My first experience at a 12 Step Support Group was twenty years ago, many years before the development of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Addiction Recovery Program. I began my experience in recovery at a Sunday night meeting of Overeaters Anonymous. The parts of the meeting that felt most unfamiliar to me were the opening and closing prayers. Being a life long member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was most accustomed to praying and participating in prayers that were not set, memorized, and repeated word for word. However, I did not let the unfamiliarity keep me from participating. I was in great need of the spiritual principles that were being discussed and of very specific support in letting go my compulsive addictive behavior in relationship to food.
The meetings were the seeds of these 12 spiritual principles were first planted in my heart always closed with the group of participants repeating “The Lord’s Prayer”, a prayer I had memorized in my youth from scripture. The opening prayer was always what is referred to as the “Serenity Prayer.” It’s a prayer adapted from the writings of Reinhold Niebuhr. The words we opened every meeting with were these:
“God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
I came to love these words. They certainly expressed the great need in my own life. You can imagine my delight when one day as I was studying the Doctrine and Covenants I came upon these words:
“Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed” (Doctrine and Covenants 123:17).
Here was the Lord’s powerful instruction, describing the path that leads to serenity, expressed through the Prophet Joseph Smith. All we are asked is to “cheerfully do all things that lie in our power.” In everything else, all things that lie outside our power, we are instructed to leave it to the Lord. We are invited to be at peace, to be still and watch for His hand.
In the past I would have read these words and felt they must apply to only the great and grand needs of life. My witness is that today, everyday I have the opportunity to “stand still, with assurance, and see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, October 30, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
“Ya Mean I Can Ask?!?!?!” – Step 7
Late one Sunday afternoon, in the middle of the family dinner, my daughter, who is only generally familiar with the principles of recovery, sat in my office feeding her new baby. She was tired. It had been a challenging day. Her mind was racing with thoughts of the frustrating Sunday morning she’d had with her four-year-old. With the need for greater patience weighing on her mind, she looked up at the 12 steps I have posted on my office. Her eyes rested on Step 7 and she read, “Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.”
“Ya mean I can ask?” she said out loud.
She came out of the room and related her experience to me. We talked about what good news it is to know that there is no struggle in our lives that doesn’t merit the Lord’s attention and power. We can ask for help with our shortcomings. If we are willing, in time, our transformation will be made possible through our Savior. What a blessed thing to come to know!
I often remember this little incident when I’m off track, trying hard on my own.
“Ya mean I can ask?” “So what am I waiting for?”
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“Ya mean I can ask?” she said out loud.
She came out of the room and related her experience to me. We talked about what good news it is to know that there is no struggle in our lives that doesn’t merit the Lord’s attention and power. We can ask for help with our shortcomings. If we are willing, in time, our transformation will be made possible through our Savior. What a blessed thing to come to know!
I often remember this little incident when I’m off track, trying hard on my own.
“Ya mean I can ask?” “So what am I waiting for?”
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
“She Did It!” – The Tiny Foundations of the Way We Feel About Ourselves – Step 4
My sister and I are three years apart in age. My only vivid memory of Jane as a baby has to do with something I did that was naughty. Here’s what I remember, this is the scene of the crime. Little one-year-old “Janie Bird” as they called her, is standing in her crib. She has just woken up for the morning or from a nap. I don’t remember which. Next to her is a plant on a table or a stand of some kind. Enter, big sister Nannette (me). Then, for some four-year-old reason, which I cannot explain today, I walk over to the plant and proceed to pull off all of the leaves. The leaves are scattered all over the floor when my mother enters the room. Looking at the plant and the floor and the two of us she says something motherly like, “Oh dear, who did this to my plant?” Great embarrassment and fear of being in trouble griped me and I say, pointing to my sister who is innocently standing in her crib looking on, “She did it!” The scene in my mind ends with my mother giving my sister an appropriate pat on the hand and saying, “No, No!”
That’s it! That’s the beginning and the end of one of the first things I placed in my 4th Step Inventory. After praying one night before bed that the Lord would help me have a memory of my fourth year on earth, I got out my little steno pad. On the left side of a clean page I wrote “age four.” The page was divided lengthwise into two columns, by a line. At the top of the first column I wrote the word “Regrets.” At the top of the second column I wrote the word “Resentments.” The first entry under regrets reads, “Pulled all the leaves off mom’s plant. Lied and told mom Jane did it.” Finally the entry ends with the most important part. As a thirty seven year old woman looking back, I thought through and recorded the “exact nature of my wrong,” which as you will see is different from the thing I did. “I lied because I was scared of getting in trouble and I did not want to disappoint my mother.”
Step 4 is to, “Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.” It is the step of recording the truth, as we understand it. The 4th Step is the step many people put off indefinitely because of the fear of being honest, the enormity of the job, and resistance to thinking about unpleasant aspects of the past. When I first read through the steps I thought: “I’ll do Steps 1-3 and 10-12 but I’m not doing the stuff in the middle.”
Obviously, a 4th Step Inventory contains very serious memories of our past, times when we committed sin and times when sin was committee against us. So why do I bring up some silly, insignificant incident about the leaves on a plant and the little lie of a four-year-old girl?
Those who have taken these steps and experienced lasting recovery have learned that it is critical not to leave anything out. They refer to it as being “rigorously honest.” Apparently we are each related to that lovely young woman, of fairy tale fame, who underwent a test to see if she was indeed a princess. As you remember, she was required to sleep on a very tall bed made up of mattress upon mattress piled high. Underneath the bottom mattress was a pea. The story goes that no matter how many mattresses were placed on top of that pea she could not sleep, she could find not rest. Her inability to tolerate something even so small as a pea was the very proof that she was a princess.
The big things are critical, but the little things are also important. They matter. I had never apologized to my sister or my mother for this wrong. I had never even thought about bringing it up. But, as you can see, being the princess that I am, I had never forgotten it either.
Finally, this seemingly small beginning to my inventory is very important to my recovery today. Its peas size (or leaf size) is not important. It is important because remembering it and thinking about it allowed the Lord make me aware of two things about myself, things that are critical for me to understand in order to change and to live in recovery. First, in this incident I see the earliest signs of my very big fear of being in trouble. Second, I see a little girl who does not want to be a disappointment to anyone. As I read through my inventory I find that this is definitely not the only time these two reasons for doing wrong appear. On the contrary, they appear over and over again.
Our character weaknesses weave in and out of our story. As we fearlessly inventory the details of our lives, big and small, from the beginning to the present, we finally become aware of what we refer to as the “exact nature of our wrongs.” It’s hard to be honest about the big things and hard to believe the little things make a difference, but they do.
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
That’s it! That’s the beginning and the end of one of the first things I placed in my 4th Step Inventory. After praying one night before bed that the Lord would help me have a memory of my fourth year on earth, I got out my little steno pad. On the left side of a clean page I wrote “age four.” The page was divided lengthwise into two columns, by a line. At the top of the first column I wrote the word “Regrets.” At the top of the second column I wrote the word “Resentments.” The first entry under regrets reads, “Pulled all the leaves off mom’s plant. Lied and told mom Jane did it.” Finally the entry ends with the most important part. As a thirty seven year old woman looking back, I thought through and recorded the “exact nature of my wrong,” which as you will see is different from the thing I did. “I lied because I was scared of getting in trouble and I did not want to disappoint my mother.”
Step 4 is to, “Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.” It is the step of recording the truth, as we understand it. The 4th Step is the step many people put off indefinitely because of the fear of being honest, the enormity of the job, and resistance to thinking about unpleasant aspects of the past. When I first read through the steps I thought: “I’ll do Steps 1-3 and 10-12 but I’m not doing the stuff in the middle.”
Obviously, a 4th Step Inventory contains very serious memories of our past, times when we committed sin and times when sin was committee against us. So why do I bring up some silly, insignificant incident about the leaves on a plant and the little lie of a four-year-old girl?
Those who have taken these steps and experienced lasting recovery have learned that it is critical not to leave anything out. They refer to it as being “rigorously honest.” Apparently we are each related to that lovely young woman, of fairy tale fame, who underwent a test to see if she was indeed a princess. As you remember, she was required to sleep on a very tall bed made up of mattress upon mattress piled high. Underneath the bottom mattress was a pea. The story goes that no matter how many mattresses were placed on top of that pea she could not sleep, she could find not rest. Her inability to tolerate something even so small as a pea was the very proof that she was a princess.
The big things are critical, but the little things are also important. They matter. I had never apologized to my sister or my mother for this wrong. I had never even thought about bringing it up. But, as you can see, being the princess that I am, I had never forgotten it either.
Finally, this seemingly small beginning to my inventory is very important to my recovery today. Its peas size (or leaf size) is not important. It is important because remembering it and thinking about it allowed the Lord make me aware of two things about myself, things that are critical for me to understand in order to change and to live in recovery. First, in this incident I see the earliest signs of my very big fear of being in trouble. Second, I see a little girl who does not want to be a disappointment to anyone. As I read through my inventory I find that this is definitely not the only time these two reasons for doing wrong appear. On the contrary, they appear over and over again.
Our character weaknesses weave in and out of our story. As we fearlessly inventory the details of our lives, big and small, from the beginning to the present, we finally become aware of what we refer to as the “exact nature of our wrongs.” It’s hard to be honest about the big things and hard to believe the little things make a difference, but they do.
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Listening at the Kitchen Sink – The Power of Joyful Persistence - Step 12 Carrying the Message Step 12
One late afternoon after a busy day of mothering, I stood in the kitchen in a bit of a stupor. I was weary and completely blank about what to invent for dinner. Above my kitchen sink is a large window size opening into the family room. I stood pondering how a person (such as myself) could work so hard all day long and not have a plan for dinner. As I mulled over the possibilities I overheard a conversation going on, just through the window, between my four-year-old Kendra and a neighborhood friend. This little bit of writing expresses what I heard and how I felt:
Listening at the Kitchen Sink
“I’ll be the Mom!”
“No, I’ll be the Mom!
“It’s my house!”
“I’m leaving!”
“You can be the mom next time!”
“You always get to be the Mom!”
Listening at the kitchen sink
Exhausted
Emptying the dishwasher, the darks to fold,
Five o’clock frozen hamburger,
And on and on-
I smile and hum and pray
That they will not lose their passion
For “Being the Mom”
On my account.
It’s been twenty-two years since this scene was captured in my notebook. Kendra’s all grown up now, with three little children of her own. I know there were other days when my joy in motherhood was not exactly exemplary. I’m sure my daughters did not always look on thinking, “Look how happy mom is. Boy, this is sure what I want to do when I grow up.” But Kendra, along with each of my daughters, seems to have quite an affinity for being “the mom” in spite of my imperfection. This gives me a lot of hope. It means that trying counted. It means that I didn’t have to be perfect. It means that children are capable of seeing a bigger picture, the balance between trying and trials and happiness. It means that a parent’s diligence in making little daily repentant course corrections ultimately sends out the message that yes, parenting is hard, but it is also very rewarding and a source of great joy.
