other night where gifts were exchanged. Each person had the fun of unwrapping one gift from Santa. Her three-year-old little girl, Katie, along with all the little girl cousins received a Barbie Doll. At the close of the event Katie attentively carried the early present to the car and into the house, obviously pleased with her Christmas surprise. The next day my friend sat wrapping gifts in preparation for the big day ahead. As she wrapped Katie brought her the Barbie she’d received the night before and wanted it re-wrapped. After wrapping it again Katie placed it under the family tree. Throughout the wrapping time Katie disappeared time after time. Back and forth she went from the place in the house where her toys were kept, to the place where her mom was wrapping. Each time she brought with her something she had been given in the past to be re-wrapped and placed under the tree.
Being only three, I’m sure Katie was simply taken with the whole wrapping/unwrapping process and excitement, but for Katie’s mommy this little exercise was the inspiration for a very poignant thought about herself and the gifts she has received from God. She shared with me that she wished she could take all the gifts she had ever received from the Lord and wrap them up and place them under the tree.
While it’s true that part of the Christmas Spirit is being grateful for everything we unwrap on Christmas day, Katie had it right! In her own childlike way, she demonstrated her appreciation for all she has ever received in the past.
What a wonderful picture. When I live “in gratitude” it’s like taking notice of God’s daily gifts, re-wrapping them and placing them one at a time under the Christmas tree. Every gift I receive is in direct connection with the birth and life and death of Jesus Christ. It all belongs under the Christmas tree - really. Like the three-year-old who found such delight in re-wrapping and revisiting her gifts we can re-wrap and open again and again with equal delight and to our hearts desire!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 26, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Being only three, I’m sure Katie was simply taken with the whole wrapping/unwrapping process and excitement, but for Katie’s mommy this little exercise was the inspiration for a very poignant thought about herself and the gifts she has received from God. She shared with me that she wished she could take all the gifts she had ever received from the Lord and wrap them up and place them under the tree.
While it’s true that part of the Christmas Spirit is being grateful for everything we unwrap on Christmas day, Katie had it right! In her own childlike way, she demonstrated her appreciation for all she has ever received in the past.
What a wonderful picture. When I live “in gratitude” it’s like taking notice of God’s daily gifts, re-wrapping them and placing them one at a time under the Christmas tree. Every gift I receive is in direct connection with the birth and life and death of Jesus Christ. It all belongs under the Christmas tree - really. Like the three-year-old who found such delight in re-wrapping and revisiting her gifts we can re-wrap and open again and again with equal delight and to our hearts desire!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 26, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Eve Instruction on Finding the Perfect Gift – Step 1, 2, 3, and Perfectionism
If I wasn’t “finishing up” at Target or All-A-Dollar or Kmart at 5:45 on Christmas Eve I guess the season wouldn’t be quite the same. One December 24, 2002 I was given the following insight. It has made a difference in every Christmas Eve thereafter.
Exhausted and touching on frantic, I completed my Christmas buying that year by going to three stores just as the 24th sun of December was setting, trying to find that perfect, within my budget, healthy (at the request of the children) stuff to stuff in the…(well you know). First, I flew in and out of some store with the word dollar in the name but obviously not geared for the authentic “I’ve got no money left” shopper! Then it was on to The Dollar Store with a big finish at Kmart.
I miraculously ended the Christmas shopping within budget, but as I pulled into the garage I had a sinking feeling that what I had purchased was just not right at all. I entered the kitchen, helloed everyone, turned on the Christmas music and declared that the Holiday could now begin. I noticed my daughters had removed the unfinished chicken, thankfully, from the crock-pot and put it into the ever-faithful oven “in hopes that the dinner soon would be there.” (Is that a line from a famous Christmas poem?)
As I stood at the sink working toward perfection in the kitchen, I pondered as I often do while cycling the dishes. “Just why Nannette, why is gift giving so completely unsettling to you? Why do you put off the thinking of, looking for, purchasing, wrapping and giving of gifts? Why are you so “anxietous” (a family word) over every phase of this activity? I’ll tell you why,” spoke the Messenger to my mind. “It’s because you always want to give the perfect gift, isn’t it. You want it to be just the right thing and there is never enough time or money or creativity or understanding to pull it off. That’s it, isn’t it?”
Then came the instruction. “Nannette, there is only one perfect gift and it will not matter how early you line up at Shopko the day after Thanksgiving or whether or not you have a wheel barrow full of money with which to fight off the crowds and pay at the register. You will not be able to buy it.
Your Heavenly Father already conceived of it and His first born and only begotten Son already volunteered to be it and it has been offered to every one on your Christmas list! So let go of the notion of reinventing the magnificent and allow your humble giving of the less than perfect to be a perfect reminder. Let it bring to your philanthropic heart and near empty hands the testimony that His gift is The Gift that makes up for all lesser offerings. There is no other gift beside Him. Allow the contrast to be a symbol of your humble station and His abundant, priceless, perfect present.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Exhausted and touching on frantic, I completed my Christmas buying that year by going to three stores just as the 24th sun of December was setting, trying to find that perfect, within my budget, healthy (at the request of the children) stuff to stuff in the…(well you know). First, I flew in and out of some store with the word dollar in the name but obviously not geared for the authentic “I’ve got no money left” shopper! Then it was on to The Dollar Store with a big finish at Kmart.
I miraculously ended the Christmas shopping within budget, but as I pulled into the garage I had a sinking feeling that what I had purchased was just not right at all. I entered the kitchen, helloed everyone, turned on the Christmas music and declared that the Holiday could now begin. I noticed my daughters had removed the unfinished chicken, thankfully, from the crock-pot and put it into the ever-faithful oven “in hopes that the dinner soon would be there.” (Is that a line from a famous Christmas poem?)
As I stood at the sink working toward perfection in the kitchen, I pondered as I often do while cycling the dishes. “Just why Nannette, why is gift giving so completely unsettling to you? Why do you put off the thinking of, looking for, purchasing, wrapping and giving of gifts? Why are you so “anxietous” (a family word) over every phase of this activity? I’ll tell you why,” spoke the Messenger to my mind. “It’s because you always want to give the perfect gift, isn’t it. You want it to be just the right thing and there is never enough time or money or creativity or understanding to pull it off. That’s it, isn’t it?”
Then came the instruction. “Nannette, there is only one perfect gift and it will not matter how early you line up at Shopko the day after Thanksgiving or whether or not you have a wheel barrow full of money with which to fight off the crowds and pay at the register. You will not be able to buy it.
Your Heavenly Father already conceived of it and His first born and only begotten Son already volunteered to be it and it has been offered to every one on your Christmas list! So let go of the notion of reinventing the magnificent and allow your humble giving of the less than perfect to be a perfect reminder. Let it bring to your philanthropic heart and near empty hands the testimony that His gift is The Gift that makes up for all lesser offerings. There is no other gift beside Him. Allow the contrast to be a symbol of your humble station and His abundant, priceless, perfect present.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Five
This is the forth and final part of a set of posts dedicated to looking for 12 Step principles taught through the people, events, and symbols of the story of the birth of Jesus Christ. Today we will look at The Journey to the Manger.
The Journey to the Manger – Steps 1, 2 and 3 “I can’t! He can! I think I’ll let Him!
“And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.” (Luke 1)
There seem to have been only a hand full of ancient people who took the journey to see the newborn King on that first Christmas night. The journey required of the rest of God’s children is not the journey to Bethlehem, but it is a journey to the King. Moroni describes our travel to the Lord as “coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him,” (see Moroni 10:32)
In early application of the 12 Steps the number one question in our minds is “I wonder how long this is going to take?” Many of us are convinced that the distance between Jesus and us is literally insurmountable.
My witness is that the journey to Him is not long. In fact is it’s as short as taking Steps 1, 2, and 3. Step 1 - I can’t. Step 2 - He (Jesus Christ) can! Step 3 - I think I’ll let Him. That’s the journey to Him, Our Heavenly King!
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous on page 58-59 we read, “Remember that we deal with alcohol -- cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power -- that one is God. May you find Him now!” We are invited by the recovering alcoholic to believe in the immediate availability of God.
Although the work of recovery is life long, I find that once I turn to Him, He joins me on the road. It’s really not so very far to “Bethlehem,” to that place where we meet up with Jesus. The imagined mile between the Lord and us shortens every time we admit our need and turn our minds and our hearts to Him for direction and power. Every time we do so we invite Him to be our traveling companion!
“May we find Him now!” That is my Christmas wish for all of us weather we struggle with addiction or with any other hardship mortality has to offer. Every day I have to let go once again of the fear and pride that reduce my speed, delay my progress, and keep Him at arms length, unable to work in my life. Our recovery, our healing, our progress on the road to Bethlehem and thereafter was His sole purpose in coming to earth that Christmas night so long ago. My work is to not stand in His way. You and I can take the trip to Bethlehem as we Admit Our Need and Turn Our Minds and Our Hearts To Him For Direction and Power.
Conclusion
As children acting out the nativity story on Christmas Eve our understanding is very limited, but we know by the way we feel that this story, this little drama we present is different from all others. It is later, when we have experienced much of mortality that we come to know that recovery, healing, and all progress are made possible through the Atoning sacrifice of this little baby in the manger bed. The elements that were closest to Him at His birth: Angel, Mary, Joseph, Stable, Shepherds, star, and Wise Men each teach us something we need to understand in order to fully receive the blessings of the life He gave for us.
The last several posts have been dedicated to likening the story of the birth of Jesus Christ unto ourselves and our application of the 12 Steps. I’m sure the things we might learn from the people, events and symbols of this story are endless. My thoughts on this subject are my Christmas gifts to each of you. I know the Holy Spirit delights to teach us of Him in all things. May our lives be filled with the blessing of personal, divine insight and all the blessings of Christmas!
Merry Merry Christmas to you all!
Nannette
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The Journey to the Manger – Steps 1, 2 and 3 “I can’t! He can! I think I’ll let Him!
“And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.” (Luke 1)
There seem to have been only a hand full of ancient people who took the journey to see the newborn King on that first Christmas night. The journey required of the rest of God’s children is not the journey to Bethlehem, but it is a journey to the King. Moroni describes our travel to the Lord as “coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him,” (see Moroni 10:32)
In early application of the 12 Steps the number one question in our minds is “I wonder how long this is going to take?” Many of us are convinced that the distance between Jesus and us is literally insurmountable.
My witness is that the journey to Him is not long. In fact is it’s as short as taking Steps 1, 2, and 3. Step 1 - I can’t. Step 2 - He (Jesus Christ) can! Step 3 - I think I’ll let Him. That’s the journey to Him, Our Heavenly King!
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous on page 58-59 we read, “Remember that we deal with alcohol -- cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power -- that one is God. May you find Him now!” We are invited by the recovering alcoholic to believe in the immediate availability of God.
Although the work of recovery is life long, I find that once I turn to Him, He joins me on the road. It’s really not so very far to “Bethlehem,” to that place where we meet up with Jesus. The imagined mile between the Lord and us shortens every time we admit our need and turn our minds and our hearts to Him for direction and power. Every time we do so we invite Him to be our traveling companion!
“May we find Him now!” That is my Christmas wish for all of us weather we struggle with addiction or with any other hardship mortality has to offer. Every day I have to let go once again of the fear and pride that reduce my speed, delay my progress, and keep Him at arms length, unable to work in my life. Our recovery, our healing, our progress on the road to Bethlehem and thereafter was His sole purpose in coming to earth that Christmas night so long ago. My work is to not stand in His way. You and I can take the trip to Bethlehem as we Admit Our Need and Turn Our Minds and Our Hearts To Him For Direction and Power.
Conclusion
As children acting out the nativity story on Christmas Eve our understanding is very limited, but we know by the way we feel that this story, this little drama we present is different from all others. It is later, when we have experienced much of mortality that we come to know that recovery, healing, and all progress are made possible through the Atoning sacrifice of this little baby in the manger bed. The elements that were closest to Him at His birth: Angel, Mary, Joseph, Stable, Shepherds, star, and Wise Men each teach us something we need to understand in order to fully receive the blessings of the life He gave for us.
The last several posts have been dedicated to likening the story of the birth of Jesus Christ unto ourselves and our application of the 12 Steps. I’m sure the things we might learn from the people, events and symbols of this story are endless. My thoughts on this subject are my Christmas gifts to each of you. I know the Holy Spirit delights to teach us of Him in all things. May our lives be filled with the blessing of personal, divine insight and all the blessings of Christmas!
Merry Merry Christmas to you all!
Nannette
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Four
This is the forth part of a set of posts dedicated to looking for 12 Step principles taught through the people, events, and symbols of the story of the birth of Jesus Christ. Today we will look at The Shepherds.
The Shepherds – Step 11 Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.
“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour which is Christ the Lord…” (Luke 1)
The angelic words to the Christmas Shepherds that stand out to me are, “For unto you is born this day…” It is in the fields with the sheep and their caretakers that we learn that God sends angels to ordinary people like you and me.
When we are new and so imperfect at applying the 12 Steps most of us are filled with amazement, even shocked at feel the presence, love, direction and power of the Lord in our lives. Quoting from one who has struggled much: “Could this feeling I feel possible be the Light of Christ or the Holy Ghost? I haven’t been to Church or prayed or read the scriptures in years. I’ve done so many things I’m ashamed of. I know I must be a complete disappointment to God. But this feeling I have in my heart is so hopeful! What is it?”
Those who have been where we are and have worked hard to “live in recovery” by applying these principles help us begin to understand. They share with us that this feeling we are experiencing is the result of the Lord’s desire to help us and evidence that He is at work in our hearts and in our lives. After we have begun to feel His love and see His hand the great challenge is to continue to believe and receive. I find I have to consciously push away the doubt that threatens my ability to act on my newfound connection with divine help.
The shepherds are the symbol and sweet reminder of God’s very real interest in ordinary people. I’m so grateful they didn’t doubt their own experience. They didn’t stand around after the angels departed saying, “Wait a minute! This kind of thing doesn’t happen to shepherds?” No, they sought out the Christ child. The scriptures say they went with hast. I must seek Him too, and immediately, no matter how ordinary or unfit I think I am, because the Lord reveals himself to shepherd and other ordinary people such as myself. You and I can be like the Shepherds as we Do Not Doubt and Go With Hast!
Wise Men – All Steps
“When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh.” (Matthew 2)
These earthly kings offer their riches to the Christ. That’s what I wish I could take to Jesus too, things that are beautiful, all shined up and smelling lovely. But He asks me to offer my whole soul. Some of that package isn’t very pretty. He asks me to offer Him my sins as well as my talents. Will I offer Him the best I have along with the worst? Will I offer Him all I have, all I am? He says He is like a refiners fire and can turn me into gold. To the Lord, you and I are the most important gold in the universe, gold in the making, gold in process. You and I can be like the Wise Men as we Offer Our Whole Souls As An Offering Unto Him!
Tomorrow the conclusion of this series.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 22, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The Shepherds – Step 11 Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.