I think the word “joy” and not “perfection” is the key word when it comes to passing along passion for various aspects of life to the next generation. Along with her love of motherhood and the whole “at home” life style my own mother imperfectly passed on to me her love of the gospel, the Church, attending the temple, learning something new, finding a sale, a good visit, road trips and singing harmony to old girl scout songs, teaching, classical voice, geology, a clean house, of serving. These were not areas where she was perfect, but they were aspects of her life where we as children saw genuine joy as she participated.
My mother did not pass to me a love for sewing. She did a lot of sewing. She sewed and sewed for my sister and me. She was good at sewing. But she didn’t like to sew. She was not a happy humming seamstress. Funny that word ends with the word “stress,” because that’s what I remember about my mother sitting at the sewing machine – stress! Sewing was no source of joy for her and I knew it!
There are fruits of my mother’s joyless diligence in my own life. Although she taught me to sew, I own the most underused Bernina in the history of sewing machines. In fact, mom and I have decided that if God wants to punish the two of us for bad behavior in this life, He will probably consign us to sewing angel apparel in the next.
Many of us are very busy with good activities. We are dutiful, hard workers, but for one reason or another we don’t love it. It does not bring us joy. Then, at the end of the day, we wish our children would follow our “dutiful, hard working” path. What we find though is that sometimes the things we do and don’t enjoy, our children decide not to do at all. We pass on what we love. We pass on what gives us joy.
So what’s the message here? When it comes to sewing, gourmet food prep, jogging, hunting, golfing, scrap booking, or the million other aspects and hobbies life offers, it probably doesn’t matter at all exactly what we find joy in and pass on to the kids. For me there is only one facet of life where it is absolutely critical to live in joy and pass it on. What I hope to pass on is my passion for the Father’s plan, and the joy that comes from being a disciple of Jesus Christ and helping to build His kingdom. Is the restored gospel of Jesus Christ the source of joy in my life?
The Prophet Enos has the great blessing of being able to think back and remember “the words which [he] had often heard [his] father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints” (Enos 1:3). The joy of the Saints! Is that what my children are going to remember when they remember me? I hope so! During their childhood I experienced days and hours and moments of “stressed out” service to them and to the Church, service that was not always filled with joy in or because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I was nearly forty before I began to have eyes for the every day, very personal blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I was nearly forty before I felt the unmistakable love of the Lord for me. I learn more every day, but I’m imperfect at the application of the truth. My joy in the gospel is a work in progress. The 12 Steps have been a tremendous help. Every day I am learning how to apply the gospel in ways that bring me greater and greater joy. .
In 1979, President Spencer W. Kimball addressed the women of the Church in the worldwide Women's Fireside Address. He prophesied that, “the good women of the world will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different — in happy ways — from the women of the world.”
Influence for good because we live the gospel in “happy ways!” Joy, will make the difference! It’s a tall order. It’s something I want to pass on to my daughters and granddaughters. My experience as a mother and with my own mother gives me great hope. What counts is not perfection but joyful persistence in partaking of the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. One mother at a time, and over time, we will become this army of women who are “distinct and different — in happy ways — from the women of the world.” It won't be because we live the gospel perfectly. It will be because we live it happily!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 27, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Listening at the Kitchen Sink
“I’ll be the Mom!”
“No, I’ll be the Mom!
“It’s my house!”
“I’m leaving!”
“You can be the mom next time!”
“You always get to be the Mom!”
Listening at the kitchen sink
Exhausted
Emptying the dishwasher, the darks to fold,
Five o’clock frozen hamburger,
And on and on-
I smile and hum and pray
That they will not lose their passion
For “Being the Mom”
On my account.
It’s been twenty-two years since this scene was captured in my notebook. Kendra’s all grown up now, with three little children of her own. I know there were other days when my joy in motherhood was not exactly exemplary. I’m sure my daughters did not always look on thinking, “Look how happy mom is. Boy, this is sure what I want to do when I grow up.” But Kendra, along with each of my daughters, seems to have quite an affinity for being “the mom” in spite of my imperfection. This gives me a lot of hope. It means that trying counted. It means that I didn’t have to be perfect. It means that children are capable of seeing a bigger picture, the balance between trying and trials and happiness. It means that a parent’s diligence in making little daily repentant course corrections ultimately sends out the message that yes, parenting is hard, but it is also very rewarding and a source of great joy.
I think the word “joy” and not “perfection” is the key word when it comes to passing along passion for various aspects of life to the next generation. Along with her love of motherhood and the whole “at home” life style my own mother imperfectly passed on to me her love of the gospel, the Church, attending the temple, learning something new, finding a sale, a good visit, road trips and singing harmony to old girl scout songs, teaching, classical voice, geology, a clean house, of serving. These were not areas where she was perfect, but they were aspects of her life where we as children saw genuine joy as she participated.
My mother did not pass to me a love for sewing. She did a lot of sewing. She sewed and sewed for my sister and me. She was good at sewing. But she didn’t like to sew. She was not a happy humming seamstress. Funny that word ends with the word “stress,” because that’s what I remember about my mother sitting at the sewing machine – stress! Sewing was no source of joy for her and I knew it!
There are fruits of my mother’s joyless diligence in my own life. Although she taught me to sew, I own the most underused Bernina in the history of sewing machines. In fact, mom and I have decided that if God wants to punish the two of us for bad behavior in this life, He will probably consign us to sewing angel apparel in the next.
Many of us are very busy with good activities. We are dutiful, hard workers, but for one reason or another we don’t love it. It does not bring us joy. Then, at the end of the day, we wish our children would follow our “dutiful, hard working” path. What we find though is that sometimes the things we do and don’t enjoy, our children decide not to do at all. We pass on what we love. We pass on what gives us joy.
So what’s the message here? When it comes to sewing, gourmet food prep, jogging, hunting, golfing, scrap booking, or the million other aspects and hobbies life offers, it probably doesn’t matter at all exactly what we find joy in and pass on to the kids. For me there is only one facet of life where it is absolutely critical to live in joy and pass it on. What I hope to pass on is my passion for the Father’s plan, and the joy that comes from being a disciple of Jesus Christ and helping to build His kingdom. Is the restored gospel of Jesus Christ the source of joy in my life?
The Prophet Enos has the great blessing of being able to think back and remember “the words which [he] had often heard [his] father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints” (Enos 1:3). The joy of the Saints! Is that what my children are going to remember when they remember me? I hope so! During their childhood I experienced days and hours and moments of “stressed out” service to them and to the Church, service that was not always filled with joy in or because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I was nearly forty before I began to have eyes for the every day, very personal blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I was nearly forty before I felt the unmistakable love of the Lord for me. I learn more every day, but I’m imperfect at the application of the truth. My joy in the gospel is a work in progress. The 12 Steps have been a tremendous help. Every day I am learning how to apply the gospel in ways that bring me greater and greater joy. .
In 1979, President Spencer W. Kimball addressed the women of the Church in the worldwide Women's Fireside Address. He prophesied that, “the good women of the world will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different — in happy ways — from the women of the world.”
Influence for good because we live the gospel in “happy ways!” Joy, will make the difference! It’s a tall order. It’s something I want to pass on to my daughters and granddaughters. My experience as a mother and with my own mother gives me great hope. What counts is not perfection but joyful persistence in partaking of the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. One mother at a time, and over time, we will become this army of women who are “distinct and different — in happy ways — from the women of the world.” It won't be because we live the gospel perfectly. It will be because we live it happily!
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 27, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, October 24, 2008
We Share Our Experience, Strength, and Hope – Practice in Telling the Truth
Have I told you I love the scriptures? I get so excited when I read about a principle in the word of God and then hear or see the same principle somewhere in my everyday life. I’m equally trilled when I experience something that feels so right, so true, so of God in daily life and then discover the same principle in the scriptures, expressed in Lord’s words.
During the sharing portion of a recovery meeting we are encouraged to share our “experience, strength, and hope.” I have heard this phrase hundreds of times now. One day as I was studying the scriptures I came across the following verse:
“And truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come;” (D & C 93:24).
This is the perfect description of what we share in meetings. We share “things as they were” or “our experience.” We share “things as they are” today or “our strength”- the strength we have received to make personal changes as a result of the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Finally we share things “as they are to come” or “our hope”, the things we are working on and our hope for the future based on the miracles in our present life. The Lord defines “things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come” as the “truth.”
One of the hallmarks of addictive behavior is difficulty in knowing and telling the truth. As we share our experience strength and hope with each other we are developing the capacity to know the truth, to tell the truth, and to live the truth. The result is the fulfillment of the Lord’s great promise, “and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, October 24, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
During the sharing portion of a recovery meeting we are encouraged to share our “experience, strength, and hope.” I have heard this phrase hundreds of times now. One day as I was studying the scriptures I came across the following verse:
“And truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come;” (D & C 93:24).
This is the perfect description of what we share in meetings. We share “things as they were” or “our experience.” We share “things as they are” today or “our strength”- the strength we have received to make personal changes as a result of the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Finally we share things “as they are to come” or “our hope”, the things we are working on and our hope for the future based on the miracles in our present life. The Lord defines “things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come” as the “truth.”
One of the hallmarks of addictive behavior is difficulty in knowing and telling the truth. As we share our experience strength and hope with each other we are developing the capacity to know the truth, to tell the truth, and to live the truth. The result is the fulfillment of the Lord’s great promise, “and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, October 24, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Who’s Teaching Who? - You Don't Have to be Tall to Carry the Message
In resent years the Prophet has encouraged parents to teach their children about testimonies and then give them experience sharing their budding witness at home with their family. The hope is that ultimately children will be better prepared to stand in church and testify without the aid of parents or an older sibling.
Standing as a witness of God comes very naturally to Madeline. Now age five, she has taken the solo trip down the isle, to the pulpit many times. She was only three years old the first time she made it clear to her parents that she had some thoughts she wanted to share with the congregation. There was no need for her daddy to accompany her, push the blond curls away from her little ear and whisper ideas to prompt her sharing. She stood alone (did I mention she was three): “I’d like to bear my testimony. I love my Jesus. I love my mom and dad. Jesus loves me. The Holy Spirit loves me and I love Him.” And finally, prompted by a resent family lesson, “It’s important for us to know about our bodies and take care of them.” The only coxing from dad was “Maddie, it’s time to say Amen.”
Afterwards, there were comments from ward members about her age and her sincerity. There were lots of questions about what Kendra and Nate had done at home to somehow prepare this child, and requests to send kids over for a few lessons in testimony bearing. The greatest wonder of the event was that Maddie’s parents had not really gone to great lengths. They were almost as surprised as the rest of the audience.
Madeline is not the only child exhibiting an unusual ability and willingness to stand and express her spiritual heart. I am amazed almost every month by the testimony of children. I wonder if these little “generals,” who have come straight from Heavenly ranks, were listening the day the memo was read challenging parents to raise the bar on tutoring their children to the point of independence. It’s almost like these little “last days” children understood the Lord’s intent and raised the bar on themselves.