“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour which is Christ the Lord…” (Luke 1)
The angelic words to the Christmas Shepherds that stand out to me are, “For unto you is born this day…” It is in the fields with the sheep and their caretakers that we learn that God sends angels to ordinary people like you and me.
When we are new and so imperfect at applying the 12 Steps most of us are filled with amazement, even shocked at feel the presence, love, direction and power of the Lord in our lives. Quoting from one who has struggled much: “Could this feeling I feel possible be the Light of Christ or the Holy Ghost? I haven’t been to Church or prayed or read the scriptures in years. I’ve done so many things I’m ashamed of. I know I must be a complete disappointment to God. But this feeling I have in my heart is so hopeful! What is it?”
Those who have been where we are and have worked hard to “live in recovery” by applying these principles help us begin to understand. They share with us that this feeling we are experiencing is the result of the Lord’s desire to help us and evidence that He is at work in our hearts and in our lives. After we have begun to feel His love and see His hand the great challenge is to continue to believe and receive. I find I have to consciously push away the doubt that threatens my ability to act on my newfound connection with divine help.
The shepherds are the symbol and sweet reminder of God’s very real interest in ordinary people. I’m so grateful they didn’t doubt their own experience. They didn’t stand around after the angels departed saying, “Wait a minute! This kind of thing doesn’t happen to shepherds?” No, they sought out the Christ child. The scriptures say they went with hast. I must seek Him too, and immediately, no matter how ordinary or unfit I think I am, because the Lord reveals himself to shepherd and other ordinary people such as myself. You and I can be like the Shepherds as we Do Not Doubt and Go With Hast!
Wise Men – All Steps
“When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh.” (Matthew 2)
These earthly kings offer their riches to the Christ. That’s what I wish I could take to Jesus too, things that are beautiful, all shined up and smelling lovely. But He asks me to offer my whole soul. Some of that package isn’t very pretty. He asks me to offer Him my sins as well as my talents. Will I offer Him the best I have along with the worst? Will I offer Him all I have, all I am? He says He is like a refiners fire and can turn me into gold. To the Lord, you and I are the most important gold in the universe, gold in the making, gold in process. You and I can be like the Wise Men as we Offer Our Whole Souls As An Offering Unto Him!
Tomorrow the conclusion of this series.
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 22, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Three
This is the third part of a set of posts dedicated to looking for 12 Step principles taught through the people, events, and symbols of the story of the birth of Christ. Today we will look at The Stable and The Star.
The Stable – Step 7 Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove you shortcomings.
There was no room for Joseph and Mary in the Inn and so they found refuge in a stable. Sometimes my heart feels like a stable, not nearly clean enough, pure enough to provide a dwelling place for the Son of God! Am I humble enough to invite Him in anyway, with my heart in disarray, so cluttered and imperfect? I find myself filled with embarrassment at the thought! “Please, just give me a little more time and maybe I can get my heart all spruced up and ready for divine occupancy!”
But try as I may I can’t do it. It’s a job beyond my single-handed mortal ability. Will I invite the Son of God to come in and dirty His perfectly clean hands with the work of my salvation. Will I allow the Lord to empty my heart of all the things that crowd Him out, the things that are “outside of Him,” all the lesser things I have come to depend on, instead of Him? You and I can be like the humble stable as we Let Him In!
The Star – Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.
“… behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem… and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.” (Matthew 2)
If there was a star in the heavens with my name on it and it hung over and illuminated the principle object of my love and worship (the thing of greatest importance to me) would it be a Christmas star? Would it shine on the Jesus Christ? Would it illuminate His live and His mission? Would it serve those who are lost and weary? Would it point others toward Him? You and I can be like the star as we Point The Way!
Tomorrow we’ll visit the Shepherds.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, December 21, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The Stable – Step 7 Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove you shortcomings.
There was no room for Joseph and Mary in the Inn and so they found refuge in a stable. Sometimes my heart feels like a stable, not nearly clean enough, pure enough to provide a dwelling place for the Son of God! Am I humble enough to invite Him in anyway, with my heart in disarray, so cluttered and imperfect? I find myself filled with embarrassment at the thought! “Please, just give me a little more time and maybe I can get my heart all spruced up and ready for divine occupancy!”
But try as I may I can’t do it. It’s a job beyond my single-handed mortal ability. Will I invite the Son of God to come in and dirty His perfectly clean hands with the work of my salvation. Will I allow the Lord to empty my heart of all the things that crowd Him out, the things that are “outside of Him,” all the lesser things I have come to depend on, instead of Him? You and I can be like the humble stable as we Let Him In!
The Star – Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.
“… behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem… and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.” (Matthew 2)
If there was a star in the heavens with my name on it and it hung over and illuminated the principle object of my love and worship (the thing of greatest importance to me) would it be a Christmas star? Would it shine on the Jesus Christ? Would it illuminate His live and His mission? Would it serve those who are lost and weary? Would it point others toward Him? You and I can be like the star as we Point The Way!
Tomorrow we’ll visit the Shepherds.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, December 21, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part Two
It was a great experience to look at the people, events, and symbols of the Christmas Story with the 12 Steps in mind. I share these thoughts with you knowing that this is just a sampling of many possible impressions. These were the things that came to me…
The Angel Gabriel - Step 12 Carrying the Message
The first individual to speak in the Christmas story is the Angel Gabriel. Addressing Mary he said, “…the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women… Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest…” (Luke 1)
The message we are called to carry to those who suffer on this earth is not unlike the Angel Gabriel’s message to Mary. The message is that the Lord loves us. He desires to be with us. We don’t need to be afraid, and we each have a unique work to do on the earth. You and I can be like Gabriel. As we Carry the Message!
Mary – Step 3 Turning my life and will over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ
Mary’s reply to the Angel Gabriel was, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1). Mary is the picture of complete surrender to the will God.
Her submissive reply causes me to inventory my own response when the Lord requires hard things of me? I wish it were always, “be it unto me according to they word,” but it’s not. Today I know I can practice being the handmaid of the Lord one day at a time, one hour at a time. You and I can be like Mary as we grow in the ability to Trust Him Absolutely!
Joseph – Step 11 Seeking through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out
When Joseph takes Mary as his wife he is literally saying, “I care for my Heavenly Father and his plan more that I care for any earthly honor. I will be shamed in a way that will affect the rest of my life, but my life is His and I will do His will.”
Joseph surrenders his reputation and literally becomes the hands of his Heavenly Father in the earthly care of His divine Son. Am I willing to be the hands of God no matter what the cost? You and I can be like Joseph as we become willing to Bear the Shame of the World!
The Inn – Step 6 Change of Heart – Become willing to have God remove all you character weaknesses.
As Joseph searched for shelter these words are recorded. “There was no room for them in the inn.” I always feel so sad at this part of the story. I just know I would have given them my room if I’d had the opportunity.
Although I wasn’t there, the opportunity to provide a dwelling place for the Lord is still very much available. The room He has asked me to give Him is my heart. That’s the place He longs to dwell in today. He can only “move in” with my permission, at my invitation. As the words in “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” say “Where meek souls will receive Him still, the Dear Christ enters in.” You and I can be willing to Make Room for Him Today!
As you can see this exercises seems to lead to personal inventory. Tomorrow we will look at the stable, the shepherds, the star, and the wise men.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, December 19, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
The Angel Gabriel - Step 12 Carrying the Message
The first individual to speak in the Christmas story is the Angel Gabriel. Addressing Mary he said, “…the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women… Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest…” (Luke 1)
The message we are called to carry to those who suffer on this earth is not unlike the Angel Gabriel’s message to Mary. The message is that the Lord loves us. He desires to be with us. We don’t need to be afraid, and we each have a unique work to do on the earth. You and I can be like Gabriel. As we Carry the Message!
Mary – Step 3 Turning my life and will over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ
Mary’s reply to the Angel Gabriel was, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1). Mary is the picture of complete surrender to the will God.
Her submissive reply causes me to inventory my own response when the Lord requires hard things of me? I wish it were always, “be it unto me according to they word,” but it’s not. Today I know I can practice being the handmaid of the Lord one day at a time, one hour at a time. You and I can be like Mary as we grow in the ability to Trust Him Absolutely!
Joseph – Step 11 Seeking through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out
When Joseph takes Mary as his wife he is literally saying, “I care for my Heavenly Father and his plan more that I care for any earthly honor. I will be shamed in a way that will affect the rest of my life, but my life is His and I will do His will.”
Joseph surrenders his reputation and literally becomes the hands of his Heavenly Father in the earthly care of His divine Son. Am I willing to be the hands of God no matter what the cost? You and I can be like Joseph as we become willing to Bear the Shame of the World!
The Inn – Step 6 Change of Heart – Become willing to have God remove all you character weaknesses.
As Joseph searched for shelter these words are recorded. “There was no room for them in the inn.” I always feel so sad at this part of the story. I just know I would have given them my room if I’d had the opportunity.
Although I wasn’t there, the opportunity to provide a dwelling place for the Lord is still very much available. The room He has asked me to give Him is my heart. That’s the place He longs to dwell in today. He can only “move in” with my permission, at my invitation. As the words in “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” say “Where meek souls will receive Him still, the Dear Christ enters in.” You and I can be willing to Make Room for Him Today!
As you can see this exercises seems to lead to personal inventory. Tomorrow we will look at the stable, the shepherds, the star, and the wise men.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, December 19, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Recovery and The Stable – All Steps – Part One
For many years we re-enacted the Christmas Story at my mother’s house. As young girls my sister and I traded off taking the part of Mary, the Angel, or a shepherd and my brothers filled in all the male roles. Being the oldest I was the narrator for several years.
During my motherhood years I didn’t usually take a part, but every year, on Christmas Eve about the time all the other adults had collapsed on sofas and in chairs, being overcome with preparation and food, my sister and I called all the cousins into Grandma’s bedroom and we costumed for the Nativity Scene.
“Mom, my shepherd hat won’t stay on!”
“You were the wise man last year, give me grandma’s jewelry!”
“Where’s Uncle _____ robe?”
“Sheets, we need more sheets.”
My mother totally left this preparation (which was always more dramatic that the presentation itself) to my sister and I. I’m sure she determined that she had put in enough time as director of this yearly pageant. I doubt if she enjoyed her retirement, as she heard the sound of 15+ children in her bedroom fighting over her beads and robes and rummaging through her drawers for this or that important prop.
The issue of who was to take the role of baby Jesus was usually pretty clear-cut, but one year we had to line up four baskets, two baby boys, and a set of twin girls. We even tried to involve some of the adult men, uncles taking the part of camels and donkeys.
Today the tradition lives on, only now it’s my jewelry and towels and robes they’re using. I’m the Grandma who allows her daughters to opportunity to do the directing.
This yearly event gives each of us a few minutes to pretend we are there. Christmas time seems to shorten the years that have lapsed since the adult audience actually participated as part of the cast. Our childlike love for the pageant is easily accessed. For a few short minutes we have relived more that just a story. The thousands of miles and years that separate us from them, those ancient ones, are diminished.
But alas the Christ-child story and the evening must come to a close. The signs are always clear. The baby Jesus starts to cry because he or she just can’t lie there and be that good any longer, a strand of Grandma’s favorite beads breaks, someone’s costume completely falls apart, or one of the uncles who has been playing the part of a camel realizes that he may never walk upright again. We quickly sing one verse of “Silent Night” and then spend the next hour folding up towels and sheets and hanging up robes and searching for Grandma’s lost jewelry.
The magic of that night 2000 years ago is suddenly filled up with thoughts of getting home, hanging up stockings, and wrapping one last gift. We wonder if 7-11 sells anything that will do for neighbors we barely know who just dropped off a beef-jerky stick, assorted cheeses, and a bag full of homemade caramel popcorn balls. And finally, there is the fear that Santa might leave something that requires assembly.
The family nativity tradition has been revisited one more year. The children are satisfied; the childhood within each of us is satisfied. Now we can move forward with other traditions, feeling good about giving a prominent place to the true meaning of Christmas. We have reminded the children of the most wondrous people, events, and symbols in the history of man. This is a wonderful gift from us to our children, and from them to us (looking back and for a few minutes, placing ourselves in the middle of The Central Event of All History).
Re-enacting of the Christmas Story while mom or dad reads the scriptural rendition is often our earliest and most basic experience of likening the scriptures unto ourselves. Learning to “liken,” the scriptures unto myself, as Nephi calls it, has been a huge blessing in my life and in my recovery. Without fail the principles I am taught as I study correspond with the Gospel centered principles represented by the 12 Steps.
As grownups we don’t dress up like those ancients, in our daily scripture study, in order to learn from their experience. Instead we place ourselves figuratively in their shoes, and we consider the principles that are being taught from their experience. Then we seek the blessing of knowing through the Spirit how their experience applies to our own and how we might act on that understanding.
The verses telling of the birth of Jesus Christ represent the world’s most widely known set of scriptures. I wonder if God planned that such a universally known story might hold value for likening and learning for us.
What can I learn from the Christmas Story that might enlighten and inspire my application of the 12 Steps today? Over the next few days I would like to share some of the thoughts I have had about the people, events, and symbols of the Christmas Story and how they can be seen through the eyes of recovery.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
During my motherhood years I didn’t usually take a part, but every year, on Christmas Eve about the time all the other adults had collapsed on sofas and in chairs, being overcome with preparation and food, my sister and I called all the cousins into Grandma’s bedroom and we costumed for the Nativity Scene.
“Mom, my shepherd hat won’t stay on!”
“You were the wise man last year, give me grandma’s jewelry!”
“Where’s Uncle _____ robe?”
“Sheets, we need more sheets.”
My mother totally left this preparation (which was always more dramatic that the presentation itself) to my sister and I. I’m sure she determined that she had put in enough time as director of this yearly pageant. I doubt if she enjoyed her retirement, as she heard the sound of 15+ children in her bedroom fighting over her beads and robes and rummaging through her drawers for this or that important prop.
The issue of who was to take the role of baby Jesus was usually pretty clear-cut, but one year we had to line up four baskets, two baby boys, and a set of twin girls. We even tried to involve some of the adult men, uncles taking the part of camels and donkeys.
Today the tradition lives on, only now it’s my jewelry and towels and robes they’re using. I’m the Grandma who allows her daughters to opportunity to do the directing.
This yearly event gives each of us a few minutes to pretend we are there. Christmas time seems to shorten the years that have lapsed since the adult audience actually participated as part of the cast. Our childlike love for the pageant is easily accessed. For a few short minutes we have relived more that just a story. The thousands of miles and years that separate us from them, those ancient ones, are diminished.
But alas the Christ-child story and the evening must come to a close. The signs are always clear. The baby Jesus starts to cry because he or she just can’t lie there and be that good any longer, a strand of Grandma’s favorite beads breaks, someone’s costume completely falls apart, or one of the uncles who has been playing the part of a camel realizes that he may never walk upright again. We quickly sing one verse of “Silent Night” and then spend the next hour folding up towels and sheets and hanging up robes and searching for Grandma’s lost jewelry.