Step 12 reads, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others…” Sharing what the Lord has done for me is a very important part of maintaining what I have obtained. The willingness to share the miracle the Lord has performed in my own life is, in part, the natural result of applying Steps 1-11 and recognizing the hand of the Lord in my own progress. But Step 12 is not easy for me. It’s work. I have had to acknowledge that the desire, direction and courage to “carry the message” is a gift I have to seek. Step 12 is a step that must be taken. Just as I had to receive the Lord’s help in taking the previous 11 steps, I cannot take this step alone.
"I get the message Madeline! Next time I’m in a situation where there’s an opportunity to share my witness and my heart is pounding and I know there’s something I need to say I pray I can be like you; not concerned at all that you might be too short, too young, too inexperienced, or not grown up or eloquent enough."
It doesn’t matter if you are Madeline or Nephi or Nannette, the most important thing to share is what Maddie was willing and able to share at age three, “I love my Jesus!” The great paradox is that I don’t need to be afraid, because Jesus will even help me say it!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, October 23, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Standing as a witness of God comes very naturally to Madeline. Now age five, she has taken the solo trip down the isle, to the pulpit many times. She was only three years old the first time she made it clear to her parents that she had some thoughts she wanted to share with the congregation. There was no need for her daddy to accompany her, push the blond curls away from her little ear and whisper ideas to prompt her sharing. She stood alone (did I mention she was three): “I’d like to bear my testimony. I love my Jesus. I love my mom and dad. Jesus loves me. The Holy Spirit loves me and I love Him.” And finally, prompted by a resent family lesson, “It’s important for us to know about our bodies and take care of them.” The only coxing from dad was “Maddie, it’s time to say Amen.”
Afterwards, there were comments from ward members about her age and her sincerity. There were lots of questions about what Kendra and Nate had done at home to somehow prepare this child, and requests to send kids over for a few lessons in testimony bearing. The greatest wonder of the event was that Maddie’s parents had not really gone to great lengths. They were almost as surprised as the rest of the audience.
Madeline is not the only child exhibiting an unusual ability and willingness to stand and express her spiritual heart. I am amazed almost every month by the testimony of children. I wonder if these little “generals,” who have come straight from Heavenly ranks, were listening the day the memo was read challenging parents to raise the bar on tutoring their children to the point of independence. It’s almost like these little “last days” children understood the Lord’s intent and raised the bar on themselves.
Step 12 reads, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others…” Sharing what the Lord has done for me is a very important part of maintaining what I have obtained. The willingness to share the miracle the Lord has performed in my own life is, in part, the natural result of applying Steps 1-11 and recognizing the hand of the Lord in my own progress. But Step 12 is not easy for me. It’s work. I have had to acknowledge that the desire, direction and courage to “carry the message” is a gift I have to seek. Step 12 is a step that must be taken. Just as I had to receive the Lord’s help in taking the previous 11 steps, I cannot take this step alone.
"I get the message Madeline! Next time I’m in a situation where there’s an opportunity to share my witness and my heart is pounding and I know there’s something I need to say I pray I can be like you; not concerned at all that you might be too short, too young, too inexperienced, or not grown up or eloquent enough."
It doesn’t matter if you are Madeline or Nephi or Nannette, the most important thing to share is what Maddie was willing and able to share at age three, “I love my Jesus!” The great paradox is that I don’t need to be afraid, because Jesus will even help me say it!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, October 23, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
“Heavenly Father, Please Bless Us To Get Done!”
Our family room closet is the home of the toys that have been left behind by five children who have moved on in life and now have children of their own. The toys in this closet would not impress most of today’s kids. There is nothing electronic. A few toys in the closet included batteries the Christmas they came to live at our house. We weren’t very good about replacing them, especially if the toy was particularly annoying, so these potentially moving speaking playthings have been still and quiet for many years now. It’s easy to tell which decade in which these five children were raised. The Star Wars box only contains memories of the very first adventure ever told. The doll box has and a Strawberry Short Cake and a Blueberry Pie Man. There are baskets full of puzzles, many with a missing piece or two, that kept five children quiet and busy many a Conference Sunday in front of the TV. But, these old things seem to represent some kind of treasure to the “grands.” They must think the very idea that Grandma and Grandpa owned any toys is quite remarkable.
One of the premium toys in the closet is an old wooden box full of Legos. The box was actually built by a neighbor to store the collection of Legos from my childhood with five brothers. Now the box is clear full of Legos collected over 30 years of raising my own kids. There’s nothing special or thematic or up to date about this collection, but when the grandkids arrive, the Lego box is nearly always the first thing to come out. Before the children leave Grandma’s house the deal is that all the toys have to be put away. The big exception to the rule seems to be the ship seven-year-old Ethan has constructed out of Legos last year. After everything else is put away Ethan’s ship still sits on the counter. After he goes home I tuck it behind something so things look all tidied up.
Yesterday morning Ethan was spending time at our house. “I think I’ll work on my ship Grandma.”
“Ethan, I wondered the other day if your ship was done.”
“Oh no, Grandma! I don’t think it will ever be done,” he explained. “You can always change where a Lego goes to make the ship look better!”
Never be done! Now that’s a very gown up concept. It’s one I am still working on myself. It is a great challenge to see myself, and all the aspects of my life, as a work in progress. I have always put great stock in things being finished, over, caught up, complete, done! I tried to pass this bit of compulsion on to my kids too. I’m not too proud of that. When they were little, a prayer they often prayed was, “Heavenly Father, please bless us to get done today.” I have made some progress over the years. I think the first thing I accepted was that I was never going to finish the laundry or the dusting.
Many of us come to the 12 Steps of recovery hoping that we can work to a point of graduation, hoping that we can somehow be finished someday. If you ask anyone with years of experience, years of application, and years of sobriety if they are done, their response will be much like Ethan’s. “Oh no, Grandma! I don’t think it will ever be done. You can always change where a Lego goes to make the ship look better!” In the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book it speaks of progress being the goal, not perfection. Those living in recovery have accepted the truth that improvement can always be made. No one comes to the end. There is no finish line when it comes to applying these 12 gospel principles to our lives.
In my family room there is also a little cupboard with glass doors where we but “special stuff” like really old books that might be worth something or knickknacks collected on vacations. When Ethan left yesterday I put his ship on a shelf in the glass cupboard. I want to remember the message I got from Ethan about the importance of accepting the incomplete nature of things. I also want to remember the smile on his face and the excitement in his voice. He finds real joy in the fact that a little improvement can always be made. I like that. I want to feel like that too!
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
One of the premium toys in the closet is an old wooden box full of Legos. The box was actually built by a neighbor to store the collection of Legos from my childhood with five brothers. Now the box is clear full of Legos collected over 30 years of raising my own kids. There’s nothing special or thematic or up to date about this collection, but when the grandkids arrive, the Lego box is nearly always the first thing to come out. Before the children leave Grandma’s house the deal is that all the toys have to be put away. The big exception to the rule seems to be the ship seven-year-old Ethan has constructed out of Legos last year. After everything else is put away Ethan’s ship still sits on the counter. After he goes home I tuck it behind something so things look all tidied up.
Yesterday morning Ethan was spending time at our house. “I think I’ll work on my ship Grandma.”
“Ethan, I wondered the other day if your ship was done.”
“Oh no, Grandma! I don’t think it will ever be done,” he explained. “You can always change where a Lego goes to make the ship look better!”
Never be done! Now that’s a very gown up concept. It’s one I am still working on myself. It is a great challenge to see myself, and all the aspects of my life, as a work in progress. I have always put great stock in things being finished, over, caught up, complete, done! I tried to pass this bit of compulsion on to my kids too. I’m not too proud of that. When they were little, a prayer they often prayed was, “Heavenly Father, please bless us to get done today.” I have made some progress over the years. I think the first thing I accepted was that I was never going to finish the laundry or the dusting.
Many of us come to the 12 Steps of recovery hoping that we can work to a point of graduation, hoping that we can somehow be finished someday. If you ask anyone with years of experience, years of application, and years of sobriety if they are done, their response will be much like Ethan’s. “Oh no, Grandma! I don’t think it will ever be done. You can always change where a Lego goes to make the ship look better!” In the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book it speaks of progress being the goal, not perfection. Those living in recovery have accepted the truth that improvement can always be made. No one comes to the end. There is no finish line when it comes to applying these 12 gospel principles to our lives.
In my family room there is also a little cupboard with glass doors where we but “special stuff” like really old books that might be worth something or knickknacks collected on vacations. When Ethan left yesterday I put his ship on a shelf in the glass cupboard. I want to remember the message I got from Ethan about the importance of accepting the incomplete nature of things. I also want to remember the smile on his face and the excitement in his voice. He finds real joy in the fact that a little improvement can always be made. I like that. I want to feel like that too!
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
“Shhh! Don’t Tell!” – Step 2
If I had to sum up in one word the name of the miracle that people everywhere are experiencing because they’re applying the 12 Steps to their lives, the word would be “grace.” It is the fundamental doctrine that underlies the entire process of recovery. Grace is the enabling power available to all of us because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As we come unto Christ we are able, through His grace, to maintain a good work we would not be able to maintain on our own (See Bible Dictionary). One day in the middle of my home school years and soon after starting to apply the 12 Steps to my own life I was wondering why as parents and leaders, we sometimes fail to teach our children the concept of “grace.”
This scenario came to my mind. The parents of a fifteen your old son give him the assignment to weed the entire farm or else! They know the assignment is impossible, and plan to go out after lunch with all the hired labor and spend the rest of the day helping to complete the job. Purposely, they keep their plan to help secret from their son. Suspicious and afraid that if he knows, he’ll take advantage of them and lazily do less that his best work, while waiting for them to show up and help, they keep their plan to themselves. They decide to tell him about their willingness to help later, after they’re sure that he has worked up to capacity, and after he’s done all that he can do. The important objective is that they get the most out of him. No one is going to pull the wool over their eyes. They choose to encourage good works through stressing fear and duty rather than inspiring the assigned child with hope of completing the work because of the love of generous understanding parents.
The message of the story was, “Nannette, sometimes parents and leaders fail to teach or emphasize grace because they think they need to manipulate the diligence of kids. They are anywhere on a scale of suspicious to terrified that if they teach children and youth about the loving willingness of the Lord to help, the these young Saints will not obey the scriptural mandate to do all he or she can do.
I don’t want to admit it, but I can relate to this situation. As a mother of five and having home schooled for over two decades I have given plenty of assignments to children. Brush your teeth, pull your weeds, practice the piano, work on your merit badges, vacuum, do your math, English, creative writing, science, penmanship, history, reading, spelling, say your prayers, clean the bird cage, clean the bathroom, write in your journal, fold the laundry, and you name it, I’ve assigned it.
Many of the assignments I made were too difficult for the children to do well without help from me. In our family school the rule was, “Go try! See what you can do on your own. Read the instructions. Do the best you can and then come to me and I’ll help you where you need assistance. When you’re finished with an assignment we’ll check your work and you can fix the things you missed.” The kids knew that I was willing to help anyone who was willing and teachable. It was a generally a pretty grace filled atmosphere.
I have to admit that sometimes a child would take advantage of my willingness to help. He or she would lazily hang around, get distracted by every little thing going on in the house and wait for me to pitch in and do their work myself. Another tactic was to whine, complain, and sometimes cry without even approaching a task, hoping that in frustration I might allow them to just give up on the assigned work all together. These were times when I wished I’d kept my willingness to help a big secret.