The magic of that night 2000 years ago is suddenly filled up with thoughts of getting home, hanging up stockings, and wrapping one last gift. We wonder if 7-11 sells anything that will do for neighbors we barely know who just dropped off a beef-jerky stick, assorted cheeses, and a bag full of homemade caramel popcorn balls. And finally, there is the fear that Santa might leave something that requires assembly.
The family nativity tradition has been revisited one more year. The children are satisfied; the childhood within each of us is satisfied. Now we can move forward with other traditions, feeling good about giving a prominent place to the true meaning of Christmas. We have reminded the children of the most wondrous people, events, and symbols in the history of man. This is a wonderful gift from us to our children, and from them to us (looking back and for a few minutes, placing ourselves in the middle of The Central Event of All History).
Re-enacting of the Christmas Story while mom or dad reads the scriptural rendition is often our earliest and most basic experience of likening the scriptures unto ourselves. Learning to “liken,” the scriptures unto myself, as Nephi calls it, has been a huge blessing in my life and in my recovery. Without fail the principles I am taught as I study correspond with the Gospel centered principles represented by the 12 Steps.
As grownups we don’t dress up like those ancients, in our daily scripture study, in order to learn from their experience. Instead we place ourselves figuratively in their shoes, and we consider the principles that are being taught from their experience. Then we seek the blessing of knowing through the Spirit how their experience applies to our own and how we might act on that understanding.
The verses telling of the birth of Jesus Christ represent the world’s most widely known set of scriptures. I wonder if God planned that such a universally known story might hold value for likening and learning for us.
What can I learn from the Christmas Story that might enlighten and inspire my application of the 12 Steps today? Over the next few days I would like to share some of the thoughts I have had about the people, events, and symbols of the Christmas Story and how they can be seen through the eyes of recovery.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Our “Gratitudes” and Our Prayers – The Tools of Recovery
The family van rounded the corner moving towards home. Christmas fun and celebration at the Dickens’ Festival had come to a close. The car was filled with sounds of three “over-Christmas-ed” kids. My daughter (the mother) turned the radio up one more notch, but the children could not be out done or quieted even by Burl Ives and one more round of “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!” It was a car full of tired kids, not to mention the tired parents.
“When we get home we need to hurry really fast, have a snack and get into bed,” announced the Mother hopefully.
She anticipated that in less that twenty minutes time maybe, just maybe her three under six would be “nestled all snug in their wee little beds.” Never mind the “visions of sugar plums dancing in wee heads” as long as they get into bed and stay there!
Her plans were to be amended though. A voice of sanity came from the back of the car, from the car seat of the little blond boy with blue eyes that fade with the day. “But mom we need to remember to say our “gratitudes” and our prayers.”
Sometimes I’m tempted to allow my “dailies,” my daily traditions to fly out the window to make room for all the Christmas traditions. In my daughter’s home, every night before bed the family gathers. They go around and each family member shares something they are grateful for. Then they have a prayer together as a family. Finally each child kneels and speaks personally to Heavenly Father, the little ones with the help of a parent.
On tired long days this daily ritual may not seem time effective or energy efficient, but it is the most important tradition of all, beyond trees and lights and packages and Christmas lists. Even a three year old knows that.
After my “jamies” are on and I unplug the tree and switch off the lights that dawn our house, I want to remember the one critical tradition, the one that even a three year old knows is vital to the completion of the day. When I’m tempted to fall into bed may I hear the echo of a little voice saying, ““But Grandma, we need to remember to say our “gratitudes” and our prayers.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“When we get home we need to hurry really fast, have a snack and get into bed,” announced the Mother hopefully.
She anticipated that in less that twenty minutes time maybe, just maybe her three under six would be “nestled all snug in their wee little beds.” Never mind the “visions of sugar plums dancing in wee heads” as long as they get into bed and stay there!
Her plans were to be amended though. A voice of sanity came from the back of the car, from the car seat of the little blond boy with blue eyes that fade with the day. “But mom we need to remember to say our “gratitudes” and our prayers.”
Sometimes I’m tempted to allow my “dailies,” my daily traditions to fly out the window to make room for all the Christmas traditions. In my daughter’s home, every night before bed the family gathers. They go around and each family member shares something they are grateful for. Then they have a prayer together as a family. Finally each child kneels and speaks personally to Heavenly Father, the little ones with the help of a parent.
On tired long days this daily ritual may not seem time effective or energy efficient, but it is the most important tradition of all, beyond trees and lights and packages and Christmas lists. Even a three year old knows that.
After my “jamies” are on and I unplug the tree and switch off the lights that dawn our house, I want to remember the one critical tradition, the one that even a three year old knows is vital to the completion of the day. When I’m tempted to fall into bed may I hear the echo of a little voice saying, ““But Grandma, we need to remember to say our “gratitudes” and our prayers.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
“Am I Hungry Or Do I Just Want A Treat? Hmmm?” - Abstinence
This post is all about my experience, and others may not relate at all. Take what you like and leave the rest. I am sharing this thought to help myself, and others who do relate.
Tonight I have three separate Christmas parties to attend; all of them involve my drug of choice, food. No matter what our drug of choice, holidays always challenge my commitment to live in recovery, clean and sober. Again, I am very aware that there are many people in the world who are able to eat in moderation and with sanity. I am not.
One night after pajamas were on, teeth brushed, and story read, I over heard the following conversation between Sammy and her dad:
“Daddy, I’m hungry!” Sammy announced as she was being carried off to bed.
“Would you like a bowl of cereal?” Daddy asked.
Sammy replied, “No daddy, not that…something good!
Daddy responded, “Are you hungry Sam, or do you just want a treat?”
The thought immediately came to my mind, “Nannette, that’s a good question to ask yourself whenever the desire to eat comes up or the opportunity to eat comes along.”
I looked up the word “treat.” You knew I would! I laughed when I saw that one of the synonyms was “morsel.”
“What?” I said, “But a morsel is just a little bit!”
“Exactly, Nannette!”
I guess that for many people having a treat is having a little taste of something. For me the, “I’ll just have a little bit, thanks” or “Please cut my piece in half,” sets me up for a wrestle with cravings and a battle with the Adversary that is simply not worth the taste. For me, having a little is never the solution for wanting a lot.
Often as I visit with other people who struggle with unhealthy eating patterns I am asked if I think the Lord could extend to them the blessing the moderation with treats (those nutritiously empty calorie foods we consume for pure pleasure). I suppose the answer would have to be “yes.” The Lord can do anything that is for our best good. But moderation with what we term “junk food” in today’s society is a gift He has not given me. Although I have experienced years of the gift of abstinence, I have never experienced any lasting success in receiving the gift of moderation when it come to treats.
Every once in a while I have given the moderation in “all things” challenge a shot. An alcoholic, “living in recovery” calls this, “The Grand Experiment.” These are the thoughts I recorded in my journal after one such experimental spree:
“After eighteen years experience applying the principles of recovery I experienced some uncontrolled eating in connection with a party tonight. I’m not sure what to think? Was it relapse or was it recovery? Let’s see…my eating was filled with dishonest optimism…. “I’m only going to have a taste,” with the backup justification, “This is a celebration!” Any addict with more that thirty minutes of clean time would call this, “Stinkin’ Thinkin!” I certainly did not stop with a polite taste. It interrupted my peace. In fact, it contributed to my “un-peace.” Is un-peace over unhealthy eating choices something to recover from? It seems to be completely unhelpful for me to think of poor eating as some kind of recovery. The addict/alcoholic in recovery would tell me that to recover from addiction by learning to use in moderation has never ever been an effective path to recovery. In fact, striving for moderation in an area where one is truly addicted is a sweeping gateway toward relapse no matter what the addiction.
Addiction is triggered by an activity or substance that incites craving and unrest in the user. And while it’s true that alcoholics still drink something, over spenders still spend, and overeaters still eat. In recovery we do not drink, spend, or eat that which knocks at the door and threatens our sanity.
I’m sure that science and psychology have volumes of response to the feelings I have expressed. But for me, for today, I am going to stick with what’s working – abstaining under the direction and with the power of the Lord. I don’t do well with treats. I don’t want just a morsel. Living this way has blessed me with a ninety pound sustained weight loss, with greater serenity than I have ever known, and with a relationship with Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ I never dreamed possible. Hats off to all those “Oh I just couldn’t eat an other bite” folks, and I know there are many. I’m not one of them. As for me, when it comes to certain foods, having a little is never the solution for wanting a lot.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, December 14, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tonight I have three separate Christmas parties to attend; all of them involve my drug of choice, food. No matter what our drug of choice, holidays always challenge my commitment to live in recovery, clean and sober. Again, I am very aware that there are many people in the world who are able to eat in moderation and with sanity. I am not.
One night after pajamas were on, teeth brushed, and story read, I over heard the following conversation between Sammy and her dad:
“Daddy, I’m hungry!” Sammy announced as she was being carried off to bed.
“Would you like a bowl of cereal?” Daddy asked.
Sammy replied, “No daddy, not that…something good!
Daddy responded, “Are you hungry Sam, or do you just want a treat?”
The thought immediately came to my mind, “Nannette, that’s a good question to ask yourself whenever the desire to eat comes up or the opportunity to eat comes along.”
I looked up the word “treat.” You knew I would! I laughed when I saw that one of the synonyms was “morsel.”
“What?” I said, “But a morsel is just a little bit!”
“Exactly, Nannette!”
I guess that for many people having a treat is having a little taste of something. For me the, “I’ll just have a little bit, thanks” or “Please cut my piece in half,” sets me up for a wrestle with cravings and a battle with the Adversary that is simply not worth the taste. For me, having a little is never the solution for wanting a lot.
Often as I visit with other people who struggle with unhealthy eating patterns I am asked if I think the Lord could extend to them the blessing the moderation with treats (those nutritiously empty calorie foods we consume for pure pleasure). I suppose the answer would have to be “yes.” The Lord can do anything that is for our best good. But moderation with what we term “junk food” in today’s society is a gift He has not given me. Although I have experienced years of the gift of abstinence, I have never experienced any lasting success in receiving the gift of moderation when it come to treats.
Every once in a while I have given the moderation in “all things” challenge a shot. An alcoholic, “living in recovery” calls this, “The Grand Experiment.” These are the thoughts I recorded in my journal after one such experimental spree:
“After eighteen years experience applying the principles of recovery I experienced some uncontrolled eating in connection with a party tonight. I’m not sure what to think? Was it relapse or was it recovery? Let’s see…my eating was filled with dishonest optimism…. “I’m only going to have a taste,” with the backup justification, “This is a celebration!” Any addict with more that thirty minutes of clean time would call this, “Stinkin’ Thinkin!” I certainly did not stop with a polite taste. It interrupted my peace. In fact, it contributed to my “un-peace.” Is un-peace over unhealthy eating choices something to recover from? It seems to be completely unhelpful for me to think of poor eating as some kind of recovery. The addict/alcoholic in recovery would tell me that to recover from addiction by learning to use in moderation has never ever been an effective path to recovery. In fact, striving for moderation in an area where one is truly addicted is a sweeping gateway toward relapse no matter what the addiction.
Addiction is triggered by an activity or substance that incites craving and unrest in the user. And while it’s true that alcoholics still drink something, over spenders still spend, and overeaters still eat. In recovery we do not drink, spend, or eat that which knocks at the door and threatens our sanity.
I’m sure that science and psychology have volumes of response to the feelings I have expressed. But for me, for today, I am going to stick with what’s working – abstaining under the direction and with the power of the Lord. I don’t do well with treats. I don’t want just a morsel. Living this way has blessed me with a ninety pound sustained weight loss, with greater serenity than I have ever known, and with a relationship with Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ I never dreamed possible. Hats off to all those “Oh I just couldn’t eat an other bite” folks, and I know there are many. I’m not one of them. As for me, when it comes to certain foods, having a little is never the solution for wanting a lot.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, December 14, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, December 12, 2008
“Fit Us For Heaven” – Step 7
My favorite Christmas Carol is “Away In A Manger.” I smile as I look at the Hymnbook for the name of the one who penned these words. “Anonymous” it says - of course. I love the third verse. It expresses perfectly my Christmas wish, my Christmas prayer:
“Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
And fit us for heaven, to live with Thee there.”
(Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 206)
My favorite word is in the last line. It’s the word “fit.” This verse is a prayerful invitation to the Lord to “fit” us for heaven. “To fit” means, “To make ready in advance, to prepare” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). It’s a humble appeal to the Lord to make us ready and to prepare us in every way for Eternal Life.
I am so grateful to understand that I’m not left to myself with the work of becoming “fit” for heaven and the preparation necessary to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ forever. Now that I know this truth for myself I see it taught everywhere, even in this humble little carol. My work is to nourish my desire to be “fitted” by Him so I might live with Him. Then I must draw near to Him in humble need, as represented by the words, “Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care.” With this prayer I give the Lord permission and make Him free to do all the ”fitting” necessary.
By Nannette W.
Posted, Friday, December 12, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
And fit us for heaven, to live with Thee there.”
(Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 206)
My favorite word is in the last line. It’s the word “fit.” This verse is a prayerful invitation to the Lord to “fit” us for heaven. “To fit” means, “To make ready in advance, to prepare” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). It’s a humble appeal to the Lord to make us ready and to prepare us in every way for Eternal Life.
I am so grateful to understand that I’m not left to myself with the work of becoming “fit” for heaven and the preparation necessary to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ forever. Now that I know this truth for myself I see it taught everywhere, even in this humble little carol. My work is to nourish my desire to be “fitted” by Him so I might live with Him. Then I must draw near to Him in humble need, as represented by the words, “Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care.” With this prayer I give the Lord permission and make Him free to do all the ”fitting” necessary.
By Nannette W.
Posted, Friday, December 12, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
His “Master-piece!” Steps 1,2, and 3
Outside my fifth grade classroom door, in the hall, there was a glass case on the wall dedicated to showing off exceptional work from students in our room. Every Friday afternoon was devoted to “art” and after our projects were completed the very best were selected, placed in the glass case, and displayed before the entire student body. I don’t remember feeling one way or another about my apparent lack of talent until the end of my fifth grade year.
It was Friday afternoon. We had just finished a still life painting of a pot of flowers. The bell was about the ring when the teacher asked this question. “Which of you have not had a piece of art displayed in the hall this year. Five mortified ten year olds raised their hands. I was one of them. “I would like each of you to call home and tell your parents you will be staying after school to work on your art.”
There I sat at my little desk staring down at the Friday afternoon art project I thought I had finished. Apparently my attempt at capturing the pot of flowers in “still life,” on paper was not acceptable. I kept hoping that my teacher would bring me a clean piece of paper and that I could start fresh, but this was not her plan. For at least an hour I worked over my painting, trying to please my teacher and somehow make my picture worthy to be hung in the hall. The more I painted the worse it got. As the reds and yellows turned to brown I applied more paint hoping to cover up the mess. I worked so long that even the “mat,” which is the top layer of special art paper, started to lift. To my total dismay, mixed in with my paint were little balls of paper. I was half relieved and half mortified when the teacher finally announced that our opportunity to improve our picture was over and that we would find these pictures in the classroom display case on Monday morning. This experience definitely solidified my decision not to continue any further elective study of art. It also created an indelible memory of my seemingly insensitive teacher.
Although memories of the past interactions with grownups (teachers, parents, bosses, ecclesiastical leaders etc.) do not always represent the truth they can sometimes influence our current perceptions of those in authority. Sometimes our past experience affects the way we view God.
The first key to making progress in the area of need that brought us to a 12 Step application of Gospel principles is honesty about our inability to make lasting progress on our own. The second key is to develop hope that God can and will help us. Many of us grew up believing that God would help us with only certain kinds of things. I was of the understanding (or misunderstanding) that like my fifth grade teacher, He was surely disappointed in me, not as an artist of course, but as a person, and that He expected me to clean up and clear up all messes of my own making. Obviously this belief would never lead me to take my struggle with compulsive/addictive behavior to Heavenly Father and to His Son. My perception was that they would help me with “good girl” problems, like having and earache, loosing my keys, or remembering something I had spent hours learning. On the other hand, those struggles that represented my weaknesses or out right sins were up to me to take care of. I was to fix myself so I would be worthy of their love and acceptance.
Like the ten year who old worked over that painted pot of flowers, watching the beautiful colors turn more brown with every stroke, seeing it go from bad to worse until the paper nearly came apart, I worked on my self destructive behaviors until my heart for “self” improvement was broken. There were two options set before me. I could give up, or I could experiment with the idea that God is all loving, all knowing, and all-powerful and that His desire is to extend to me all the love, direction, and power necessary to clean up all messes of my own making.
I chose to practice believing in this very personal loving powerful God and to keep my eyes open for evidence of the reality of such a Being. Today I can testify of His reality. He does not resemble my fifth grade teacher (or my perception of her), bless her soul. He was willing to sacrifice His life for my success.
If we allow Jesus Christ to be the Master, He has all the paper, paint, and patience it will take to help us produce a Masterpiece! A “Master-piece” is anything we are able to do or create or become through the enabling power of our Master. And in the end we will find that His work and glory has been to make you and I His “Master-piece!”
By Nannette W.
Posted, Thursday, December 11, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
It was Friday afternoon. We had just finished a still life painting of a pot of flowers. The bell was about the ring when the teacher asked this question. “Which of you have not had a piece of art displayed in the hall this year. Five mortified ten year olds raised their hands. I was one of them. “I would like each of you to call home and tell your parents you will be staying after school to work on your art.”
There I sat at my little desk staring down at the Friday afternoon art project I thought I had finished. Apparently my attempt at capturing the pot of flowers in “still life,” on paper was not acceptable. I kept hoping that my teacher would bring me a clean piece of paper and that I could start fresh, but this was not her plan. For at least an hour I worked over my painting, trying to please my teacher and somehow make my picture worthy to be hung in the hall. The more I painted the worse it got. As the reds and yellows turned to brown I applied more paint hoping to cover up the mess. I worked so long that even the “mat,” which is the top layer of special art paper, started to lift. To my total dismay, mixed in with my paint were little balls of paper. I was half relieved and half mortified when the teacher finally announced that our opportunity to improve our picture was over and that we would find these pictures in the classroom display case on Monday morning. This experience definitely solidified my decision not to continue any further elective study of art. It also created an indelible memory of my seemingly insensitive teacher.
Although memories of the past interactions with grownups (teachers, parents, bosses, ecclesiastical leaders etc.) do not always represent the truth they can sometimes influence our current perceptions of those in authority. Sometimes our past experience affects the way we view God.
The first key to making progress in the area of need that brought us to a 12 Step application of Gospel principles is honesty about our inability to make lasting progress on our own. The second key is to develop hope that God can and will help us. Many of us grew up believing that God would help us with only certain kinds of things. I was of the understanding (or misunderstanding) that like my fifth grade teacher, He was surely disappointed in me, not as an artist of course, but as a person, and that He expected me to clean up and clear up all messes of my own making. Obviously this belief would never lead me to take my struggle with compulsive/addictive behavior to Heavenly Father and to His Son. My perception was that they would help me with “good girl” problems, like having and earache, loosing my keys, or remembering something I had spent hours learning. On the other hand, those struggles that represented my weaknesses or out right sins were up to me to take care of. I was to fix myself so I would be worthy of their love and acceptance.
Like the ten year who old worked over that painted pot of flowers, watching the beautiful colors turn more brown with every stroke, seeing it go from bad to worse until the paper nearly came apart, I worked on my self destructive behaviors until my heart for “self” improvement was broken. There were two options set before me. I could give up, or I could experiment with the idea that God is all loving, all knowing, and all-powerful and that His desire is to extend to me all the love, direction, and power necessary to clean up all messes of my own making.
I chose to practice believing in this very personal loving powerful God and to keep my eyes open for evidence of the reality of such a Being. Today I can testify of His reality. He does not resemble my fifth grade teacher (or my perception of her), bless her soul. He was willing to sacrifice His life for my success.
If we allow Jesus Christ to be the Master, He has all the paper, paint, and patience it will take to help us produce a Masterpiece! A “Master-piece” is anything we are able to do or create or become through the enabling power of our Master. And in the end we will find that His work and glory has been to make you and I His “Master-piece!”
By Nannette W.
Posted, Thursday, December 11, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
“An Effectual Struggle” - 12 Step Work
In all scripture the word “delivered” appears 939 times. I have come to understand that the scriptures, and specifically the Book of Mormon, are the Lord’s handbook of instructions for being delivered from captivity, from bondage of any kind, through His power. The Book of Mormon is the handbook for being released from the bondage of compulsive and addictive behavior. It is the most powerful recovery literature on the earth.
Early in my recovery experience I purchased a new copy of the Book of Mormon and 12 colored pencils and began to underline my scriptures for the 12 Steps. My study became delightful as the Spirit helped me see that the principles represented by the steps are taught on every page of the Book of Mormon.
I love the following verse. These are the words of Limhi to his people. They are people who have done things that have resulted in debilitating bondage. Because of the loss of their freedom and the severity of their conditions they finally humble themselves before the Lord. This is different than just being miserable, sad, and angry. The Lord responds and sends Ammon to fortify them with Gospel truth and direction that will eventually result in their being delivered out of the hands of their enemy.
These are Limhi’s words to his people as he gathers them together with newfound hope:
“…O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made”. (Mosiah 7:18)
I can’t say it any better that Limhi, so I take the liberty of taking his instruction to his enslaved people for myself: “Lift up your head and be comforted Nannette. The time is not far distant when you will not be in subjection to the enemy of compulsive/addictive behavior. Much of your past struggle has been in vain, “of no value, unsuccessful, conceited” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Your successes have been short lived at best.”
Limhi closes this verse by telling his people that there will be struggle ahead, but that this time the struggle will not be in vain. This time, their struggle, their work will be “effectual.” The word “effectual” means “producing or capable of producing desired results, effective, or efficient” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). What a wonderful promise.
When recovery WORK gets challenging I take heart from the words of Limhi, “…yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made.” A struggle - Yes! Work - Yes! But, this time will be different. This time my work, my struggle will be effective. It will bring freedom from the tyranny of addiction. 12 Step work is an “EFFECTUAL” struggle!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 8, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Early in my recovery experience I purchased a new copy of the Book of Mormon and 12 colored pencils and began to underline my scriptures for the 12 Steps. My study became delightful as the Spirit helped me see that the principles represented by the steps are taught on every page of the Book of Mormon.
I love the following verse. These are the words of Limhi to his people. They are people who have done things that have resulted in debilitating bondage. Because of the loss of their freedom and the severity of their conditions they finally humble themselves before the Lord. This is different than just being miserable, sad, and angry. The Lord responds and sends Ammon to fortify them with Gospel truth and direction that will eventually result in their being delivered out of the hands of their enemy.
These are Limhi’s words to his people as he gathers them together with newfound hope:
“…O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made”. (Mosiah 7:18)
I can’t say it any better that Limhi, so I take the liberty of taking his instruction to his enslaved people for myself: “Lift up your head and be comforted Nannette. The time is not far distant when you will not be in subjection to the enemy of compulsive/addictive behavior. Much of your past struggle has been in vain, “of no value, unsuccessful, conceited” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Your successes have been short lived at best.”
Limhi closes this verse by telling his people that there will be struggle ahead, but that this time the struggle will not be in vain. This time, their struggle, their work will be “effectual.” The word “effectual” means “producing or capable of producing desired results, effective, or efficient” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). What a wonderful promise.
When recovery WORK gets challenging I take heart from the words of Limhi, “…yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made.” A struggle - Yes! Work - Yes! But, this time will be different. This time my work, my struggle will be effective. It will bring freedom from the tyranny of addiction. 12 Step work is an “EFFECTUAL” struggle!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 8, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Sledding with Sammy – Surprise! – Step 3 & 11
Sledding down the hill at the elementary school park with the “Grands” might be the extent of my winter games as a Grandma, but there is something potentially youthful and energizing about being the willing grandma of a three year old. This is for those of you who wish there was Christmas snow on the ground.
Last season Sammy and her mom were about played-out by the time I surrendered to their earlier invitation and put on my boots and coat, and ventured to the park to see if they were still enjoying the newly fallen snow. I found them heading home. They had gone down the hill numerous times and played together on all the playground equipment as though it were a summer day. But upon seeing me, Sammy was willing to give Grandma Nan the thrill of a few tandem runs down the little snow-packed rise her daddy had gone down a hundred times as a little kid. I had forgotten my gloves, and her little mittens were, by now, caked with ice, so we couldn’t stay long. We trudged up together, falling and laughing, and we sat nervously together anticipating the ride, and then we screamed with delight as we slid to the bottom. As I walked into the park I thought that I was doing Sammy a service. I was wrong. I think the few minutes of winter magic were indeed a present to me.
I tend to be more comfortable when life is routine, when there are no surprises. That’s one of the reasons I struggle with the advice to turn my life and will over the care of God. I have an inkling that God is like Sammy, and that He is going to invite me to go sledding, or something equal to or even more unusual and adventurous.
I think children must be God’s initiation bearers, into the world of the divine unknown. They break into our “adultish” routine and invite us to experiment with surprise, with hidden treasure, to brave the discomfort of the cold and the frozen in hopeful anticipation of upcoming delight. I’m grateful He sends children to prepare His way. I pray for the courage it takes to participate with these little adventurers. There is something about being with them that makes me want to be more like them, more willing to trust in Heaven’s care and simply enjoy the thrill not knowing.
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, December 6, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Last season Sammy and her mom were about played-out by the time I surrendered to their earlier invitation and put on my boots and coat, and ventured to the park to see if they were still enjoying the newly fallen snow. I found them heading home. They had gone down the hill numerous times and played together on all the playground equipment as though it were a summer day. But upon seeing me, Sammy was willing to give Grandma Nan the thrill of a few tandem runs down the little snow-packed rise her daddy had gone down a hundred times as a little kid. I had forgotten my gloves, and her little mittens were, by now, caked with ice, so we couldn’t stay long. We trudged up together, falling and laughing, and we sat nervously together anticipating the ride, and then we screamed with delight as we slid to the bottom. As I walked into the park I thought that I was doing Sammy a service. I was wrong. I think the few minutes of winter magic were indeed a present to me.
I tend to be more comfortable when life is routine, when there are no surprises. That’s one of the reasons I struggle with the advice to turn my life and will over the care of God. I have an inkling that God is like Sammy, and that He is going to invite me to go sledding, or something equal to or even more unusual and adventurous.
I think children must be God’s initiation bearers, into the world of the divine unknown. They break into our “adultish” routine and invite us to experiment with surprise, with hidden treasure, to brave the discomfort of the cold and the frozen in hopeful anticipation of upcoming delight. I’m grateful He sends children to prepare His way. I pray for the courage it takes to participate with these little adventurers. There is something about being with them that makes me want to be more like them, more willing to trust in Heaven’s care and simply enjoy the thrill not knowing.
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, December 6, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
“______ ! The Herald Angels Sing” – Step 11 - Personal Revelation
Ethan, at age five, had his own version of the traditional Christmas Carol, “Hark, The Herald Angles Sing.” I find his rendition instructive any time of year. As he could not relate in any way to the word “Hark,” he filled in with a word that rhymed and also made perfect sense to him. Ethan simply exchanged the word “Hark” for the word “Park,” For Ethan, the Christmas Carol instructions, delivered in the opening line of the song were as follows, “Park, The Herald Angels Sing!”
My thought after catching his word substitution was, “Ethan, that’s brilliant! I can’t possibly “HARK” unless I slow down and quiet down and ‘PARK!’” The word “hark” is to akin the word we are familiar with in scripture, “hearken.” It means to “listen with careful responsive attention” (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
Some days I am so busy and distracted I don’t stop long enough to connect with the quiet, simple, daily manifestations of angelic assistance. If my heart is not full of “Glory to the new born King” maybe I need to stop a while, to PARK on my knees, or with my scriptures, or my journal, in an easy chair with sweet music playing in the background and prepare to give attention to and receive the tender help of His holy angels who are round about me and sent to bear me up. (D&C 84:88) “Park! The Herald Angels Still Sing.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
My thought after catching his word substitution was, “Ethan, that’s brilliant! I can’t possibly “HARK” unless I slow down and quiet down and ‘PARK!’” The word “hark” is to akin the word we are familiar with in scripture, “hearken.” It means to “listen with careful responsive attention” (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
Some days I am so busy and distracted I don’t stop long enough to connect with the quiet, simple, daily manifestations of angelic assistance. If my heart is not full of “Glory to the new born King” maybe I need to stop a while, to PARK on my knees, or with my scriptures, or my journal, in an easy chair with sweet music playing in the background and prepare to give attention to and receive the tender help of His holy angels who are round about me and sent to bear me up. (D&C 84:88) “Park! The Herald Angels Still Sing.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Just Who Is On That “Naughty List?”
Eliza reminds me of myself sometimes. She’s the oldest grandchild on both sides of her family, very serious and quite responsible, as first children tend to be. She’s the “other mother” in her family, because from the view of the oldest child, one mother is never quite enough to keep everything and everyone in line, and who makes a better candidate for the “other mother” position than the oldest sister? I understand perfectly, Eliza!
One evening, just before Christmas one year, Eliza and Ethan were working on a project at my kitchen table. I had Christmas music playing in the background and they were singing along to the songs that were familiar to them.
In the middle of a song they both obviously found quite silly, Ethan laughed and hollered out, “Hey Liza, what if we really saw mommy kissing Santa Clause?”
Eliza’s all knowing response was, “She’d be on the Naughty List!”
So often I think I have things all figured out too, only to find later that I am missing a critical part of the picture. In recovery we often talk about the importance of being “honest, open minded, and willing.” These qualities are the humble path we take that allows the Lord to fill in missing information and replace false perceptions with truth that is critical to our progress. The “ah-ha” moments that come when we are honest before the Lord and open to His mind and His will are priceless.