But the truth is that today’s children need to understand the role of the Savior in their every day lives and in connection to their every day problems. This great need completely outweighs any risk producing children who might take advantage of the Lord. I’m not sure it’s even possible! Heavenly Father’s children need to know about the divine help available to them. We cannot wait until they have turned to every counterfeit solution to problems the world has to offer. Many of these short-lived solutions become habits, compulsions and addictions. They may be a temporary “coping mechanism,” but they are spiritually damning and physically dangerous. Such addictions as drugs, alcohol, overeating, bulimia, anorexia, debt, sexual perversion or acting out hold those desperate for help in bondage and negatively affect generations of God’s children.
I don’t ever want to be afraid to tell others about God’s grace for fear that they will not do their part. When we understand the doctrine of grace, His enabling power, the blessing that His atonement can be to us at all times, in all things and in all places; we start to feel the hope and the courage necessary to get our feet wet, to make a start, to attempt, to begin something we think the Lord wants us to do. I want to teach my brothers and sisters to ask for, to live for, and to act upon the immediate direction, goodness, and power of God to provide the help they so desperately need. Understanding the concept of grace is highly motivating!
In 1 Corinthians 15:10 the Apostle Paul personally acknowledges that the blessing of grace in his life has only proved to spur him on to greater works. He says, “But by the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I but the grace of God which was in me.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
This scenario came to my mind. The parents of a fifteen your old son give him the assignment to weed the entire farm or else! They know the assignment is impossible, and plan to go out after lunch with all the hired labor and spend the rest of the day helping to complete the job. Purposely, they keep their plan to help secret from their son. Suspicious and afraid that if he knows, he’ll take advantage of them and lazily do less that his best work, while waiting for them to show up and help, they keep their plan to themselves. They decide to tell him about their willingness to help later, after they’re sure that he has worked up to capacity, and after he’s done all that he can do. The important objective is that they get the most out of him. No one is going to pull the wool over their eyes. They choose to encourage good works through stressing fear and duty rather than inspiring the assigned child with hope of completing the work because of the love of generous understanding parents.
The message of the story was, “Nannette, sometimes parents and leaders fail to teach or emphasize grace because they think they need to manipulate the diligence of kids. They are anywhere on a scale of suspicious to terrified that if they teach children and youth about the loving willingness of the Lord to help, the these young Saints will not obey the scriptural mandate to do all he or she can do.
I don’t want to admit it, but I can relate to this situation. As a mother of five and having home schooled for over two decades I have given plenty of assignments to children. Brush your teeth, pull your weeds, practice the piano, work on your merit badges, vacuum, do your math, English, creative writing, science, penmanship, history, reading, spelling, say your prayers, clean the bird cage, clean the bathroom, write in your journal, fold the laundry, and you name it, I’ve assigned it.
Many of the assignments I made were too difficult for the children to do well without help from me. In our family school the rule was, “Go try! See what you can do on your own. Read the instructions. Do the best you can and then come to me and I’ll help you where you need assistance. When you’re finished with an assignment we’ll check your work and you can fix the things you missed.” The kids knew that I was willing to help anyone who was willing and teachable. It was a generally a pretty grace filled atmosphere.
I have to admit that sometimes a child would take advantage of my willingness to help. He or she would lazily hang around, get distracted by every little thing going on in the house and wait for me to pitch in and do their work myself. Another tactic was to whine, complain, and sometimes cry without even approaching a task, hoping that in frustration I might allow them to just give up on the assigned work all together. These were times when I wished I’d kept my willingness to help a big secret.
But the truth is that today’s children need to understand the role of the Savior in their every day lives and in connection to their every day problems. This great need completely outweighs any risk producing children who might take advantage of the Lord. I’m not sure it’s even possible! Heavenly Father’s children need to know about the divine help available to them. We cannot wait until they have turned to every counterfeit solution to problems the world has to offer. Many of these short-lived solutions become habits, compulsions and addictions. They may be a temporary “coping mechanism,” but they are spiritually damning and physically dangerous. Such addictions as drugs, alcohol, overeating, bulimia, anorexia, debt, sexual perversion or acting out hold those desperate for help in bondage and negatively affect generations of God’s children.
I don’t ever want to be afraid to tell others about God’s grace for fear that they will not do their part. When we understand the doctrine of grace, His enabling power, the blessing that His atonement can be to us at all times, in all things and in all places; we start to feel the hope and the courage necessary to get our feet wet, to make a start, to attempt, to begin something we think the Lord wants us to do. I want to teach my brothers and sisters to ask for, to live for, and to act upon the immediate direction, goodness, and power of God to provide the help they so desperately need. Understanding the concept of grace is highly motivating!
In 1 Corinthians 15:10 the Apostle Paul personally acknowledges that the blessing of grace in his life has only proved to spur him on to greater works. He says, “But by the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I but the grace of God which was in me.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Never Too Big! - Step 3
I listened from the kitchen sink as my daughter in law (three months into the journey that brings and new life into the world) hefted her three year old up the stairs. As they came closer to the top I heard Diana say in her gentle, morning, mommy voice, “Sammy, you’re just getting too big for mommy to carry you up the stairs!”
“Too Big!” Sammy repeated with a grin. Being told she's growing “too big” to be carried sounds a lot like being told she is growing up. That idea really appeals to Sammy.
Someday Sammy will discover the truth that growing up doesn’t mean she will never need to be carried. There is One whose arms we never outgrow. She will never become so mature, so smart, and so sufficient that she can carry herself. In fact, the most grown up people among us are those who understand their great, unmistakable need to be carried along by God.
This truth about our need hangs in balance with the marvelous truth that He will never grow too feeble for the work of carrying. Unlike the wearying arms of our earthly parents our load will never outweigh His capacity. He arms are exactly suited to the weight of our burden.
Isaiah 46:4 "And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar [gray] hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you."
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, October 18, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
“Too Big!” Sammy repeated with a grin. Being told she's growing “too big” to be carried sounds a lot like being told she is growing up. That idea really appeals to Sammy.
Someday Sammy will discover the truth that growing up doesn’t mean she will never need to be carried. There is One whose arms we never outgrow. She will never become so mature, so smart, and so sufficient that she can carry herself. In fact, the most grown up people among us are those who understand their great, unmistakable need to be carried along by God.
This truth about our need hangs in balance with the marvelous truth that He will never grow too feeble for the work of carrying. Unlike the wearying arms of our earthly parents our load will never outweigh His capacity. He arms are exactly suited to the weight of our burden.
Isaiah 46:4 "And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar [gray] hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you."
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, October 18, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Our Kids are Paying Attention To Where We Place Our Attention – Carrying the Message to Our Children
In the early years I held back from openly announcing to the world or my family that I was involved in a recovery program and that I was applying the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to my lifetime struggle with food. My children knew I had started attending a Sunday night meeting, but Latter-day Saint moms go to lots of meetings. I decided not to put the “AA Big Book” on the back of the toilet. Someone might get the wrong idea. I read and studied. I wrote. I attended meetings. I phoned supportive friends. But I didn’t campaign.
One evening I waited up for my teenage daughter Jen. She was usually late. Just about the time my concern was about to turn to worry she came into the house and into my room. “Mom, I’m so sorry I’m so late but I have a friend who is having an awful time, I stayed after rehearsal and talked to her in the parking lot. Her parents are getting divorced. She’s having a terrible time. She’s so confused. I didn’t know what to say to her so I thought, ‘what would my mom say to her?’ and it came to me to tell her that she is not to blame and that she can turn her fears and worries and her parents over to the care of the Lord and that He will bless her to get through this.” Did my daughter just say she advised a friend do turn her fears and worries over to the Lord? I had no idea she had been paying attention.
Our children are very observant. They watch our behavior when trials come. They listen to the advice we give to others while we’re standing at the kitchen sink talking on the phone. They see where we run for comfort. When we live these 12 Christ Centered Steps in front of our children we are giving them a great gift, the example of a way of life, a way of coping with all of life. The things they observe in us can serve them and bless the ones they serve. They may be quick or slow to apply these principles to their own lives, but they are paying attention to where we place out attention.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, October 17, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
One evening I waited up for my teenage daughter Jen. She was usually late. Just about the time my concern was about to turn to worry she came into the house and into my room. “Mom, I’m so sorry I’m so late but I have a friend who is having an awful time, I stayed after rehearsal and talked to her in the parking lot. Her parents are getting divorced. She’s having a terrible time. She’s so confused. I didn’t know what to say to her so I thought, ‘what would my mom say to her?’ and it came to me to tell her that she is not to blame and that she can turn her fears and worries and her parents over to the care of the Lord and that He will bless her to get through this.” Did my daughter just say she advised a friend do turn her fears and worries over to the Lord? I had no idea she had been paying attention.
Our children are very observant. They watch our behavior when trials come. They listen to the advice we give to others while we’re standing at the kitchen sink talking on the phone. They see where we run for comfort. When we live these 12 Christ Centered Steps in front of our children we are giving them a great gift, the example of a way of life, a way of coping with all of life. The things they observe in us can serve them and bless the ones they serve. They may be quick or slow to apply these principles to their own lives, but they are paying attention to where we place out attention.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, October 17, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Potty Training, Some Far Reaching Implications – The Process of Recovery
One of my very first recovery instructive experiences was in connection with potty training of my last child, a little boy (I’ll respect his anonymity on this one). This subject may be a little on the edge but it was so enlightening I can’t help sharing it. One day in the middle of the potty training process, the week that all mothers dread, I went to find my little friend. I found him hiding behind a chair. He had obviously had “an accident,” if you know what I mean, and was in grave need of assistance. Upon being discovered he looked up at me and said, “You don’t like me!”
I immediately thought about my own grave need for assistance in so many areas of life. I imagined myself, hiding out, hoping not to be discovered. I imagined the Lord searching for me, and the terror of having Him actually find me. Then I pictured myself looking up into His eyes and saying in all sincerity, “You don’t like me!”
As the moment with my son and the moment with my Lord intersected, I knew that the Lord’s feelings for me were just a tender as my feelings for my little boy. I knew that He was only interested in helping me, teaching me, training me, and that he would do it in the most loving way possible. I realized that to feel otherwise and to run away and hide from Him would only delay my progress. I understood for the first time that imagining that He didn’t like me, because I wasn’t “trained,” was not any kind of humility. It was a belief in a lie, perhaps the greatest lie that can be told! It is a lie that has the power to delay His ability to bless my life indefinitely.
The point was driven home several days later. My little guy and I continued working on the goal at hand. One afternoon it looked as though history was going to repeat itself. I called out to my little buddy who had suddenly disappeared. I followed my nose (if you know what I mean). It was the same little boy, same mother, same chair, and same need for a major clean up. But this time was different. Upon being discovered new words flowed out of his innocent little mouth. The words were a stunning to me. The words were, “I don’t like you!”