I imagine I am being observed by the Spiritually more mature in Heaven and on the earth. I’m sure some of my childish perceptions must bring a shake of the head and knowing smile to their lips. Their reaction is probably very similar to my own. As my Grandchildren discussed the placement of their Mother on the “Naughty List” (should she ever fall and give Santa a kiss), I had every hope that in time their perception would change.
Today, even though I am the oldest child on all sides, I’m OK with not knowing everything. In recovery we “come to know” and we “come to believe.” Progress is a process, not an event. I am learning to welcome any change in perception that helps me grow. It makes every new day an adventure!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 1, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
One evening, just before Christmas one year, Eliza and Ethan were working on a project at my kitchen table. I had Christmas music playing in the background and they were singing along to the songs that were familiar to them.
In the middle of a song they both obviously found quite silly, Ethan laughed and hollered out, “Hey Liza, what if we really saw mommy kissing Santa Clause?”
Eliza’s all knowing response was, “She’d be on the Naughty List!”
So often I think I have things all figured out too, only to find later that I am missing a critical part of the picture. In recovery we often talk about the importance of being “honest, open minded, and willing.” These qualities are the humble path we take that allows the Lord to fill in missing information and replace false perceptions with truth that is critical to our progress. The “ah-ha” moments that come when we are honest before the Lord and open to His mind and His will are priceless.
I imagine I am being observed by the Spiritually more mature in Heaven and on the earth. I’m sure some of my childish perceptions must bring a shake of the head and knowing smile to their lips. Their reaction is probably very similar to my own. As my Grandchildren discussed the placement of their Mother on the “Naughty List” (should she ever fall and give Santa a kiss), I had every hope that in time their perception would change.
Today, even though I am the oldest child on all sides, I’m OK with not knowing everything. In recovery we “come to know” and we “come to believe.” Progress is a process, not an event. I am learning to welcome any change in perception that helps me grow. It makes every new day an adventure!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, December 1, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Merry Christmas and “Dime Store” Serenity – Step 12 Service
As far back as I can remember the Christmas season seemed to bring with it both excitement and anxiety. I grew up the oldest child in a family of nine. When December 1st rolled around one of my biggest concerns was how to get enough money to buy each of my siblings and my parents a Christmas present. As the seven of us were growing up we were each expected to do a weekly household job, without pay, just because we were part of the family. My father was a schoolteacher and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. There was not much excess.
I think back with gratitude that my mother had a plan to help us take care of our financial age 4-11 Christmas worries. Without fail, every Saturday morning for several weeks before the Big Day the old 3’ by 4’ piece of blackboard came out from behind the couch. Mom would use the chalk and fill the blackboard with lists of lots of little jobs (vacuuming the edges of a room, cleaning this drawer or that shelf, wiping window sills, cleaning a mirror or a window, shining up the woodwork etc). The list represented all the extra little things that needed to be accomplished around the house to really spruce the place up for the holidays. Mom took advantage of our need for a little money. Next to each job she chalked in how much money she would pay for that job “well done.” Each job was worth anywhere from five to twenty five cents. There were things on the board for all ages. I remember being very motivated by this system. As a job was completed we were paid and the completed task was erased. It was fun to see the little old black board empty by noon on Saturday.
When it was empty it meant we had each moved one Saturday closer to that magnificent yearly family excursion to the local “dime store” Newberry’s, where we would each purchase eight Christmas treasures. We split into two groups, each group being manned by one parent. Each of us got to push around our own cart. We thought that was pretty cool. We were required to bring a coat. The purpose of the coat was to provide cover over our secrets. There must have been much less concern over shoplifting back then. We sleuthed around the store, hiding things behind our backs, whispering in Mom or Dad’s ear, waiting for validation that the choice we had made for someone was “a great idea, honey!” I don’t think we ever had more that ten or fifteen dollars to spread eight ways. But, we all came home satisfied that we had worked for and secreted away eight “somethings” that were really going to bring smiles on Christmas morning.
Every year our Dad lovingly hand flocked a little tree for our “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas in Los Angeles,” mother. Before our shopping spree each year it was bare under the tree. After the shopping was complete there was no pause between entry into the house and our scurrying into some hiding place with paper, tape, and a stack of old Christmas cards we'd cut up to make just the right tag for each gift. Most times the tag was bigger than the gift. In one fell swoop we would move from having nothing under that tree to having a carpet of forty little things wrapped as only children can wrap, awaiting Christmas morning.
I don’t remember even one of the things I received as a result of this humble Christmas tradition. All I remember are feelings, the feeling that my mother cared enough to help us have a good experience giving to each other, a feeling of excitement at finding just the right thing that could be paid for with what was in my pocket, and the feelings of anticipation, of looking forward to the hour when all those little dime store packages would be opened one at a time with lots of “Thanks, that’s just what I wanted!” with hugs all around.
One of the most wide spread troubles of our day was the problem of debt. Spending is an activity that has become a compulsive/addictive behavior for many. Maybe the message of this old Christmas memory is, “Keep It Simple.” Surprises don’t need to be costly. Expressions of our love for each other don’t have to involve money at all. As kids we couldn’t have had any more fun if we’d each had a hundred dollars to spend. Although gifts will be given, maybe this Christmas the most important thing I can do for others doesn’t have to involve a tangible wrapped, ribboned and tagged gift at all. Maybe the greatest contribution I can make to others is to live in recovery, with the serenity and sanity that come from living within my means. Just as our mother helped us as children, the Lord can help us live this way, with JOY!
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, November 30, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I think back with gratitude that my mother had a plan to help us take care of our financial age 4-11 Christmas worries. Without fail, every Saturday morning for several weeks before the Big Day the old 3’ by 4’ piece of blackboard came out from behind the couch. Mom would use the chalk and fill the blackboard with lists of lots of little jobs (vacuuming the edges of a room, cleaning this drawer or that shelf, wiping window sills, cleaning a mirror or a window, shining up the woodwork etc). The list represented all the extra little things that needed to be accomplished around the house to really spruce the place up for the holidays. Mom took advantage of our need for a little money. Next to each job she chalked in how much money she would pay for that job “well done.” Each job was worth anywhere from five to twenty five cents. There were things on the board for all ages. I remember being very motivated by this system. As a job was completed we were paid and the completed task was erased. It was fun to see the little old black board empty by noon on Saturday.
When it was empty it meant we had each moved one Saturday closer to that magnificent yearly family excursion to the local “dime store” Newberry’s, where we would each purchase eight Christmas treasures. We split into two groups, each group being manned by one parent. Each of us got to push around our own cart. We thought that was pretty cool. We were required to bring a coat. The purpose of the coat was to provide cover over our secrets. There must have been much less concern over shoplifting back then. We sleuthed around the store, hiding things behind our backs, whispering in Mom or Dad’s ear, waiting for validation that the choice we had made for someone was “a great idea, honey!” I don’t think we ever had more that ten or fifteen dollars to spread eight ways. But, we all came home satisfied that we had worked for and secreted away eight “somethings” that were really going to bring smiles on Christmas morning.
Every year our Dad lovingly hand flocked a little tree for our “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas in Los Angeles,” mother. Before our shopping spree each year it was bare under the tree. After the shopping was complete there was no pause between entry into the house and our scurrying into some hiding place with paper, tape, and a stack of old Christmas cards we'd cut up to make just the right tag for each gift. Most times the tag was bigger than the gift. In one fell swoop we would move from having nothing under that tree to having a carpet of forty little things wrapped as only children can wrap, awaiting Christmas morning.
I don’t remember even one of the things I received as a result of this humble Christmas tradition. All I remember are feelings, the feeling that my mother cared enough to help us have a good experience giving to each other, a feeling of excitement at finding just the right thing that could be paid for with what was in my pocket, and the feelings of anticipation, of looking forward to the hour when all those little dime store packages would be opened one at a time with lots of “Thanks, that’s just what I wanted!” with hugs all around.
One of the most wide spread troubles of our day was the problem of debt. Spending is an activity that has become a compulsive/addictive behavior for many. Maybe the message of this old Christmas memory is, “Keep It Simple.” Surprises don’t need to be costly. Expressions of our love for each other don’t have to involve money at all. As kids we couldn’t have had any more fun if we’d each had a hundred dollars to spend. Although gifts will be given, maybe this Christmas the most important thing I can do for others doesn’t have to involve a tangible wrapped, ribboned and tagged gift at all. Maybe the greatest contribution I can make to others is to live in recovery, with the serenity and sanity that come from living within my means. Just as our mother helped us as children, the Lord can help us live this way, with JOY!
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, November 30, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, November 28, 2008
“Falling” Into Christmas – Step 10 – Daily Accountability
My daughter called and related the following experience to me. She said she could call it, “Wild Boys on the Loose,” “Irresponsible Mothers,” “Christmas Tree Festival Gone Bad,” or “So There I Was…” but her first thought after it happened, after everyone in an auditorium full of Christmas Tree Charity Cheer was staring at her and her children, was “Here’s Something For Mom To Blog About.”
Quoting my daughter…“Sometimes I think the most constant thought in the mind of a little boy is, "What should I do next to drive my mother crazy? Well today my children and I went with some friends and their children to a charity event where decorated, donated Christmas trees are on display. They remain on exhibit for several days. Each tree is sold to the highest bidder and the money goes to charity. Things were going great in the beginning. There was a band playing. The children had a great time dancing to the music. We walked up and down all the rows of trees. I was pretty impressed at how good the kids were about not touching things.”
“We decided the Princess Tree was the perfect opportunity to take a picture of all our little girls. We lined all our princesses up in front of the Disney creation. Then one of the moms suggested we take a picture of all the little boys in front of one of the sets of three twenty foot, attached, wooden, lighted trees that stood in multiple places in the hall as decoration for the festival. While our attention was focused on the girls the little boys started crawling in between the wooden trees. We got them to stop, line up, and smile for the camera. My friend turned around to tell me she got a very cute picture of my son, TJ. I looked up just in time to see that the boys had resumed their play near the wooden trees. I was about to step in and break up the nonsense when catastrophe struck! Too late! One of the little fellows pushed another one, who fell against the three wooden trees. Suddenly the trees began to fall down right before my eyes. I was amazed by the number of thoughts I could have in the 5 seconds it took me to get over to the trees. The whole thing felt like it was in slow motion. My first thought was, “Those trees really aren't going to fall are they?” I pushed my friend aside and we both ran toward the disaster in progress. I thought about running behind the scene. I’m glad I rethought! The three wooden twenty-foot trees would have squished me. In the end all we could really do was watch them fall.”
“I stood there shocked over what had transpired, with complete embarrassment as the crowds turned and looked on, but feeling much gratitude that no one had been hurt and that there had been no domino effect on the other trees in the building.
Finally I addressed my two-year-old son. “TJ tell me what happened.”
“I pushed Mowoni ( Moroni ), Mowoni pushed the twees (trees), and the twees fall down.”
I don’t know what it is about the Thanksgiving/Christmas Season, but I seem to have more than average opportunity to practice Step 10, which is to, “Continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong promptly admit it.” Maybe it has something to do with high expectations, too little money, long to-do lists, hurry hurry, and more social gatherings than my calendar can handle. My daughter’s experience brought to my mind the very obvious nature of most of my own wrong doings. Like crashing twenty-foot Christmas trees, my daily errors are not usually hidden out of sight or wrapped in “whose to blame” confusion. This season I want to stay ahead of the game and be like TJ. When “the twees falls down” my confession should be immediate, simple, honest, and without excuse.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, November 28, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Quoting my daughter…“Sometimes I think the most constant thought in the mind of a little boy is, "What should I do next to drive my mother crazy? Well today my children and I went with some friends and their children to a charity event where decorated, donated Christmas trees are on display. They remain on exhibit for several days. Each tree is sold to the highest bidder and the money goes to charity. Things were going great in the beginning. There was a band playing. The children had a great time dancing to the music. We walked up and down all the rows of trees. I was pretty impressed at how good the kids were about not touching things.”
“We decided the Princess Tree was the perfect opportunity to take a picture of all our little girls. We lined all our princesses up in front of the Disney creation. Then one of the moms suggested we take a picture of all the little boys in front of one of the sets of three twenty foot, attached, wooden, lighted trees that stood in multiple places in the hall as decoration for the festival. While our attention was focused on the girls the little boys started crawling in between the wooden trees. We got them to stop, line up, and smile for the camera. My friend turned around to tell me she got a very cute picture of my son, TJ. I looked up just in time to see that the boys had resumed their play near the wooden trees. I was about to step in and break up the nonsense when catastrophe struck! Too late! One of the little fellows pushed another one, who fell against the three wooden trees. Suddenly the trees began to fall down right before my eyes. I was amazed by the number of thoughts I could have in the 5 seconds it took me to get over to the trees. The whole thing felt like it was in slow motion. My first thought was, “Those trees really aren't going to fall are they?” I pushed my friend aside and we both ran toward the disaster in progress. I thought about running behind the scene. I’m glad I rethought! The three wooden twenty-foot trees would have squished me. In the end all we could really do was watch them fall.”
“I stood there shocked over what had transpired, with complete embarrassment as the crowds turned and looked on, but feeling much gratitude that no one had been hurt and that there had been no domino effect on the other trees in the building.
Finally I addressed my two-year-old son. “TJ tell me what happened.”
“I pushed Mowoni ( Moroni ), Mowoni pushed the twees (trees), and the twees fall down.”
I don’t know what it is about the Thanksgiving/Christmas Season, but I seem to have more than average opportunity to practice Step 10, which is to, “Continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong promptly admit it.” Maybe it has something to do with high expectations, too little money, long to-do lists, hurry hurry, and more social gatherings than my calendar can handle. My daughter’s experience brought to my mind the very obvious nature of most of my own wrong doings. Like crashing twenty-foot Christmas trees, my daily errors are not usually hidden out of sight or wrapped in “whose to blame” confusion. This season I want to stay ahead of the game and be like TJ. When “the twees falls down” my confession should be immediate, simple, honest, and without excuse.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, November 28, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
“Does Pumpkin Pie Have To Be For Dessert?”
Last year at the end of Thanksgiving dinner, when the pies were finally set out for public consumption, my sister-in-law had this suggestion, “Next year let’s start with the pies and then set out all the other stuff.” Ethan’s (age 7) must have had the same idea this year at Thanksgiving dinner. He definitely had pie on the brain. I happen to know this because of the question he came asking in the middle of that very hectic, last minute, dinner prep panic. I sincerely hope this scenario is not unique to our family: Ethan’s dad (my son-in-law) by default, was slicing up the still flaming hot turkey, the Jell-O was starting to melt and the broccoli and mashed potatoes were getting colder by the minute, the cheese sauce was in need of another round in the microwave, and the gravy was yet to be made. Every child in the house had asked for a roll and every adult had already eaten one. Twenty-four family members waited for the call to prayer!
This was the picture of my kitchen when Ethan wandered through and asked, “Grandma, does the pumpkin pie have to be for dessert?”
“Yes Ethan.” I replied with a laugh.
“Oh Darn!” he said, with notable disappointment, as he ran out of the kitchen.
Now that was a profound question I thought, as I stood stirring the gravy. It represents the question of the ages. It’s one of the most important understandings we can settle on in our mortal minds, and as early as possible. I want the pumpkin pie first too, Ethan. I want to skip to the end of the book without wading through all the details. I want to be at the top of the mountain without the climb. I want to be a concert pianist without all those dreadful hours of practice. I want to speak Spanish without learning it. I want the new baby without the nine-month wait and the hours and hours of labor. I want to “play first, and play later.” I want the college degree without doing research and writing papers and attending lectures and taking tests. I want to recover without doing the 12 Step work that brings recovery.
“Yes, Ethan, the pumpkin pie is for dessert.” It works that way at Grandma Nan’s house. A taste of the yams, a spoonful of the three-bean salad, a bit of cranberry sauce and a dive into the mashed potatoes will have to be experienced before pie time arrives. It works that way in Heavenly Father’s house too. The “pumpkin pie last” principle is hard to accept but it’s really a great blessing. It keeps us moving forward, pressing forward, and looking forward. Part of our Heavenly Father’s plan is to save the best for last.
This principle was impressively operative in the life of His Son, Our Savior Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul says “…let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before him, ahead of him; the joy of sitting down at the right hand of His Heavenly Father.
Sometimes I want Eternity without putting in the “time.” We might be able to talk our Grandma into a sliver of this or that before we finish the veggies on the plate, but where God is concerned the best is yet to come. Pumpkin Pie Is For Dessert!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, November 27, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
This was the picture of my kitchen when Ethan wandered through and asked, “Grandma, does the pumpkin pie have to be for dessert?”
“Yes Ethan.” I replied with a laugh.
“Oh Darn!” he said, with notable disappointment, as he ran out of the kitchen.
Now that was a profound question I thought, as I stood stirring the gravy. It represents the question of the ages. It’s one of the most important understandings we can settle on in our mortal minds, and as early as possible. I want the pumpkin pie first too, Ethan. I want to skip to the end of the book without wading through all the details. I want to be at the top of the mountain without the climb. I want to be a concert pianist without all those dreadful hours of practice. I want to speak Spanish without learning it. I want the new baby without the nine-month wait and the hours and hours of labor. I want to “play first, and play later.” I want the college degree without doing research and writing papers and attending lectures and taking tests. I want to recover without doing the 12 Step work that brings recovery.
“Yes, Ethan, the pumpkin pie is for dessert.” It works that way at Grandma Nan’s house. A taste of the yams, a spoonful of the three-bean salad, a bit of cranberry sauce and a dive into the mashed potatoes will have to be experienced before pie time arrives. It works that way in Heavenly Father’s house too. The “pumpkin pie last” principle is hard to accept but it’s really a great blessing. It keeps us moving forward, pressing forward, and looking forward. Part of our Heavenly Father’s plan is to save the best for last.
This principle was impressively operative in the life of His Son, Our Savior Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul says “…let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before him, ahead of him; the joy of sitting down at the right hand of His Heavenly Father.
Sometimes I want Eternity without putting in the “time.” We might be able to talk our Grandma into a sliver of this or that before we finish the veggies on the plate, but where God is concerned the best is yet to come. Pumpkin Pie Is For Dessert!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, November 27, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
“I Love You Jesus,” said little Nan...
Years ago, in a General Conference talk, President Monson shared the poem, “Which Loved Best?” It was timely for me, in the middle of raising my family. In those days I collected classic poems and helped my children memorize them as part of their home school curriculum. I remember listening to Elder Monson recite this poem, taking particular note of the message, and determining that it would be next up on the “poetry to teach” list.
Which Loved Best?
“I love you, mother,” said little John;
Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on,
And he was off to the garden swing,
Leaving his mother the wood to bring.
“I love you, mother,” said rosy Nell;
“I love you better than tongue can tell”;
Then she teased and pouted full half the day,
Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.
“I love you, mother,” said little Fan;
“Today I’ll help you all I can.
How glad I am that school doesn’t keep!”
So she rocked the baby till it fell asleep.
Then, stepping softly, she took the broom,
And swept the floor, and dusted the room;
Busy and happy all day was she,
Helpful and cheerful as child could be.
“I love you, mother,” again they said—
Three little children going to bed;
How do you think that mother guessed
Which of them really loved her best?”
(Joy Allison, Highdays and Holidays, 133)
If you have children or if you’ve ever been a child I’m sure you can imagine my motivation in teaching this poem to my five, at home all day, mostly obedient, nearly constant companions. The big manipulation, I mean the big message, in my mind was, “Kids, if you really love me then be kind, be helpful, and be obedient all day long! If you really love me, show me!!!”
I’m not sure the poem proved to be successful manipulation or proper motivation. Later I ran across and studied a verse of scripture that helped me understand why. In D&C 42:29 the Lord said, “If thou lovest me thou shalt serve me and keep all of my commandments.”
I decided to look up the little word “shalt.” According the dictionary the word “shalt” is “used to express what seems inevitable or likely.” The verse might read, “If you love me [it is very likely or inevitable that you will] keep my commandments.” This thought came to my mind: “Nannette, God is not manipulating us here like a whiney mother saying: ‘If you really love me you would do the dishes; you would get up for church, etc.’ No! God is expressing the truth that the natural result of love for Him is obedience.”
Out of lack of patience and understanding am I guilty of putting the cart before the horse? Have I not understood the relationship between love and obedience in my relationship to my children or to the Lord? In both cases I have often focused on the look of love instead of the real thing.
Could it be that serving God and keeping His commandments will flow naturally out of my love for Him? Keeping or not keeping commandments is in fact an outward sign of my feelings for Him. So often I put all my focus and energy toward working on a particular commandment that is difficult for me. Maybe I would make more progress in obedience if I worked on my feelings for the Lord.
The next question is, “What can I do to help my love for God grow?” 1 John 4:19 says, “We love Him, because he first loved us,” John is saying that we love Jesus to the extent that we recognize His love for us. Conscious contact with His love for us yields love for Him, and love for Him yields obedience.
Lesson Learned: As I watch and pray to see the hand of the Lord in my life (evidence of His love for me) I receive the blessing of knowing that God loves me. I in turn feel love for God. The natural result of my love for God is my desire to serve Him and keep His commandments. My motivation becomes more pure. My actions become the expression of authentic love. “I Love You Jesus,” said little Nan…
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Which Loved Best?
“I love you, mother,” said little John;
Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on,
And he was off to the garden swing,
Leaving his mother the wood to bring.
“I love you, mother,” said rosy Nell;
“I love you better than tongue can tell”;
Then she teased and pouted full half the day,
Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.
“I love you, mother,” said little Fan;
“Today I’ll help you all I can.
How glad I am that school doesn’t keep!”
So she rocked the baby till it fell asleep.
Then, stepping softly, she took the broom,
And swept the floor, and dusted the room;
Busy and happy all day was she,
Helpful and cheerful as child could be.
“I love you, mother,” again they said—
Three little children going to bed;
How do you think that mother guessed
Which of them really loved her best?”
(Joy Allison, Highdays and Holidays, 133)
If you have children or if you’ve ever been a child I’m sure you can imagine my motivation in teaching this poem to my five, at home all day, mostly obedient, nearly constant companions. The big manipulation, I mean the big message, in my mind was, “Kids, if you really love me then be kind, be helpful, and be obedient all day long! If you really love me, show me!!!”
I’m not sure the poem proved to be successful manipulation or proper motivation. Later I ran across and studied a verse of scripture that helped me understand why. In D&C 42:29 the Lord said, “If thou lovest me thou shalt serve me and keep all of my commandments.”
I decided to look up the little word “shalt.” According the dictionary the word “shalt” is “used to express what seems inevitable or likely.” The verse might read, “If you love me [it is very likely or inevitable that you will] keep my commandments.” This thought came to my mind: “Nannette, God is not manipulating us here like a whiney mother saying: ‘If you really love me you would do the dishes; you would get up for church, etc.’ No! God is expressing the truth that the natural result of love for Him is obedience.”
Out of lack of patience and understanding am I guilty of putting the cart before the horse? Have I not understood the relationship between love and obedience in my relationship to my children or to the Lord? In both cases I have often focused on the look of love instead of the real thing.
Could it be that serving God and keeping His commandments will flow naturally out of my love for Him? Keeping or not keeping commandments is in fact an outward sign of my feelings for Him. So often I put all my focus and energy toward working on a particular commandment that is difficult for me. Maybe I would make more progress in obedience if I worked on my feelings for the Lord.
The next question is, “What can I do to help my love for God grow?” 1 John 4:19 says, “We love Him, because he first loved us,” John is saying that we love Jesus to the extent that we recognize His love for us. Conscious contact with His love for us yields love for Him, and love for Him yields obedience.
Lesson Learned: As I watch and pray to see the hand of the Lord in my life (evidence of His love for me) I receive the blessing of knowing that God loves me. I in turn feel love for God. The natural result of my love for God is my desire to serve Him and keep His commandments. My motivation becomes more pure. My actions become the expression of authentic love. “I Love You Jesus,” said little Nan…
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Why the Tears, Kimball? – Step 11 - Personal Revelation
My Sister, Jane, related to me the following experience she recently had with her two-year-old grandson, Kimball. Quoting Jane:
“I've been trying to learn Spanish by memorizing some of the primary songs in Spanish. I’m motivated in part by the desire to communicate better with my little two-year-old Spanish-speaking Grandson, Kimball. I have learned four songs, so the other day I decided to give Kimball, who is living far away from me, a call and sing them to him. I called in the afternoon. Kimball was busy playing and wasn’t interested in talking on the phone, so I we made a plan and when he was ready to listen, just before going to bed, his parents called and put me on speakerphone. It was a bit intimidating singing in Spanish to Kimball’s native speaking mother, his father, my son, who is not native but speaks like one, and a little fellow who doesn't understand much English because all he speaks at home is Spanish. But, I decided to give it my best shot, with my best accent!
I began singing and I got through the first couple of songs when suddenly Kimball totally lost it and started yelling and crying. I commented that I hoped my singing wasn't THAT bad. My daughter-in-law tried to figure out what was wrong and tried to calm Kimball down. Finally she said sincerely, “Mom, I think Kimball misses you.” They asked me to hurry and sing another song, which I did. He settled right down, so I sang another. He kept saying, "More, more," so I got out the little book that he and I sang out of so many times this last summer and began singing all the nursery rhyme songs. I just went from one song to the next. “More, more,” was his response. The call ended on a humorous note. I had a funny thought run through my mind while I was singing one of the songs. When I was finished Todd expressed it out loud. He said, "Mom I hate to tell you this, but you sound like the singing bush in the movie, 'The Three Amigos,'" and we both totally cracked up. While we were laughing he said, “The next song should be ‘She'll be Coming Round the Mountain.’” I turned the page of the songbook and to my surprise it WAS the next song. Then we laughed even harder.”
My sister shared her experience with me and I was reminded of how very tenderhearted we all are. Could it be possible that at age two this little man could be sensitive and capable of “missing” someone far away? I thought about the addict and remembered Scott Peck’s thought in The Road Less Traveled, that the addict is the most homesick person for Heaven, on the earth. In the LDS Family Services A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing (see side bar links) it says, “A common characteristic of many who have suffered from addiction is a sense of isolation. Even in a crowd or while engaged in activities where others might feel a sense of connectedness, we felt like we didn’t fit in” (Page 29).
A feeling of fellowship, acceptance and love from God and others are the seedbed of recovery and are a powerful and motivational aspect of the Church’s Addiction Recovery Program. When we participate in support group meetings we associate with other Saints who have admitted their great need for the help of God. We can relate. We fit in. Then as we work to apply Gospel principles that bring recovery we find ourselves participating with the Lord, hour by hour, one day at a time. We feel His love. We find we need never be alone.
Sometimes when I pray, sing a hymn, read scripture, hear a particular song, receive a thought through the Holy Spirit, or listen to others share their experience, faith and hope, I cry. I love to hear the voice of the Lord sing to me in any form. He speaks my language. He speaks yours. I miss Him. “More, more!!!” That’s how I feel too!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, November 22, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“I've been trying to learn Spanish by memorizing some of the primary songs in Spanish. I’m motivated in part by the desire to communicate better with my little two-year-old Spanish-speaking Grandson, Kimball. I have learned four songs, so the other day I decided to give Kimball, who is living far away from me, a call and sing them to him. I called in the afternoon. Kimball was busy playing and wasn’t interested in talking on the phone, so I we made a plan and when he was ready to listen, just before going to bed, his parents called and put me on speakerphone. It was a bit intimidating singing in Spanish to Kimball’s native speaking mother, his father, my son, who is not native but speaks like one, and a little fellow who doesn't understand much English because all he speaks at home is Spanish. But, I decided to give it my best shot, with my best accent!
I began singing and I got through the first couple of songs when suddenly Kimball totally lost it and started yelling and crying. I commented that I hoped my singing wasn't THAT bad. My daughter-in-law tried to figure out what was wrong and tried to calm Kimball down. Finally she said sincerely, “Mom, I think Kimball misses you.” They asked me to hurry and sing another song, which I did. He settled right down, so I sang another. He kept saying, "More, more," so I got out the little book that he and I sang out of so many times this last summer and began singing all the nursery rhyme songs. I just went from one song to the next. “More, more,” was his response. The call ended on a humorous note. I had a funny thought run through my mind while I was singing one of the songs. When I was finished Todd expressed it out loud. He said, "Mom I hate to tell you this, but you sound like the singing bush in the movie, 'The Three Amigos,'" and we both totally cracked up. While we were laughing he said, “The next song should be ‘She'll be Coming Round the Mountain.’” I turned the page of the songbook and to my surprise it WAS the next song. Then we laughed even harder.”
My sister shared her experience with me and I was reminded of how very tenderhearted we all are. Could it be possible that at age two this little man could be sensitive and capable of “missing” someone far away? I thought about the addict and remembered Scott Peck’s thought in The Road Less Traveled, that the addict is the most homesick person for Heaven, on the earth. In the LDS Family Services A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing (see side bar links) it says, “A common characteristic of many who have suffered from addiction is a sense of isolation. Even in a crowd or while engaged in activities where others might feel a sense of connectedness, we felt like we didn’t fit in” (Page 29).
A feeling of fellowship, acceptance and love from God and others are the seedbed of recovery and are a powerful and motivational aspect of the Church’s Addiction Recovery Program. When we participate in support group meetings we associate with other Saints who have admitted their great need for the help of God. We can relate. We fit in. Then as we work to apply Gospel principles that bring recovery we find ourselves participating with the Lord, hour by hour, one day at a time. We feel His love. We find we need never be alone.