“I can’t believe you just said that!” My mind was a million miles away from potty training. My little boy was demonstrating to me the exact process so many of us go through, the destructive actions that correspond with these thoughts, “I am imperfect! My life is a mess! My need for change is obvious! I need help but I’m embarrassed! I’m a big disappointment to God! I will run away from my Helper, my Savior! I’m sure He doesn’t like me! I don’t think I like him very much either.”
Finally we become desperate for help. We see no other solution than to finally come out from behind the chair, out from hiding, no matter how mortifying our condition is, no matter how bad we think we smell, and turn to God for help. Recovery begins when we are finally willing to experiment with the notion that “He likes us!” Living in recovery for the rest of our lives is made possible because over time we realize that “we like Him; we love Him!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, October 16, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
I immediately thought about my own grave need for assistance in so many areas of life. I imagined myself, hiding out, hoping not to be discovered. I imagined the Lord searching for me, and the terror of having Him actually find me. Then I pictured myself looking up into His eyes and saying in all sincerity, “You don’t like me!”
As the moment with my son and the moment with my Lord intersected, I knew that the Lord’s feelings for me were just a tender as my feelings for my little boy. I knew that He was only interested in helping me, teaching me, training me, and that he would do it in the most loving way possible. I realized that to feel otherwise and to run away and hide from Him would only delay my progress. I understood for the first time that imagining that He didn’t like me, because I wasn’t “trained,” was not any kind of humility. It was a belief in a lie, perhaps the greatest lie that can be told! It is a lie that has the power to delay His ability to bless my life indefinitely.
The point was driven home several days later. My little guy and I continued working on the goal at hand. One afternoon it looked as though history was going to repeat itself. I called out to my little buddy who had suddenly disappeared. I followed my nose (if you know what I mean). It was the same little boy, same mother, same chair, and same need for a major clean up. But this time was different. Upon being discovered new words flowed out of his innocent little mouth. The words were a stunning to me. The words were, “I don’t like you!”
“I can’t believe you just said that!” My mind was a million miles away from potty training. My little boy was demonstrating to me the exact process so many of us go through, the destructive actions that correspond with these thoughts, “I am imperfect! My life is a mess! My need for change is obvious! I need help but I’m embarrassed! I’m a big disappointment to God! I will run away from my Helper, my Savior! I’m sure He doesn’t like me! I don’t think I like him very much either.”
Finally we become desperate for help. We see no other solution than to finally come out from behind the chair, out from hiding, no matter how mortifying our condition is, no matter how bad we think we smell, and turn to God for help. Recovery begins when we are finally willing to experiment with the notion that “He likes us!” Living in recovery for the rest of our lives is made possible because over time we realize that “we like Him; we love Him!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, October 16, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
“Sorry, Right Number, But Eliza Isn’t Taking Any Calls!” – Step 11 Preparation
When Eliza two years old and starting to express herself quite clearly with words her parents left her with me for several nights and went out of town. She obviously missed them. She asked about them. She looked out the big front window hoping to see them coming up the walk, and at times she even cried for them. One evening, just as I was getting ready to tuck Eliza into bed they called to see how things were going. I told them Eliza definitely missed them, but we were getting along quite well. At the tail end of our conversation they asked to talk to their first-born little girl. I went to where she was playing in the house and said with grandmotherly excitement, “Eliza, come here, mommy and daddy are on the phone and they want to talk to you!” To my total surprise and Eliza refused to come to the phone. She continued to play as if she had absolutely not interest in talking to her very home sick parents. Maybe she didn’t understand. “Look Eliza,” I said holding the phone up to her disinclined ear. “It’s your mommy. She wants to talk to you!” No response! So, I took another approach. “Eliza, your mommy and daddy miss you so much. They really want to say hi to you. Please talk to them. Say Hi mommy!” But Eliza held firm. Her non- response turned to a frown and a “No!” Not one word escaped her little pink lips. “Sorry Jen,” I said, feeling a little embarrassed and empathizing with my daughter, so far away from her baby. “ She won’t talk. I think she’s a little angry and she’s showing it.”
That day my heart went out to this loving, very confused, and relatively new mother. My heart also went out to my Heavenly Father. I saw the parallel between Eliza’s behavior towards her earthly parents and my own behavior toward those Heavenly Parents who have actually allowed and encouraged me to leave home for a long awaited, apparently well deserved, and very necessary time away. I wondered about the times I have refused to speak to Them even though I so obviously miss them. Maybe I’m a little like Eliza, angry about the whole separation idea and showing it. Even though, according to scripture, I know I agreed to it, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
This morning I told my now much older, much wiser Granddaughter Eliza that I was writing about her today. I rehearsed the above story. She laughed. Then I asked her, “Eliza, if you were in the same position today and your parents called to say hi and to see how you were doing, would you refuse to talk to them?”
“Of course not!” she giggled.
“Why?” I questioned.
“Well, I would know that they are my parents, and that they really need me to talk now, because they only have so many minutes on their cell phone.”
“OK, anything else?” She thought a minute.
“I would know that they are going to come back…I know that everyone needs a little break every once in a while, and…Oh ya…I love them!”
Eliza has learned some important things in regard to her parents since her first solo experience. These things make her not only willing but excited to get a call from mom and dad. Eliza and I decided that four words sum up the feelings she has developed. Respect, Trust, Understanding, and Love.
It’s not so different with my willingness to communicate with my Heavenly Father. Step 11 is the step of seeking to improve our communication with the Lord. There’s a reason it’s Step 11 and not Step 1. Eliza’s respect, trust, understanding, and love for her parents were not automatic. It was not “a given.” These things took time and experience to develop. Likewise it takes time and experience for us to grow in our respect, trust, understanding, and love of God. This earth life experience provides the time. Applying Steps 1-10 provides the experience. If we make good use of our time and are thorough in taking the first 10 Steps we will not have to be persuaded or begged to take a call from God. We will actively listen for His call to us! The best news is that our communication with Our Heavenly Parent will never be cut short because He is running low on cell phone minutes!
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
That day my heart went out to this loving, very confused, and relatively new mother. My heart also went out to my Heavenly Father. I saw the parallel between Eliza’s behavior towards her earthly parents and my own behavior toward those Heavenly Parents who have actually allowed and encouraged me to leave home for a long awaited, apparently well deserved, and very necessary time away. I wondered about the times I have refused to speak to Them even though I so obviously miss them. Maybe I’m a little like Eliza, angry about the whole separation idea and showing it. Even though, according to scripture, I know I agreed to it, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
This morning I told my now much older, much wiser Granddaughter Eliza that I was writing about her today. I rehearsed the above story. She laughed. Then I asked her, “Eliza, if you were in the same position today and your parents called to say hi and to see how you were doing, would you refuse to talk to them?”
“Of course not!” she giggled.
“Why?” I questioned.
“Well, I would know that they are my parents, and that they really need me to talk now, because they only have so many minutes on their cell phone.”
“OK, anything else?” She thought a minute.
“I would know that they are going to come back…I know that everyone needs a little break every once in a while, and…Oh ya…I love them!”
Eliza has learned some important things in regard to her parents since her first solo experience. These things make her not only willing but excited to get a call from mom and dad. Eliza and I decided that four words sum up the feelings she has developed. Respect, Trust, Understanding, and Love.
It’s not so different with my willingness to communicate with my Heavenly Father. Step 11 is the step of seeking to improve our communication with the Lord. There’s a reason it’s Step 11 and not Step 1. Eliza’s respect, trust, understanding, and love for her parents were not automatic. It was not “a given.” These things took time and experience to develop. Likewise it takes time and experience for us to grow in our respect, trust, understanding, and love of God. This earth life experience provides the time. Applying Steps 1-10 provides the experience. If we make good use of our time and are thorough in taking the first 10 Steps we will not have to be persuaded or begged to take a call from God. We will actively listen for His call to us! The best news is that our communication with Our Heavenly Parent will never be cut short because He is running low on cell phone minutes!
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, October 13, 2008
“Mom, Can I Have An Otter? – Please!” – 12 Step Work
Last summer my brother and his wife took their four children to Sea Word. There was a situation during their vacation that I am sure is long forgotten that I will never forget. As related by my sister in law…”the whole family had just enjoyed the show put on by the Otters. Apparently the Otters did a pretty impressive job. They definitely captured one heart that day. My nephew Kyle, age five, was so taken with the little creatures that as they exited the arena he expressed to his mother, in no uncertain terms, his desire to HAVE an Otter. He was not interested in the stuffed kind in the gift shop either. He wanted the living, frolicking kind and he was serious! There were tears and lots of pleading. Finally my sister in law asked her young son. “Kyle, what would we have to do to have a otter?” She fully expected him to come to his five year old senses and consider the gargantuan effort it would take to provide food and an appropriate oceanic environment for an otter at their condo in the suburbs. But that’s not where Kyle’s mind went. His answer to the question, “Kyle, what would we have to do to have a otter?” was simply, “Say please?”
We all had a good laugh. We teach children that “please” is the magic word that unlocks so many doors, so why not this one. This little interchange took my mind to one of the great misunderstandings about the recovery, healing, and change that result from applying the 12 Steps. The first step is to become honest and admit that we of ourselves “are powerless and that [our] live[s] have become unmanageable.” The second is to “come to believe that the power of God can restore [us] to complete spiritual health.” So, first we become honest about our need and second we become serious about experimenting with the belief that God can help us. Some people quit reading through the steps right there, never exploring steps 3-12. They assume that this is a program where those participating sit around and wait for God to change them, for God to do all the work.
Nothing could be further from the truth. We often refer to applying these gospel principles in our lives as “recovery work.” And “work” it is! It’s true that it’s a different kind of effort than we’ve made in the past, the effort that didn’t yield lasting results. It’s true that the outer signs of progress might not be immediately visible, because we work on an inner change that eventually shows on the outside. And finally, it’s true that we do not work alone. We work under the direction and with the power of God. Our work is made possible because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Divinely facilitated recovery, healing, and progress definitely require work. It’s not a matter of “Please Mom, can I have a Otter” and it’s definitely not a matter of “Please God, can I have recovery!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 13, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
We all had a good laugh. We teach children that “please” is the magic word that unlocks so many doors, so why not this one. This little interchange took my mind to one of the great misunderstandings about the recovery, healing, and change that result from applying the 12 Steps. The first step is to become honest and admit that we of ourselves “are powerless and that [our] live[s] have become unmanageable.” The second is to “come to believe that the power of God can restore [us] to complete spiritual health.” So, first we become honest about our need and second we become serious about experimenting with the belief that God can help us. Some people quit reading through the steps right there, never exploring steps 3-12. They assume that this is a program where those participating sit around and wait for God to change them, for God to do all the work.
Nothing could be further from the truth. We often refer to applying these gospel principles in our lives as “recovery work.” And “work” it is! It’s true that it’s a different kind of effort than we’ve made in the past, the effort that didn’t yield lasting results. It’s true that the outer signs of progress might not be immediately visible, because we work on an inner change that eventually shows on the outside. And finally, it’s true that we do not work alone. We work under the direction and with the power of God. Our work is made possible because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Divinely facilitated recovery, healing, and progress definitely require work. It’s not a matter of “Please Mom, can I have a Otter” and it’s definitely not a matter of “Please God, can I have recovery!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 13, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
“Ethan, Patience Means Be Quiet!” – Steps 6 and 7
We've had the great experience of having three of our adult children, their spouses, and children live with us at separate times. It has been great fun to be a full time grandma and enjoy once again observing the early learning of little ones. One day as I sat outside the entrance to the kitchen I overheard the following interchange.
Two-year-old Ethan was sitting in the high chair squealing for his Cheerios. Grandpa Marv said to Ethan, “Don’t you know what patience is?” Four-year-old Eliza walked intelligently up to the high chair and said, “Ethan, patience means, Be Quiet!”
I had to smile at that! As parents and grandparents we tend to do what we can to teach children what certain qualities of character look like. Patient people are quiet, patient people wait, patient people don’t whine. This is how patient people act. But most of us know that just because we’re quiet, wait, and don’t whine it doesn’t necessarily mean we, in fact, possess the quality of patience.
Many of us come to the 12 Steps out of a desperate need to change our behavior, but one of the fundamental aspects of recovery is a true, heart deep change of character. The foundation of all action is character. Step 6 says, “Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.” In other words, become ready to have God change you on a level you have not been able to achieve on your own. Step 7 says, “Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.” Acting patient, kind, grateful, loving etc. is no substitute for being patient, kind, forgiving, loving, and hopeful.
Until I involve God in the formation of my character I will always be an actress who thinks “patience means be quiet,” “gratitude means say thanks you,” and “kindness means share your stuff with other people!” Acting is only good as far as it goes. It might help Grandpa have a more peaceful breakfast in a house full of grandkids, but lasting change of behavior required a real change of character.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 12, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Two-year-old Ethan was sitting in the high chair squealing for his Cheerios. Grandpa Marv said to Ethan, “Don’t you know what patience is?” Four-year-old Eliza walked intelligently up to the high chair and said, “Ethan, patience means, Be Quiet!”
I had to smile at that! As parents and grandparents we tend to do what we can to teach children what certain qualities of character look like. Patient people are quiet, patient people wait, patient people don’t whine. This is how patient people act. But most of us know that just because we’re quiet, wait, and don’t whine it doesn’t necessarily mean we, in fact, possess the quality of patience.
Many of us come to the 12 Steps out of a desperate need to change our behavior, but one of the fundamental aspects of recovery is a true, heart deep change of character. The foundation of all action is character. Step 6 says, “Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.” In other words, become ready to have God change you on a level you have not been able to achieve on your own. Step 7 says, “Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.” Acting patient, kind, grateful, loving etc. is no substitute for being patient, kind, forgiving, loving, and hopeful.
Until I involve God in the formation of my character I will always be an actress who thinks “patience means be quiet,” “gratitude means say thanks you,” and “kindness means share your stuff with other people!” Acting is only good as far as it goes. It might help Grandpa have a more peaceful breakfast in a house full of grandkids, but lasting change of behavior required a real change of character.
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 12, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Whole Earth and I Have Something in Common - God’s Mindfulness – Step 2
I became friends with a sister in my ward from Mexico. She was struggling with her marriage and seeking to know the Lord’s will. One day she asked if I would go the temple with her. The temple was extremely busy. We waited an exceptionally long time in the waiting room. For several weeks I had been helping her improve her English. I knew her ability to understand was quite limited, so I asked if she wanted to hear the session in Spanish. She said no, that she would try it in English. About two minutes into the temple session they stopped the film and asked if “anyone else wanted to listen in Spanish.” I couldn’t believe my ears! I had never had this experience before. I asked her again if she would like to listen in Spanish and with great relief she said yes! I think the Lord was very aware of my friend and wanted her to have a meaningful experience in the temple that day.
We are often reminded by the prophets that the Lord is mindful of us. We read in the Book of Mormon, “Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth.” Alma 26:37
I don’t know how it’s possible, and it makes no sense, but for some reason I can believe in a kind of global God who is “mindful of every people” and still not be sure He is mindful of me. Perhaps one of the most beautiful results of applying the12 Steps to my life is finally receiving the absolute witness that God is not only mindful of all of creation, He is mindful of me!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, October 11, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
We are often reminded by the prophets that the Lord is mindful of us. We read in the Book of Mormon, “Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth.” Alma 26:37
I don’t know how it’s possible, and it makes no sense, but for some reason I can believe in a kind of global God who is “mindful of every people” and still not be sure He is mindful of me. Perhaps one of the most beautiful results of applying the12 Steps to my life is finally receiving the absolute witness that God is not only mindful of all of creation, He is mindful of me!
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, October 11, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Overcharged? Time to Take Step 3
Luke 21:34 “And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with…cares of this life…” I use to have this verse on my refrigerator. I think it was a handout from a Relief Society lesson. I stuck it on my fridge because when I get overcharged (overloaded) with the cares of this life my fridge is where I am tempted to look for comfort.
Maybe other ladies in the ward took it home and stuck it to their credit card or on their medicine cabinet door, or their TV or their computer. There’s hardly an end to the list of places to run when we’re overcharged with care and most of the substances and behaviors we turn to are physically and spiritually destructive. When I feel tempted to take destructive measures it’s always a sign that I am overcharged with care.
“Care” has many faces. There’s Sorrow, Heartache, Anguish, Grief, Concern, Anxiety, Worry, Trial, Trouble, Duty, Responsibility. Life is full of opportunities to be overcharged with care. So what should we do when we recognize the signs of being overcharged with the cares of this life?
The Prophet Peter’s recommendation is that we “[cast] all [our] care upon him [Jesus Christ]…” (1 Peter 5:7). The word cast it a verb, an action word. According to Webster’s Dictionary, “to cast” is to throw, to sling, to shed. The Lord does not want me to keep to myself any of life’s cares. I am commanded to throw them, to sling them, and to shed myself of them. These words do not describe a timid, back peddling response. “Do you really want to take this care from me Lord?” They do not describe a self-righteous response. “Maybe if I hang on to this care of mine I can fix it without bothering the Lord with my little trouble.” They do not describe a proud, or self-pitying response. “I can’t give this care to the Lord. It’s of my own making. I need to live with this struggle and deal with it by myself.” When Peter says, “Casting all your care upon him…” I think he really means ALL!
I am commanded to throw my cares, to sling them, to shed them with abandon, and with power, in the direction of Jesus Christ. If I am willing to cast my all my cares upon the Lord this is promised result. “He careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) This promise takes on a different meaning with each reading as I emphasize a different word in the phrase. Jesus cares for me. Jesus cares for me. Jesus cares for me. Jesus cares for me.
Next time I feel overcharged (and I’m sure I won’t have to wait long) I want to take my care to the only One who really understands and who has the power to help me. Such a simple but stunning alternative to blowing a personal fuse!
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, October 10, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Maybe other ladies in the ward took it home and stuck it to their credit card or on their medicine cabinet door, or their TV or their computer. There’s hardly an end to the list of places to run when we’re overcharged with care and most of the substances and behaviors we turn to are physically and spiritually destructive. When I feel tempted to take destructive measures it’s always a sign that I am overcharged with care.
“Care” has many faces. There’s Sorrow, Heartache, Anguish, Grief, Concern, Anxiety, Worry, Trial, Trouble, Duty, Responsibility. Life is full of opportunities to be overcharged with care. So what should we do when we recognize the signs of being overcharged with the cares of this life?
The Prophet Peter’s recommendation is that we “[cast] all [our] care upon him [Jesus Christ]…” (1 Peter 5:7). The word cast it a verb, an action word. According to Webster’s Dictionary, “to cast” is to throw, to sling, to shed. The Lord does not want me to keep to myself any of life’s cares. I am commanded to throw them, to sling them, and to shed myself of them. These words do not describe a timid, back peddling response. “Do you really want to take this care from me Lord?” They do not describe a self-righteous response. “Maybe if I hang on to this care of mine I can fix it without bothering the Lord with my little trouble.” They do not describe a proud, or self-pitying response. “I can’t give this care to the Lord. It’s of my own making. I need to live with this struggle and deal with it by myself.” When Peter says, “Casting all your care upon him…” I think he really means ALL!
I am commanded to throw my cares, to sling them, to shed them with abandon, and with power, in the direction of Jesus Christ. If I am willing to cast my all my cares upon the Lord this is promised result. “He careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) This promise takes on a different meaning with each reading as I emphasize a different word in the phrase. Jesus cares for me. Jesus cares for me. Jesus cares for me. Jesus cares for me.
Next time I feel overcharged (and I’m sure I won’t have to wait long) I want to take my care to the only One who really understands and who has the power to help me. Such a simple but stunning alternative to blowing a personal fuse!
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, October 10, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The Dailies, Tools or Weapons?
The Lord and I are involved in a building project together. It’s an upgrade on me. The plans for the project are for the building of a temple. Imagine…a temple out of me…a place where the Father and the Son can one day have a permanent home.
Every tool necessary has been provided for the project. Prayer, meditation, scriptures, instructions from present day prophets, my journal and meetings are some of the most important tools in the box. These are most effective if they are on the job site being used every day.
Some days, for one reason or another I’m not able to use each of these tools. My tendency is to be frustrated over not using this or that tool. I’m tempted to berate myself and act out in negative ways that harm me. One day I was giving myself a scotch blessing (as my great-grandmother would have called it) for not getting on my knees until after lunch and not getting to my scriptures at all and not getting to the temple yet this month, when suddenly it occurred to my how sad it must make the Lord when I take a tool meant for temple building and use it to beat my self up.
Sometimes a little picture helps straighten out my thinking in moments of discouragement. Next time I’m tempted to rail on myself over my inconsistent daily use of the tools in God’s temple building toolbox, I’m going to imagine picking up the Book of Mormon and whacking myself on the head with it. Pretty ridiculous! Maybe there should be instructions on the outside of the box: “Not to be used as a weapon! Use only for building up, not tearing down!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Every tool necessary has been provided for the project. Prayer, meditation, scriptures, instructions from present day prophets, my journal and meetings are some of the most important tools in the box. These are most effective if they are on the job site being used every day.
Some days, for one reason or another I’m not able to use each of these tools. My tendency is to be frustrated over not using this or that tool. I’m tempted to berate myself and act out in negative ways that harm me. One day I was giving myself a scotch blessing (as my great-grandmother would have called it) for not getting on my knees until after lunch and not getting to my scriptures at all and not getting to the temple yet this month, when suddenly it occurred to my how sad it must make the Lord when I take a tool meant for temple building and use it to beat my self up.
Sometimes a little picture helps straighten out my thinking in moments of discouragement. Next time I’m tempted to rail on myself over my inconsistent daily use of the tools in God’s temple building toolbox, I’m going to imagine picking up the Book of Mormon and whacking myself on the head with it. Pretty ridiculous! Maybe there should be instructions on the outside of the box: “Not to be used as a weapon! Use only for building up, not tearing down!”