Sometimes when I pray, sing a hymn, read scripture, hear a particular song, receive a thought through the Holy Spirit, or listen to others share their experience, faith and hope, I cry. I love to hear the voice of the Lord sing to me in any form. He speaks my language. He speaks yours. I miss Him. “More, more!!!” That’s how I feel too!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, November 22, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
“Only Us Are Going To Watch Ourselves!” – Step 10 Daily Accountability
As I was raising my children I involved them in lots of extra curricular, after school activities…dance, piano, violin, basketball, soccer, lacrosse, swimming, karate, band, and choir. You name it; someone tried it! Depending on the situation I accompanied them and listened and watched, or I dropped them off and picked them up after the practice, lesson or rehearsal. Sometimes as an observing parent I was allowed right in the room where the children were being instructed. Other times I looked on through a one-way window. Most often though, the return home conversation was the only connection I had with how things had gone during the activity, because parents were not invited to the class/practice. The reasoning was that learning requires the child’s focus. I must admit that a row of chitchatting mothers on the sidelines or younger siblings who can’t wait to run out onto the floor or court or into the studio does not facilitate focus and learning. It definitely presents a challenge for the young aspiring dancer, musician, or star of the game.
My daughters are now in the throws of after school activities. I was interviewing one of their little girls one morning about her plans for the day. She informed me that today was dancing day. She was quick to make sure I knew that I was NOT invited to observe. Apparently this was not parent visiting day and it was not the day of the final recital. She made this clear with these words, “Grandma, only us are going to watch ourselves!”
As she ran out of the room to put on her leotard, tights and little pink dance skirt her words echoed in my mind. “Grandma, only us are going to watch ourselves!” That’s a pretty important thing to learn to do in life. It’s such a temptation to focus on things that distract us from learning from our own experience. In Step 10 we are challenged to: “Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it.” In order for me to take this step I have to focus. I have to be self-observant. Sometimes I have to tune out the noisy world around me. Sometimes I have to ignore the cheers and the criticism from the sidelines and imagine that I am alone with my Teacher. Daily life is not a performance; it’s a lesson, a class, a rehearsal, a practice. There are great things to be learned today if I am brave enough to say to the world, “Today ‘only us are going to watch ourselves!’”
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, November 20, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
My daughters are now in the throws of after school activities. I was interviewing one of their little girls one morning about her plans for the day. She informed me that today was dancing day. She was quick to make sure I knew that I was NOT invited to observe. Apparently this was not parent visiting day and it was not the day of the final recital. She made this clear with these words, “Grandma, only us are going to watch ourselves!”
As she ran out of the room to put on her leotard, tights and little pink dance skirt her words echoed in my mind. “Grandma, only us are going to watch ourselves!” That’s a pretty important thing to learn to do in life. It’s such a temptation to focus on things that distract us from learning from our own experience. In Step 10 we are challenged to: “Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it.” In order for me to take this step I have to focus. I have to be self-observant. Sometimes I have to tune out the noisy world around me. Sometimes I have to ignore the cheers and the criticism from the sidelines and imagine that I am alone with my Teacher. Daily life is not a performance; it’s a lesson, a class, a rehearsal, a practice. There are great things to be learned today if I am brave enough to say to the world, “Today ‘only us are going to watch ourselves!’”
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, November 20, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
“Later Grandma!” – Step 11
During lunch one day I was talking to my Granddaughter Sammy (age four) and called her my “sister.” She told me in no uncertain terms that I was not her sister. I started trying to help her understand that in a “Heavenly” context I really was. I was barely into the explanation when she bolted from her chair at the kitchen table and said, as she skipped out of the room, “Let’s talk about this later Grandma.”
I chuckled to myself because it reminded me of the way I occasionally treat the Lord. Sometimes when he wants to do a little explaining, instead of feasting “upon the words of Christ” (2 Nephi 32:3) I say, in so many words, “Let’s talk about this later.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I chuckled to myself because it reminded me of the way I occasionally treat the Lord. Sometimes when he wants to do a little explaining, instead of feasting “upon the words of Christ” (2 Nephi 32:3) I say, in so many words, “Let’s talk about this later.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Danger of Supposing – Step 3 and Step 11
One of the blessings of the Book of Mormon is the realness of the people. The descriptions of their feelings during challenging times are authentic and can be very instructive. One of my favorite women in scripture is our sister Sariah, the wife of the Prophet Lehi. My experience is certainly not her experience. She has been asked by the Lord, through her husband, to give up all she has, except her children, and a handful of necessities and head for the wilderness. Her supportive feelings turn to terror when her sons, who have gone on an errand for the Lord, fail to return home as planned. Though her experience is extreme, many of us can relate on some level to her willingness one minute, to surrender so much to the Lord, and another minute, being paralyzed with fear that she might have lost it all.
Her son Nephi describes the situation, as he finds it, as he and his brothers return home with their mission accomplished. “And it came to pass that after we had come down into the wilderness unto our father, behold, he was filled with joy, and also my mother, Sariah, was exceedingly glad, for she truly had mourned because of us. For she had supposed that we had perished in the wilderness; and she also had complained against my father, telling him that he was a visionary man; saying: Behold thou hast led us forth from the land of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness.” (1 Nephi 5:1)
There are probably many things to be learned from the description of Sariah’s crisis of faith. This is an insight that came to me as I studied using my dictionary as a tool for greater understanding
The first thing that came to mind as I read Sariah’s experience was a personal question. “What gets me into spiritual trouble? I don’t think there are wasted words in scripture. As I searched the verses of the story for some answer this phrase stood out to me, “For she had supposed...”
What does it mean to “suppose?” I wondered. I looked it up and here’s what I found:
To “suppose” is to assume to be true, to expect, to think probable, to view a plausible or likely, to draw an inference from slight or inadequate evidence, to take for granted especially on trivial or inadequate grounds, to assume, imagine, suspect, guess, conjecture, presume, surmise, pretend or speculate.(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
The word “suppose” is such a seeming innocent little verb. Could it possibly be that our propensity for Godless “supposing” is the foundation for Godless fear, fear that leads us to whine, and complain, and sit down in the middle of the road of progress and eat a cake, or take a pill, or head for the mall.
Supposing is what I do out of fear. “Supposing” leads to uneducated worry, which leads to uneducated complaining, which leads to any number of uneducated choices. Today, instead of “supposing” in matters large and small I want to turn to my all- knowing Savior, Jesus Christ. Why should weary myself with “supposing” when I can turn to “The Truth!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 17, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Her son Nephi describes the situation, as he finds it, as he and his brothers return home with their mission accomplished. “And it came to pass that after we had come down into the wilderness unto our father, behold, he was filled with joy, and also my mother, Sariah, was exceedingly glad, for she truly had mourned because of us. For she had supposed that we had perished in the wilderness; and she also had complained against my father, telling him that he was a visionary man; saying: Behold thou hast led us forth from the land of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness.” (1 Nephi 5:1)
There are probably many things to be learned from the description of Sariah’s crisis of faith. This is an insight that came to me as I studied using my dictionary as a tool for greater understanding
The first thing that came to mind as I read Sariah’s experience was a personal question. “What gets me into spiritual trouble? I don’t think there are wasted words in scripture. As I searched the verses of the story for some answer this phrase stood out to me, “For she had supposed...”
What does it mean to “suppose?” I wondered. I looked it up and here’s what I found:
To “suppose” is to assume to be true, to expect, to think probable, to view a plausible or likely, to draw an inference from slight or inadequate evidence, to take for granted especially on trivial or inadequate grounds, to assume, imagine, suspect, guess, conjecture, presume, surmise, pretend or speculate.(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
The word “suppose” is such a seeming innocent little verb. Could it possibly be that our propensity for Godless “supposing” is the foundation for Godless fear, fear that leads us to whine, and complain, and sit down in the middle of the road of progress and eat a cake, or take a pill, or head for the mall.
Supposing is what I do out of fear. “Supposing” leads to uneducated worry, which leads to uneducated complaining, which leads to any number of uneducated choices. Today, instead of “supposing” in matters large and small I want to turn to my all- knowing Savior, Jesus Christ. Why should weary myself with “supposing” when I can turn to “The Truth!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 17, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
“It’s a Free Country!” Or Not - Abstinence
I can’t remember how young I was the first time I used the phrase, “It’s a free country” to justify something I had just done or something I wanted to do. My brother told me that when his son Jonathan, was just a little guy, he was next door playing with a friend. About dinnertime my brother walked to the neighbors to retrieve his three year old and bring him in for the night. He knocked. Jonathan and his little friend answered the door.
“It’s time to come home son, mom’s got dinner all ready,” said dad, hoping for a smooth transition.
Jonathan’s reply, “I don’t have to come home! It’s a free country! I can do anything I want!”
Later that night, my brother announced to Mister Independence that it was now time to take a bath. Once again Jonathan spoke his mind. With hands on his hips and with as much determination as he could exhibit, Jonathan reminded his dad that because of the kind of country we live in “free” he did not have to take a bath.
“I don’t have to take a bath. It’s a free country,” he said. And then, just to make his stance perfectly clear the little fellow who didn’t quite have the “th” sound mastered, added, “And when I turn four, it will be a four country!”
There seems to be a lot of confusion in the world, even among “big people” concerning the concept of freedom. This confusion is the root of so many of our world wide, national, and personal struggles, including the epidemic problem of addiction.
There are times when I am tempted to use the word “freedom” to justify my right to act out in some way that is unhealthy or destructive to me or to others. “I can eat this, do or not do that, say this, act like that…I’m free! It’s a free country! I usually don’t say it out loud. I allow it to run through my mind when the opportunity arises to take action, action that in the past, resulted in some kind of misery and a surprising loss of freedom.
Nephi tries to help us straighten out our confusion when he taught, “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.” (2 Nephi 2:27)
In other words, I have God given freedom to choose. I can use that freedom to choose greater freedom, or I can use it to choose captivity; to choose to be less free in some area of my life. Let’s take the freedom to eat for example; when I exert my freedom by choosing to eat well, I receive greater freedom in the form of a health body, clear thinking, ease of movement, and a mind free of worry about the subject. But if I use the freedom to choose to justify poor eating I forfeit freedom. For the alcoholic/addict that loss of freedom comes in the form of “jails, institutions, or death.” Although no one will ever put me in jail for destructive eating, I understand the sorrow of making a prison out of my own body.
Living in recovery is helping me sort out my own confusion about this business of freedom. Today I practice catching myself mid thought, before I take destructive action. The truth is, I am free to eat, drink, and take whatever I want into my body. I’m free to do or not do, to speak or not speak, and to act according to my will because, like Jonathan said, it is in fact is “a free country!” But on my next birthday, based on my choices this year, it won’t be a “four country” It will be a place of greater or lesser personal freedom based on my choices today.
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, November 15, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“It’s time to come home son, mom’s got dinner all ready,” said dad, hoping for a smooth transition.
Jonathan’s reply, “I don’t have to come home! It’s a free country! I can do anything I want!”
Later that night, my brother announced to Mister Independence that it was now time to take a bath. Once again Jonathan spoke his mind. With hands on his hips and with as much determination as he could exhibit, Jonathan reminded his dad that because of the kind of country we live in “free” he did not have to take a bath.
“I don’t have to take a bath. It’s a free country,” he said. And then, just to make his stance perfectly clear the little fellow who didn’t quite have the “th” sound mastered, added, “And when I turn four, it will be a four country!”
There seems to be a lot of confusion in the world, even among “big people” concerning the concept of freedom. This confusion is the root of so many of our world wide, national, and personal struggles, including the epidemic problem of addiction.
There are times when I am tempted to use the word “freedom” to justify my right to act out in some way that is unhealthy or destructive to me or to others. “I can eat this, do or not do that, say this, act like that…I’m free! It’s a free country! I usually don’t say it out loud. I allow it to run through my mind when the opportunity arises to take action, action that in the past, resulted in some kind of misery and a surprising loss of freedom.
Nephi tries to help us straighten out our confusion when he taught, “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.” (2 Nephi 2:27)
In other words, I have God given freedom to choose. I can use that freedom to choose greater freedom, or I can use it to choose captivity; to choose to be less free in some area of my life. Let’s take the freedom to eat for example; when I exert my freedom by choosing to eat well, I receive greater freedom in the form of a health body, clear thinking, ease of movement, and a mind free of worry about the subject. But if I use the freedom to choose to justify poor eating I forfeit freedom. For the alcoholic/addict that loss of freedom comes in the form of “jails, institutions, or death.” Although no one will ever put me in jail for destructive eating, I understand the sorrow of making a prison out of my own body.
Living in recovery is helping me sort out my own confusion about this business of freedom. Today I practice catching myself mid thought, before I take destructive action. The truth is, I am free to eat, drink, and take whatever I want into my body. I’m free to do or not do, to speak or not speak, and to act according to my will because, like Jonathan said, it is in fact is “a free country!” But on my next birthday, based on my choices this year, it won’t be a “four country” It will be a place of greater or lesser personal freedom based on my choices today.
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, November 15, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Likening ALL Scripture Unto Myself - It Takes Courage! - Scripture Study
One Sunday during the sacrament I prayed about what I might repent of. The answer that came to my mind was prompted directly by my Gospel Doctrine study that week. The prompting I received was that I needed to liken myself unto the “prayerless ponderers” I had just read about in 2 Nephi 32. What came to my mind was this. “Nannette, you are also guilty of too much pondering, mulling, frustrating over this and that and too little prayerful seeking of the words of Christ through the Holy Ghost to solve problems and answer your questions.” My conscience was pricked. I knew I had received truth. The Holy Ghost used ancient scripture and the sins of an ancient people to speak directly to me.
I the middle of the Gospel Doctrine lesson that followed, as the teacher rounded the corner to 2 Nephi 32, I raised my hand and shared the likening lesson I had experienced just moments before, during the Sacrament. The response was interesting. For the next 10 minutes, class members discussed the positive value of pondering. “Well, the Lord expects us to do some thinking on our own!” At last the teacher concluded and emphasized in no uncertain terms, “You know, these people Nephi was addressing were really really bad.” In other words, we couldn’t possibly liken ourselves to them.
I listened and made no further comment. I wondered though, how they might react, if they knew that in my study, I allow the Lord to teach me by likening my behavior unto a variety of scripturally imperfect mortals, like Laman, Jonah, faltering Sarah, etc. It’s worth it! It challenges! It helps me grow!
If I never see myself in the “bad guys” I will completely miss the remedy for redemption. And while I am busy patting myself on the back for not being “that bad,” those who recognize their “wickedness” are busy embracing the words of the prophets and the redemptive power of Jesus Christ for themselves. I fear for those of us who are “pretty good.” I fear that the “not that bad” will need the Savior “not that much.”
Like the little child who finds himself in trouble, we are not past playing the, “But he…” card, pointing out some greater sin in our brother or sister, ancient or modern. It makes us feel good as we place ourselves on the behavior scale and find that we score high on the chart in comparison. But what if in the end, it is not about a comparison based on behavior. What if it’s all about recognition of sin based on principles and learning to come unto Christ for redeeming power, no matter what the sin?