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
"Mom, This is What I Need For Christmas…" "Lord, This is What I Need Because of Christmas…" - All Steps
As soon as the weather begins to change we start to think about the holiday season. I imagine that all the folks who plan to be ready for Christmas by Thanksgiving Day are already moving on their shopping list. That’s never been my style. I tell people that I am firmly committed to NOT starting my Christmas shopping until after Thanksgiving. I usually spend October and November dreading the shopping that lurks in the future. Instead of getting on to it I wait until the last minute wondering what on earth I’m going to buy for the people on my list. By December 1st the pressure starts to get intense. Neighborhood lights are up, trees are lit and shopping malls are full! So out into the snow I go, purchasing to the best of my ability, and fretting the whole time over whether I’m doing a good job or not. This pattern does not necessarily make for a jolly holiday season, but until the last few years I have never been able to extricate myself from this dread and fear based gift-giving scenario.
A new pattern seems to be developing though. At first I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I have decided to see this new pattern as a gift from my family and a message from God. Today I received a phone call from one of my children.
“Mom, Would it be OK if I tell you what I want for Christmas?”
The thought that it is only October 7th, well before the post Thanksgiving crunch time and I have no idea what she might want or need makes this very appealing. “I think it would be great!” I respond. A week ago I had the same experience with another daughter who then gave me helpful suggestions for her younger sister and her two-year-old daughter.
I was thinking about this new system one day, wondering if it was OK. What about the missing element of creativity and surprise? The came to me “this is how divine gift giving works. I go to the Lord and share my needs. Most often my needs have to do with living the 12 Steps, the principles that bring recovery and healing and progress. I share with Him that I need:
1. The ability to be more honest about my weaknesses
2. Greater hope in His power to help me
3. Greater trust in Him
4. Understanding of the truth about my actions
5. Courage to confess my wrongs
6. Desire to let go on character weakness that are holding me back
7. Willingness to ask for divine help to change
8. The capacity to forgive
9. Courage to seek forgiveness and the knowledge of how to make restitution for past hurts
10. Integrity to live these principles every day all day
11. Greater understanding of His will for me and the power to do it
12. Opportunities to help other by introducing them to these principles and sharing how they have blessed my life, and the willingness to apply these principles to ever aspect of my life.
The Lord and I both have a gift-giving dilemma. Mine is that I don’t know what people need. His is different. He knows exactly what we need, but so often He can’t give it to us without our permission, without our asking, without our willingness to receive His gift. Just like my own children are helping to solve my gift giving problem I am learning to help the Lord with His by being more and more honest with Him about my needs.
I don’t have to wait for Christmas either. A very common Christmas card reads “Christ is the reason for the season.” I am coming to know that Christ is the reason for every season in my life. I don’t share what I need for Christmas. I share what I need for October 8th and 9th, and 10th. I share what I know He can bless me with all year long because of Christmas.
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
A new pattern seems to be developing though. At first I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I have decided to see this new pattern as a gift from my family and a message from God. Today I received a phone call from one of my children.
“Mom, Would it be OK if I tell you what I want for Christmas?”
The thought that it is only October 7th, well before the post Thanksgiving crunch time and I have no idea what she might want or need makes this very appealing. “I think it would be great!” I respond. A week ago I had the same experience with another daughter who then gave me helpful suggestions for her younger sister and her two-year-old daughter.
I was thinking about this new system one day, wondering if it was OK. What about the missing element of creativity and surprise? The came to me “this is how divine gift giving works. I go to the Lord and share my needs. Most often my needs have to do with living the 12 Steps, the principles that bring recovery and healing and progress. I share with Him that I need:
1. The ability to be more honest about my weaknesses
2. Greater hope in His power to help me
3. Greater trust in Him
4. Understanding of the truth about my actions
5. Courage to confess my wrongs
6. Desire to let go on character weakness that are holding me back
7. Willingness to ask for divine help to change
8. The capacity to forgive
9. Courage to seek forgiveness and the knowledge of how to make restitution for past hurts
10. Integrity to live these principles every day all day
11. Greater understanding of His will for me and the power to do it
12. Opportunities to help other by introducing them to these principles and sharing how they have blessed my life, and the willingness to apply these principles to ever aspect of my life.
The Lord and I both have a gift-giving dilemma. Mine is that I don’t know what people need. His is different. He knows exactly what we need, but so often He can’t give it to us without our permission, without our asking, without our willingness to receive His gift. Just like my own children are helping to solve my gift giving problem I am learning to help the Lord with His by being more and more honest with Him about my needs.
I don’t have to wait for Christmas either. A very common Christmas card reads “Christ is the reason for the season.” I am coming to know that Christ is the reason for every season in my life. I don’t share what I need for Christmas. I share what I need for October 8th and 9th, and 10th. I share what I know He can bless me with all year long because of Christmas.
By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Giving Up: Despair or Delight – Steps 1, 2, and 3
I often strive to the point of strife. This strife is always counterproductive. I never seem to be able to kick and scream my way to any kind of real and lasting progress. Math and especially science that involves math has always been a struggle for me. My high school chemistry teacher was my dad. Chemistry assignments presented a tremendous challenge for me. I spent the semester being in critical need of help from my very willing, very able chemistry professor father. I never did receive the help I needed even though my Dad received the honor of being a California Teachers of the Year. He was kind and loving and able, but because I was so sure I couldn’t be helped, I never allowed him to be my personal Teacher of the Year. I spent my chemistry season in such a frenzy that I was incapable of being taught. I simply gave up.
Of course I didn’t recognize the nature of my problem until I had my children of my own who were sometimes just like me. At times they too would become so frustrated over this or that assignment, so sure they couldn’t accomplish a task, and positive that any help from me, the parent, was of no value.
Heavenly Father’s batting average is no better than my dad’s or mine when it comes to helping His kids who are convinced they are on there own. In the 12 Steps and most specifically in steps 1, 2, and 3 we learn that, “giving up” is not only necessary, but also essential to recovery and healing. How can this be?
“Giving up” has two definitions. One meaning is to lose all hope, with synonyms like despair and despond. Another meaning is to surrender one’s control completely, with synonyms like relinquish, hand over, lay down, resign, and yield.
The first manner of “giving up” (loss of hope that brings despair) is what I did in regard to chemistry and at times experienced with my own children. This kind of giving up contributes to today’s wide spread problem of depression. Depression often results from feeling we know our potential, trying to reach it, and coming face to face with our own weakness and inability to measure up. We kick and scream at ourselves, others, our surroundings, and even God and His laws. We become disillusioned with our stab at perfection. We give up all together, overwhelmed with anger, self-pity and discouragement. God is not able to help us and neither can anyone else!
The second manner of “giving up” corresponds with the ability to live in recovery, to heal and to make lasting progress. When we “give up” by surrendering and turning the part of the task we are struggling with over to God, He is able to extend grace(enabling power) in our behalf.
Today, as I face the inevitable temptation to “give up” on one God given task or another I get to choose the brand of “giving up” I want to live with. I can do my best, giving up my desire to do it myself. I can receive the help and the knowledge I need to move forward from a loving Father. It is a choice. I can choose to give up in despair or I can give up and experience what Nephi felt when He said, “yea my soul delighteth in His grace.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 6, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Of course I didn’t recognize the nature of my problem until I had my children of my own who were sometimes just like me. At times they too would become so frustrated over this or that assignment, so sure they couldn’t accomplish a task, and positive that any help from me, the parent, was of no value.
Heavenly Father’s batting average is no better than my dad’s or mine when it comes to helping His kids who are convinced they are on there own. In the 12 Steps and most specifically in steps 1, 2, and 3 we learn that, “giving up” is not only necessary, but also essential to recovery and healing. How can this be?
“Giving up” has two definitions. One meaning is to lose all hope, with synonyms like despair and despond. Another meaning is to surrender one’s control completely, with synonyms like relinquish, hand over, lay down, resign, and yield.
The first manner of “giving up” (loss of hope that brings despair) is what I did in regard to chemistry and at times experienced with my own children. This kind of giving up contributes to today’s wide spread problem of depression. Depression often results from feeling we know our potential, trying to reach it, and coming face to face with our own weakness and inability to measure up. We kick and scream at ourselves, others, our surroundings, and even God and His laws. We become disillusioned with our stab at perfection. We give up all together, overwhelmed with anger, self-pity and discouragement. God is not able to help us and neither can anyone else!
The second manner of “giving up” corresponds with the ability to live in recovery, to heal and to make lasting progress. When we “give up” by surrendering and turning the part of the task we are struggling with over to God, He is able to extend grace(enabling power) in our behalf.
Today, as I face the inevitable temptation to “give up” on one God given task or another I get to choose the brand of “giving up” I want to live with. I can do my best, giving up my desire to do it myself. I can receive the help and the knowledge I need to move forward from a loving Father. It is a choice. I can choose to give up in despair or I can give up and experience what Nephi felt when He said, “yea my soul delighteth in His grace.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 6, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Labor and Delivery, The Picture of Grace – All Steps
In bringing forth my first child my most vivid memory is of laboring until I was completely spent. Finally the doctor, with only a baby’s face in view said, “It’s too pretty to be a boy.” Even at this joyous moment I was filled with despair. I started to cry and told the Dr. and my husband that I was totally incapable of pushing the rest of her out. In my exhausted, uneducated, frightened mind I could not imagine where I would get the strength to push the rest of the baby through the birth canal. I multiplied the amount of pain and work I had given to see her little face by the length of her entire body. I knew I was spent and was filled with despair. Everyone in the room had a good laugh at my first time mother naivety. The doctor asked me to push one more time and she slid right out. The joy and relief that came were overwhelming. I had given all I had to the task at hand and had been required to give no more. This event symbolizes the feelings of joy and gratitude a moments grace can bring.
Grace is God’s enabling power that helps us do something or continue doing something good we would not be able to do on our own. It is available to us because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. A good earthly parent encourages and allows a child to do all that he or she can but is always willing to step in and assist when a task lies outside the child’s range of experience. So it is with God as he parents me. He is the consummate Good Parent. He is totally aware of my potential, but He also understands exactly what I am capable of right now. His grace is sufficient for all of us, in all aspects of living. We humbly put our hand to the work He has asked us to do. As the burdens of life begin to break our backs, we abandon any pride or self-will and call out to Him. As we lean on Him, He lifts our load and make our burdens lighter and easier to bear. Our relationship with the Lord is born, and fueled, and sustained as we place our weary selves in His loving strong hands. It's all about Labor and Delivery!
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 5, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Grace is God’s enabling power that helps us do something or continue doing something good we would not be able to do on our own. It is available to us because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. A good earthly parent encourages and allows a child to do all that he or she can but is always willing to step in and assist when a task lies outside the child’s range of experience. So it is with God as he parents me. He is the consummate Good Parent. He is totally aware of my potential, but He also understands exactly what I am capable of right now. His grace is sufficient for all of us, in all aspects of living. We humbly put our hand to the work He has asked us to do. As the burdens of life begin to break our backs, we abandon any pride or self-will and call out to Him. As we lean on Him, He lifts our load and make our burdens lighter and easier to bear. Our relationship with the Lord is born, and fueled, and sustained as we place our weary selves in His loving strong hands. It's all about Labor and Delivery!
By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 5, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Got the General Conference Is Over Blues? Cheer Up! The Feast Is Going to Continue – Step 11
In the Spirit of our belief in continuing revelation, our family has always listened to conference with one ear cocked for something new. My kids use to ask, “Mom, do you think the Prophet is going to announce something exciting? If he does won’t it be in the Sunday afternoon session of conference?” We’d glue ourselves to the TV, listening to his final remarks, hoping for NEW direction, NEW motivation, and NEW instructions from the Lord, through the Prophet, to us.
When I was young, my concept of the blessing of continuing revelation rested firmly on and was mostly limited to what we were blessed with, as a people, every six months through a living Prophet. I have come to know that this view of God’s desire and ability to communicate with me was only half the picture, and it actually diminished the power the Conference messages might have in my own Post-Conference progression.
Step 11 challenges me to daily, “Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.” I don’t want to put God in a Conference sized box. I want Him to be alive and instructive and powerful everyday and in the way He sees best for me as an individual child. The testimony of continual revelation need not lay dormant, waiting for General Conference to role around again in six months. It can be strengthened every time I study the words delivered in Conference by Latter-day Prophets, and then take President Benson’s challenge to continually ask, “Lord, what would Thou have me to do?” What would Thou have me do about Thy message through Elder Bednar, Elder Packer, and President Monson etc?
In order for General Conference to become specific to me, the revelation can’t end with “God Be With You Til’ We Meet Again” and the final “Amen.” The messages delivered at Conference are meant to be the beginning. They are the Lord’s topic sentences, meant to initiate six months of Spirit facilitated personal direction, instruction, motivation, and change. For revelation to be truly continuous the teachings of the Prophets must enter my heart, and then I must seek further revelation, further personal understanding, and greater detail pertaining to me and my individual situation.
I grew up in California with a Utah born and raised mother. Twice a year as General Conference ended she would cry. Oh how did she hate the feast to end! But when the last “Amen” is said, I say, “Let’s all rejoice!” The same Spirit who brings to us the words of Christ during General Conference is alive and well and will continue to guide and instruct and change us. Even after we push the power button on the remote and the TV turns off we can allow the Revelator to continue in us.
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, October 3, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
When I was young, my concept of the blessing of continuing revelation rested firmly on and was mostly limited to what we were blessed with, as a people, every six months through a living Prophet. I have come to know that this view of God’s desire and ability to communicate with me was only half the picture, and it actually diminished the power the Conference messages might have in my own Post-Conference progression.
Step 11 challenges me to daily, “Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.” I don’t want to put God in a Conference sized box. I want Him to be alive and instructive and powerful everyday and in the way He sees best for me as an individual child. The testimony of continual revelation need not lay dormant, waiting for General Conference to role around again in six months. It can be strengthened every time I study the words delivered in Conference by Latter-day Prophets, and then take President Benson’s challenge to continually ask, “Lord, what would Thou have me to do?” What would Thou have me do about Thy message through Elder Bednar, Elder Packer, and President Monson etc?
In order for General Conference to become specific to me, the revelation can’t end with “God Be With You Til’ We Meet Again” and the final “Amen.” The messages delivered at Conference are meant to be the beginning. They are the Lord’s topic sentences, meant to initiate six months of Spirit facilitated personal direction, instruction, motivation, and change. For revelation to be truly continuous the teachings of the Prophets must enter my heart, and then I must seek further revelation, further personal understanding, and greater detail pertaining to me and my individual situation.
I grew up in California with a Utah born and raised mother. Twice a year as General Conference ended she would cry. Oh how did she hate the feast to end! But when the last “Amen” is said, I say, “Let’s all rejoice!” The same Spirit who brings to us the words of Christ during General Conference is alive and well and will continue to guide and instruct and change us. Even after we push the power button on the remote and the TV turns off we can allow the Revelator to continue in us.
By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, October 3, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
“If They Can Do It, So Can I!” – The Only Requirement
I’m so sorry to take you back to Disneyland this morning but I woke up with a 12 Step Reflection in my head and when that happens I try to pay attention. I was dreaming that I was being encouraged by my kids and grand kids to get onto a reportedly scary ride in the park. I must admit that “California Screaming,” to this date, is a bit of undone business for me. Anyway, I don’t know exactly what ride it was, but they tried to persuade me by telling me two things.
First, they brought up the fact that I definitely met the height requirement. If it’s been a long time since you visited a theme park I remind you of the stationary ruler at the entrance of all potentially terrifying rides. You can wait in line all you want, but when riders of questionable size make their way up to the front of the line, to the smiling, “Have a fun ride!” park employee, under the ruler they go to see if they meet the four foot prerequisite. If they do there is always a moment of glee. If they don’t, sometimes there are tears and the whole family has to reorganize so the “still too short” youngling can be properly cared for on the ground while the rest of the family goes flying.
Second, they tried to persuade me by bringing up the fact that Carson and Sammy and Ethan, the “little kids,” had already been brave enough to go on this particular ride and had in fact survived.
When it comes to embarking on the ride that leads to recovery and healing from addiction or from any of life’s struggles, there is also a ruler at the onset of the adventure. It does not measure our height or our age. We, in fact are never too young and never too old to apply the 12 Steps to our lives. It does not measure the supposed “seriousness” of our need. There is, in fact nothing too little and nothing too big to be taken through this Gospel, Christ centered process. So if age and stage aren’t on the measuring sticks, what are the criteria for getting on board?
There are three necessary elements. The first is the desire to change. “If your desire is small and inconsistent today, don’t worry. It will grow” (Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, 1, see side bar).
The second necessity is the ability to be honest. Living in recovery requires absolute honesty. Though this is a critical matter, as our desire grows and we give ourselves to study and participation with others who are applying these principles to their lives our capacity to be honest also grows.
Finally, living in recovery requires courage, the courage to do hard things, and sometimes the courage to stand-alone. As I participate with men and women from all walks of life struggling with every possible verity of need to be healed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, my courage to not only get on board but stay on board increases daily. It’s not any more complicated than the courage required when my Disneyland ride buddies encourage me by saying, “Mom” or “Grandma, if I did it so can you!”
If I make my way to the front of the “Space Mountain” ride line and find myself coming up short, I have no alternative but to come back in a year and try again. The miracle of a height increase over a three-day stay is improbable. The matter will have to be left to nature. The sad thing is that this is exactly how many of us have handled things when we’ve come up lacking the desire, honesty, and courage necessary for recovery and healing.
Now when it comes to missing the mark for “California Screaming” (due to lack of desire and courage) for yet another year, I can live with that. But I do not have to leave to nature my ability to meet the Lord’s requirements for recovery and healing. I have to continually remind myself that the good news about the Lords conditions, His yardstick, is that He has the power to actually grow my desire, honesty and courage. Through Him I can rise to the mark in miracle time.
So back to my dream and the encouragement of my family to do something I think will be frightening at the least and very possibly give me a heart attack at the worst, I encourage all to ask the Lord for what is necessary, to walk through the gate of recovery, sit down, buckle up, look at the variety of folks participating right along with you and enjoy the ride!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, October 2, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
First, they brought up the fact that I definitely met the height requirement. If it’s been a long time since you visited a theme park I remind you of the stationary ruler at the entrance of all potentially terrifying rides. You can wait in line all you want, but when riders of questionable size make their way up to the front of the line, to the smiling, “Have a fun ride!” park employee, under the ruler they go to see if they meet the four foot prerequisite. If they do there is always a moment of glee. If they don’t, sometimes there are tears and the whole family has to reorganize so the “still too short” youngling can be properly cared for on the ground while the rest of the family goes flying.
Second, they tried to persuade me by bringing up the fact that Carson and Sammy and Ethan, the “little kids,” had already been brave enough to go on this particular ride and had in fact survived.
When it comes to embarking on the ride that leads to recovery and healing from addiction or from any of life’s struggles, there is also a ruler at the onset of the adventure. It does not measure our height or our age. We, in fact are never too young and never too old to apply the 12 Steps to our lives. It does not measure the supposed “seriousness” of our need. There is, in fact nothing too little and nothing too big to be taken through this Gospel, Christ centered process. So if age and stage aren’t on the measuring sticks, what are the criteria for getting on board?
There are three necessary elements. The first is the desire to change. “If your desire is small and inconsistent today, don’t worry. It will grow” (Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, 1, see side bar).
The second necessity is the ability to be honest. Living in recovery requires absolute honesty. Though this is a critical matter, as our desire grows and we give ourselves to study and participation with others who are applying these principles to their lives our capacity to be honest also grows.
Finally, living in recovery requires courage, the courage to do hard things, and sometimes the courage to stand-alone. As I participate with men and women from all walks of life struggling with every possible verity of need to be healed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, my courage to not only get on board but stay on board increases daily. It’s not any more complicated than the courage required when my Disneyland ride buddies encourage me by saying, “Mom” or “Grandma, if I did it so can you!”
If I make my way to the front of the “Space Mountain” ride line and find myself coming up short, I have no alternative but to come back in a year and try again. The miracle of a height increase over a three-day stay is improbable. The matter will have to be left to nature. The sad thing is that this is exactly how many of us have handled things when we’ve come up lacking the desire, honesty, and courage necessary for recovery and healing.
Now when it comes to missing the mark for “California Screaming” (due to lack of desire and courage) for yet another year, I can live with that. But I do not have to leave to nature my ability to meet the Lord’s requirements for recovery and healing. I have to continually remind myself that the good news about the Lords conditions, His yardstick, is that He has the power to actually grow my desire, honesty and courage. Through Him I can rise to the mark in miracle time.
So back to my dream and the encouragement of my family to do something I think will be frightening at the least and very possibly give me a heart attack at the worst, I encourage all to ask the Lord for what is necessary, to walk through the gate of recovery, sit down, buckle up, look at the variety of folks participating right along with you and enjoy the ride!
By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, October 2, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Gratitude, It’s Still All About Me
On a particularity busy day, full of housework and homework I sat (finally) and began contemplating the subject of my children’s gratitude (or the lack of it). It suddenly dawned on me that I didn’t long for my children’s “Thanks so much Mom! You’re the best!” What I really desired was that they be thankful children; that they develop the ability to see my love for them, my patience with them, my sacrifice for them, not to fill some void within me, but for their own growth.
Seeing this truth in regard to my children and me has helped me apply it to my relationship with God.
I used to see the commandment to give thanks in all things as just one more requirement, something God needed me to do for Him. God does not need my thanks to fill His cup. He loves me and wants me to be a thankful child, not for Him, but for me.
The command to be grateful is an invitation to be aware – to be awake and alive to God’s gifts, to His precious grace. No, gratitude is not just one more item to add to our list of “do’s.” It is a way of validating the living presence of God in our lives. The command to be grateful is all about my progress, not about God’s need for validation.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
Seeing this truth in regard to my children and me has helped me apply it to my relationship with God.
I used to see the commandment to give thanks in all things as just one more requirement, something God needed me to do for Him. God does not need my thanks to fill His cup. He loves me and wants me to be a thankful child, not for Him, but for me.
The command to be grateful is an invitation to be aware – to be awake and alive to God’s gifts, to His precious grace. No, gratitude is not just one more item to add to our list of “do’s.” It is a way of validating the living presence of God in our lives. The command to be grateful is all about my progress, not about God’s need for validation.
By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.
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