If a princess has only a pea-sized sin under her set of mattresses it’s still absolutely critical to recognize the thing and remove it. I think I can learn something about that process from what the prophets say to the princes and princesses attempting to rest on a foundation of boulders-sized sins.
Likening scripture is not about exact comparison. No human experience is the exact mirror of another. If that is what we are looking for we will miss some very important lessons. Here is a simple three-question method for likening all scripture unto ourselves and receiving all we can from the process:
1. What? – Prayerfully read the scripture story or account. Write about what happened, the details for story.
2. So What? – Prayerfully seek to understand and write about the principle involved.
3. What Now? - Be brave and allow the spirit to possibly convict you of your own weakness. Write about your experience. Then prayerfully receive and record the counsel you receive from the Holy Spirit and the scriptures.
I have been willing to study with an eye for my shortcomings in the light of greater understanding of the purpose of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As a result of His sacrifice He has received power to change me, convert me, redeem me today. That is His work and His glory. It brings Him joy. My work is to recognize my weaknesses and bring them to the Lord. I do that by asking myself some pretty hard questions. The outcome is worth any uncomfortable recognition about myself. The outcome is relationship with the Redeemer and resulting changes in me.
We can learn from the strengths and weaknesses of Nephi or Lot, Peter or Laman, Judas or Joseph. Our Savior was willing to suffer for us all. Somehow I think that levels the playing field. We are Heaven’s family. We can ALL learn from each other as we practice likening ALL scripture unto ourselves.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, November 14, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I the middle of the Gospel Doctrine lesson that followed, as the teacher rounded the corner to 2 Nephi 32, I raised my hand and shared the likening lesson I had experienced just moments before, during the Sacrament. The response was interesting. For the next 10 minutes, class members discussed the positive value of pondering. “Well, the Lord expects us to do some thinking on our own!” At last the teacher concluded and emphasized in no uncertain terms, “You know, these people Nephi was addressing were really really bad.” In other words, we couldn’t possibly liken ourselves to them.
I listened and made no further comment. I wondered though, how they might react, if they knew that in my study, I allow the Lord to teach me by likening my behavior unto a variety of scripturally imperfect mortals, like Laman, Jonah, faltering Sarah, etc. It’s worth it! It challenges! It helps me grow!
If I never see myself in the “bad guys” I will completely miss the remedy for redemption. And while I am busy patting myself on the back for not being “that bad,” those who recognize their “wickedness” are busy embracing the words of the prophets and the redemptive power of Jesus Christ for themselves. I fear for those of us who are “pretty good.” I fear that the “not that bad” will need the Savior “not that much.”
Like the little child who finds himself in trouble, we are not past playing the, “But he…” card, pointing out some greater sin in our brother or sister, ancient or modern. It makes us feel good as we place ourselves on the behavior scale and find that we score high on the chart in comparison. But what if in the end, it is not about a comparison based on behavior. What if it’s all about recognition of sin based on principles and learning to come unto Christ for redeeming power, no matter what the sin?
If a princess has only a pea-sized sin under her set of mattresses it’s still absolutely critical to recognize the thing and remove it. I think I can learn something about that process from what the prophets say to the princes and princesses attempting to rest on a foundation of boulders-sized sins.
Likening scripture is not about exact comparison. No human experience is the exact mirror of another. If that is what we are looking for we will miss some very important lessons. Here is a simple three-question method for likening all scripture unto ourselves and receiving all we can from the process:
1. What? – Prayerfully read the scripture story or account. Write about what happened, the details for story.
2. So What? – Prayerfully seek to understand and write about the principle involved.
3. What Now? - Be brave and allow the spirit to possibly convict you of your own weakness. Write about your experience. Then prayerfully receive and record the counsel you receive from the Holy Spirit and the scriptures.
I have been willing to study with an eye for my shortcomings in the light of greater understanding of the purpose of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As a result of His sacrifice He has received power to change me, convert me, redeem me today. That is His work and His glory. It brings Him joy. My work is to recognize my weaknesses and bring them to the Lord. I do that by asking myself some pretty hard questions. The outcome is worth any uncomfortable recognition about myself. The outcome is relationship with the Redeemer and resulting changes in me.
We can learn from the strengths and weaknesses of Nephi or Lot, Peter or Laman, Judas or Joseph. Our Savior was willing to suffer for us all. Somehow I think that levels the playing field. We are Heaven’s family. We can ALL learn from each other as we practice likening ALL scripture unto ourselves.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, November 14, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
“Ya, But You Wanna Know What!?!?” – Step 8
When a Grandma is the “honored guest” in the family van there is definitely a science to her placement. She is situated behind the son in law and diagonally behind her daughter for maximum capacity mother daughter chitchat. The youngest child is strategically placed in the captain chair, next to Grandma, for easy access to the senior "board book reader,” “sippy cup picker upper,” and “misplaced binki finder.” Her placement also happens to be directly in front of all older children as “storyteller,” “treat passer outer,” “song leader,” and “travel game enthusiast.” She is also, most importantly, the sender of all messages to the front, parental section of the car and the referee for all battles that erupt because the children are squished in the back of the car, hour after hour. This crowded situation, of course, is the result of bringing Grandma along in the first place. Though this position has its challenges, some Grandmas take to it like a duck to water. I know I do.
This summer I had the unforgettable experience of being the “honored guest” several times with multiple families. Of course, one of the most rewarding aspects of being with children, for me, is learning from what they say. Driving mile after mile through the desert with them might seem like being relegated to the traveling Primary Nursery, but for this grandma it’s like being invited into a greenhouse full of tender new thoughts.
Such seating arrangements on long trips provide opportunities for repentance and forgiveness. Most of us have grown up knowing that one of the four R’s of repentance is “Restitution.” When we repent using the 12 Steps, making restitution does not come until Step 9. If you are new to the steps you may wonder why 12 Steps are suggested when perhaps four steps were adequate in the past. Sometime the 12 Steps are referred to as “baby steps of repentance. One of the most helpful aspects of the 12 Steps in bringing about repentance and change is that each step which requires action, is preceded by a step that asks us to allow God to first prepare our hearts.
Yesterday in an Addiction Recovery Program meeting we were sharing about Step 8, which is to “Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.” Mind you, this is a step that takes place in the heart and precedes any and all making of amends. In many cases, before we can possibly make restitution for the harm we have done others we have to become willing to forgive others for the harm they have done to us. The Key Principle for Step 8 is forgiveness.
As we went around the circle in the meeting, sharing both the blessings and challenges of taking Step 8, I had a thought generated by a moment experienced while sitting in my Grandma seat in the “Family Greenhouse (Van).” There I sat, minding my own business of course, when suddenly there was a scream from the back seat. There was a little skirmish amongst two of the back seat sardines. As near as I could tell, “someone” hurt Carson and Carson hurt that “someone” back. It was loud enough to reach the front seat without the aid of Grandma. Dad called back, “Carson, did you hurt your brother?”
Carson’s response was, “Ya, but you wanna know what?”
Carson had a story to tell. Relaying the story did not justify his actions or excuse him from the important task of saying he was sorry or trying to make up for hurting his brother. But, before he could be truly feel regret for his part, it was important to Carson to share his view of the situation with his dad.
Before I can honestly make amends for hurts I have caused and the wrongs I have done I have to sincerely forgive those who have hurt me. The heart of forgiveness is a gift I can seek in conversation with God. Sometimes, after I have been convicted of some offence, the first words out of my heart, directed toward my Father are “Ya, but you wanna know what?”
And He does! He wants to hear my side of the story. He knows its part of the process. I tell Him my view; I feel heard; I feel His love and understanding; Then He tells how He sees the picture. I become willing to be instructed about my part, my wrong; I feel genuinely sorry and willing to seek direction and courage to actually make amends.
I know that true repentance has to be about my sorrow for sin. Justification has no part in making Step 9 amends. But when my heart is full of hurt and my eyes are full of hot tears of anger and regret I am so grateful for a Heavenly Dad who will nod His head in the affirmative when I say, “Ya, but do you wanna know what?!?!?
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, November 13, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
This summer I had the unforgettable experience of being the “honored guest” several times with multiple families. Of course, one of the most rewarding aspects of being with children, for me, is learning from what they say. Driving mile after mile through the desert with them might seem like being relegated to the traveling Primary Nursery, but for this grandma it’s like being invited into a greenhouse full of tender new thoughts.
Such seating arrangements on long trips provide opportunities for repentance and forgiveness. Most of us have grown up knowing that one of the four R’s of repentance is “Restitution.” When we repent using the 12 Steps, making restitution does not come until Step 9. If you are new to the steps you may wonder why 12 Steps are suggested when perhaps four steps were adequate in the past. Sometime the 12 Steps are referred to as “baby steps of repentance. One of the most helpful aspects of the 12 Steps in bringing about repentance and change is that each step which requires action, is preceded by a step that asks us to allow God to first prepare our hearts.
Yesterday in an Addiction Recovery Program meeting we were sharing about Step 8, which is to “Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.” Mind you, this is a step that takes place in the heart and precedes any and all making of amends. In many cases, before we can possibly make restitution for the harm we have done others we have to become willing to forgive others for the harm they have done to us. The Key Principle for Step 8 is forgiveness.
As we went around the circle in the meeting, sharing both the blessings and challenges of taking Step 8, I had a thought generated by a moment experienced while sitting in my Grandma seat in the “Family Greenhouse (Van).” There I sat, minding my own business of course, when suddenly there was a scream from the back seat. There was a little skirmish amongst two of the back seat sardines. As near as I could tell, “someone” hurt Carson and Carson hurt that “someone” back. It was loud enough to reach the front seat without the aid of Grandma. Dad called back, “Carson, did you hurt your brother?”
Carson’s response was, “Ya, but you wanna know what?”
Carson had a story to tell. Relaying the story did not justify his actions or excuse him from the important task of saying he was sorry or trying to make up for hurting his brother. But, before he could be truly feel regret for his part, it was important to Carson to share his view of the situation with his dad.
Before I can honestly make amends for hurts I have caused and the wrongs I have done I have to sincerely forgive those who have hurt me. The heart of forgiveness is a gift I can seek in conversation with God. Sometimes, after I have been convicted of some offence, the first words out of my heart, directed toward my Father are “Ya, but you wanna know what?”
And He does! He wants to hear my side of the story. He knows its part of the process. I tell Him my view; I feel heard; I feel His love and understanding; Then He tells how He sees the picture. I become willing to be instructed about my part, my wrong; I feel genuinely sorry and willing to seek direction and courage to actually make amends.
I know that true repentance has to be about my sorrow for sin. Justification has no part in making Step 9 amends. But when my heart is full of hurt and my eyes are full of hot tears of anger and regret I am so grateful for a Heavenly Dad who will nod His head in the affirmative when I say, “Ya, but do you wanna know what?!?!?
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, November 13, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
“You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me!” – Carrying the Message To Our Children – Step 12
My high school grade point average was attacked my tenth grade year by a disastrous experience with Geometry. I spent the summer retaking it, hoping to make up for some of the damage done. The retake helped, but not a lot. Mostly it allowed me to move on. I home schooled my five children through the eighth grade and helped and encouraged them through graduation. Twelve years of math multiplied by five kids was a lot of numbers for this mom. My personal struggle with the subject gave me compassion and patience. Gratefully math education doesn’t start with Geometry! Year after year I encouraged them, repeating over and over the words my dad had repeated over and over to me. “Math is fun. It’s a game!” “Read the instruction; do as many problems as you can; then come work with me until everything is correct and corrected.” That was the process. Chapter after chapter we worked through each years work, one day at a time. Then from ninth through twelfth grade and beyond my children received math instruction from public school mathematicians. I took off my instructor hat and simply encouraged them.
Not wanting them to use me for any kind of excuse to fail, I kept my dismal experience with Geometry to myself. I must admit that when they were each studying the subject, I did a lot more encouraging and praying than assisting. In the spring of her ninth grade year one of my daughters announced that in connection with graduation she and her parents were supposed to attend the school honor night. It was one of those nights that go on and on. We sat and listened and applauded while what seemed like hundreds of awards were given for this and that. It was hot in the auditorium. I was so sleepy, and there seemed to be no end in site.
Then the moment came that made this one of the most remarkable nights of my life. Really! I was jolted nearly out of my seat as I heard my daughter’s name being read as none other than, “The Outstanding Geometry Student of the Year.” Under any other circumstance my response would have been and has been, “That’s my girl!” But Geometry? Outstanding? Student of the Year? Honestly, my great impulse was to stand up and say, “You’ve got to be kidding me! This can’t possible by my child!” But this was not about me. This was about my daughter who turned out to be a mathematical improvement on her mother.
So often I hear the worry in the voices of those of us who are parents and have struggled with mortality. We have experienced everything from “bad habits” to “debilitating and deadly addictions.” We have suffered sometimes quietly alone and sometimes very public humiliation. Our great wish is to somehow avoid passing our bad experiences and the poor way we dealt with life in the past on to our kids. That’s my hope and I am hopeful. I don’t want to live in fear that my imperfections will reach out and somehow grab and bind my children.
I choose to believe that my best invitation for my children to be an improvement on their mother is to have a daily relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, to apply Gospel principles and to continually grow through the Atonement. If I recover in the open, in front of them, there will be other moments, more important than ninth grade honor night, when I will look at them in wonder and in gratitude and think, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 11 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Not wanting them to use me for any kind of excuse to fail, I kept my dismal experience with Geometry to myself. I must admit that when they were each studying the subject, I did a lot more encouraging and praying than assisting. In the spring of her ninth grade year one of my daughters announced that in connection with graduation she and her parents were supposed to attend the school honor night. It was one of those nights that go on and on. We sat and listened and applauded while what seemed like hundreds of awards were given for this and that. It was hot in the auditorium. I was so sleepy, and there seemed to be no end in site.
Then the moment came that made this one of the most remarkable nights of my life. Really! I was jolted nearly out of my seat as I heard my daughter’s name being read as none other than, “The Outstanding Geometry Student of the Year.” Under any other circumstance my response would have been and has been, “That’s my girl!” But Geometry? Outstanding? Student of the Year? Honestly, my great impulse was to stand up and say, “You’ve got to be kidding me! This can’t possible by my child!” But this was not about me. This was about my daughter who turned out to be a mathematical improvement on her mother.
So often I hear the worry in the voices of those of us who are parents and have struggled with mortality. We have experienced everything from “bad habits” to “debilitating and deadly addictions.” We have suffered sometimes quietly alone and sometimes very public humiliation. Our great wish is to somehow avoid passing our bad experiences and the poor way we dealt with life in the past on to our kids. That’s my hope and I am hopeful. I don’t want to live in fear that my imperfections will reach out and somehow grab and bind my children.
I choose to believe that my best invitation for my children to be an improvement on their mother is to have a daily relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, to apply Gospel principles and to continually grow through the Atonement. If I recover in the open, in front of them, there will be other moments, more important than ninth grade honor night, when I will look at them in wonder and in gratitude and think, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 11 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
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